It was happening again and Hashirama couldn't ignore it, this time. It began a week ago, already, and it was hurting him so much but he kept it for himself, thinking it would stop. However, it didn't stop, it even became worse, as time passed and, that night, it was the one time too many.

Because, like every night, since a week or so, Madara was getting up from their bed in the middle of the night and leaving the house without a word, not even leaving him a note about where he could be found.

Hashirama was feeling so bad about it. It had been so hard to make Madara accept to sleep against him, at night, for his friend, and lover, to accept his love and that it wasn't so bad to have a relationship. He had worked for days and days, until he finally got what he wanted. Not sex, no, that was just an occasional bonus but .. To be able to smile at Madara, and to see Madara smile back at him, sometimes, and accept his kisses and his love .. He had prayed all the gods to finally be able to do it and for Madara to stop pushing him away.. And he had done everything to make sure Madara was feeling comfortable around him, trying not to embarrass him, not to flustered him as Madara hated it ..

But now, Madara was leaving him, without a word and Hashirama couldn't help but think it was his fault. He surely did something wrong with him, something to make Madara really uncomfortable, hence his need to go away from him.

Because, it didn't only happened at night. No, it was worse than that. Even during the day, Madara had taken the habit of just disappearing, without a warning, and coming back just like that, like nothing happened. Hashirama had tried to ask about it, to ask him what he was doing during this time but it was useless. The Uchiha was stubborn and wouldn't say a word about it.

So, Hashirama tried other means. He tried to sense Madara's chakra around the town but Madara wasn't stupid and, as a shinobi, knew well how to hide himself, even from him. Then, he tried to follow him, but, once again, Madara easily slipped out of his view and couldn't be found again ..

However, tonight was different. Hashirama really wanted to know what was happening because his doubts were beginning to wear him out. He couldn't stop thinking about it, that maybe Madara didn't like him anymore, that he wanted to leave the village .. It was stupid to think so, Madara loved Konoha .. Or did he ? There was always that little voice, in the back of his mind, reminding him that Madara wasn't easy to tame, that sooner or later, he'd leave, just like that and never return .. But Hashirama couldn't believe it. Maybe he was just blind, because of his love, but he knew his friend. Madara would never do something like that ..

Maybe he had a lover ? It was hard to believe that Madara could actually enjoy intimacy with someone else, as the Uchiha could barely stay naked when they were together. He was so .. sensible, about his body that Hashirama took the habit to never fully undress the other. It even was kind of erotic, when he was above Madara, making love to him, to see Madara still wearing a haori. To see its sleeves slid against his skin as he was lifting his arms to grip his hair, to see him push up his shirt, just to feel their belly touching, rubbing against each other as they couldn't breath properly anymore ..

To think of Madara with another man was stupid. Madara wasn't interested in those things, never had been and every days, Hashirama was wondering what made him change his mind with him but he wasn't going to complain. It was so .. amazing, to share those moments with the Uchiha that he was scared of doing something that could make Madara fly away from him.

So, what was it ? What could Madara possibly do, when he was leaving, when he was disappearing from Konoha ?

Tonight, he was going to have his answer. He was ashamed, to use such a disgusting way to spy on his boyfriend, because he knew he had to trust Madara, but he was restless and needed to know.

That's why, while Madara was pretending to sleep, rolled in his covers, Hashirama had hugged him, kissing his neck to distract the other as he was using his mokuton to place a seed on Madara's hair. It was tiny, and couldn't be discovered by anyone else, but it would lead him to the other man. It was a technique he used, back then, to track targets and keep an eye on enemies and he was ashamed to actually use it on Madara but he had no other choice, if he wanted to know what the other was doing during those nights, and days.

Waiting for Madara to leave the house, Hashirama got up, strange taste in the mouth as he thought, again, about how wrong it was to spy on the other and put his clothes on, before slipping out of the house.

Madara didn't seem to be really in a rush. He was walking calmly in the streets, in no special direction and Hashirama didn't have a hard time following him. The seed really was helping, and he should have had this idea earlier. He was so stupid, so fucking stupid sometimes but he never had been really clever when with Madara. To his friend's frustration, that he could admit without shame but even when Madara was telling him how stupid he was, Hashirama could never stop smiling.

That game of cat and mouse last at least half an hour and Hashirama had been surprised to see Madara stop by his house and come out from it with a small bag in hand. He had taken the risk to get caught, because he really wanted to know what Madara actually did in his home but it wasn't helping. He hadn't change his clothes, or made himself prettier for someone else. He only had this bag and now, he wasn't calm anymore. He was rushing toward the exit of the village, and Hashirama had to run to keep up with the other.

So, it was outside the village .. It all happened outside Konoha. What if he was meeting with enemies .. ? To sell out the village to them ? No, no, Madara couldn't do something like that, not when he had been so invested in its foundation and protection. And Madara wasn't a traitor. He would never leave like that .. So, what the hell was in that bag .. ?

After a small run, Madara abruptly stopped and Hashirama nearly showed himself to the other, to ask him what he was doing but stopped himself as he heard Madara's voice.

"Guys, wait, there will be enough for everyone .." he said, and Hashirama could detect a strange loving tone in his voice.

From where he was, Hashirama couldn't see what the other was doing. Hidden behind a tree, and making sure he was keeping his chakra level as low as possible, he was too afraid of being discovered if he peeked at the other to see what he was doing.

But, the doubts were coming back and he felt a pang in his chest. It was stupid, really stupid to think so but .. What if Madara was having an orgy with stranger in the middle of the woods .. ? The thought made him cringe, and clench his fists and he really, really wanted to kick Madara's ass for it. Never had he thought Madara could be a slut, as his desires were barely showing, even after days of abstinence. His mind was running wild, as he imagined Madara having sex with not only one, but several men, with cocks surrounding him. And … Maybe there were women too .. ? Maybe he was fucking them hard, enjoying more their dirty pussy than him .. ?

Hashirama nearly puked, as he thought so and had to kneel, to try and breath but it was hard when those images were taking over his mind and repeating, again and again. Where did he fail with Madara ? When did he make a mistake ? He had done everything for him, and would do so much more ..

Maybe it was the last time they had sex ? Closing his eyes, Hashirama shook his head. He should have never asked. He knew that Madara didn't like that, he knew that the other didn't want to do that but he tried to make him anyway.

It was simple, really. He only asked Madara to be on top, over him.

But Madara only had two ways to have sex. The first was staying in his back, spreading his legs and letting the other do his "thing" like he said, trying to look nonchalant and emotionless about it and failing. He always ended up clinging to Hashirama, insulting him for making him feel so good, trying to harm him by scratching his back, pulling on his hair and biting. Madara loved to bite until blood was tainting Hashirama's skin.

Then, there were days when Madara was overwhelmed by his feelings and hated Hashirama for it. It wasn't love anymore, it was sex, hard and merciless. Being vaguely masochist, the Senju enjoyed when it happened, when Madara was becoming violent with him. It was like a fight, but on a bed and, usually, Madara wanted him to turn away, to take him and pin him on the ground, or any other surface they were using as a support. He wanted to choke him, to hurt him but they were never facing each other. Madara couldn't stand Hashirama's face, when he was being like that and when it was over, when they both couldn't move anymore, even to tend to their injuries, the Uchiha always said the same thing.

"I hate you, Senju" but to Hashirama, it was saying the exact opposite.

So, when he asked Madara to roll over, to sit on him and move for his own pleasure, Hashirama had known that it was risky and, in less than a second, Madara had pushed him away, telling him he didn't want to do it anymore, leaving him with his painful hard-on and going to sleep.

And now, Hashirama couldn't help but think that maybe, Madara was searching for new partners because of that only mistake. Partners that wouldn't ask him to walk out of his comfort zone, partners that would take him like he was…

"Come on, buddy, a little more .." Madara's voice forced him out of his dark thoughts and Hashirama sighed. He needed to know, he needed to see, to accept the truth and, slowly climbing on the tree he was hiding behind, Hashirama made his way on a high branch, until he was able to see Madara, but it was far from what he imagined.

There wasn't much light. The dim rays of the moon weren't enough for him to see clearly but, apparently, Madara had brought an oil lamp to light up the place. He was sitting against a tree, holding something really carefully in his arms, his thumb slowly moving and Hashirama had to narrow his eyes to finally see what was going on.

Because, Madara wasn't with other sex partners, like he thought, but he wasn't alone either. No, in his arms was squirming a cute dark little kitten and Madara was feeding him milk thanks to a gourd he transformed into a baby bottle .. Mewls could be heard and Hashirama felt stupid not to catch them earlier and, watching the scene more carefully, he spotted three other kittens in the tree trunk. It was hollow and, obviously, a mother cat got her baby there but the mother was nowhere to be found .. There were what seemed to be covers, making a comfortable nest for the kittens and Hashirama was able to recognize the haori he thought he lost, last week. It was there, acting as a cover for the litter and Hashirama smiled warmly.

So, Madara wasn't cheating on him, or betraying the village. He only was taking care of lost kittens, giving them milk and spending time with them because their mother abandoned them. It surely was the cutest thing Madara ever did and Hashirama felt his heart melt.

"I'll name you Kira .." Madara whispered to the black kitten, as he placed the gourd away and nuzzled the cat's fur to kiss it softly. "I promise, I'll find you four a house. I just have to ask Hashi .." he said, as if it was difficult for him. What was he thinking ? That the Senju wouldn't let him take in kittens ? Or maybe he wasn't comfortable with showing that soft side of himself ?

Anyway, feeling better now, and thinking that it was best if Madara never knew about how he followed him, Hashirama went back to Konoha, with a small smile on the lips and back to his bed. Madara was going to come back, that he was sure of, now and he waited until the sun was rising to go to the kitchen en prepare some tea for him and Madara, when the Uchiha was going to come back home.

And, as he was sitting at the table, to eat his breakfast, Madara finally arrived, the kittens in the arms, sleeping peacefully against him. They exchanged a look and Madara noticed something so warm, so loving in Hashirama's eyes that he forgot what he wanted to say. What has he done, again, to make Hashirama look so happy ? Because, if Hashirama was always scared of making Madara unhappy or uncomfortable, Madara was always feeling awkward when he was trying to make his lover smile. Oh, he loved Hashirama's smile and how it lightened his face, and the spark in his eyes but he never knew how to trigger it.

"Where have you been .. ?" Hashirama asked softly, pouring tea in the second cup for Madara. The Uchiha shrugged and sat at the table, making sure he wouldn't wake the kittens up. But he had to say something about them, to inform the Senju for what he wanted to do and he thought that going to the simpler was the best.

"I found them in the woods. I'll take care of them now." he answered, sipping in his cup and Hashirama only nodded.

Maybe Madara had been hiding it all this time, and Hashirama felt like his lover has that secretive side he was scared of, sometimes, maybe it could have ended really badly, if Madara caught him spying on him, but, for once, he had been lucky. And as Madara held one of the kittens to him, Hashirama accepted the cute animal and petted its soft fur in silence, smiling like an idiot and, sometimes, remembering that it was for those moments that he loved his friend so much ..