I wrote this fic a long time ago, but just now decided that I should really rewrite it so that it was worth reading, since last time I wrote it, I wasn't very good with words. Funny that I should rewrite it today of all days too. Today is the Chinese new year, and is even the year of the Rat, like me! w00t! Hehe...though this fic is about western astrology, not eastern, but oh well. Close enough.

Anyway, the original fic is still in my profile if you want to read it for comparison, though I don't recommend reading it for the sake of reading the story, because it really isn't very well written. It would be better to wait for the updates from this one. Also, sorry to those who have been waiting an eternity for me to update "My Body, Your Soul-Revised". I was a better writer then than when I had first written that story, but I was sabotaging my efforts by thinking that to be a better writer, I needed to be as wordy as possible. ((shakes head)) I've learned my lesson. I only need about 2,000 words per chapter for it to be enough, they just have to be well written words. I'll revise that revision sooner or later, hehehe. Also note that in this version, I decided to write all the characters' names and towns as I actually believe the original intent was, not the way they ended up getting interpreted. Therefore, Riza is Liza, Risembool is Reisenburgh, and so on. Should be an interesting twist, no? Hehe

In any case, I hope you all enjoy this revision!

Disclaimer: The little voices in my head say that I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, but I'm not sure if I believe them or not.

Ed sighed as he walked up towards the door which spelled doom in his mind. "Time for another funloving day with the egotistical (beep) Colonel. I'm your host, Roy smart(beep)." Ed grinned mischievously at Al for a brief moment, as though to gauge a reaction, but the armor refused to budge. Ed leaned forward and sighed. It was no use. The Colonel was going to give him heck whether he made light of the situation or not, and Al certainly wasn't going to support him. He might as well just get this over with, before Al decided to lay more guilt trips on him.

"Okay, Al, I'm going in to talk to Colonel whatzit, so you wait out here." Al nodded and Ed took a step toward the Colonel's room, when he suddenly stopped and turned around to face his brother again. "Oh, and Al...if you hear any sort of screaming in there...don't send for help unless you can tell it's my screaming." Ed then rubbed his hands as though concocting a master plot and turned back towards Colonel Mustang's office. He knew that Al wouldn't take him seriously on such a threat, but it was fun to watch the reactions. Al surely would have rolled his eyes at that joke had he been in human form.

Ed slammed open the Colonel's door. "Okay, Colonel (beep), I came running like a good little pup once you called me, so this had better be worth my time."

Colonel Mustang half chuckled, but quickly wiped the expression off of his face. "Hm? I think an ant just crawled into my office. Maybe I should squish it."

Ed clenched his fists and growled. He was so going to get even with that man one of these days, if only he could figure out how. "Must you always refer to my height when you call me here?"

The Colonel cocked an eyebrow and looked up at the boy. "Must you always replace my name with a curse word whenever I call you here?"

"Fine!" Ed said, and waved his hand at the man to try and brush the uncomfortable subject off of him, "Just tell me what you want me to do so we can get out of each other's presence!"

"Aw, but I'm not done teasing you yet!" said the Colonel with a look of mischief in his eyes. Ed continued to glare, so the Colonel simply smiled and reached for a folder, which he promptly handed to Ed. "This is a highly unusual mission. I chose you to carry it out because you are an oddball in every sense of the word."

Ed took the folder from the Colonel and then put his spare hand on his hip. "Should I take that as a compliment or an insult?"

The Colonel shrugged. "Whichever you choose it to be, shorty." Ed was about to blow at the mention of such a heinous word, but the Colonel quickly moved on to his next topic before Ed had time to react properly. "This mission might seem stupid to you at first glance, but don't underestimate it." The man then leaned back in his chair and looked under his desk, seeming to take delight in something he had stored under there, out of sight of anyone else. He kicked at whatever it was a couple times and then looked back up at Ed.

"You may leave now, Fullmetal. All the information you need is in that packet."

Ed nodded and then left the room, cursing under his breath.

As soon as the door was safely closed, Colonel Mustang smiled wickedly and then transformed into Envy. He snickered at the success of his little trick and looked down underneath his desk once more, where a black-haired man lay, tied up and gagged and obviously repeatedly kicked.

"See what I told you, Colonel? The Fullmetal shorty isn't as smart as you give him credit for. He didn't even realize that I was sending him on a suicide mission." The homunculus then stood up and then transformed into some other military officer as he walked across the room. "So long, Colonel," he said, "Good luck in getting out of this situation." He then opened the door and left the room.

"I can't sense them, Ms. Aries. I apologize," said a blue-clad woman, sitting calmly on a stone in a clearing somewhere out in the woods. Her dress swayed lightly in the breeze and made her shudder just slightly, but it wasn't really that cold.

"You're lying," said the other woman, standing over her.

"No!" said the first woman, nervously, "No, I'm telling the truth! They're off my radar, I swear it!"

The second woman's eyes produced something of a spark behind them, as though a fire was kindled from within. Her face took a determined stance, and she stepped towards the woman in the blue dress. "If you won't talk willingly, I have my ways of convincing you." Without another word, she grabbed a hold of the back of the woman's neck and her face took on the expression of a scowl.

The first woman tossed her head back and screamed. Tears began running down her face. "Please, Ms. Aries!" She gasped for breath and cried again. "They-They've just started moving. They'll find us soon, I swear!"

The second woman threw the first down to the ground and grinned wickedly. "Very good. Thank you, Pisces, that was all I wanted to hear." She turned away from the woman who was still struggling on the ground to regain her breath and said, "What was so hard about that?"

The woman named Pisces wheezed a bit more and then rubbed her head as though trying to ease the pain. "Please, Ms. Aries...please stop this!"

Aries whipped around and glared at the woman with her fiery eyes. "In case you've forgotten your origins, Ms. Pisces, we are the signs of the zodiac. We are meant to be united, and I call the shots here!" She didn't say anything else as she spun back around and walked away to attend to some other business.

Pisces struggled to her feet, still feeling quite awkward from the attack she had gotten from the other woman. She hated that woman. If only there was a way to knock her down off her pedestal. She pressed her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes tightly, hoping for the pain to subside.

Suddenly she snapped her eyes back open. Of course there was a way. What could fire hope to compete against water? "If I can find Scorpio and Cancer before she does," said Pisces to herself, "The three of us can unite and collectively overthrow that woman." She sighed an almost happy sigh. It was the first time in a long time that she had been able to feel almost happy, but the thought of freedom was elating.

Now, how was she to track the other two signs down? They were fellow water signs, as she was, so they would naturally be attracted to their native element. That ought to make things a bit simpler. The fact that she also possessed the most psychic ability of anyone in the zodiac circle gave her a high advantage.

She brought her hand down from her forehead and laughed. The pain was subsiding now, and her clarity of thought was beginning to return. She closed her eyes as she imagined a part of her rising up into the clouds. The next thing she knew, a drop of rain water had fallen upon her, followed closely by another, and another. It wasn't long before a small shower of rain was falling all around her. She smiled and reached her hand up into the oncoming rain, allowing it to replenish and revitalize her. "I declare this day," she said, "To be the first day of my freedom!" She then laughed again and took off running through the rain.

Knock Knock. "Colonel?" No response. That was odd. She was sure the man must be in his room. She knocked again. "Sir, may I come in?" There was still no response. This seemed so wrong somehow. Regardless of whether she was invited or not, she didn't feel right about leaving without investigating the cause of the Colonel's silence. The woman pushed open the door and stepped in.

"Colonel?" she said, taking a sweep of the room with her eyes, and still seeing nothing. Suddenly she heard a slam from beneath the desk followed by what sounded like a very muffled moan. Without wasting time, the woman drew her gun and rushed over to the other side of the desk to investigate.

When she saw what was under the desk waiting for her, she almost dropped her gun. "Colonel? How did-?" She shook her head. It was most important to solve the problem first, and then she could feel free to ask questions. She knelt down next to the tied up man and carefully untied the knots and removed the gag from the man's mouth.

As soon as he was free, the Colonel sat up slowly and rubbed his joints where the robes had tied him up to try and relieve some of the sting and coax the blood to start flowing back into those parts. "Thank you, Lieutenant," he said, bowing his head in obvious humiliation at having been caught in such a position.

Liza Hawkeye leaned down and grabbed the man by his arm and pulled him up so that he wouldn't have to remain in such an undignified position on the floor. "Now, what happened to get you in that situation, sir?" she said.

"One word," said Roy as he brushed his clothes off to try and regain a little bit of dignity, "Envy."

Liza blinked. "The homunculus, sir?"

"The same," said Roy, turning to Liza with a concerned look on his face, "He tricked Fullmetal into going on a dangerous mission by pretending to be me."

Liza stared straight ahead, not quite sure what to say. Roy took his chance and walked over to the rack where he hung his coat and hat and promptly put them on. "Looks like a good day to go for a drive, wouldn't you think?"

"But sir-" Liza objected.

Roy waved her off. "Abandoning my paperwork? Maybe, but abandoning my true work, not at all." He sighed and turned around to face the woman directly. "Fullmetal's life is on the line. He wouldn't have even agreed to this mission had his father always been honest with him, but regretting the past won't change anything."

"I'm with you, sir," said the woman, sheathing her gun. "Tell me how I can be of assistance."