DISCLAIMER: These seem to be mandatory now-a-days! I clearly own nothing HP related and the song is from the [fabulous!] musical, Wicked.
I have to apologize-- my summaries tend to be terrible and not at all indicative of the real story, but please enjoy and review!
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man at the age of puberty onward thinks of sex hundreds of times a day. It is equally acknowledged that women of the same or greater age know this about men… and therefore enjoy the subtle art of teasing. In all of my years teaching I have never seen a student more adept at making the male hearts race than a fifth year student of mine named Alana.
For as brilliant as she was, it was not her greatest attribute. While she could ace a test or write an essay without much strain, she was easily the most beautiful student to grace the halls of Hogwarts in at least two decades. Long flowing amber hair, piercing green eyes and a willowy frame, she entranced every male pupil in the building—as well as many of my fellow educators. Along with her brains and her beauty she had a final overpowering ability: manipulation. These powers were far beyond that of a fifth-year witch. In the rare cases in which she didn't get her way, she was so sour that she would win regardless. I found her unpleasant because of this characteristic. A brilliant student, yes, but not one I generally allowed within my office after class time, nor did I converse with her greatly outside of class.
It isn't a wonder, though, to see how she had all the boys in raptures. She was brilliant and gorgeous and got her way. Always. So when fifth year came and the house classes started to be mixed more by subject aptitude and desire and less by class, Alana was in for a surprising shock. Cedric Diggory was her equal in many ways. He was handsome and smart but rather than manipulative, he was charming and kind. He went out of his way for others, much the opposite of Alana. He was good to her, and polite—much as she was used to from other men—but he didn't bend over backwards for her.
I sat them together in class, as they were the only ones from their respective houses—Hufflepuff and Slytherin—in my fifth-year class as an experiment of sorts. They were civil together and worked relatively well in close quarters. But I watched carefully, noticing her distain when he didn't fall for her tricks and pulls. He would pull away from her touch without as much as a hesitation. He simply shrugged at her in some instances, only serving to further infuriate her. Each lesson she'd try something different and he'd always disappoint her.
Funnily enough, I'd go as far as to say they were each other's greatest influences. Alana spent each class challenged to make him notice her, to be better than him and to win. And Cedric spent each class equally challenged on the same levels, but also striving to settle her; to make her understand that their companionship would not always be about winning and losing but about pushing each other and success.
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
"Cedric Diggory is the most infuriating, idiotic person I've ever met in my entire life. He's arrogant and self-assured and he thinks that he is so much more important than everyone else in the castle. He struts around this place and flaunts how handsome he is and I just can't stand him." Alana tossed her hair over her shoulder and looked up at her classmate Renee in disgust. Renee rolled her eyes and Alana snapped again, "what?"
"You like him," Renee went back to her Potions essay without acknowledging Alana's look of revulsion.
Alana scoffed, "you're ridiculous. I can't stand him."
"And yet, you like him. This is the third time today that he has somehow come up in conversation. You're being naive.
Alana slammed her books closed and stormed out of the common room. She followed the corridors from deep below in the dungeon up to the library and found a table in the back, away from most of the groups of studiers. Everyone had just returned from Christmas Holiday and were settling back into the work load the professors had set—but still had enough free time to goof around. Ever the dutiful student, Alana was determined to get her work finished before the night was over.
However, her mind wandered as she tried to read through her Potions textbook, searching for answers to Snape's essay. She flipped through the pages and a piece of parchment fell out; opening it she saw Cedric's script alongside hers—it was a piece of scratch paper they had used for another class together to write swift notes back and forth. She'd hastily shoved it into her bag as they left class just before break and Alana couldn't help smiling at it briefly.
"How was your holiday, Alana?" Her head snapped up in shock and she shoved the parchment back into her bag again, looking at Cedric and fixing a neutral look on her face.
"Fine, and you?"
"It's always good to get home to see my parents. Do you mind if I join you? It's quieter back here."
She hesitated, glancing quickly at the parchment she'd just shoved into her bag and thinking of the way her heart raced when she'd heard his voice. She shrugged, "if you must." He smiled at her warily and started unloading his bag, getting settled across from her.
A few minutes of sitting in silence, Cedric shifted under the table and his foot inadvertently kicked Alana. She shot a glare in his direction and he sighed, "you know I didn't mean that."
"You should be more careful," she retorted, returning to her essay. He continued to stare at her and she finally felt the weight of his glare, "what?"
He shook his head and muttered, "nothing," quietly.
"No, what?" She snapped.
Cedric looked up at her carefully, "why are you so different to me?"
She was taken aback but carefully held her face from making her surprise apparent, "what is that supposed to mean?"
He shrugged, "when I first met you, you were so sweet and polite. And I see you around the castle. You're ever so sly and you never seem displeased. But you're almost never kind to me. Have I offended you?"
Alana groaned, "You sound ridiculously pathetic."
"That too—you avoid everything I ask and you instead make some snide remark. I don't understand. Frankly, I'm sick of your shit."
Shock colored her face before she could manage to stop it and she stared at him, "pardon me?"
"I'm tired of being nice to you if you're just going to be a bitch," his tone darkened and he glowered at her across the table, shoving his books hurriedly back in his bag. "You're stunning but you're never going to get anywhere treating people the way you do." He left the library without another word.
Alana sat quietly, still surprised before shifting swiftly into annoyance. She quickly gathered her books and followed Cedric's path out of the library, finding him only a short way ahead of her, chatting with Professor Flitwick.
"Cedric," she called quietly, approaching the two. She turned to the professor and offered a soft smile, "I'm sorry to interrupt but may I speak with Cedric?"
"Certainly, Miss Fox. Goodnight, Cedric."
"What," Cedric asked, staring at her sharply.
She hesitated a moment and then began, "what gives you the right to be so rude to me?"
He laughed, "rude? Me? Seriously, Alana get a grip. You're so full of yourself you can't even see how you act?"
She threw her hands on her hips, "I am not rude! I'm frustrated by you!"
He cocked his head and continued to stare at her, "what does that mean?"
"You don't listen to me. You're not fooled by me."
"Fooled by what?"
"I'm not—I just—I don't get to—"Alana sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, "I don't know."
They stared at each other for a few minutes, and then he spoke, "I think I do. I think you don't like that I see you."
"What on Earth does that even mean?"
"It means you're not the pretty, sexy girl to me."
She felt herself blush unwillingly, "what?"
"I see the way the rest of the boys look at you. You're used to being the beautiful girl but I make you work. I don't let you get away with things just because you're gorgeous. I know how smart you are and it makes you mad that I don't let you have your way because I want you to be more than pretty. You could rule the wizarding world with your looks alone but if you combined your brains and your smarts, Merlin knows what you could do."
Alana stared at him in combination of horror and adoration. She didn't want him to know that he'd spoken exactly what she was feeling. She was too proud to admit that he was right—he'd read her like a book.
He moved before she could. Took a hesitant step forward keeping steady eye contact and then pulled her close and kissed her hard in one swift movement before she could protest. Even if she wanted to object, she couldn't.
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good.
Alana sat in the Quidditch stands long after the crowd departed. She was supposed to be back in the dormitory listening to Snape give a speech about the dangers of being out at 'times like these'. But no one had moved her. Everyone had been in such a rush to get out of the pitch and away from the maze and the destruction that seeing the stunned, teary-eyed girl in the stands hadn't been important—everyone moved passed her thinking someone else would budge her along. But no one did. She knew eventually someone would come looking for her but she just couldn't move.
She'd been staring at the spot that Harry and Cedric had reappeared for almost an hour still in silent disbelief. Cedric, her Cedric, was now a lifeless mass somewhere on the castle grounds. He'd never reach for her hand again—although he hadn't done that in quite some time. Their romance had been over for months now but Alana hadn't been convinced it was the end for them.
Fifth-year they'd started their quiet trysts in the obscure grounds of the castle, trying to remain unnoticed. Slowly, however, they realized that it wasn't going to be just a secret fling. Gradually, Cedric would reach for her hand when they were waiting outside of class. They'd share knowing looks across the Great Hall. Then soon, he'd chastely peck her on the cheek when they passed in the halls. Before long they dropped the secrecy all together. Hogwarts was alight with gossip about the brawny Hufflepuff and the allusive Slytherin together; completely unheard of for two such house members to be romantically involved. But nonetheless, they were and they were inseparable.
As spring gradually came that fifth-year, finding places to have some privacy became more prevalent with the entirety of the grounds at their disposal. They'd get lost in the quiet corners near the lake, enjoying the sun and each other's company. As summer holiday came quickly, Alana and Cedric never faltered; their homes were close enough to be able to be together regularly—and they were.
Sitting in the now-dark stands of the pitch, Alana's mind wandered to night towards the end of their summer together—they'd met in their normal place; Alana's parents had acres of land handed down for generations from her father's side of the family and in the far corner of their property was a tiny house formerly for servants to the family estate. As a child, her parents had allowed her to use it for a playhouse and into her teen years they continued to comply as it became a place of privacy—and a place that would get Alana out of their hair altogether.
That night, Cedric had arrived seeming normal and pleasant but grew antsy and nervous throughout their evening. After much prodding from Alana, he finally showed her his qualms. He'd carefully reached up and brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her gently, his hand grasping hers in her lap. Hands shaking he pulled her into his lap and held her tightly, one hand grazing slowly up her leg and under her skirt. She pulled away quickly in surprise but he held her in place and ever so slightly she eased into him. Alana trusted him completely in the end and new he'd never push her if she wasn't ready. But she was. She knew that if she was going to have sex it was going to be with Cedric for the first time. There was no one more perfect for either of them.
The summer had been perfect and equally perfect was the fall. The night they had shared together—and many more like it, had made them crazier about each other. The fall was perfect and loving and warm with Cedric. One evening, though, they found themselves on the grounds, embracing the last bits of sun for the year, and in a horrendous fight. It was the type of fight you don't even remember; neither party even knew how it got started. But it ended with Alana on the verge of tears but refusing, absolutely refusing, to let him see her cry. So instead she stormed back to her common room refusing to talk to him over the following days. And her anger grew when he didn't push her. It was unlike him to let her get away with such pettiness. But he did. He was letting her have her space. But to Alana, it seemed like she was getting pushed away, unwanted. Their fight swelled and he approached her one evening, asking her to accompany him to the Yule Ball. In a fury, she denied him, leaving him standing in the Entrance Hall rejected in front of most of the school.
So he'd asked Cho. Alana knew he had every right to—he was a champion and couldn't be dateless. And the girl he loved had denied him. But it didn't hurt less. So Alana had gone home for the Christmas Holiday instead of attending the Yule Ball. She didn't open any of the letters Cedric sent her. Her pride overpowering her heart. Soon it was evident that Cho and Cedric were a couple and it only fueled Alana, sending her into the arms of a seventh year Slytherin to make him jealous. It worked. They could hardly be in a room together without starting a fight.
And Alana had spent the year miserable. She had done it to herself and she couldn't take it back, her stubborn pride wouldn't allow her to admit that she'd blown it out of proportion and was lonely and unhappy without him.
Cedric, equally miserable, wrote her every night and left it for her on her Charms seat. And every day he'd watch her pick it up and put it in her bag without another glance. He finally gave up, settling into Cho's arms each night and trying his best not to think about Alana. The more she rejected his efforts, the more he wanted her. The more he pushed her. He knew pushing wasn't the right way to reach her, but he couldn't help it. He knew then as a sixth-year that he'd spend his life with Alana, not Cho or any other girl, but his stubborn, beautiful Alana.
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore
For the first time she could remember, Alana let people see her cry. She walked into the Slytherin common room fully sobbing, feeling the weight of her broken heart in her chest. She hated herself for pushing him away and now he was gone. She'd never have the chance to push him again, even if she wanted to.
When the school gathered in the Great Hall the next morning, the black drapery only perpetuated her tears. Alana had cried herself to sleep that night and woke up in tears again, hoping the whole ordeal had been a terrible dream and that she'd go down to breakfast this morning and be able to kiss Cedric soundly and apologize for her stupidity. But reality settled and she knew the truth. She knew she'd lost him. Dumbledore gave his homage to Cedric's life and death and she quietly sobbed throughout.
She was surprised to see so many people staring at her during the morning. Cho had people surrounding her and her sorrows but Alana noticed most of the hall cast sympathetic glances in her directly. The entire castle new that they were meant to be. The entire castle knew that they'd challenged each other and pushed each other and fallen in love. It only broke her heart more to see what she'd so stupidly given up. Even if she couldn't change the course of fate, she could've been the one to kiss Cedric good luck before he entered the impending maze. Instead she watched sorrowfully from the stands as Cho hugged him and giggled when he pecked her quickly. Alana hadn't missed it though—he'd taken a moment to find her in the stands and smile at her. She hadn't budged a smile but only stared back at him.
Leaving the Great Hall several people came to her and offered condolences and soft touches. Surprising even herself Alana was more gracious than usual. A quiet, younger student approached her last with something in her hand.
"Alana," she said softly, "I found this with some of Cedric's books in the common room this morning. I thought you should have it." She reached out the parchment with Alana's name clearly written in Cedric's hand. Without a word she took it from the girl, smiling and forcing a quick 'thank you' to the girl's retreating figure.
She bypassed the common room and went straight for her dormitory, crawling under the covers and staring at Cedric's handwriting. He hadn't written to her in months and she'd never opened any of the other letters. They all sat in her trunk and she refused to touch them now, but she couldn't get rid of them. With shaking fingers, Alana unfolded the letter…
Dear Alana,
Knowing you my other letters have gone completely untouched but I have to try again. Tomorrow is the final task of this blasted tournament and I have to tell you that I wish for nothing more than you as a prize. I can picture your face and hear you calling me a chauvinist but I don't care. I miss your touch and your kiss and your wisdom. No matter what, you always knew how to calm my nerves and put a smile on my face. I'll always love that about you.
I don't know if we'll ever get beyond this but I can only dream. I love you more than anything. It breaks my heart to look at you. I know you're lonely just like I am but I can't seem to make you see how much I care for you.
Please, love, promise me that we'll be together some day. I love you more than words can describe and I'm so thankful for the way that you have changed and inspired my life. I know that I'll make you my wife someday and I'll be the happiest person alive. You are my world. Even if I cannot hold you tonight and kiss you before I compete tomorrow, know that I love you and I'm waiting for the day we'll be together again.
Love, Cedric
Alana stared at the letter with a mixture of emotions. Her heart raced for a brief moment as she moved to get out of bed and rush down to the Hufflepuff's entrance. As quickly as it had started, however, it stopped when the last house came rushing back to her. She had no more tears to cry. She sat and reread the letter over and over again; dry sobs making her whole body ache, until she fell asleep.
She knew that throughout her life, she would never meet another Cedric Diggory and she never wanted to. Her life was better and good because he'd been in it.
Like a comet pulled Like a ship blown
From orbit as it off it's mooring
Passes a sun, like By a wind off the
A stream that meets Sea, like a seed
A boulder, half-way Dropped by a
Through the wood Bird in the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better?
And because I knew you:
I have been changed for good.