Dear Sasuke
By An Angel In Tears
A/N I could not resist not doing this fanfic. I mean, it has reader involvement, and I believe that this will be fun to write. Please enjoy, and offer me some advice.
Disclaimer: I will never own Naruto. Which is sort of a good thing because it would never be updated anyways.
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Dear Sasuke,
The boy I like ignored me when I told him that I liked him in a crush sort of way, and now he's acting like nothing has happened. What have I done wrong?
From Confused
Dear Confused,
With the way you're talking, you sound like some stalker or something. Who does like fan girl type stalkers? Nobody, so stop drooling over him since he's probably too good for you. Leave him alone, and then you might have a chance with him. Or he'll just continue ignoring you. Stay out of his way, and there's the tiniest chance he'll return your feelings. Loser.
Sasuke
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Dear Sasuke,
My younger sibling is making my life a living hell, but my father say that I should ignore her because she's only young and immature. Problem is that she's using that to her advantage. I can't live with her, and I don't want to be impatient with her. What should I do?
From Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Can't you think of a better name to use other than 'Anonymous'? God, and you wonder why your little sister picks on you. Anyways the solution is really simple as well, which makes me wonder if you're really stupid, or not a violent person. Beat the crap out of your sister, then she'll stop bullying you. You'd never make a good shinobi if you're getting beaten up by your little sister though. Weakling.
Sasuke
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Dear Sasuke,
I've been getting into trouble lately for being 'too nice' to others, and it's really getting me down. There's no such thing as being 'too nice' after all, is there?
From Boy.
Dear Boy,
You're not really a boy, are you? If you are, then that's pathetic when you're running around being too nice. Stop being nice. Kick some guys in the… actually, don't. Beat some people, try to kill some people, and then act emo. People will stop seeing you as nice. It works.
Sasuke
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Dear Sasuke-teme,
Why the hell did you run off to live with snake-pervert?
From BLANK
Dear BLANK
I know you're Naruto.
Sasuke
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Dear Sasuke,
One of my friends has sort of betrayed me. I thought I could trust them, but then they've went and hurt a lot of people and it's all my fault. Help?
From Bad Friend
Dear Bad Friend,
I can't help but laugh at you. It's all your fault and you should try and make it up. Kick their ass, and show this 'friend' that you can't be taken lightly. If they're stronger than you, then tough luck. Train more, because you're probably a weak person.
Sasuke
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Dear Sasuke,
I think I'm in love with someone who's the same gender of me. You're gay, aren't you? What should I do?
From Emotional
Dear Emotional
I am not gay. I just have homosexual tendencies, thank you very much. Anyways, ignore the feelings. That's what I did.
…Crap.
Sasuke
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Dear Sasuke,
My family all think I'm anorexic because I don't eat as much as them. I just have a small stomach, and I don't intend on being fat. Help?
From Not-Anorexic
Dear Not-Anorexic
Ignore them. They're jealous of your body. And the fact that you're probably fit, in the running and fighting type way. Not the attractiveness way, because really anorexic girls usually aren't. But, you should go and see a psychiatrist or something because you might just have a underlying mental condition that makes you think that you're fat, and then causes you to eat less.
Sasuke
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Dear Sasuke,
I… slept with a boy and now I keep being sick in the morning and I'm starting to put on weight. What does this mean?
From Scared
Dear Scared,
You probably have a STD or something. Go and see a doctor. Also, stop sleeping around, because it makes you sound like a whore.
Sasuke
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Dear Sasuke,
I have an urge to steal random things. I've stolen erasers, pens and knives mainly. What can I do to stop doing this, because it's starting to scare me a little now.
From Give me your Pens
Dear Give me your Pens,
You're probably pretending about this problem so I'll reply to you. You're probably a random fan girl or something. Go kill yourself.
But, if the problem is genuine, chop your hands off or something with one of the knives you've stolen. Or gouge your eyes out with one of the pens, and stuff the erasers in the sockets. That should help you stop.
Sasuke
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A/N Well there we have the first chapter finished. It's pretty bad because I had to invent all of the problems myself and it's weird answering my own made-up problems as Sasuke. So, leave a review. Especially if you want to see one of your problems answered by Sasuke.
Ja Ne.