Author's Note:
wow, can't believe i wrote an office fic...the show is just too good to really capture so i did the facebook route.
This fic makes references to Movie Mondays and Michael Scott's repeated Movie Monday movie Varsity Blues...
I own nothing..
Kevin Malone Joins Facebook
Kevin Malone has changed relationship status.
Kevin Malone is now friends with Oscar Nunez and seven others.
Kevin Malone I JUST PUT 150 M&Ms IN MY MOUTH!
Oscar Nunez Yes, Kev...we know, you just shouted it in the office...btw you are cleaning those M&Ms off my desk.
Angela Martin Maybe you should try working instead of sinning
Dwight Shrute likes this.
Kevin Malone Sinning?
Angela Martin Gluttony is a sin.
Kevin Malone Gluttony? Is that a Facebook game?
Michael Scott Stop! Varsity Blues is on!
Kevin Malone is now friends with Jim Halpert
Kevin Malone likes Gossip Girl
Kelly Kapoor You like Gossip Girl! OMG! Did you see what Chuck did last night? Both me and Ryan were soooooooo shocked! OMG!
Ryan Howard I do not like Gossip Girl...just clearing that up...
Dwight Shrute Wow, Kevin, I thought you couldn't get more pathetic after the M&Ms accident, it appears I was wrong
Michael Scott Shut up, Dwight. Gossip Girl has to better than Battlestar Galactica, that is such a lame show.
Dwight Shrute No, it isnt. You just have to watch it...
Michael Scott I did, it was so lame, you need to buy me the second season of 30Rock to make up for that huge waste of my life.
Kevin Malone is now friends with Creed Bratton
Kevin Malone My keyboard is sticky, Oscar says its from the milkshake i spilled on it earlier...i dont think thats it, i think Ange-...i mean some blonde in accounting had her cat pee on it...
Creed Bratton Hey, I can get you a brand new used keyboard for twenty bucks
Kevin Malone Really?
Creed Bratton Yes, meet me in the break room in five...
Kevin Malone likes Hillary Swank
Pam Halpert I KNEW IT!
Jim Halpert What are you exclaiming about?
Pam Halpert Don't you remember the time when we all had the debate about whether Hillary was hot or not?
Jim Halpert Sweetie, what are you talking about?
Kevin Malone What debate?
Pam Halpert But...you have to remember..?
Jim Halpert I don't remember any debates about hillary swank
Kevin Malone i think you are mistaken pam...
Pam Halpert But...oh I don't know...
Jim Halpert Nice play, Malone...:)
Kevin Malone HighFIVE!
Jim Halpert You do realize we're on Facebook, right?
Kevin Malone Yeah...
Toby Flenderson poked you.
Kevin Malone POKED ME? What the does that mean?
Kevin Malone Loving my new keyboard! Thanks Creed! You're The BEST!
Creed Bratton You friends with the redhead?
Kevin Malone Meredith? Nah, she doesn't have a facebook.
Creed Bratton Good...don't mention the keyboard to the redhead...I know where you keep the snickers...
Kevin Malone You're just joking...right, Creed?You're not going to mess with my snickers?
Kevin Malone Creed?
Kevin Malone I am quitting facebook, i can't handle the stress, the drama, the constant busyness of reading...i'm done...oh BILLY BOB! Not ANOTHER CONCUSSION!
Jim Halpert Oh Kev, don't be that way, you know you love it...and we'd all miss you.
Dwight Shrute That is a lie, Jim. Not all of us would miss Kevin if he left Facebook, I personally could care less.
Jim Halpert Dwight will miss you most of all Kev, don't leave.
Dwight Shrute LIAR! DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM KEVIN. I WILL NOT MISS YOU.
Jim Halpert Oh wow, Kev, I think Dwight has a crush on you...
Dwight Shrute JIM!
Jim Halpert Sorry, Dwight. I'm married, Kevin is single though.
Kevin Malone Sorry, Dwight, its not you, it's me...
Dwight Shrute I am not even dignifying this stupidity with a response
Jim Halpert But you just responded...
Kevin Malone I miss Stacy
Michael Scott Who's Stacy?
Kevin Malone She was my fiance
Michael Scott You had a fiance? Before me?
Kevin Malone has updated his profile picture.
Pam Halpert likes this.
Jim Halpert Is that a Scrantonicity picture?
Kevin Malone Yeah...before that douche bag Steve left us...
Phyllis Vance likes this.
Bob Vance Wow, one of you people were in a rock band?
Darryl Philbin What do you mean "you people"?
Bob Vance Those lame office workers
Darryl Philbin True...
Michael Scott Yeah! Those office workers are sooo lame.
Darryl Philbin Mike, you are an office worker.
Fin
Author's Note: this is actually longer than i planned, originally it ended when Kevin said he was quitting Facebook, but I had some inspiration...and wrote a bit more.
Personally, my favorite office character is Creed, and I could so totally see him selling Meredith's (or anyone's) keyboard to someone else in the office.
They are all so much fun to write though, Jim/Dwight interactions, Michael's low self-esteem, Kevin is soo fun, really. It's like what is the dumbest thing a person could say at the moment like "POKED ME?WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?" :) Sadly, I forgot to write Andy, Stanley, Erin, Meredith and who ever else I missed into it. I love Andy, but I wasn't thinking I guess.
I personally am new to Facebook, so this was kind of a stretch and that's why so many are about status updates.
Leave a comment, the best thing for a writer is criticism and encouragement, give me whichever you want.