Break Away
Jedi Goat
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Author's Note: I love Neji; he's by far my favorite Naruto character. This is my take on what happens after his battle against Naruto in the chunin exam, and Neji's 'redemption'. This is the first time I write about him, so I hope the characterization's okay.
o0o0o0o0o0o
He awoke at dawn, as usual. Ignoring the fiery light pouring in from the window, he set about his business. It was not the light that had awakened him; by his internal clock it was time, and so he rose. As silent as a breath of wind, he then slipped out of the room. Padding lightly down the steps, he turned and followed a darkened corridor. The lack of light didn't seem to affect him, either; without need for a guiding handhold, he strode onward confidently. His eyes glittered cat-like in the gloom, milky-white like twin moons.
Finally he reached his destination: the front door. Expert hands flitted over the lock, then he paused to listen for any noise in the household.
Once outside, he exhaled the breath he had been holding, a puff of fog hovering by his face. He stood a moment facing the house, as though gathering himself, one hand on the door handle, the other clenching a navy bandana.
Slowly, he released his vice grip on the handle, reaching up to set the band on his forehead. He tucked the ends under a mane of long hair, swiftly tying them. Once satisfied with the secure tightness of the bandana round his head, he turned and blinked in the flood of warm sunlight. It caressed his tired features and danced in his pale eyes.
He stepped off the porch, taking in his surroundings. A vast field descended to the receding shadows of the woodland forest that bordered the property. As he watched, a flock of birds exploded from the trees, arguing over the morning's breakfast. He turned away from the flurry of noisy squawks. Purposefully he followed the shadows around to the back of the house, a dusty trail his feet knew well. He let his footfalls guide him as he experimentally stretched his limbs.
He winced at an especially sharp pain in his shoulder as he attempted to roll it. Memories of the chunin exam, two days ago, broke the dam and flooded his mind. Upon his arrival home, his uncle had set the servants on him with bandages and salves for his wounds. He had refused them all; his bruises would heal. He would not show weakness. So now, as he woke his dozing muscles, he forced the pain from his mind.
Hyuga Neji was strong.
His feet carried him to the training ground to continue his morning routine. For as long as he could remember, his days had always gone like this: rising earlier than even the servants, he set out to train until he could bear it no longer, then staggering inside for breakfast. It wasn't because he particularly liked the mornings – he wouldn't allow such a pleasure – but because it made avoiding the rest of the Hyuga household that much easier. He would not need to see his uncle's face until he had utterly exhausted himself training.
His loathing for the main branch was still brewing in the back of his mind; the very thought of them made his fingers twitch unconsciously. He admitted that the feeling wasn't as strong since his uncle's revelation about his father's death. Now he avoided the others out of routine, and a kind of fear of how his uncle would expect him to act, now that he knew. The absence of hatred left him feeling strangely hollow, like ashes after a fire.
He sighed and forced such thoughts from his mind, instead focusing on his training regime. He began with a jog around the clearing, easing out his muscles and warming from the cool air.
Once he was warmed up, he started throwing punches and kicks at the dummy, focusing on the main charka points. He increased speed gradually until his movements were a blur. Finally he stepped back, having barely broken a sweat. He eyed his handiwork, the stuffed dummy lopsidedly straining at the ropes that bound it to a stump.
Neji clapped his hands together. "Byakugan!" The cry split the air like lightning as he leaped forward again. Using his kekkei-genkai's clarity, he spun rapidly around the dummy, pinpointing charka points and jabbing them with charka-infused fingers. It was not the force of the blow that mattered; a single prod to the exact point could incapacitate an enemy as much as any punch. This gentle fist technique was Neji's specialty; he had taught himself how to manipulate the main branch's ability at a speed impressive to even them. Even in battle he had easily bested the heir to the main branch.
Neji stopped his exercise short, halting suddenly mid-attack. He poked the dummy in the chest before half-closing his eyes and sighing. The crinkled skin around his eyes smoothed as the Byakugan turned off.
He had promised himself not to think of that day. Although in the immediate aftermath he had only felt triumph, feeling for once superior to the main branch, now it pained him. He had seen Hinata suffer through the past month because of injuries he had inflicted on her; and it made him feel…what?
Even through it all, Hinata had found strength somewhere. She had found determination and refused to stop training as she strived to make herself stronger. At first, Neji had scoffed at her efforts, too…but now that he found himself in the same situation, and felt the desperate need to prove himself better after defeat…
After the abrupt conclusion of the exam, and Hinata's reawakening, she had been told of the results. Neji saw her stand just a bit taller when his uncle informed her of her cousin's defeat. He didn't really care anymore at that point, but now he thought she had had every right to say something snide, but she remained silent. That was Hinata's way, and now he was grateful for it.
They had been carefully ignoring each other ever since.
Neji sighed. He didn't know where he stood with Hinata anymore – he tread on cautious ground around her. Even though now he could sympathize with her, it was easier to simply revert to his old role: the cadet branch heir, hating anyone from the main branch. Thinking about it only confused him, as he didn't understand his own feelings. Perhaps it was best to ignore the dilemma completely; a solution would eventually present itself.
He returned to his training, pushing himself to his limits as he worked rapidly through the steps – katas. He concentrated on the fluid, seamless movement from one pose to the next, ignoring the occasional searing burn from his muscles. As he continued to work, it felt as though each wound was being brutally reopened, throbbing to remind him that he wasn't fully healed yet.
Suddenly his leg muscles gave a protest as he leaped forward into a kick; with a gasp he stumbled and fell to his knees, hands splayed in front of him for support. For a dazed moment he crouched there, chest heaving, assessing the pain. Sweat dripped down his face; he must have been training for over an hour, for now he saw the sun hovering above the horizon, heat greedily absorbed by the ground.
Gathering his strength, he rocked forward slightly and then flipped to his feet. He landed lightly before turning to face the dummy once more, forehead creased with determination. He was going easy, he reprimanded himself; usually he was twice as tired at this point.
Neji shifted into his 'ready' position, Byakugan focused on the dummy. His left arm was held out in front of him, palm out; meanwhile his right was bent close to his body. He bent his knees slightly, keeping an equal balance on each foot.
This was a traditional Hyuga battle position; he had adopted it early on and had used it many times in battle. From this starting pose, he could easily attack or defend as it allowed for a wide range of strikes. Neji zeroed in on the particular spot he was aiming for, ready to pounce.
He stiffened as he heard a small noise behind him, swiftly whirling around to guard himself against the intruder. His Byakugan eyes sliced through the surrounding bushes with ease, revealing a figure crouched behind a tree trunk. Silently he berated himself for not keeping a careful watch on his surroundings; aloud, he said coolly, "Lady Hinata."
With a squeak Hinata peered out of hiding. "N-Neji nii-san…"
Neji turned away. No matter the reason she was there, he didn't really care.
Nervously Hinata stepped into the clearing, poking her fingers together. "I-I'm sorry, I d-didn't mean to intrude…"
Neji didn't spare her a glance, once again focused on the training dummy. As he raised his left hand, he sighed, "Is there something you want, Lady Hinata?"
"I-I- um," she stammered, "I-I just want you to know that I'm sorry," she barely uttered, ducking her head shyly. Dark bangs shadowed her eyes from view. Neji paused a moment, still regarding the dummy as he inquired, "Why?"
He did not turn around, poised in the ready position with brow furrowed in concentration.
Though every muscle was tensed, focused on the task before him, a small part of Neji's mind puzzled over Hinata's unusual reply. With his Byakugan he could see her hovering at the edge of the clearing, eyes widening at his question.
"W-Well," she stumbled uncertainly. Her eyes flickered about the clearing before settling on the gravel at her feet. "Y-You're a lot b-better and st-stronger than me, n-nii-san, at everything. Like fighting." She drew an unsteady breath, glancing upward quickly to gauge Neji's reaction. He had not moved, though Hinata's statement had caught his attention. Where, he wondered, was she heading with this?
"A-And I kn-know you're bound to p-protect the m-main branch. To protect m-me." She fiddled with the edge of her coat. "And, well, I kn-know I'm holding you back because-'cause I'm not good enough - and I-I see it in your eyes. I-I'm sorry you're stuck with me - and-and you probably hate me for it."
Finished her speech, Hinata took several shaky breaths. She locked her hands together to disguise the fact that she was trembling. Slowly, she peeked out at her cousin.
"…Nii-san?" she whispered softly, as though not to draw attention to herself.
Nothing went unnoticed by Neji's Byakugan. He could read her as easily as a book, analyzing her movements. He knew she was nervous, her words filled with doubt. She addressed him uncertainly, with more respect than was due; furthermore, she was obviously afraid…of him, of his answer.
With good reason, of course, after he had nearly killed her during the chunin exams, Neji realized bitterly.
Then why was she confessing to him, ensuring a response that would only bring her lower?
Suddenly it hit him. Hinata was confused; she had lost her place with him, and needed to be reminded of it, of where they stood.
Neji lowered his hands, briefly closing his eyes. Hadn't he been wondering the same thing? He shifted into a more casual pose. As he mulled over what Hinata had said, the memory of another's words arose inside of him.
'Fate, destiny…why do you worry about such trivial things? …You're not a failure!'
Naruto's voice echoed in his head. 'Yeah, well, when I'm Hokage, I'll change the Hyuga clan!'
Maybe… Neji clenched his fists at his sides. Maybe change wouldn't have to wait that long. The chunin exams had given him a new perspective. If Hinata had the strength to admit her failings, risking his wrath…maybe he had that strength, too…
Sighing, he deactivated the Byakugan. "Fate is not ours to decide," he murmured finally. From the corner of his eye, he saw Hinata glance up at him, eyes wide. This was obviously not the reaction she had been expecting.
"Wh-What?" she whispered.
Neji turned to face her, holding her pale gaze evenly. "I did not choose to be of the cadet branch, just as you did not choose the main branch. We were fated to be that way; we cannot change it. We can only change…the present."
Hinata continued to stare at him, wariness in her eyes. They still held that fear in their depths, shrouded by confusion.
Neji sighed, breaking away his gaze. "Look," he mumbled, the word feeling thick and awkward on his tongue. He closed his eyes, speaking slowly and forcing the next difficult words to make sense. "I guess what I'm trying to say is… I'm sorry, Lady Hinata. I-I lost control of myself during the chunin exams. I was out of line." Slowly he glanced back up at her; Hinata, too, was avoiding his eyes, nervously fiddling with her fingers.
She took a shuddering breath. "You were right - some of what you said."
There she goes with the inferiority complex again, Neji remarked inwardly as Hinata bowed her head and scuffed a foot on the ground. He immediately banished the snide thought. Be nice. Remember the mission, he reprimanded himself.
Hinata suddenly raised her head, dropping her hands to her sides defiantly. "But…nii-san, I've been trying to change, r-really I have…" A smile touched her lips as she gazed into the distance. "I can be strong…Naruto-kun taught me that."
Neji hesitated a moment before admitting quietly, "Yeah, I think he taught me something, too."
Hinata glanced at him in surprise; their gazes locked. Neji offered a tiny, tentative smile, the first gesture of friendship.
Hinata smiled back, then lowered her eyes shyly. Her hands moved almost magnetically toward each other; then Hinata, as if realizing her return to her nervous habit, stuck her hands behind her back instead.
Yes, Naruto, Neji thought, observing his cousin for once without criticism. You showed me how…to be free.
The silence extended awkwardly, Hinata looking anywhere but her cousin's face. Neji, desperate to stop their spider web-thin bond from snapping, abruptly reached out a hand to grasp Hinata's arm. She flinched away from his touch, and Neji pulled back, afraid he'd gone too far.
"Lady Hinata…" he began, before his mind suddenly went blank. He cast about for words, searching for something, anything to say. "…uh…will you walk with me?" he suggested lamely.
Hinata's eyes widened slightly in surprise, but she nodded. Neji picked a direction and set off into the surrounding forest. He easily found one of the numerous trails winding around the Hyuga compound. Sighing, he allowed the rhythm of movement to soothe his anxiousness. He had never experienced this feeling before, of not knowing what his next move would be. In battle, he could instantly strategize and execute moves; now, however, he was fighting a new battle. The terrain was misted with his confusion; the enemy's powers, unknown. Any wrong step, and he would fall. Friendship, he mused, was the hardest battle of all.
Neji shook his head; he didn't understand, and he hated that. He noticed Hinata was carefully shadowing him. To get his mind off these matters, he gestured for her to walk beside him. Hinata bowed her head in embarrassment, scurrying to keep up.
"N-Neji nii-san."
He glanced over at her; avoiding his eyes, Hinata breathed, "Could – w-would you train me i-in battle so I-I can get stronger?"
He smiled. "…Of course, Lady Hinata."
Again she smiled back at him, and as if this relief gave her courage, she went on, "Nii-san?"
"Yes, Lady Hinata?"
"Please don't call me that, nii-san. It's too formal."
Neji's breath caught in his throat. As a member of the cadet branch, he was required to call Hinata by her title.
"If that is what you wish…Hinata." He tested the word.
The two lapsed into a more comfortable silence, stones crunching beneath their feet. Neji gazed around them.
It truly was turning out to be a beautiful day; the sunlight glanced off the trees, shimmering in pools on the pebbled forest floor. A light breeze had picked up over the course of the morning, and it brushed gently through the trees and bushes, making them wave slightly as the two Hyuga passed. In the surrounding forest Neji perceived an assortment of birds and small animals with his Byakugan. They shied away from the humans' presence, however.
"Nii-san?" Hinata ventured shyly after a long moment. She focused intently on her feet. "I was…just wondering…why?"
Neji glanced sideways at her. "Why what?"
"Wh-Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?"
Neji considered his reply carefully, eyes roving the surrounding trees. A squirrel twittered at them and scuttled further up a pine tree as they passed below.
"…I'm not sure, exactly. But ever since the exam…" Neji shoved his hands in his pockets. He hated trying to decipher his own feelings; even worse were these unknown, confusing emotions running through his head. He shook his head as if to clear it. "…It's complicated. I think I now understand, just a little, what it's like to be in your position. A lot of pressure rests on your shoulders, being the heir to the clan. You are always criticized and put down by Uncle…and I'm sure I didn't help." Neji's mouth twisted into a wry grin. "Naruto…what he said changed me. He said I could change."
He stopped short, glancing over at Hinata again. "Does that make sense?"
Hinata smiled faintly. "I think so." She drew a breath. "Neji nii-san…you know…if it were up to me, I-I wouldn't have given the c-curse mark of the caged bird to-to you o-or a-anyone. I-I'll never use it."
"You are saying it is no longer my duty to protect you."
Hinata, unable to decipher his intention, mumbled cautiously, "…yes."
Neji smirked slightly. "I apologize, then, Hinata." Here she shied away warily. "But I must refuse." He shook his head. "Though I, too, despise the Hyuga traditions, it remains my duty – as your older cousin, and nothing else – to ensure that nothing happens to you."
The fear in Hianta's face melted; turning away to hide her abrupt blush, she murmured, "…Thank you, Neji."
A stick suddenly snapped beneath her feet, startling a bird out of a nearby bush. Hinata leaped back in surprise as the bird hurtled by her face, flapping its wings madly.
"Four birds," Neji said automatically, looking not at the bush but her face. He was grinning.
Hinata, after recovering from her shock, crept nearer to the bush. When she was about a foot away, three more birds burst out, powering for the safety of the sky.
Neji had already started down the path.
Hinata's eyes widened.
"Nii-san!" Neji stopped and glanced over his shoulder at the call. Hinata was crouched beside the bush, eyes intent on whatever she had just spotted. Reminding himself of his new mission, Neji wandered to her side.
"What-" he began, breaking off as his Byakugan caught sight of what was within the bush.
Gently Hinata pried the tangled branches apart, revealing a fifth bird ensnared in the brambles. It beat its wings frantically upon the sight of the two of them, only worsening the tangle. Apparently, it had been caught when it tried to fly away.
"Shh. I won't hurt you." Hinata reached out tentatively with one hand. As Neji looked on, Hinata held her palm flat just out of the bird's reach for it to inspect. Then she stroked its feathers slightly.
At first, the bird struggled against her; slowly, however, it gave in to the hopelessness of its situation and accepted her touch.
When the bird remained still and calm beneath her fingers, Hinata began to push and pry at the surrounding branches. With one hand, however, she had little effect.
"Nii-san-" she whispered, but Neji was already kneeling beside her, clearing away the outer branches so that she could reach farther in.
With a grateful nod Hinata resumed her work, this time untangling the bird with both hands. The branches scraping against her bare arms made her wince; nevertheless, she fought on without a sound.
Neji, too, felt the prick of branches digging into his hands as he held them out of the way, but all of his focus was on the task at hand.
Finally Hinata twisted the last twig free from where it clung to the bird's leg. Exhaling in relief, she pulled back. Instead of flying away, however, the bird hopped onto her palm.
"Oh!" she gasped in surprise, withdrawing her arm from the bush with the bird securely in her hand. She rocked back carefully on her heels, holding out her right hand.
Both Hyuga smiled to themselves for their accomplishment as the bird scuttled up Hinata's arm.
She giggled slightly. "You're welcome."
Cautiously Neji extended his right hand to the bird. It leaped onto his palm, curiously pecking at the bandages. He watched it for a moment, smiling. Then, in one fluid motion, he rose and lifted his arm. The bird seemed to give him a final glance before spreading its wings and taking off.
He watched the shadow flutter away into the clear sky, Hianta beside him.
"Even a caged bird," Neji murmured eventually, "can one day break away…with a little help."
The two shared a friendly smile.
And Neji finally understood; friendship was not a battle or a mission after all. It was free, not to gain, but to give. The only thing that had been holding him back was himself, the ensnaring anger and fear he had held within him.
Neji shielded his eyes, watching the tiny speck disappear into the blue abyss. He, like that bird, was finally free.
The End
o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Please review!
