*After watching "Home" how could I not write some sort of Quinn/Mercedes piece? Contains spoilers for "Home". Written from Quinn's POV.*
Two words mean everything. They can make a person, or break them. A simple "you suck" can scar a person forever while a "nice job" could be the highlight of someones day. Two words make all the difference in the world.
Everyone's stressed out this week. Some reporter for Spilts magazine is coming down to interview Sue for a write-up in their next issue. This is one of those times when I honestly don't miss the Cheerios at all. I know Sue will demand that everyone lose 5 pounds and will have them learn a whole new routine in less than a week. In turn, this puts the Cheerios in permanent bad moods, so they will lash out at anyone or anything. Last year when Sue was being interviewed, Brittany got in an argument with a doorknob and Santana's constant throwing up clogged up the school septic tank. I grab a plastic lunch tray and count my blessings that I'm not being subjected to this kind of thing anymore.
As I walk over towards the food the lunch-ladies are serving, I overhear a conversation between Brittany and Santana and Mercedes.
"How do you manage to stay so skinny?" I hear Mercedes ask the girls. Oh right. Sue commanded that she lose 10 pounds this week, or else be kicked off the squad.
"The Sue Sylvester Master Cleanse" Santana replies, with a smile that is only fit for an infomercial. I remember those drinks. They tasted like someone had thrown sadness and despair in a blender and then mixed them together, forming what I used to call the "Anti-Christ of food".
"Sometimes I add a teaspoon of sand" Brittany said, being completely serious. I remember when she used to do that. She thought it would "help extract the extra water from her body" while still "maintaining her youthful glow". As I recall, all she ended up with was a mouthful of sand and a confused look on her face.
"That can't be healthy." I start hoping that Mercedes will finally realize that being a Cheerio isn't all fun and games. It's dangerous business.
"Who cares? You can either feel terrible and look great or get kicked off the team when that reporter gets here." I sadly look down at my feet and know that Santana speaks only truth here. Sue is ruthless and when someone doesn't preform the way she wants them too, nothing will get in her way of destroying them. I watch Mercedes walk away from the lunch line, leaving her chicken breast and salad behind.
"Santana! Hold on!" I yell after the two girls.
"You can't seriously be recommending Sue's "cleanse diet" to anyone. You know what that stuff does to you!" I angrily shout at her.
"Easy Tubers. Unlike you, we still have our bodies to be proud of. And Sue's diet does work. Remember last year, I dropped like 6 pounds." Santana replies in her sharp tone.
"Yeah, Quinn, it did work remember? Maybe you could like, substitute this stuff for milk when your baby's born." Brittany says, totally serious, while taking a sip of her cleanse drink.
"I wouldn't give this stuff to my baby if we were stranded on an island" I retort angrily.
"Stop telling Mercedes what is and isn't good for her body, because you two certainly don't know a single thing about it" I say before stomping away with my lunch in hand.
As I come to sit at a lunch table by myself I think about how different things are than last year. Last year I would have been sitting in the middle of everything, not excluded from it. The Cheerios uniform had given me a name, and the Captain's ribbon had given me power. Now that both were gone, I was struggling to find out who I really was. I knew that I wanted to help Mercedes get through this, and I knew that I could, but I didn't know how I could. Ever since my fall from power, not even the Glee kids really listened to me. To them I was the pregnant, ex-Cheerio, and ex-girlfriend of Finn. I was nobody, even there. It's then that I see Mercedes collapse and know that I have to do something about it. I grab a granola bar from my book bag, stuff a few grapes in my mouth, and pray that God gives me the right words to say.
While I sit in the nurses office watching Mercedes be examined, I really see how alike the girl and I are. She wants to fit in and be popular and will go to any lengths to get there, just like I did. After the nurse gives me an "OK" nod, I discreetly cross my fingers and pray that I can do this. I hold out the granola bar I picked up for her.
"Thanks, I'm not hungry" she says looking disdainfully yet longingly at the bar in my hand.
"Yes you are. You're starving. I know, I've been there." She looks away, too ashamed to meet my eye, so I continue.
"Did all the other kids start looking like food right before you fainted?"
"Yeah, how'd you know?" she asks really interested in how I know this little piece of information.
"Been there." She looks down again.
"Eat the granola bar" I prompt her. She takes it from my hand, still having her reservations about my intentions.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" she askes while opening the granola bar.
"I can't remember the last time you said two words to me that weren't 'you' and 'suck'." Now it's my turn to look down.
"Cause I was you. Scared. Hating myself for eating a cookie." This is the first time that I've ever said this aloud and it almost makes me smile.
"But I got over it."
"Yeah, of course you did. Miss, pretty blonde with the white girl ass." I don't let this phase me. Even when everybody would tell me that I was beautiful or looked hot, I still doubted them because that's what fear can do to you. It can make you doubt yourself even when you know in your heart that it's not true.
"When you start eating for somebody else, so that they can grow and be healthy, your relationship to food changes. What I realized is that if I'm so willing to eat right to take care of this baby, why am I not willing to do it for myself?" A single tear falls down her face and something inside me breaks.
"You are so lucky. You've always been at home in your body. Don't let Miss Sylvester take that away from you." I really mean what I am saying. Even before I was pregnant I never felt safe in my own body. I felt like by dressing and pleasing everyone else, I would be satisfied, but that was never the case.
"I'm so embarrassed. This isn't me. How did I become this person?" Mercedes says, now openly crying in front of me.
"You are beautiful. You know that." I can't be positive, but it seems like Mercedes may have given me a small, sad smile.
"I'm gonna stay here with you until your mom comes, okay?" I say, smiling right back at her and I swear, I hear her whisper two words back at me.
Two words that having me smiling all the way until the pep rally.
Two words that give me the courage to raise my hand when she asks if anyone feels fat.
Two words that give me the courage to stand by her side as she sings about the beauty around us everyday.
Two words.
"Thank you."
What do you think? I just had a surge of inspiration after watching "Home" and I just took the dialog and added a little spin on it!
Reviews are VERY appreciated! (: