Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Don't sue.

August 5, 1995

"Uuuuuurp!" Archie let a loud belch rip through the crisp, early morning air. The grass crunched beneath his slippered feet as he padded to the chicken coop. Lately, Archie had been doing a special exercise. His therapist had told him to try living like a Muggle for ten weeks. No magic, no nothing. So far, he had done a pretty good job. Except...

0o0o0o

Johnny and Billy sniggered. "You think he'll do it?" Johnny was lying flat on his stomach in the musty hay that littered the floor of the barn attic.

Billy, the older brother, crouching and peering out the window through binoculars, scoffed. "Come on, Johnny! We gave him firewhiskey! Of course he will!"

0o0o0o

Archie smiled and patted his favorite chicken. "There you are, Emelza. Nice and easy, I just need your egg."

A fiery, angry look swam through Emelza's shallow eyes. A burning sensation was rising in her throat...

"RAAAAWR!!!!!" Emelza erupted a stream of fire that filled the chicken coop with a dazzling, frightening orange light.

"Aurgh!!!" Archie stumbled and fell into a briar bush. "Emelza! Are you okay?" He jumped out of the chicken coop and rushed to comfort Emelza.

0o0o0o

"Jeez." Billy rolled his eyes. "He loves that chicken more than he loves us!"

A spurt of steam trickled out of Emelza's beak.

"Oh no!" Archie cried. "You need help!" Looking around frantically, he cried "Boys! BOYS!"

0o0o0o

Johnny looked at Billy with wide eyes. "I think we're in trouble..."

They sprinted down the ladder and out of the barn. "Yeah dad....?"

Archie's crazed eyes met Billy's. "Oh, good. I need you to do some therapy on Emelza. She seems to be having a few digestive problems. I'm hoping you can help her fix it. She'll listen to you."

"I don't think it's the chicken that needs the therapy," whispered Johnny.

Archie thrust the squirming chicken into Billy's reluctant arms and bolted into the house, biting his fingernails and whimpering with worry.

"Erm...." Billy set the chicken down on the grass.

"Why did you breathe the fire?" Johnny asked the chicken.

"Are you crazy??????"

"I'm doing therapy!"

"Good god, Johnny."

Johnny turned his attention back to the chicken who let out a squawk. "Er....and how do you feel about that?"

Emelza eyed him.

"Ha! Johnny, I think that chicken just looked skeptical!"

Johnny sighed. "I'm never giving a chicken firewhiskey again."

I just kind of felt like writing that. Yes, it's the chicken that Harry and Mr. Weasley see in the elevator in the MoM in the 5th book. And here's a poll, because I'm bored.

If I had one day left to live, I would

a) Spend time with my family

b) Throw a party

c) Go to Europe and go shopping

d) Read Harry Potter

e) Kiss my crush

f) All of the above

g) Other

And I appreciate reviews!

MaRy GoObY