Author's Note: This is kind of a crazy little piece. I have no clue where the idea came from. I guess Jacen Solo going insane was always a possibility, what with all the weird crap he's gone through – and the fact that the media is all over the Solo family and so on. But that's just my warning; I think this is the most random fanfiction I've written. Hehe. Written: 09/15/2004.
Welcome to the End
The scream erupted from below the canopy of thin branches, out over the edge of the cliff.
It stood for everything he had grown to despise. Everything that he used to not care about -- it all filtered into his head and polluted his mind. It caused him to crack and peel... and finally snap.
The flames curled high above as he danced wildly around the fire he had built from underbrush. Shadows and glimmers of light chased each other along the canopies underside, far above his head. The night sky above twinkled with stars and planets, far away, places he would never see again. Places he never cared to see again...
His delirious ramblings carried through the forest, causing creatures to stir in their slumber. It had been that way for a numerous number of nights now, they paid the person no mind.
Lines and symbols were smeared across his paling face, paint made from mud, from berries, from ashes... from blood. He wore a long rag wrapped around his waist, a shaggy cloth that was torn and ripped in places, complemented by an old pair of cloth boots. His chest was bare, also painted with the same patterns as his face, drops of sweat, spit and blood running down his skin, distorting the shapes that the paint created. His hair hung in dirty clumps on his head, still parted slightly on the side, like it always was, like it seemed to stay forever.
Mumbles snaked out of his system as he spun and moved effortlessly around the pyre, the sounds of nature filling his ears. That sound comforted him.
He basked in the natural surroundings, casting his arms out to his sides, twirling, throwing his head back and closing his eyes...
He was away from it all. The mechanics, the cities, the billions and billions of beings...
The fame.
That was what he was really content with out of his life. The fame. He couldn't stand being approached every day, at least four or five times.
"Aren't you Jacen Solo?"
"I can't believe what happened to Anakin... it should've been you."
"Can I get your autograph?"
"My sister is like, totally in love with you."
"Hey, is it true that you and the Queen Mother of Hapes are having an affair?"
Tenel Ka...
Having an affair, no... they were in love.
He remembered the last time he had been in any form of city or civilization -- he was with her, overlooking the horizon of Hapes from her balcony, in her chambers at the Palace.
"I have to do this." Jacen had whispered into her ear, through the thick curtain of copper hair. "I cannot stand living like I am."
She was clutching the railing of the balcony with the fingers of her right hand, Jacen could see them curling tighter, her knuckles turning white. "If it is what you want, then go. I love you too much to see you this depressed all the time."
A burst of energy hit him then, "Come with me. Let go of everything and come with me."
"Jacen, I cannot do that."
He looked to her, she was staring out to the horizon. Tears were forming in the corners of her eyes. Jacen reached up and brushed locks of fire out of the way, then he leaned in and planted a kiss on her temple. Trailing his lips to her ear, he breathed a sigh.
"Never forget me..." he whispered, almost silently.
"Never." She replied softly, to the dusky night.
And with one last caress of her cheek, Jacen was gone, fleeing through the palace corridors, paying attention to nothing on the way out. She watched him as he exited the immense building, running as fast as he could towards the hangers. A foreign emotion spread over her and as much as she tried to hold it back, there was no stopping it...
Tenel Ka had fallen to her knees and cried.
Jacen had seen it and watched it happen as he took off.
There was no turning back now.
The fire had grown, the sparks dancing right along with him. He had found a place where nobody knew his name, where nobody knew him...
...where there was no one there to know him at all.
Noise interrupted his delirium, causing his eyes to snap open. His head turned and he dashed over to the cliffs edge, crouching there like some sort of wild animal.
Blinking lights getting closer to the planet, closer to him, closer to his primal utopia.
He didn't say anything intelligible, he just growled.
Gnashing his teeth, he retreated to his fire, the warmth welcoming him with open arms that his family was always too busy to give him. He continued to hum and mumble and trot around the burning underbrush, in an attempt to ignore the ships closing in on his haven.
They buzzed around overhead, probably thinking they were acting as angels, coming to save him from himself, flying around... they were just annoying insects, needing a good swat.
He knew they were all watching the edge of the cliff, probably debating in sending someone down. He had no idea how they found him here. He had told no one where he was going, not even Tenel Ka.
Jacen knew at that point he could never truly escape and that was when he turned away from the fire, his shoulderblades shifting, shoulders racked with defeated sobs in the firelight. His feet took off, and he carved a path from the fire, straight back to the cliff, where he leapt out over the rocks, diving towards the water. As his body left the shield of the canopies the moonlight, he came into view in the viewports of the ships.
The decision was never really made in his head, but something in his blood told him to do it. It told him to let go.
They watched him.
He could sense the passengers and people, all holding their breaths.
Jacen Solo shut himself off from the Force and plummeted, giving himself completely over to nothing. He wanted to be an unknown, he just wanted to live a normal life. No fame, no fans, no nonstop reporters or holo-journalists in his face at all hours.
And he realized at the last moment, this was truly the only way to accomplish that---
The splash was the last noise he ever made.
His dream of anonymity was never achieved, even after death. He was all over the holonet for three straight weeks after his death, and reports about him were shown at least once every week following that...
The Queen Mother of Hapes just watched them all with a shake of her head.
Suicide. It wasn't like him. It wasn't like him at all...
Or was it just not what the Holonet made him out to be?