Disclaimer: Penguins of Madagascar and all related characters are the property of Nickelodeon, DreamWorks, and any or all related affiliates. This fiction was created for the purpose of having fun and being creative, no money is being made in any way from it's creation and posting.
Deviations
By
Wildgoose
(The scene opens inside of the main office at the Central Park Zoo as the day shift is lined up for the time clock ready to punch out for the day each of them with an exhausted look in their eyes as the zoo was host to a large number of school field trips. At the same time a single person is waiting nearby for his chance to clock in for the night shift. After the daytime staff have finished and most of them have left the office for the day the night time guy approaches the time clock to do his thing. As he does so he is approached by Alice who has stayed behind to talk to him.)
Alice: (As Steve turns from the time clock to acknowledge her) Hey weirdo…
Steve: Alice,…please stop calling me that. I know it's your version of an affectionate nickname but when you use it too often like that it begins to wear a little thin. (makes a gesture with his thumb and index finger.) Very thin…. (Alice steps behind him and begins to rub his shoulders)
Alice: You're hardly one to be a sour puss, …do you have any idea what kind of day I've had had today? We had twelve, …count them, twelve school field trips today. All of them composed of snotty ill mannered little children who can barely be controlled by their teachers. (Starts to go off on a rant) All day long, ….why, why, why. Everything is why, ….and then when you give them answer they were looking for they suddenly become a little smarty pants and try to contradict you. (Stops rubbing shoulders and starts to huff with a reddening face) If you thought you knew better than I the professional do than why did you freaking need to ask you little monster! (Steve turns the table by stepping behind Alice and giving her a shoulder rub)
Steve: Calm down, …go to your happy place. You're on Waikiki beach, got the whole place to yourself, …yadda, yadda, yadda. The evil monster children are gone now and they can't hurt you anymore. (After a minute Alice begins to calm down, she then turns to wrap her arms about Steve's shoulders.)
Alice: (smiles) So when did you learn how to calm people down so well?
Steve: (Pauses in thought) Shortly after you carted me home from the hospital a while back and started fishing for a relationship. You're about the most wound up person I know.
Alice: (flirting) So how wound up tight do you like me? (Steve tries to maintain a straight face so not to look away in disgust. After a moment he opts to change the subject.)
Steve: You're going on a vacation after today so let's not get into something like that, ….please.
Alice: (scoffs) HA, …afraid you're going to miss me huh?
Steve: (long pause) To be honest, …..we should probably have a talk. (Alice backs away several steps)
(Their voices fade as the scene pulls out away from the office to the penguin habitat. The penguins appear to be having a diving contest between themselves as each tries to outdo the other. The next to dive off of the concrete slab is Rico who seems to hang in the air for what seems like an eternity while somersaulting over and over before finally straightening out and directing himself into a nose dive until he contacts the water of the pond. As he surfaces he is greeted by a short number of cheers from the group.)
Skipper: Excellent maneuver Rico, …but with just a little too much hang time. You make yourself a target when you just hang in the air for that long. (pause) Heck, you'd might as well paint a big red bulls eye on your feathers. (Rico looks annoyed as he waddles back to the group. (pause) Alright Kowalski, …who's up next?
Kowalski: (looks at a chart attached to a clipboard .) Well, ….Yoshi was going to run diving drills with us today. However that idea was scrubbed once Marlene found out about it. She likely saw it as some sort of commando exercise that we were running.
Skipper: (sighs) What is it with females? Not every little thing we do is an exercise around here, …we know how to cut loose and have a little fun. Right boys?
Kowalski: I guess that depends on how we each of us characterizes what exactly fun is. To me, …fun is successfully wielding the powers of science and knowledge in the palm of my flipper. To Rico, ..obviously fun is demolition. Then there's Private, …who's just about as happy go lucky as can be.
Private: I'm not THAT much fun, …I have a serious side.
Skipper: (pokes Private in the chest) Sure you do Private. You do serious about as well as Mort does smart. (private crosses his flippers in Protest as Skipper turns back to Kowalski) So who's next then?
Rico: (grunts) Kitsune!
Kowalski: (clears his throat) While you are right, Rico. I don't think your girlfriend is interested in diving with us today. She never came topside when Skipper gave the order to fall in.
Skipper: Insubordination,…that's not going to wash! Private, ..here's a chance to prove that you have a serious side. Go remind Kitsune that she's under orders to present herself for diving exercises.
Private: I thought that you said these weren't exercises.
Skipper: Never mind that! (pause) Move out man! (Private salutes and belly slides away and then pops down through the hatch to the H.Q. The scene changes to inside the H.Q. As Private parts the curtain that separates Kitsune's quarters from the rest of the H.Q he finds that she is meditating. She is sitting on the floor with eyes closed and three candles burning before her on a small table. On the opposite side of the table is a picture frame containing the letter Mr. Takagi had sent to her just before he died.)
Private: Um, ….sorry to bother you Kitsune. Skipper gave orders, …he wants you topside for diving drills. (Kitsune offers no response. So private moves to touch her shoulder.) Oh dear, …I hope she doesn't turn on me for this. (Before Private can actually touch her shoulder though, …Kitsune responds by grabbing his flipper and turning to face him. The orange glow of the candlelight gives her green eyes a very sinister and angry appearance. Private gulps in fear.)
Kitsune: (releases him and searches for her writing materials.) Why are you always afraid when you approach me?
Private: I'm not sure really, …you just always look angry. Like you're ready to hurt somebody, …I guess I'm afraid that the somebody will be me,
Kitsune: (Slowly blinks and then lets out a deep sigh before writing) I am not always angry, ….annoyed maybe but not angry. Have a seat. (Private sits down on the floor next to her.)
Private: Don't you normally meditate later in the evening? That's usually clockwork with you.
Kitsune: (writes) Today is different, ….I lost sensei one year ago today. I held so much anger against him for so long, …unjustified anger. That anger spurred fits of rage that caused the deaths of five other animals, …some of them penguins. Now that sensei is gone, ….I can never atone for any of it. As close as I can come is to honor his memory in meditation from the beginning of the day until the end, …and pray for forgiveness.
Private: I'm not trying to make light of the situation, Kitsune. However from what I understand, ….your emotions toward this human were a complete misunderstanding.
Kitsune: (writes) That is irrelevant now, …what's done is done. My past actions condemn me, …I have expressed an invitation to mate with Rico and start a family three times in the past year. He won't touch me….. (a tear rolls from one eye)
Private: Wow um, …that's rather personal. Thanks for sharing.
Kitsune: (writes) You don't care?
Private: (annoyed) Of coarse I care, …if anybody in this place cares about anything it's me. I'm simply saying that I'm not exactly qualified to offer advice on such a matter. I've mated before, …but it wasn't exactly by choice. (Kitsune smiles)
Kitsune: (writes) That still makes you more qualified than me. (she winks at him)
Private: Oh,…oh I see. Um, ….if I might ask?
Kitsune: (writes) I think he still loves me, ….but he's afraid if he holds me the wrong way amidst the act then I might have one of my outbursts and end him, …and then anytime I try to discuss the matter with him he puts both feet in his mouth and says the absolute wrong thing, ….or he just pretends that's he's got something he has to go blow up. It's always one or the other.
Private: That's not like Rico to be afraid of anything.
Kitsune: (writes) He wasn't like this in the beginning, he was witty and exciting. I thought that he would be the one to complete me, ….but I think he just fears me now. (shrugs) Everybody fears me sooner or later. (looks down at her feet)
Private: (pauses in thought) Wait a minute, ….that can't be true because I don't fear you. (Kitsune quickly glances up directly at Private with a momentary reflection of background light off of her green eyes. Private quakes for a moment as he tries not to squeak in fright.) Apparently I was wrong. (awkward pause as Private tries to clear his throat.) So, …. when was the last time you had an outburst?
Kitsune: (writes) Camden.
Private: That was a year ago, …give Rico some more time.
Kitsune: (writes) Time is the problem, …the more I give him the more he learns about me and the worse the problem becomes.
Private: I see. (sighs) Well,….if you're really determined to have a family then at the worst you could just wait until he's asleep and roll over on him. You know, …sort of like sleep walking?
Kitsune: (writes) Sleep sex?
Private: That's what Pepper blamed it on. Five times to be exact, ….she said she couldn't help it. (Kitsune let's fly with an intensely horse laugh)
Kitsune: (writes after rubbing her throat in pain) Chances are that if you called her on the shortwave she will already have hatched your egg.
Private: Oh dear, …don't say that. I'm not ready to have children I'll never get to see. What if they call me up wanting something?
Kitsune: (writes) As long as they don't call collect then you shouldn't have to worry, …they just want to know you.
Private: And if they did call collect?
Kitsune: (writes) Hide anything valuable that you've got,… tell them you're broke, and ask if they could give YOU a loan. I guarantee you'll never hear from them again. (Skippers voice echo's down through the hatch on the H.Q.)
Skipper: Private,….we haven't got all day!
Kitsune: (writes) let's go, …it sounds like Ahab needs to get his whale.
Private: (cringes) It's not a scorca is it? (Kitsune stares at him for a moment and then rolls her eyes before blowing out the candles and heading out to meet the others.)
(The scene snaps to the concrete slab where the others are stretched out sunning themselves.)
Private: Reporting as ordered, Skipper.
Skipper: What took you so long, Private? You were down there for ten minutes.
Private: Sorry sir, …we were having a personal conversation. Kitsune was spending the day in memory of a lost love one. (Skipper sighs as he recalls what Private is talking about.)
Skipper: Understood Private, …however I still need all of my people to be in tip top shape. We need you in the water , Kitsune.
Kitsune: (rolls her eyes and the writes) If I give you one REALLY good dive, …will you leave me alone to meditate…?
Skipper: Negotiating your orders? (shakes his head) I'll tell you what., I'm in a good mood today so I'll let this insubordination slide just this once. …If your dive totally blows my socks off, …then yes you may return to your meditation. (turns to Rico) Rico, ….I need a pair of socks for the lady to blow off. What can you do for me?
Rico: (stares into space for a moment and then takes off over the habitat fence toward the night time zoo keeper who is just starting his shift. Rico is out of sight beyond the fence but the zookeeper is seen falling with a yelp as if he had the legs yanked out from under him moments before Rico returns. In his flippers are two large black socks.) TaDa!
Skipper: Holy mackerel, Rico! I could probably fit my whole body into those things. (Shakes his head) No matter, …my word is my word. They'll have to do. (Turns to the others) Kowalski, …Private, …operation sock the penguin is a go.
Kowalski: These socks appear to have been used already, …we'll need hazmat gear Rico. (Rico hacks up two gas masks and then hands them over. Once fitted the penguins approach Skipper each with a sock in hand and install them on Skippers feet.)
Skipper: Okay geisha girl, …have at thee. (Kitsune scowls in offence as she walks over to the edge of the slab and looks down at the water. A moment later she closes her eyes and begins to perform what at least appears to be Tai Chi. She does a brief spin with flippers outspread which stirs a number of fall leaves into the air from off of the concrete slab. She stops her spin and begins to use her flippers to channel the leaves into a floating, rotating column in the air which begins to spin faster and faster until suddenly Kitsune leaps into the air and with her flippers thrusts the column down into the water ahead of herself. With a massive impact splash a huge divot is left in the water which Kitsune dives into just before the water crashes back in on itself sending a column of water into the air with Kitsune riding the top of it. Seconds after the water settles Kitsune Gracefully descends out of the sky and lands on the slab with such force as to displace the surrounding air. The shockwave knocks everybody off of their feet. A moment later the others begin to get up.)
Kowalski: Skipper, ….your FEET! (Skipper looks down at his feet to see the socks missing.)
Skipper: What the deuce…? (Rico mumbles in the background and everyone turns to see that the socks are embedded within his mouth.)
Kitsune: (writes) Who's impressed? (Everyone holds up a flipper and in acknowledgement Kitsune waddles past them to get back to her meditation.)
Kowalski: Wait! Do you have any idea what's you've just done to me? What you just did, …it shouldn't even be possible! That was something straight out of science fiction. It defies the very laws of physics and I'll be wracking my brain for the next year trying to explain the mechanics behind it all! (Clutches his head with his flippers and falls on his rump groaning.) My head hurts already!
Kitsune: (writes) Most of the things you invent defy the laws of physics, Kowalski. But they still happen anyway. (She turns and heads back into the H.Q. shaking the water from her feathers as she goes.)
Skipper: (closes his eyes and bows his head) Hold your heads in shame gentleman, …we got served.
(The scene changes to later in the evening. The zookeeper is making his rounds with mealtime rations and currently has stopped to introduce the concept of hackysack to Marlene's pups in attempt to keep them occupied and out of her fur constantly. They are only too eager to learn a new activity and soon are very preoccupied with themselves. The zookeeper continues on to the penguin habitat and is surprised to see a nineteen or twenty year old Asian woman standing up against the railing looking over the habitat seemingly with nostalgia. He stops to look at his watch and then at the sky which still gives off just enough light to see without aid of the area flood lights. He approaches her with caution and at first thinks that she has not noticed him.)
Steve: Excuse me ma'am, but the zoo closed for the day a little over two hours ago. How did you get in here? (The woman turns to face him showing herself to be more Asian American than Asian. She has unique yellow highlights in the hairs along the side of her head which become visible once the zookeeper is within a few feet of her.)
Woman: I stayed, ….I'm sorry to cause a problem but I really wanted to look at the penguin habitat for a while. You know, …for nostalgic reasons.
Steve: I've never known anyone to be nostalgic about penguins. Nauseated, ….incurred migraines and hospital injuries because of them, but never been nostalgic about them.
Woman: (smiles) Not so much about the penguins, ….this is where my parents first met each other. (she glances at the habitat.) Right here.
Steve: In the habitat…? (Groans) I need to keep a sharper eye out for freaks in this place at night.
Woman: It's …
Steve: Difficult to explain….? Trust me, …I've seen all kinds of weird in this place. (Does an Igor impression) Things I can't bear to talk about, …(Agitated voice.) YOU WOULDN"T WANT TO KNOW! (The woman begins laughing)
Woman: You sound just like my father, ….he was funny too.
Steve: (pretends to be struck in the heart with a spear.) I remind you of your father…? I didn't think I looked that old. (Looks at his reflection in the penguin pond.) Maybe I need to get some " Just for Men" ® or something. (Woman laughs again)
Woman: You're fine, …I meant in terms of character.
Steve: Oh okay, …now I don't feel any better. (sighs) Okay, …nostalgia time is over. The zoo is closed and I need to escort you out now.
Woman: I understand. (They begin walking toward the front exit.)
Steve: So you said your father WAS funny, …what happened if you don't mind my asking?
Woman: He was killed in a car accident when I was ten. It was during a bad Nor'easter, …and my mother was pregnant with my youngest brother. My dad insisted on going out to get a medication that mom needed, …and despite pleads to stay with her and wait out the storm until it passed, he went anyway. The rest gets pretty emotional.
Steve: I'm sorry, …It sounds like you have a very close family.
Woman: (looks at him and smiles) Don't worry, …you'll get there before you know it.
Steve: (does a cold shiver) This is creepy, ….I know that smile from somewhere. Do I know you…? (They approach the front gates and Steve opens them.)
Woman: (cocks her head in thought.) Not yet, …be patient though.
Steve: (uneasy) Okay, …that was hauntingly cryptic. You definitely weren't fishing for a date with that remark.
Woman: May I ask a very personal favor of you?
Steve: Getting personal now? I barely know you.
Woman: (stomps her foot with annoyance) This is important, …if you have any honor than you'll comply with my request.
Steve: Okay, the weirdness factor here just jumped. I know those mannerisms from somewhere.
Woman: (Calm, quiet, subtle tone of voice as she looks him directly in eye.) Please…. (Steve nods) Someday, …if somebody you truly care about makes a request of you like the one my mother made to my father, ….will you put aside you're stubbornness and comply with the request?
Steve: This isn't going to get all Star Wars ® is it? (does his best Vader impression) Luke, …I am your father! (The woman just stares at him and after a moment he sighs) I get the feeling you're the kind of person I couldn't say no to anyway, ….you have my word. (The woman looks into his eyes and a moment later a tear rolls down her cheek.) On one condition…. (The woman looks at him with curiosity peaked.)
Give me your first name, …Maybe I can figure out why you seem familiar later.
Woman: (smiles) Keiko.
Steve: (Pauses in thought) Nope, …I've got nothing. I'll have to make it work later I guess.
Keiko: May I ask you one more thing? (Steve tilts his head back and groans in annoyance.)
Steve: What, …you need a kidney or something?
Keiko: (laughs) I was just curious about the shiner on your left eye, ….it's rather hard to miss. My mom would sometimes clock my dad when they got into a really bad argument, …always on the same eye. (pause) That one.
Steve: (stares at her for a long minute before he submits.) I broke up with my girlfriend today, …she didn't take it so well. (smiles sarcastically) She wasn't your mother was she..? (Keiko laughs and shakes her head no and He escorts her out and then locks the gates behind her before walking back to his duties. From outside the fence the woman watches as Steve walks away and disappears from view. A moment later a phone in her pocket begins to ring.)
Keiko: (reaches into her pocket and picks up the phone.) I'm here Kowalski, ….yes I'm ready. Of COARSE I didn't tell him anything, …I just needed to talk to him one more time. No I didn't see her, …she has an insight for this sort of thing. She'd have known something about me was peculiar. (Laughs) Tell Kowalski Sr. that E doesn't exactly equal MC2 anymore, ..that'll get him going for hours. (She hangs up the phone and a moment later it pulses with energy and she disappears in a blinding flash.
(The scene changes to inside the penguin habitat at about the same time as Marlene comes sliding down the entrance ladder. At first sight she notices that the penguins all have ear muffs on. Marlene approaches Skipper and pulls one of the muffs away from his ear.)
Marlene: Hey guys, ..what's shaking? (Rico's voice can be heard coming from Kitsune's quarters in the background. Skipper doesn't take his eyes off of the paper he's reading, but only gestures with his flipper toward Kitsune's quarters where a large pile of note paper can be seen spewing from under the curtain.) Oh dear, …they're arguing again? (Skipper gestures for the others to remove their head gear.)
Skipper: That is affirmative, Marlene. We're laying odds on when they might call it quits.
Marlene: You're betting on how long the argument will last?
Kowalski: Not that Quits, Marlene. ….QUITS!
Marlene: Skipper, …how can you bet on somebody's love life like that?
Private: That's easy, ….we're using fish as money. (Giggles) A herring is worth five… (Skipper smacks him)
Skipper: She doesn't need every sordid detail!
Marlene: I, …I can't believe you guys. Instead of letting this escalate you should be in there intervening or something.
Skipper: We're guys, Marlene. We don't meddle in the love affairs of other people. Women on the other hand? Well let's just say that that's what they do best. (Marlene balls her paws into fists and growls)
Marlene: I'll remember that the next time you come over to play, mister.
Kowalski: Um, …just to clarify. By play do you mean…?
Skipper: (cuts him off) Classified…! (Skipper sighs and then gets up from the table.) Alright, …I'll try to intervene just to make you happy. (he begins to walk toward the back of the cave when suddenly there is an explosion followed by throwing stars piercing the curtain, followed by thirty caliber machine gun fire.) Forget intervention, ….hit the deck people! Everyone drops to the floor seconds before the melee ends with Kitsune's curtain falling to the ground revealing Rico pinned on the floor by Kitsune with sword poised to behead him. The room in the background looks like a devastated war zone. Skipper picks his head up off of the floor to glare at Marlene.) ….And you wanted me to intervene? (Kitsune taking no notice of the others stops what she's doing, pants a few times to vent, and then shakes her head no just before throwing her sword to the floor. She then storms out of the H.Q)
Marlene: (looks depressed) I guess I'll go try to calm her down and talk to her.
Skipper: (Picks himself up off of the floor) Hold it right there, Marlene. (turns to the others) Kowalski report!
Kowalski: She appears to have expended all of her stars, left the line of her grapple gun wrapped around Rico's throat, and left the room without her sword. That accounts for all of her usual load of ordinance Skipper, …it should be somewhat safe to try to talk to her. However maintain a safe distance Marlene, …she's still a martial arts master the likes of which none of us has ever seen before. If you ticked her off enough she could probably make you eat your own tail.
Marlene: (scoffs) Oh come on, …I don't think…. (nervous pause) Really….? (Long pause as Skipper gestures for her to get moving.) Oh great, …and it was my suggestion to get involved in the first place. Way to go Marlene. (She scampers up the ladder and out of the H.Q.)
Skipper: Alright people the shows over, …let's clean up this mess.
Private: Um Skipper, …I don't think the show is quite over yet. (Private points to Rico who is still lying on the ground moaning in pain. The view pivots to reveal that the sadistic sex toy that Rico carried with his ordinance load is now imbedded within his rectum, ,..switched on.) What are we going to do about that….?
Kowalski: (nauseated) Oh sweet mercy….
Skipper: (groans with disgust) I'll need my medical supplies, ….Kowalski see if you can find them around here. (long pause) Men, …I am hereby classifying what is about to take place above top secret. Nobody finds out about this, …is that understood? (Everyone nods.)
(The scene snaps to outside of the H.Q where Kitsune is sitting at the edge of the concrete slab dipping her feet into the cold water. Marlene can be seen approaching cautiously from behind. As she comes closer Kitsune holds up a note for Marlene to take and read.)
Kitsune: (writes) Have no fear, …I have managed to vent sufficiently.
Marlene: What, ….what happened back there?
Kitsune: (writes while her tears dapple the paper.) We broke up….
Marlene: THAT! That was a break up? (Clasps her paws about her head.) You were about to kill him, …we all saw it!
Kitsune: (writes) The last straw was that he said if we had children and I had one of my freak outs that I might inadvertently kill them all. (She begins to sob)
Marlene: Oh wow, ….that's pretty heartless. That doesn't sound like Rico at all though, …are you sure it wasn't just said in the heat of the moment? People say all kinds of hurtful stupid things in the heat of the moment.
Kitsune: (writes) Whether he did or not makes no difference, …it's clear now that he does not want me. (pause) Why would anybody want me, …I'm a screwed up psychotic homicidal penguin.
Marlene: Okay, …now I think you're just being hard on yourself. You're not all of that, ….all of the time. (Pause) Okay, …that didn't help. I'm sorry….
Kitsune: (writes) You're trying, …I understand. (pause) What's truly sad is that when I came here I thought I could have a chance to start over. A new place with unfamiliar faces where my past wouldn't have a chance to catch up with me.
Marlene: Is that why you came up here? I thought it was because you came to bail us out of Camden and wound up getting transferred because the humans had figured out that you and Rico were together.
Kitsune: (writes) It WAS, …but what I'm trying to tell you is that I wanted to try to make the best of the situation.
Marlene: Okay, …so what went wrong with your plan?
Kitsune: (writes) The guys had a chance to get to know me first before I came here. Now I never hear the end of it, …"Rico's crazy girlfriend", "Try not to kill anybody, Kitsune." (Pause) Need I go on?
Marlene: No, ….no you've pretty much covered it. Way to go…. (pause) So, ….how do we get to the root of this then? What's the source of the problem?
Kitsune: (writes) You know me as well as the others, …I have anger issues and a really BAD temper. (Sighs) No matter how hard I try I just cannot find any peace. ( pause) Sometimes I just wish I could go back home to Japan, ….but there's nobody there for me now. Sensei was all I had…. (begins to tear up as a loud honky tonk beat starts up somewhere in the background.) Stupid lemurs, ….nobody want's to dance to your crappy music!
Marlene: Um, …I don't think that's the lemurs. They listen to club music, …or at least I think It's club music. Either way it's just as annoying but comes from the opposite end of the zoo. (the other penguins pop up through the hatch in the slab.)
Skipper: What the devil is that racket?
Kowalski: (whips out a mini satellite dish attached to a makeshift handheld computer.) The source of the music appears to be coming from the baboon habitat.
Skipper: Them? Since when did they get a boom box?
Kowalski: I have no idea Skipper, the only time we ever heard them sing and dance was when King Julian had his groove stolen from him and then it somehow found it's way into you.
Skipper: (awkward silence) I uh, ….don't remember that part.
Private: Sure you do Skipper, ..how could you forget. You became a dancing machine for a short time.
Skipper: Thank you so much for the reminder, Private. Allow me to restate myself, ….I don't WANT to remember that.
Private: Oh, ..sorry.
Rico: (Grunts) So what do we do about this?
Marlene: What's to do? It's not like they're the lemurs blasting their music all night. Let the Baboons have their fun for a little while.
Kitsune: (writes) Must we…?
Marlene: If you're determined to try to change your self image then you need to learn patience and curb that temper of yours, Kitsune.
Kitsune: (sighs deeply and writes with sarcasm) Thank you Dr. Phil. ® (The scene fades out)
(The scene comes back much later, …the time is now two in the morning and a vast majority of the zoo is quiet with exception of the baboons who are still partying. Despite this most of the zoo seems to have developed an immunity to it after having to listen to Julian's antics for so long. The animals are all quiet and the zookeeper can be seen making his rounds checking up on all of the animals one habitat at a time. The scene changes to focus on the inside of the penguin habitat, the four original penguins are sound asleep having donned their earmuffs to insure a good nights rest. The exception to the rule is Kitsune who has buried her head under her partially destroyed pillow and tosses about periodically trying to block out the noise and get some sleep. After another thirty minutes of this she decides that she has had enough and gets out of the bed to go have a chat with the baboons. Huffing she clutches the recently re-hung tattered curtain and then pauses to look at her reflection in a small mirror she has hung on the wall. She sighs deeply and decides not to tempt fate by regurgitating all of her weapons and leaving them on the floor behind her as she leaves the H.Q. Sometime later the music stops abruptly and with it the vibrations caused by the amplified bass. This change in the status quo caused to Skipper to stir and wake up.)
Skipper: (removing his ear muffs.) The music stopped, …..all right! (Pauses as he hears his stomach gurgle) Wait just a second, ….my penguin senses are tingling. (Lets loose with flatulence and then pauses again,) Nope, that wasn't it. Something's not right around here. (Looks about to see that the other three are still sound asleep with Rico clutching his doll.) Isn't that just adorable? (He waddles to the far end of the cave and parts the curtain to check on Kitsune only to find her weapons on the floor and her bunk empty.) On no, …..something is Definitely rotten in Denmark. (sniffs) Oh wait, …that was just me. (pause) Get a hold of yourself soldier, …she left her stuff behind so that's a good thing. (pause) No it's not, …she never does that. Something's amiss….. (Skipper turns and belly slides to the ladder and then shoots up and out of the H.Q.)
(The scene changes to the baboon habitat as Skipper vaults over the wall to find Kitsune and Marlene standing across from the baboons. Off to the right is a large very smashed stereo.)
Marlene: Skipper, …..thank god your hear.
Skipper: Sweet mackerel, ….what happened here?
Marlene: Kitsune tried to get Darla to either turn down or turn off the stereo. She refused and things just went downhill from there.
Skipper: So how did you get involved in all of this?
Marlene: I was already here for the same purpose when Kitsune showed up. Let me just say that negotiations to turn off the music were not going well. (Kitsune approaches and begins to write to voice her side of the story when she is cut off.)
Skipper: I don't want to hear it, …I can see already that you flew off the handle again! Withdraw twenty paces and wait for me to come talk to you! (Pause) That's an order! (Kitsune complies and Skipper turns back to the baboons.) Alright, let's look at this from both angles.
Darla: Angles my behind, …that girl destroyed our stereo!
Marlene: Which you guys have been blasting all night long. I mean, …give us a break already! Julian is bad enough with HIS music.
Darla: Don't y'all compare us with that lemur, …he's just a self absorbed dancing fool. We've got style.
Marlene: Um yea right, style. Okay, …but couldn't you have turned your style down just a little bit? I mean things didn't have to go this far, ….I tried to talk to you first. KITSUNE even tried to talk to you first, ….I mean you can't tell me that didn't show effort on her part.
Darla: There wasn't any effort at all, ….she just kept shoving paper in my face.
Skipper: (Wipes his face with his flipper) She can't talk Darla, ….that's how she communicates by writing notes.
Darla: Well so sorry for her then, because I can't read human. Y'all think you are so smart around here reading and writing the human words. That girl has got a bad attitude and she destroyed my stereo! (pause as she crosses her arms) I want it replaced…..
Skipper: (groans) Where are Kitsune's notes?
Darla: Excuse me?
Skipper: The notes, girl! You can't expect me to take action against one of my subordinates without hearing both sides. (Darla points to a small pile of paper tinged with baboon dung.) What the….?
Marlene: Yea, …Darla didn't think to highly of Kitsune's method of communication. She um….
Skipper: Yea, …I got that. (Skipper reluctantly picks up the notes and reads them one by one.) These are all written in a nice calm manner, …she was trying to negotiate with you. (Pause as he turns to see Kitsune in the distance) Way to go, Kitsune! I may just owe you an apology. (Pause) So at what point did things go south?
Marlene: Right about when Darla used Kitsune's notes for sanitary napkins. Kitsune actually did some sort of blood curdling scream that sounded like an animal being crushed and I think I could make out something about "No honor". That's when she drew a picture of Texas in the sand, urinated on it, then and smashed the stereo.
Skipper: It sounds like a massive misunderstanding topped with ignorance, Darla.
Marlene: …..And baboon poop, …don't forget that.
Skipper: The POINT is, ….that Kitsune tried to talk…..
Darla: The time for talk is over penguin, …I can forgive the paper being shoved in my face but when you mess with Texas you're messing with the bull! Now I want my stereo replaced, ..pronto!
Skipper: This whole mess was spawned by your own ignorance, Darla. (Motions for the others to follow him) I think we're done here.
Darla: (motions for the other baboons to block their exit.) We're not done here, …not by a long shot! I told Y'all you were messing with the bull, …now here come the horns. You think my backwoods magic is some hocus pocus used for parlor tricks like what I did to the lemur? I've got a news flash for you, … I've got a whammy that'll turn you inside out. Y'all are going to get me that new stereo, …and you're going to do it the hard way by working for it. You like the humans so much with their writing? Well then you can join them, ….and you can't come back until you've got my stereo. (Points to Kitsune) And SHE can't come back until she apologizes.
Skipper: You're not making any sense baboon, …I think you've been blasting that stereo so long your mind has turned to mush.
Darla: Make sense of this penguin! Y'all are banished to the human world. (makes a gesture with her paws)
Skipper: (Looks about to see that nothing has happened) What, …no singing and dancing this time? I expected a better show than what you gave Julian.
Darla: Laugh while you can penguin, …the more complex spells take a bit of time to take effect. Not to worry though, …you'll get what's coming to you.
Skipper: Right, …let's go people. We'll let the baboons know if we find the minds that they've lost. (Skipper leaves with the others and make their way back to their habitats with Kitsune hanging back a little.)
Marlene: Don't look so down Kitsune, …it wasn't your fault this time. You actually tried to control your temper and talk things out for a change. I'm proud of you! (Kitsune stops in her tracks while the others continue. She notices that Marlene has begun to leave a light trail of fur behind her. She looks at herself to see a small number of feather come loose from her flipper. A worried expression comes over her face as she picks up the pace to catch up with the others. She observes Skipper and Marlene share an embrace in the distance ahead of her just before they part to their own habitats. By the time Kitsune reaches the wall of the penguin habitat she is overcome by severe nausea and bends herself over the wall in pain as she begins to drop feathers steadily.)
(The scene cuts to inside the cave of the otter habitat where Marlene has just finished tucking her pups back into bed after they had gotten out to roughhouse in her absence.)
Marlene: Good night guys, …don't let the bed bugs…(she is overcome by symptoms similar to Kitusne and her pups jump out of bed to offer assistance)
Yoshi: Mom, …what's wrong? (After trying to steady her mother with her paws she sees a large amount of fur come loose in them.)
Loki: (Scared) This isn't one of my jokes guys, ..I swear!
Hannibal: Mom, what's wrong with you? What do we do? (The view from Marlene's perspective begins to tilt upward expressing a change in size as the pups cling to each other in fright. Hannibal turns to Yoshi) You're always trying to take charge of things, …what do we do?
Yoshi: (tries to think) Get dad! (Hannibal and Loki tear out of the habitat only to return a moment later.)
Loki: Dad's in the same boat, …it must be contagious or something! It's got Ms. Kitsune too, I mean the penguins are really freaking out over there!
Hannibal: (smacks Loki) I told you not to pick your nose, …there's germs in there! You probably infected mom with something when you touched her.
Yoshi: Will you two shut up, …we need help. (Pause) We don't have a choice, …get the zookeeper! (The other two tear out of the habitat once again. As much as twenty minutes later the pups come scampering across the zoo with the zookeeper walking briskly behind.)
Steve: I've got no idea what's gotten into you little guys but this had better be important and nothing had better have been blown up or burnt down! I didn't bring my migraine medication with me tonight. (While heading to the otter habitat he hears a heavy splash and redirects, despite the otter pups protests, to the penguin habitat where after looking over the railing see's a naked Asian woman floating in the penguins pond.) Oh for god's sake lady, …I kicked you out of here hours ago! (removes his footwear and pocket materials before jumping into the pond after her.) COLD! (smacks the water with his fists before swimming over to the woman and pulling her onto the concrete slab. He then retrieves the wooden plank from the bushes and carries her out and over to a bench where he covers her with his jacket and checks for vitals.)
Definitely not the person I thought you were, ….a close second though. (The pups are still going berserk and after a moment the zookeeper follows them to the otter habitat where after many uttered profanities he retrieves another naked woman bringing her over to the bench by the penguin habitat.) Alright, …I'll be right back. I have to get some blankets and a med kit. (Looks at the pups) Stay here! (Moments later he returns with the supplies and after covering the women pulls out his cell phone to dial 911. The pups jump up in unison to knock the phone out of the zookeepers hand and gesture "no" frantically. (Soon thereafter the penguins grab his attention with a similar problem and a naked man is carried out of the habitat and placed on the ground near the women and covered with a blanket.) What in God's great name is going on here? (Pauses as he looks at the animals gathered around) Where's Kitsune! I need to be able to talk to you guys! (Yoshi jumps over on top of the Asian woman and begins to jump up and down but she is brushed aside by the zookeeper.) Stop it, ..these people need help and I need to know what's going on. Now where is Kitsune? (All three pups stand about the unconscious Asian woman and begin to point frantically. They even go so far as to form an arrow with their own bodies pointing to the woman. The zookeeper stares for several long minutes before stumbling backward and falling on his rump in disbelief.)
(The scene fades to black)
Chapter 2 coming soon…..
Comments and suggestions are always welcome.