I didn't believe the results. Not at first, anyway.
"Cancer," I said flatly.
"Pancreatic cancer." His words were clear, but his voice somehow seemed faint, almost distant
"And I have…"
"Three months, at most." A pause, to allow the full impact of his words to sink in. A pitying, compassionate gaze.
"I see." The dull ringing in my ears was growing louder by the minute.
A long, uncomfortable beat. He shifted uneasily. I waited.
"With treatment, of course," he began, "you could be as good as cured in one to two—"
"I can't afford it." Four words no doctor wants to hear. Words he was expecting to hear.
"This is your life we're talking about, Mr. Miller." He stole a quick glance at his watch—he had other patients to see. Paying ones. "Money—"
"Doctor."
"Hm?"
"Doc tor Miller," I said firmly and distinctly. "Doc. Ter."
"I can understand how upset you must be. Really, I do." I was already halfway across the room. "If there's anything you need to do to prepare…"
"I'll be okay." I slammed the door shut. It felt right. One of the nurses was staring at me: I glared at her. She scampered.
"I'll sue your ass!" I shouted after her. That felt right, too. But the heaviness of the news I'd just received—the full brunt of the shock—was just beginning to settle on me, dampening my spirits like a clinging fog.
Here's the irony of it all—I don't even have cancer. Not exactly, anyway.
I've got it much worse.
I'm about to be shipped back to Pandora.
* * *
"Broken."
The two men stood side by side, watching the feed close for the night.
"Fucking useless," amended the other. "Hell, can he even walk anymore?"
A noncommittal shrug from the first. "Well, if he can, it will be a fucking miracle."
"Perhaps."
Silence for awhile.
"He won't last two minutes."
"Won't last two seconds," agreed the other. The first turned away.
"Thank god this piece of shit assignment is over, anyway."
A nod of agreement. A whirring of motors heralded the opening and closing of several airlocks. The men stepped out, poised to leave their separate ways.
"Think it'll work out?"
"Hell no."
They left. The airlocks shut once again.
For the first time in a long time, I woke up.