I Should Have
"You know, James, you should do it right this time. This is your last chance at winning Evans," my best friend, Sirius, said with his mouth full. We're at Hogwarts Express, going to the castle for our seventh year. Neither Remus nor Peter bothered to ask him again because we understood him perfectly, being with him for years.
"He's right, James. You should quit asking her like the way you do for the past five years. If you really want her, you should win her heart properly," Remus chimed in. I sighed. They're right. For ages, I've been asking Lily out, in the most annoying ways imaginable. She just gives me three reactions. First, being furious, then shouting back at me. Second, being furious, then practicing hexes on me. And third, being furious, but acting like she didn't hear anything. I can take all her words and hexes, but I can never bear to see that she acts like I don't exist.
So now, I'm going to change my tactics.
"What if James asked you out later?" my best friend, Hestia Jones, asked.
"What kind of an idiotic question is that? And since when did you call him James?" I retorted.
"Lily, don't deny it. You like him."
"No, I do not like him, Hest," I said.
"I'm not blind, Lils," she replied, looking at me sternly. I flushed.
Oh, Merlin. I am caught.
"Ha! I knew it! You like James Potter!" she said loudly.
"Shut up!" I looked outside our compartment, but thankfully, nobody heard.
"How?" Hestia asked.
"Er... er... It started last term. He started to be... much kinder, less annoying, and more mature," I summarized. Actually, Potter helped me a lot last term. He saw me one time at a nook, crying my eyes out. I was crying because of my sister. He was there, comforting me and giving me advice. When I finally stopped crying, he said,
"If you need someone to cry on, I'm always here."
But after that moment, he just got back to his old self. Yet, I didn't stop admiring him. I'm sick, ain't I?
"Lils, we're here." Hestia's voice pulled me back to reality.
I got down the train alone, for Hestia have to find our other friends. I leaned against a wall, waiting for them.
It was then I heard his voice.
"Evans!" he shouted, and I saw him walk towards me.
Oh Gods, I am doomed.
"Evans!" I shouted the moment I've seen her red hair at the Hogsmeade Station.
"Why Potter? Going to ask me again? Merlin, the term just started!" she said with an exasperated expression.
"No, not that. I just want to say that..." I looked at her. Godric, she has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I can stare at those emerald pools forever.
"What?" she asked, her arms crossed and tapping a foot.
"You are so beautiful," I suddenly said. Gods, what made me said that? I looked at Lily.
Her face flushed as red as her hair, and she is looking down. That moment, if I didn't stop myself, I would've kissed her.
Before I can say anything, she ran away from me to her friends.
Damn! I missed it. Again. I should've grabbed that chance. I should've told her that I'm sorry, that I care about her, that I want to know her more, and that...
I love her.
Why did I run away? Why in the name of Merlin did I run away!?
I was asking myself that when I got to where Hestia, Alice, Emmeline, and Frank were waiting. I looked back, though.
He's gone.
Ugh! I should've stayed there, and talked to him. Then, I should have said the feelings I've been keeping. I should have said that despite all the things we've gone through, I admire and love him.
Love? I sighed.
"You can go back there, you know. Knowing James, he will always look back," Frank whispered.
"Thanks, Frank. Get on without me. Bye!" I waved to my friends and ran back where I came from.
Before I went back to my friends, I permitted myself a glance of her.
I turned around, and saw that she's standing where we talked earlier. I approached her again. When I got to her, something miraculous happened.
"James," she said softly. She smiled.
She said my name. My given name.
"Lily," I replied at the same tone.
"Yes," she said.
"Yes what?"
"I'm going out with you," she said, smiling brilliantly.
I'm speechless. Very speechless.
"James? James, are you okay?" Lily asked frantically, snapping her fingers in front of me. After a moment, I got my tongue back.
"Yes! Finally!" I shouted loudly, then scooped Lily and twirled around. I ignored the people staring. I put Lily down, and kissed her on the cheek. It turned red again.
"I love you, Lily Evans," I said with pure affection and sincerity.
"I love you, too, James," she replied while twining her arm on mine. As we walked, I realized that I'm extremely lucky. For I don't need to experience having many I should have's in my life now.
"Yes," I said with a smile on my face.
"Yes what?" he asked.
"I'm going out with you," I replied, smiling widely.
I waited for James to speak, shout or anything.
But nothing came out. I got alarmed.
"James? James, are you okay?" I asked while snapping my fingers in front of him.
"Yes! Finally!" he finally said. He scooped me up and twirled me around. Many people are staring, but I really don't care. He put me down and kissed me on my cheek. I flushed.
"I love you, Lily Evans," he said with gut-wrenching sincerity. It made my heart leap in happiness.
"I love you, too, James." I twined my arm in his, and we started walking.
I realized, our life can really change within minutes, or seconds, be it for better or for worse. So we should not waste time, or we will regret what we lost. You'll grow old saying your I should have's. But fortunately for me, that is not the case.