Disclaimer: This is me NOT owning Castle.

A/N: Okay, I'd like to say that this is a Christmas gift for Savannah and I have about 10 chapters already written. I'll only update once every two weeks(ish) because I now work quite a bit and it's going to be rare that I have more than one day off at a time and I do have other projects going as well. I'm trying to work out an update schedule and get all my stories going again so just bear with me for a little bit. This job takes up a lot of my time. Sav also chose the title and a lot of what's in this are ideas we shared through calls and texts. So this is me giving her a writer's credit.

Set after the engagement and she's back in NYC but goes AU after that. Short little intro chapter. Enjoy.

Panic. That's what she remembers. Absolute fear flooding through her veins, wrapping itself around her heart and squeezing so hard it ached. It still does. It's a pang in her chest as she grips the steering wheel. Lights flooding in through the windshield, brief flashes in the dark as she obeys every traffic law.

They have to get out of the city, out of the country would be even better but that's not exactly a possibility. They. He shouldn't even be in this. But he refused to let her go off alone. Threatened to tell someone. She had no choice but to bring him along and as selfish as it is, she's glad his hand is heavy and warm on her thigh, reassuring with soft strokes even though she knows this is just as terrifying for him.

"Kate,"

"Change your mind?" Her throat is tight, a lingering lump almost traps her words and they come out soft, her eyes darting to his as she waits for his reply.

"No, but...what exactly is the plan?"

"For now we need out of the city, somewhere inconspicuous enough to be safe for the night as we sort everything out and then..." She trails off, lets his mind fill in the blanks because there's no return from this. No one is going to swoop in and save the day.

They have each other and that's it. No one else and she hates that for him, hates that he's severing himself from his family because of her. Hates that they're in his sedan of mute color, blending with the traffic and taking detours of alleys, hates the way her stomach rolls at just the thought of what's happened in the last few hours.

She drained her bank account less than an hour ago, knows how that looks. And as soon as they can, she's ditching the car. That looks even worse.

Her leg is still shaking, adrenaline pumping through her blood and she feels him squeeze her thigh, feels the tremble in his hand. Something wet trails down her cheek and she hears him whisper her name but she doesn't have time. Not yet. So she swipes at her face, swallows roughly and pushes it down.

Later. Right now, they're headed south with no destination and wads of cash between them. Thousands. It could keep them afloat for a little while. He'd wanted to pull more from his accounts but she wouldn't let him. Argued with him. They had nowhere to keep it, that kind of money just asks for trouble and they're already nose deep.

"How tired are you?"

"I'm not."

"That'll wear off, we have to be smart about this. Take turns driving, we need to get several hours of highway behind us." He nods but she knows his mind is wandering. "Castle, I need you to sleep."

"I don't know if I can."

"Try, okay? Listen to the radio if you need to." She could use the distraction too but her brain is still screaming. Her mind protesting with everything it has. No distractions. Distractions will get them killed. "We're going to have to find a different car soon, I need you alert for that."

"You mean we're stealing cars now?"

"No, I mean...I – I hate this but yeah, that's a possibility or swapping plates. Both illegal." She catches his eyes, sees them soften as his hand moves from her thigh, fingers raising to brush her hair out of her face.

She hasn't even showered. Part of her knows she cleaned up as well as she could, blood soaked clothes in a bag in the backseat, but she still cringes, knows there's dried blood in the ends of her hair. And it breaks her heart that he's touching her as if everything will be okay.

Nothing about this is okay.

"I know how you feel -"

"No you don't." It's a snap in her control, her voice harsh and cold before she can stop herself. Silence settles, guilt kicks in and she shakes her head. "I wouldn't want you to."

"We just left everything we love, everything we're used to and I still don't know exactly why, so maybe you're right. Maybe I don't know what you're feeling but if it's fear, if it's disbelief because this hasn't settled in then I think we're on the same page."

"I didn't ask you to come."

"I'm not about to leave my fiancee to the wolves, Kate. I love you and even if -"

"I didn't do it, I don't remember what happened but I did not do this." The road blurs, tears filling her eyes and his fingers are back to her thigh, curling around and squeezing until she remembers to take a breath. "But evidence will say otherwise and I can't prove that I didn't if I'm locked up."

"And that's why I'm here. We're partners."

"Alexis..."

"You said we'd get a phone, that I could call and we'll figure this out. We'll get to go home." It isn't reassuring at all because she knows the odds. She's been fighting them for years.

The city she grew up in may never be home again. And that hurts. Her boys are there, her father, Lanie, Martha and Alexis. Everyone is back in New York City and she's just dragged Castle into a mess that might end with them both dead or behind bars.

"Sleep, Castle. I'll drive for a couple hours before we -"

"Steal a car? Add to our rap sheet?" It's a halfhearted attempt to lighten the mood and it falls flat but at least he's trying so she gives him a wavering smile that doesn't meet her eyes, turns to watch the road stretch out in front of them.

"Well you can always say it's just research for your next book." A book that he won't be able to publish. She curses herself for even mentioning it, can feel him deflate in the passenger seat. She's an idiot. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize. It's my choice."

"Thanks...for coming. Even if you're a complete moron for doing so." She hears him snort out a laugh. Something she hasn't heard for hours. "Partners?"

"Partners." And with that promise he closes his eyes, settles back in the seat but she can hear his foot twitching, knows he won't be able to drift off. Too much happening at once.

Neither of them are going to sleep for days. Constantly looking over shoulder, waiting for flashing lights or something worse.

She turns on the radio just for him, puts it on his favorite station but even after an hour, he's still sighing, muscles tense and his stomach growls every few minutes.

This is life now. On the run. Hungry and fearful to even stop for a bite to eat. And she can't even remember how everything became so fucked up.

She's a cop. Was a cop. But her badge is useless now, her weapon strapped to her hip and at the ready. A cop. The one thing she's good at, the hope and justice she could bring to others. The justice she never got. And it's gone. Because now she's wanted for murder – of a senator.