Author's Note: This is just a little spin off based mostly on In Heat, towards the end of season 3.
This is dedicated to Potion, who has quickly become one of my favorite people. You always know just what to say, even if its only about a toaster.
It was buried somewhere in the way she kissed you, the reason you hadn't given her up.
You know you're just being greedy, having your cake and eating it too, but its your parents who want Will. You want her. But if you told them you were falling in love with a woman, they would be even more disappointed in you than they were when you joined the academy. And you don't know if you can survive that all over again. They'd lost one daughter, and you didn't want to take another away from them.
So you stayed "dating" Will, and fucking Emily.
Yeah, the sex with him was okay. But by okay you mean something you've grown accustomed to, that usually lasts around five, maybe ten minutes, if he wants to try to engage you in foreplay. But mainly, he was just a means to an end: her parents' happiness.
When it came to sex, Emily was the master. She would go down to the desk in the hotels you stayed in and claim she was sleeping in your room, and had misplaced her key, and she'd sneak in and you'd wake up to her mouth, hot and wet on your neck, her hands busy slipping under your shirt. And when she didn't have to sneak into your room at night, it was even better. When you didn't have paper thin hotel walls keeping you quiet, she had her name falling from your lips the second she was touching you. But your parents would die if they knew that.
He surprised you once, by showing up while you were working. You hated him in that moment. You had nothing to yourself anymore. And you reacted. You pushed him away, and hoped he got the subtle message that you didn't want him anymore.
You would have let him keep walking away. You would have given up your parents' dreams for you if she had only asked. You would have let him walk right out of your life and never thought twice about it. For her. But then she'd broken your heart. Torn it into tiny, bite size pieces and devoured it with her words.
"You should go for him. You'd make a cute couple."
So you ran after him. Made up some stupid story about why you'd faltered, and then shoved your tongue down his throat. And you shudder, not from the kiss, nor from his hands roaming up your back. He doesn't faze you. You shudder because you can feel her eyes on you. You know she's watching, so you pull him closer, trying to piss her off. And suddenly, you don't feel her eyes on you anymore. So you pull away and look through the glass towards where she used to be, and you realize that she has walked away.
It takes every ounce of will power (ha. You laugh at the irony of it being called that.) you have not to rip your hand out of his and run after her. Pull her into your arms and prove to her that you want her and only her for the rest of your life. Prove to her that you can be everything she needs. But you can't. So you don't. You walk out with Will and head back to the hotel, knowing he's going to want to touch you, and you're going to have to close your eyes and pretend that this is all you've ever wanted when in reality its the thing that makes you sickest.
A/N: So...Review and let me know just how repulsive Will is. That episode "In Heat" totally killed me for like...a week.