Sweet dreams

So I'm slowly getting back to writing *does happy dance* I've been doing a lot of role playing on a House of Night forum, which I love to death. I heart everyone on there! :3 I don't own the House of Night, and this is one of my favorite couples in it.

The thought was like a nightmare, dreading him, causing him to lose sleep almost. He couldn't see himself without his Anastasia, his wife, his mate, his world. Even after the funeral pyre, with Lenobia by his side, he couldn't shake the grief that had struck him down to the lowest he felt since being Marked.

It was because of her that he kept fighting, getting stronger and becoming the man he was today. It was her who became a light in the world that didn't let some survive the Change. It was because of her that he was the person that was willing to fight for anything that he believed was the right thing to do.

Looking at the smoldering ashes, still feeling the struggling feline that was trying to toss herself into the ashes that were once her master, he felt his body shake in painful sobs. It shouldn't be. She should be here. He would rather die instead of her going through that agony.

It wasn't like that though. Nyx had her plan set from the start. She wasn't going to change it for any special reason. He shouldn't have realized that sooner but it didn't make the mourning any less painful for the one person he cherished with all his heart.

"Will you be alright my friend?" Lenobia spoke softly, hoping it didn't do any more damage to the person. She didn't want to cause more harm to his already fragile heart. She knew what he was going through because she was once in his shoes. She didn't want to be in that position again but it was all up to Nyx to decide what was going on.

"I don't know Lenobia. I just don't know."

She nodded softly, resting her hand on his shoulder like once before when Guinevere was trying to throw herself into the funeral pyre because of her friend. She wanted to linger and comfort the man that was going through the hardest time a person had to go through in their life but he wanted to be alone. She knew that was for the best.

It meant leaving him to thoughts that were nightmarish to think about. He might swear revenge or something drastic. Looking down at the two felines that were yowling out their pain, she sympathized for them. Reaching down and stroking them both, reminding them that they were still needed even if one of their masters were deceased.

Standing up straight, she sighed and nodded to the grieving man. She knew he didn't see but it was still enough to calm her – even if it was just a little.

He continued to stare at the ashes and hot spots that were once bright with flames that licked at his love's still body. He didn't want to remember it but his memory was almost taunting him. All he had were memories and he didn't like it. He wanted Anastasia by his side, not in the garden of Nyx. It sounded selfish and it made him feel selfish but his heart wanted to stay together.

It was silent, something that he hated. Silent brought on thoughts that he didn't want. He didn't want to think about the Raven Mockers or the person that sired them. It made disgust roll in his stomach, making him want to get sick. Even finding out that his love wasn't going to make it made his stomach roll to the point he thought he was going to vomit but didn't. It was a surprise.

Taking one last look at the ashes that were going to scatter in the wind, become part of the earth along with other things, he sighed. "Anastasia. I hope you forgive me for not protecting you. I really wish that we had killed that thing when we were younger but wishing what happened in the past to be different is only wistful thinking."

The yowling continued from the two felines that were mourning but of course Guinevere was taking it worse since she was Anastasia's familiar. Opening the door to the room that he used, feeling the stares that were focused on him by the people that were still somehow brainwashed by Kalona, he closed it softly.

The room seemed empty, even as he changed into his night clothes wasn't the same. He didn't have Anastasia talking about what happened in her class today or needed to pick up something from the store to show another spell to the classes the next day.

Crawling into the bed that was lonelier then when he was still a fledgling and didn't know the woman that was his mate. Letting his eyes fall close, his memories repeating the tragic that he took in when he found her, he didn't open them. He had to face it head on and conquer it.

Feeling Shadowfax curl up at his feet and Guinevere beside him, he tossed an arm around the mourning cat. He felt himself lulling to sleep but he didn't want to fall into the darkness that was going to be dreamless. He did though.

A field stretched around him, but when he looked closer it was a meadow. Trees lined it, encircling it. It looked like a place from a fairytale but he didn't believe in those kinds of things. He hated them. Why believe something that was made up and made people believe in it?

"Bryan." It was the voice that he knew so well, memorized and held to his heart dearly.

He spun around, expecting to not see the woman that he cherished. Instead he saw her standing there in a gown that was white with gold embroidery. It looked amazing on her but anything she put on was amazing on her. "Anastasia."

"Bryan you mustn't grieve too long. The kids need you there to show that there is still light in this world." She stated calmly as she looked at him with a soft smile on her lips.

"How? One of those damn Raven Mockers killed you. I can never accept that. That Raven Mocker needs to die."

"This is coming from a man that is so fierce with a sword but the sweetest lover. A man that put his life on the line for kids that might die later on because their bodies rejected the Change. Remember that. You are the Head of the Sons of Erebus that means you must put your personal feelings aside to protect."

He didn't want to agree to the words that she was saying. She was right though. He had to but he wasn't going to. He nodded slowly, seeing the dream dissolve until it was darkness again. It was a good moment because he got to see her one last time. One time was good enough.

So how was it? It dawned on me when I was Rping I think. Please review.