3 Words of Guilt
This fanfic the result of a strange thread/experiment on the GameFAQs board which had very odd results, but they're probably a higher quality than some other fanfics out there, which is scary.
...Just know that a lot of the weirdness isn't my fault, though some of it probably is...
If you want to know more just look at the thread with this title to see the original, even more senseless form of this fic.
DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately, I don't own Guilty Gear and neither do any of the people on the GameFAQs board, unless they're secretly Daisuke.
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One day, May hit Slayer with a killer whale and ate salami, kissing the dust while she left. Then Johnny said "What you doing." May said "Don't mind me." Johnny was concerned, so he made Dizzy cook a roasted hippopotamus that made him choke rather violently. So she punched him off his chair, out the window, and off the ship, but he got stuck. And so he yelled for help.
Hearing his cries, Testament showed up, letting him fall into the ocean. A shark came, and it bit his smelly boot, which tasted bad. But just then: Enter Sol Badguy. And he killed the hungry shark. And Johnny was shaking Sol's hand. So Sol said "Give me Dizzy, before I kill ya." Then Johnny replied, "Who is May?" Sol got pissed. "DIZZZZZZYYYY!!! NOT MAY!" and gun flamed Johnny to death. As Johnny died, he said to Dizzy, "Run, or I'll kick your shin really hard." But Sol was already kicking it. Dizzy got hurt, but Testament arrived, and he tried to undress Millia, who appeared suddenly for no reason. Sol and Dizzy started to fight, and Dizzy won. Sol cried lots. So did Millia, because Testament took all her clothes.
Sol got up, but Dizzy had written yaoi fanfiction. She ate beef and asked May, "Like more SolxKy?" Ky read it, and went to Dizzy, who kicked him. He said, "I'M GIRLY NOT MANLY!" Then Robo Ky found some drugs and showed up for clone sex. He ended up screwing Dizzy instead, so Sol smashed his head in, and then laughed so hard that Robo Ky exploded. Suddenly, Raoh appeared with Mr. T. Fonzey on a date from Euro Disney. Raoh then said "ma ma ma," and pimp smacked Sol multiple times, and he screamed "WISHBONE TEH DOG!!!!!!!111" Obviously insane, Raoh slammed his head and exploded.
Sol then grabbed Ky and challenged him to a checkers game, and kicked his candy ass. Ky then served Roasted Kittens, but had no tea cups, because Sol smashed them with his genitalia. Sol laughed as Chipp tripped, breaking his head, and landing on Baiken's claw which impaled you-know-what. Meanwhile, May was eating a pancake, only to look and see that Dizzy and Johnny were eating waffles. May got jealous and whipped out Jam to cook fried chicken rice and smash Johnny with a mallet. Suddenly Justice killed Ky because Ky's sacred edge killed his goldfish.
Justice turned into a giant waffle so Sol blacked out, waking up in his undies in I-No's bedroom. He screamed, seeing Dizzy yuri-ing with stupid little Millia. Sol attacked Millia with tuna cans and ate her. But he choked. Justice wasn't happy and drowned Mayship because he hadn't paid his bills since he got Fred Sanford to kiss his ass softly and gingerly. Zappa and S-ko were "having fun" until Faust saw Dizzy looking sad and asked her "Want a penny?" Dizzy replied, "Did you just eat some tacos?" He nodded, saying, "Yeah, Taco Bell." Suddenly Jam killed Chipp for being a part of the group "Enuff Zanuff". Then I-No said "1337 teh shineget!!!!1111!!0ne11!!11111" and promptly died. Potemkin cursed because he is HUUUUUUGE!!!! Bringing in more fuzzy wuzzy bunnies to choke Sol and Jam's stew.
Being slapped silly, Zappa screamed at the madness that ensued when Sadako bit Sol in the arse. Zappa grabbed Bridget and chucked him out the window, into a sewer. However, Bridget got aroused and stayed and Faust saw I-No stripping for George W. Bush, which led to dirty sex with Bridget.
Elsewhere, Axl was in bondage to I-No. Without his chains, he couldn't fight, so Faust interrupted, killing I-No with butt pokeage and licking Axl. But then Zappa held his manhood as Sadako tried to cut it. Faust noticed and "healed" Zappa's cut using his scalpel. Jam lost her oolong can on Chinese New Year being really drunk. Sol killed Faust with Jam's drink container can, but it seems Sol stole it.
Bridget came out, eating popsicles from the Shuusen Kanrikyoku. Then Testament said, "That popsicle is... from the popsicle man!" Bridget laughed evilly but choked when the popsicle stick in his throat suddenly exploded in a white mess killing him and leaving Roger in FREEDOM!!! Roger rampaged and suddenly turned into Shadow EX Justice and Gamma Rayed George W. Bush. Excel came into the story, attacking Justice with a rotted asparagus stalk. Thus from Robo Ky was born Nabeshin, who shot secret organization ACROSS. The will of the universe, Daisuke Almighty stated: "Guilty Gear is the best dang game ever made." Daisuke then made the end of the GG SERIES! But he really is a SHE, and exploded messily with the end.
This fanfic the result of a strange thread/experiment on the GameFAQs board which had very odd results, but they're probably a higher quality than some other fanfics out there, which is scary.
...Just know that a lot of the weirdness isn't my fault, though some of it probably is...
If you want to know more just look at the thread with this title to see the original, even more senseless form of this fic.
DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately, I don't own Guilty Gear and neither do any of the people on the GameFAQs board, unless they're secretly Daisuke.
-----
One day, May hit Slayer with a killer whale and ate salami, kissing the dust while she left. Then Johnny said "What you doing." May said "Don't mind me." Johnny was concerned, so he made Dizzy cook a roasted hippopotamus that made him choke rather violently. So she punched him off his chair, out the window, and off the ship, but he got stuck. And so he yelled for help.
Hearing his cries, Testament showed up, letting him fall into the ocean. A shark came, and it bit his smelly boot, which tasted bad. But just then: Enter Sol Badguy. And he killed the hungry shark. And Johnny was shaking Sol's hand. So Sol said "Give me Dizzy, before I kill ya." Then Johnny replied, "Who is May?" Sol got pissed. "DIZZZZZZYYYY!!! NOT MAY!" and gun flamed Johnny to death. As Johnny died, he said to Dizzy, "Run, or I'll kick your shin really hard." But Sol was already kicking it. Dizzy got hurt, but Testament arrived, and he tried to undress Millia, who appeared suddenly for no reason. Sol and Dizzy started to fight, and Dizzy won. Sol cried lots. So did Millia, because Testament took all her clothes.
Sol got up, but Dizzy had written yaoi fanfiction. She ate beef and asked May, "Like more SolxKy?" Ky read it, and went to Dizzy, who kicked him. He said, "I'M GIRLY NOT MANLY!" Then Robo Ky found some drugs and showed up for clone sex. He ended up screwing Dizzy instead, so Sol smashed his head in, and then laughed so hard that Robo Ky exploded. Suddenly, Raoh appeared with Mr. T. Fonzey on a date from Euro Disney. Raoh then said "ma ma ma," and pimp smacked Sol multiple times, and he screamed "WISHBONE TEH DOG!!!!!!!111" Obviously insane, Raoh slammed his head and exploded.
Sol then grabbed Ky and challenged him to a checkers game, and kicked his candy ass. Ky then served Roasted Kittens, but had no tea cups, because Sol smashed them with his genitalia. Sol laughed as Chipp tripped, breaking his head, and landing on Baiken's claw which impaled you-know-what. Meanwhile, May was eating a pancake, only to look and see that Dizzy and Johnny were eating waffles. May got jealous and whipped out Jam to cook fried chicken rice and smash Johnny with a mallet. Suddenly Justice killed Ky because Ky's sacred edge killed his goldfish.
Justice turned into a giant waffle so Sol blacked out, waking up in his undies in I-No's bedroom. He screamed, seeing Dizzy yuri-ing with stupid little Millia. Sol attacked Millia with tuna cans and ate her. But he choked. Justice wasn't happy and drowned Mayship because he hadn't paid his bills since he got Fred Sanford to kiss his ass softly and gingerly. Zappa and S-ko were "having fun" until Faust saw Dizzy looking sad and asked her "Want a penny?" Dizzy replied, "Did you just eat some tacos?" He nodded, saying, "Yeah, Taco Bell." Suddenly Jam killed Chipp for being a part of the group "Enuff Zanuff". Then I-No said "1337 teh shineget!!!!1111!!0ne11!!11111" and promptly died. Potemkin cursed because he is HUUUUUUGE!!!! Bringing in more fuzzy wuzzy bunnies to choke Sol and Jam's stew.
Being slapped silly, Zappa screamed at the madness that ensued when Sadako bit Sol in the arse. Zappa grabbed Bridget and chucked him out the window, into a sewer. However, Bridget got aroused and stayed and Faust saw I-No stripping for George W. Bush, which led to dirty sex with Bridget.
Elsewhere, Axl was in bondage to I-No. Without his chains, he couldn't fight, so Faust interrupted, killing I-No with butt pokeage and licking Axl. But then Zappa held his manhood as Sadako tried to cut it. Faust noticed and "healed" Zappa's cut using his scalpel. Jam lost her oolong can on Chinese New Year being really drunk. Sol killed Faust with Jam's drink container can, but it seems Sol stole it.
Bridget came out, eating popsicles from the Shuusen Kanrikyoku. Then Testament said, "That popsicle is... from the popsicle man!" Bridget laughed evilly but choked when the popsicle stick in his throat suddenly exploded in a white mess killing him and leaving Roger in FREEDOM!!! Roger rampaged and suddenly turned into Shadow EX Justice and Gamma Rayed George W. Bush. Excel came into the story, attacking Justice with a rotted asparagus stalk. Thus from Robo Ky was born Nabeshin, who shot secret organization ACROSS. The will of the universe, Daisuke Almighty stated: "Guilty Gear is the best dang game ever made." Daisuke then made the end of the GG SERIES! But he really is a SHE, and exploded messily with the end.