I happened upon a site full of real life stories, including hilarious stories of infidelity. This little ditty is based on the one that tickled me. Find them (and may others) on this site: notalwaysromantic. Trust me. They're a riot!

It's Hard Working at Nero's

by Lord Divestre Croft

When she first got her part time job in Costa del Sol, Aerith never had any unrealistic thoughts. She knew from the start that it would be a challenge working at Nero's Bed and Breakfast. She only wished that she had been warned about something like this.

As she worked diligently behind the front desk, all dolled up in a rose pink dress, the phone call came. Happy and chipper as her usual self, she quickly picked up.

"Thank you for calling Nero's," Aerith greeted congenially. "How may I help you?"

She heard a tired sigh on the other end.

"Hi, yes," a woman replied. "I have an issue. Your hotel charged our credit card twice?"

Aerith frowned upon hearing this and immediately set to work at the computer. "Alright, ma'am. I understand. If I can have your name, I'll look you up in our system and we can fix this matter."

There was a short pause. Aerith cocked her head, squeezing the phone against her shoulder and ear, waiting for an answer. And when the woman answered, it was less civil than she had hoped or expected.

"Fixed!?" she snapped. "Yeah, you'd better fix it! Your crappy hotel already stiffed us for our room, so there's no way we're paying for it twice! My husband works too hard for his money to be charged double for the likes of you! The very least your joint could've had was a freakin' bar!"

Bed and breakfasts don't usually have bars, do they? Aerith mused.

Nevertheless, she straightened up in her seat, determined to see her job through. She couldn't pick the character of her customers, whether agreeable or insufferable.

"I'm sorry for the dissatisfaction, ma'am," she apologized, "but if I can just have your name and the date you stayed—"

"That's the problem!" she interrupted brusquely. "I was charged on two separate dates. My name is Scarlet Shinra and my husband and I stayed there on April 4th. We got another charge on there for the 20th, and I want this fixed!"

"Yes, ma'am. I understand, ma'am. I'm searching for it right now, ma'am…"

Aerith took a deep breath, reigning herself in. The computer screen gleamed back at her, and she searched through the database. She found both of the dates and scanned the names that were listed. Her heart clenched.

"Okay, I see the problem here. You did indeed stay here on the 4th of April. I'm showing that someone by the name of Rufus Shinra stayed on… the 20th."

There was a moment of dead silence. She swallowed nervously.

"What?" Scarlet replied quietly. "He…"

Her heart plummeted into her stomach. Because she knew something Scarlet didn't. There was another name listed on the screen with Rufus' for April 20th, but it was someone by the name of Elena.

"Um…" she answer hesitantly. "Um…ma'am?"

"I see," Scarlet said coldly. "You've been… very helpful. Thank you, miss."

"You welcome, ma'am," I answer with clenched teeth. "Is there anything else I help you with today—"

Scarlet never heard poor Aerith. At that very moment, she had dropped the phone on the other end, but she had not hung up. Aerith was treated to screeching, yelling, and a slew of profane combos that she could never—for the life of her—have thought up herself. Quickly and awkwardly, she hung up with a trembling hand and tried to return to her work.

"It serves him right!" she declared.

Almost as soon as she had calmed herself, Aerith received another call. Readying herself for another customer, she put on her bright face and forcefully grinned from ear to ear.

"Thank you for calling Nero's. How—"

"I want to talk to your manager, you little fool!" Rufus bellowed. "You worthless, idiotic, little wench… you just flushed my marriage down the toilet, and I am going to sue your-hole-in-the-wall inn for all it's got! Do you understand me? Do you—!?"

As Mr. Shinra continued his tirade, Aerith slowly placed the phone back on the receiver. She got up from her seat and walked away from the front desk. She knew the manager would understand if she took an early coffee break.

And that's a wrap.