Munkustrap looked worriedly over at Victoria and her untouched bowl of food. She was getting increasingly thinner, as well as introverted. He ran a paw through the fur on top of her head and kissed her mouth lightly when she turned to him. Holding her face gently where it was, he noticed that her eyes had dark gray circles beneath them, as well. Munkustrap nuzzled her, and asked, although he knew the answer, "What's wrong, Kitten?"
"Nothing, Munku. Nothing at all. I'm just fine, and I have been. You know that." The words were laced with a smile that Munkustrap could see was fake from a mile away.
"Victoria, please. I love you, and you trust me, don't you? I love you so much. Did something happen to you?"
"No," she said, a bit too quickly. Her already completely white fur had paled enough that Munkustrap knew that something was terribly wrong.
"Who hurt you?" Munkustrap asked as gently as he could.
Victoria looked up at the large silver tabby next to her, having pulled her head out of his grip. His dark blue eyes revealed none of his thoughts, and no thoughts were reflected in Victoria's brown eyes, either, so neither of them were getting anywhere. He took hold of her face once more, and it was all she could do to fight back the tears.
"Munku...I....I love you. But....this isn't working. I can't see you anymore. I am so sorry. I love you so much."
Munkustrap was struck hard by his Kitten's words. Today was the day that he had planned on asking her to be his Queen. He wanted to be her Mate since she had first professed her feelings for him, but had been gentlemanly and waited two years for her. Everything had been going perfectly until a few weeks ago. Victoria had become cold, distant. Munkustrap knew that something was wrong then, and especially now. Biting back the pain, he asked, "Why, Kitten? I never hurt you....."
"But that's just it! You are too gentle! I am not so delicate! Trust me sometimes!" With that, Victoria ran off, leaving her food and a stunned Munkustrap. Running out of the Junkyard, she got past Skimbleshanks' Railway Station and hid in an alley about two blocks away from it. Five minutes later, someone stepped out of the shadows and pressed their cold, furry lips to Victoria's. She whimpered in distress.
"Admetus, please," she begged when he pulled back. "Not now. Don't do this to me. I broke up with him like you told me to. Now stop threatening to rape me. Please."
"I will stop threatening it." His voice was as cold as his lips.
Victoria backed up, but not quickly enough. Admetus spun her around and bit the back of her neck, then forced her down onto her stomach.
"No, no, no," Victoria pleaded, wishing she was in Munkustrap's arms right now. Admetus entered her. He was too big, going too fast. She didn't know what hurt more; Admetus or not having her Tom. Most likely the second. "Admetus...." Victoria cried softly, wanting to die.
Of course, with his mouth full of her neck, he couldn't answer, but he ran his cold paws over her chest and Mated her faster. His tail was wrapped around her waist, and Victoria's was caught between their bodies. He just had to trap every aspect of her, didn't he? When he was done, Victoria didn't know how, but knew he would be more cruel than before.
"I don't think you should return to the Junkyard."
"Why?" she asked complacently, because he was still on top of and inside of her.
"Because the only one that actually cared that you were there- you broke the heart of."
"My brother Quaxo-"
"-Will die if you return." Victoria gasped and cried. Because of what Admetus had just done, she knew it was true.
"I have friends there."
"Prove it."
"All of the kittens."
"Do you want me to rape them too? Or are you willing to stay away from them and keep them safe?"
Victoria choked. There was no way she could win with this tomcat. He had calculated everything beforehand. He had an answer to anything she might say. She fell limp.
"Good," Admetus hissed. "Good."
Two months had passed since their "fight", and there had been no sign of Victoria whatsoever. Munkustrap was losing too much sleep searching for her every night. He had lost his voice calling out for her day and night without end. His supply of tears could not seem to cease, however. Quaxo and the other Cats seemed restless, as well. Twice Munkustrap had almost turned to Nip, but knew that drugs would not bring Victoria back. He was on his back, in his den, crying, trying to sleep. He drifted off and managed to get an hour or two in before snapping awake. He'd heard Victoria's mew! Rushing out into the clearing, he searched frantically. No luck. It was only a dream... Jemima approached with her Mate Tumblebrutus, and said "Munkustrap, Admetus has been going missing alot lately. I thought you might like to know."
Victoria was half glad that she was part human. She sat in the tub of too hot water, spraying the shower hose on her feminine parts. She refused to have Admetus's kittens, no matter the price. Sometimes she would trick him into beating her and always would strike her stomach against something when she suspected she was pregnant. Now that she had heard of this technique, she decided it was easier. No broken bones. But she was nearly a broken spirit. Spraying the water everywhere, she wished she could wash Admetus, or Ugletus, as she referred to him mentally, off and out of herself. But there was nothing she could do. The radio was on, and Victoria heard a song by a band she believed was Evanescence.
Please, please forgive me
but I won't be home again
Maybe someday you'll look up
and barely conscious you'll say to no one
isn't something missing?
Ha, Victoria thought. What would be missing?
You won't cry for my absence, I know
you forgot me long ago
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so insignificant?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
No....no......Munkustrap and the others wouldn't have forgotten her....
Even though I'm the sacrifice
you won't try for me, not now
though I die to know you love me
I'm all alone
Isn't someone missing me?
Victoria began weeping. She felt like this woman was singing what was in Victoria's own heart.
Please, please forgive me
but I won't be home again
I know what you do to yourself
I breathe deep and cry out
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Slipping down, Victoria brought the water to her jawline.
Even though I'm the sacrifice
you won't try for me, not now
though I die to know you love me
I'm all alone
Isn't someone missing me?
No, that couldn't be right, could it? Where was Munkustrap? Where was anyone?
And if I bleed, I'll bleed
knowing you don't care
and if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
She had been waking without Munkustrap for two months now, and it was driving her crazy. Admetus' family was nice, but not what she wanted. Her family must be worried, too...
Even though I'm the sacrifice
you won't try for me not now
though I died to know you love me
I'm all alone
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
-Evanescence, Missing
Then again, why would they be? Why would anyone miss her? Victoria got up out of the water, drained it, and cleaned herself dry. Admetus walked in and his icy lips connected with hers.
"Done?"
"Yes."
"Good. Come on."
"Where are we going?"
"What have I told you about questioning me?!" Admetus pushed her on her back and cleaned her feminine area as a punishment. Then he suddenly turned cat, and Victoria did as well, knowing that he did not do so unless necessary. The woman of the family walked into the bathroom to apply her makeup for dinner out with her husband, and smiled.
"What are you doing, Addy? Picking on that poor kitten?" She picked Victoria up, and Victoria nuzzled her in eternal gratitude. She buried her face in the woman's neck, not wanting to be put down. The woman giggled girlishly and said "ok, if you can balance safely you can stay there away from the mean kitty."
Admetus jumped up on the toilet and meowed.
"No, no, Admetus. You leave this little kitten alone. You have been a tail on her for too long. This poor kitten seems terrified of you. And we need to find her owner." The woman switched off the radio and began applying her makeup. A man walked in and kissed her before she could do her lipstick and bent to pet Admetus.
"Hey, Addy, old boy. Have you found the kitten's home yet, Betha?"
"No, Erik. I haven't. We might be so far away from her house that Missing Posters aren't posted in this area. We will look tonight, when we are on the town. We can't just leave her, that is for sure."
"Who would want to, she's darling." Erik pet Victoria, who nuzzled his hand. It was people like these that kept Victoria fighting. She had to see Munkustrap again someday. She had to remember how to love, to live.
Betha finished applying her makeup, and smiled sadly.
"Sorry, kitten, but we have to go." She pulled Victoria, who went without a fight, from her shoulder. Cuddling her against her breast, Betha set her down and walked away. Erik turned the radio back on and winked at Victoria, who purred softly, halfheartedly. In two minutes, she and Admetus were alone.
He dragged her off to his Family's bedroom.
Munkustrap still had not regained his voice, but twitched his tail, and Jemima continued.
"Quaxo noticed that Admetus visits his Family a lot more than normal. And that it started about three weeks ago. Mistoffelees is searching right now for any clues that might lead us to Victoria, and the others are still searching every where anytime that they can."
Munkustrap suddenly went rigid, as he had precisely forty-two times since Victoria had disappeared, and slammed his fisted paw onto the car next to himself. Son of a Peke!! He was raping her again! Jemima and the other Cats had grown to expect random outbursts. Munkustrap tried to yell, shout, scream. But his voice still failed him. He fell to his knees, weeping like a kit. Jemima stroked his fur and kept silent. Words of comfort were shallow. Action was required. Munkustrap cried and cried, soaking Jemima's chest. He felt so insignifigant, so helpless.
'Victoria,' he thought desperately, 'oh, My Kit, I love you.....'
Admetus slammed Victoria down on her back on the bed, which surprised her. Whatever he was planning was sinister. He slammed himself into her as if all the anger in the world were on his shoulders to deal with.
'And if I sleep just to dream of you, I'll wake without you there...'
Admetus bit deep into Victoria's throat, nearly killing her.
'And if I sleep...'
His furious thrusts rocked the kitten's small body. His teeth were hurting her.
'I'll wake without you there....'
Admetus pulled his mouth out of Victoria's throat. Her breathing was erratic. He slapped her and she opened her eyes. They fell closed a second later, and Victoria almost gave up the ghost. But then something echoed in her mind.
'Victoria...My Kit....I love you.....'
Munkustrap! Victoria reached out, trying hard to make contact.
'I love you too! Admetus has me at h-'
He slapped her again.
"Wake up, you worthless Peke!" He put pressure on her wounds, which stopped the bleeding but made breathing difficult.
'Fa...y,' Victoria sent, unable to form the word, before passing out.
Munkustrap's head snapped up.
'I love you too!...Adm....me....h..s....fa.....y....'
Victoria's voice! Weak, but her! The scent of blood came with the message, so Munkustrap sent all the strength he could to Victoria. Munkustrap formed the words that he had heard through crude sign language, trying to form the letter as close to it's actual shape as possible. Tumble slowly pieced together the message.
"Admetus....me....has or his.....fa....fa....y..."
"Family!" Jemima said.
Munkustrap ran off.
When Victoria woke, she was cold. Her throat and between her legs were wet, but drying and sticky. She was on her back, and she heard movement in the room next to the one she was in. She couldn't move, couldn't open her eyes. Movement next to her. Something warm and wet was placed on her throat and forehead.
"Damned Peke. Women are so weak. You had better be breathing, girl."
She was. She felt her chest rising and falling slightly, and heard a sigh. "I really hate women. GET UP!" Admetus said suddenly, forcing her to turn back to kitten and dragging her off in his cat mouth. Ten minutes passed. Nothing happened.
By the time Munkustrap reached Admetus' house, no one was there. Merde!He ran and ran, not caring where he went. Just as long as Victoria was there.
Two years. Two full years. Victoria felt so alone. Admetus had put her through so many toms that she did not even know one of their names.
and if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
Isn't something missing in your life of lies.....
Doesn't someone care for you?
Does any one even know you exist, or is it useless to try?
Life is so fragile
But you are never alone
Just take refuge in your insanity
Everyone that counts loves you there
Forget the world and its dreams
Sing your song, drown out the screams
Run the race, hide the fears
Forget the years, fight back the tears
They won't be there for you, because they never were before
Fight the lies
Take to shadows in the rain
Hide the pain behind its mask
Because it will never die...
Victoria sat on the floor, staring at Admetus, waiting for orders. He sneered and motioned for her to come sit on his lap. Victoria complied, no longer thinking about Munkustrap, the Jellicles, or either Family. She hadn't seen either since the day that Admetus had pulled her away from Munkustrap after nearly killing her. That one final embrace as she was being stolen away had been priceless. But Admetus had struck Munkustrap so hard on the skull that Victoria just knew he was dead. Then, what was the point? She sat straddling him, and, in front of all his friends, Admetus Mated Victoria. She no longer felt the pain anymore. She sat on him like a doll might, flopping bonelessly with every thrust. His friends thought that was hilarious. When he was finished, Admetus ordered Victoria to go get them all drinks and make herself invisible until she was useful again. She did, her white, pretty face fallen and darkened by hatred and sadness. She did as ordered, then sat out on the porch of the house of the kindly old couple that had taken her and Admetus in. Something moved in the shadows, but Victoria did not have the presence of mind to be afraid of the Macavity shaped figure that walked out and picked her up. Macavity took her away from the house and to God knew where. Victoria had fallen into an exhausted, deprived sleep on the way there. Victoria woke up to a warm washcloth being wiped all over her body, cleaning away the years. The gentle scrubbing lulled her back to sleep.
Two hours later, Victoria woke up to the scent of food. Something that her stomach demanded she get at that second. As she was sitting up, Macavity walked into the room with a tray of that aromatic food.
"No, no, lay down." He sat on the edge of the bed and touched her forehead. "Good, no more temperature. Much longer, and you would be dead."
Victoria realized she had forgotten how to speak, since Admetus had never let her. She tried to form the words, but they came out raspy until the third try.
"How is your half brother?"
"I had a feeling you would ask about Munkustrap. Here. Eat."
"He's dead, isn't he." Victoria's voice was flat.
"Eat. He....gave up. He gave command to Alonzo, and picked a fight with a large Pollicle. He didn't even fight back."
"How did he die," she asked, picking at the food that she had craved so badly before.
"...Throat got ripped out."
Victoria touched her old scars that Admetus had given her, on her throat. Then she screamed with everything she had.
"Everlasting Cat! Please! I need him! Please!" Victoria's voice was so full of tears, and the choking sob that the last 'please' had ended on so pitiful, Macavity pursed his lips and pulled her close. "I want to die.....anything to be with him.....just one more time......"
"Victoria, death isn't for 'just one time' things. Don't do it."
"But I will never see him again otherwise!"
Who says he would want to see you? You are the reason he is dead.....it's your fault.....you killed him! You did! YOU DID VICTORIA! YOU KILLED MUNKUSTRAP! Victoria screamed and fainted dead.
Light.
So much light.
Victoria.
Wake up.
"Victoria. Wake up."
No....
Sleep...
Death...
Munkustrap....
"Victoria!" Victoria opened her eyes to see a silver form before her, a completely silver male cat. But not Munkustrap.
"Everlasting Cat!" Victoria cried.
"Yes. Now wake up. You have to go back."
"I won't! I want Munkustrap!"
"Victoria. You have to go home."
Why do you want him? He doesn't want you....he never wanted you.....
"NO!"
Light. So much light.
Victoria.
Wake up.
"No....."
Cheers.
"VICTORIA WAKE UP!" It was Macavity's voice, and he was carrying her again. She was set down on something soft.
And furry.
Warm.
So warm.
Victoria tried to piece her mind together, but had to open her eyes to do it. Then she saw that her bed....was....a....TOMCAT! A SILVER TABBY!
Victoria hugged Munkustrap so hard that he woke up. They clutched each other, then suddenly Victoria got up out of Munkustrap's grasp and ran from his den. Macavity stopped her.
"What's wrong?"
"He never looked for me after that incident."
"He never stopped looking for you."
"What do you mean?"
"Didn't you get a final embrace?"
"Yes....."
"Go back in there. He needs you as much as you need him. He died for you."
"He died to know I loved him....."
"Yes."
She ran to the den.
That night, Victoria had a nightmare. Admetus was raping her again. Opening her eyes, Victoria realized with a scream that it was not a nightmare. Admetus had a large knife ready to plunge into her heart, but choked and was yanked off of her as it brushed her racing chest.
Victoria screamed and screamed, closing her eyes and retreating to her inner sanctum again, screaming the pain away. When she opened her eyes again, Admetus was gone. Running out of Munkustrap's den, she saw him locked in a bitter struggle with all of the other Cats, mainly Munkustrap. Admetus screamed as Munkustrap went for the throat. Victoria screamed so loud that Munkustrap stopped. Macavity, who was holding Admetus from behind, asked her why she stopped Munkustrap.
"I don't see the point in any more violence. I.....I can't take it. You worked so hard to unbreak me. Don't prove your words false. You told me you love me, don't lie about it now. Please, you know I need you. Don't abandon me. Munkustrap....." The knife was on the ground, and Victoria's doubt came back, but she ignored it.
"What do you want us to do?" Munkustrap asked.
"Let him be somebody's bitch." Victoria smirked.
"Hey, bitch, get over here!" Macavity called to Admetus. When Admetus hissingly complied, Macavity Mated him hard. Admetus began crying upon entry, and Macavity slapped him viciously. Admetus was facing Macavity sitting on his lap, and Macavity had his arms tight around Admetus. All the while, in Munkustrap's den, a white kitten squealed a yes in response to an age old question before being swept off to love and pleasures she never thought possible.