A/N: One day, a friend and I were making conversation, and somewhere along the line, my friend said "Digimon shouldn't wear speedos." That just seemed like a great title to me, that I decided to try to find a plot for it. I don't know if this'll turn out to be any good or not, so... here it goes! Hope you all enjoy.
Wargreymon lolled on the extra-soft, cushy couch in what looked like a Green Room.
"I wonder why they call it a Green Room when nothing in it is green?" the dramon-destroyer wondered aloud.
"Yes there is," said Weregarurumon, who just walked in. "That couch you're lying on is green."
The mega digimon didn't reply; he was too busy staring at the werewolf-digimon, who was clad in nothing but a dark blue speedo.
"Er... Weregarurumon?"
"Yeah?"
"Why are you wearing that? Are you going swimming later?"
"What? Oh, you mean my speedo. No, I'm not goin' swimming later."
"Then... why are you wearing it?"
Weregarurumon stared right back and spread his paws. "Why are you asking? Why shouldn't I be wearing a speedo? And what's more, you're wearing a speedo too!" he retorted, gesturing at Wargreymon's black speedo.
"I've always worn a speedo!" the mega digimon objected.
"Yeah, but usually with all your extra armor. Now you're just speedo-clad."
"Speedo-clad, that's funny," said a new voice.
The mega and ultimate turned to see that a champion digimon had entered the Green Room: Exveemon, who was clad in a speedo of his own (bright red, to be precise).
"Is today Speedo Day, or something?" Wargreymon wondered, wrinkling his brow at the blue dragon digimon, who strolled over to the fridge and opened it.
Exveemon peered into the fridge and slammed it shut, whining, "There's no food in there! Or anything to drink! We're all going to starve and thirst to death! Waaaah!"
"Not to worry! I'm here to save the party!" yodulled a fourth voice, and in came Metaletemon, who, like Exveemon, was also wearing a bright red speedo. He was carrying three cases of soda bottles on one shoulder, while his other shoulder held a mountain of pizza boxes.
Exveemon smiled and spread his arms towards the android-digimon. "My hero!"
Metaletemon returned the smile, laid his burdens down on the table, crossed over to the champion digimon, put his arms around his waist, and planted a kiss on his lips.
Wargreymon and Weregarurumon gaped, eyes popping out with shock. "Er, guys?"
"Come and get it while its hot!" Metaletemon said, bringing Exveemon over to the table, where the two of them began feeding slices of very cheesey pepperoni pizza to each other.
The other two digimon stared in shocked disgust; wasn't Metaletemon an evil digimon, and Exveemon a good one? Unless one of them switched sides...
"You know what?" Weregarurumon said to Wargreymon. "I don't wanna know. In fact, what I do want, is pizza." He went over and grabbed himself a couple of slices, careful not to get in the way of the two lovebirds.
"I'm..." said Wargreymon, still staring at the strange spectacle. "I'm not hungry." He slouched back down on the couch.
"Hey, do I smell pizza?"
Wargreymon turned and saw that more had come into the Green Room: Blackwargreymon, Blackweregarurumon, Leomon, and Lobomon, all of them wearing nothing but speedos.
Leomon looked around, seeming a bit taken aback. "Er, guys? Why are we all wearing speedos?"
Blackwargreymon snorted disdainfully at the lion-digimon. "Silly, its so obvious; the author is poking fun at all the fanart that depicts us all in such clothing."
"...What?"
"You can't see the human typing out this entire conversation?"
Leomon sighed. "I think we need to take the crack pipe away, BWGreymon."
Blackwargreymon facepalmed. "I don't smoke cr-"
"Suuuuure," the lion-digimon said.
"Look, there's an author, and there's fanart! Just believe me!" Blackwargreymon sputtered, looking enraged.
"Well what if the author ISN'T poking fun at the fanart? Then what?" Blackweregarurumon wanted to know, leaning against the table while helping himself to some pizza.
"Then we're all just screwed," answered Blackwargreymon.
Lobomon pulled a face, about to take a bite out of his own slice of pizza. "Er, I don't think you should use the word 'screw' when we're all in speedos..."
Just then, Metaltetemon tossed his pizza aside, grabbed Exveemon and started making out like hell with him.
"Oh, there, see? What did I tell you?" said Lobomon, seeming to be the only one present who wasn't startled.
A maniacal cackle rent the air.
"Told you there was an author," Blackwargreymon said, slumping onto the couch next to Wargreymon - who scooted away.
"Ah, what's the matter?" the black dragon digimon sneered at his goody-goody counterpart. "Are you afraid you're going to be suddenly aroused by me?"
"NO," snapped Wargreymon, blushing.
"Oh, come on," Blackwargreymon drawled, laying in a more seductive posistion on the couch. "You know you wanna."
"NO, I don't," Wargreymon shouted, looking green.
"How about you?" Blackweregarurumon said to his own goody-goody counterpart, smiling suggestively.
"No thanks," Weregarurumon answered, scooting away.
"Well, we have pizza and drinks," said Leomon, deciding to steer the conversation in a different direction. "So what are we going to do now?"
"How about a nice movie?" suggested Lobomon.
"Great idea, I've got loads of beach movies, all filled with speedo-clad male digimon!" Blackwargreymon said, producing said items out of nowhere.
"Er, or how about we watch some sports instead?" Leomon said, looking a bit disturbed.
"Sure, all the channels on the TV are showing water sports and diving events," said Blackweregarurumon, "all with speedo-clad male digimon!"
"Or how about we don't watch any of those things and..." Leomon trailed off and turned helplessly to Lobomon, who shrugged.
"Oh I know!" said Blackwargreymon, jumping up. "Let's play Twister!"
"I second the motion!" shouted Blackweregarurumon, also jumping up.
"Nay!" shouted Weregarurumon.
"Nay-AUGH!"
Wargreymon had been about to agree with Weregarurumon when the snogging forms of Exveemon and Metaletemon tumbled over the couch and landed on his lap.
Leomon blinked at the text. "Snogging? What's snogging?" he asked Lobomon.
"Oh, well, here, I'll show you," the wolf-type digimon replied, puckering his lips and bringing them towards Leomons'.
Leomon's eyes widened and his head leaned back a bit, but he made no other resitance when Lobomon kissed him. It didn't last long, though.
"There, you see?" Lobomon asked.
"...Er, yes. Thank you."
"Good."
"Hey that's a great idea!" said Blackwargreymon, who had been watching. "Let's play Spin The Bottle instead!"
"Yes!" shouted Blackweregarurumon, seizing a nearby empty soda bottle and setting it on the ground. He gave it a quick spin... and it landed right on Weregarurumon.
"NO NO!" the blue werewolf digimon protested. "I'm not playing!"
"You have to say you're not playing BEFORE the bottle is spinned!" the black werewolf digimon retorted before planting his lips firmly against Weregarurumon's.
Weregarurumon fought and struggled, but eventually gave up and hung limply as his dark counterpart massaged each other's lips.
"Well, that takes care of that," smiled Blackwargreymon. "Who goes next? Leomon, you want to take a spin?"
"Er... ah, sure, why not?"
And with that, the lion digimon gave the bottle a spin... and it landed on Lobomon. Who patiently puckered his lips.
Leomon sighed and placed his own puckered lips back against Lobomons'. Only this time, the kiss lasted much longer.
Blackwargreymon looked about the Green Room at all the snogging couples, his golden eyes finally settling on Wargreymon, who was still pinned beneath the entwined forms of Exveemon and Metaletemon.
"Welp, I guess we don't have to bother with a bottle for this," the black dramon-destroyer grinned.
Wargreymon groaned but made no fight as Blackwargreymon leaned over Exveemon and Metaletemon and kissed him.
Surprisingly, the kiss was brief.
"There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Blackwargreymon smiled.
Wargreymon was silent for a moment before sighing and shaking his head.
"Digimon shouldn't wear speedos."
A/N: Welp, that's all there is; hope you all enjoyed this and found it amusing. Don't know if I'll continue this or not. Might end up deleting it.