~ * ~
Electricity, eye to eye
Hey, don't I know you?
I can't speak
"What ya doin' Jeannie?" Logan whispered in her ear, his lips brushing softly against her skin. "Ain't it a little late to be workin' so hard?"
"Logan!" Jean exclaimed, drawing a hand to her chest to calm her shaky nerves. "What are you doing? You scared me half to death!"
"Thought you could use some company while you're burnin' the midnight oil."
"I'm fine, but thank you. You don't need to stay with me."
"I wanna stay with you."
"Then make yourself useful. Hand me that vial."
"Which one?" Logan asked, examining the rack of test tubes resting in glossy rows on the counter next to Jean's microscope.
"The clear one with the saline."
"They're all clear."
"It's the-never mind, I'll get it myself," Jean said as she reached over and grabbed the vial, her fingers lightly brushing over his in the process. She nearly jumped at the contact, her entire body tingling from the affect of his skin touching hers. "Really, Logan; you can go to bed," she assured him. "I'm sure you have a long day tomorrow and need your rest."
"So I can dream about you? I'd rather have the real thing."
"Logan. . .you shouldn't talk like that."
"Why not?"
"You know why. I'm with Scott and. . ." she trailed off.
"What? He doesn't want me moving in on 'his girl'? I just wanna keep you company, Jean."
"Then be quiet. I need to concentrate on this."
"What is it?"
"A tissue sample. It's yours actually; we're still trying to figure out how your body can survive with a metal skeleton."
"Just good genes I guess."
"There's a scientific explanation; I just need to find it," Jean argued, her brow furrowing as she studied the slide. "Just stay silent and I'll get this done faster."
"As long as I can look at that pretty face of yours, I'll be as quiet as a mouse."
Jean shot him a smile and turned back to her microscope, intent on finding the secret of Logan's powers.
~ * ~
Stripped my senses
On the spot
I've never been defenseless
I can't even make sense of this
You speak and I don't hear a word
Two hours later Jean realized she was getting nowhere and was just wasting precious time she'd rather spend sleeping. Okay, she was lying; yeah, sleep would be nice, but watching Logan wasn't so bad either. He'd kept his promise and been "as quiet as a mouse," but he'd been a constant distraction since he'd walked in her laboratory door. She hadn't been able to take her eyes off him from the minute he'd walked into the room: the way his muscles rippled under his skin every time he moved; the way his jeans clung oh-so-right to his hips, the way his hair kept falling forward over his forehead and she had force herself not to brush it back. She'd never been like this before over a guy; so distracted and obsessed-but turned on at the same time. All she wanted to do was rip his clothes off; longed to imitate a scene from one of those cheesy soap operas Rogue loved so much, fling all the supplies off her lab table and make love to him right then and there. What was wrong with her? She already had a boyfriend, no a husband; someone who made her feel loved and supported and stable. It was okay to look right? As long as she didn't touch. But she wanted to do more than look; she wanted to bite and kiss and caress and. . . "Stop," she told herself. "Focus. You have a job to do and it needs to get done," she continued, rubbing her tired eyes with one hand and reaching for her microscope with the other.
"Red?" Logan asked. "Red, you there?"
"Huh?" Jean responded, having no idea what he was talking about.
"Somethin' botherin' you Red?" Logan questioned. "I've been tryin' to get your attention for the last five minutes, but you've been off in another world. Is somethin' wrong?"
"Why do you say that?" Jean responded, slipping another slide onto the microscope.
"Don't know. I can just. . .sense it on you. Wanna talk about it?"
"Not particularly. There's nothing wrong."
"I know that's not true."
"Are you accusing me of lying?"
"I'm accusing you of evading the question. Now fess up; what's got you all worried?"
"That I want to jump your bones, but I can't because my husband would kill me," she thought to herself. "It's nothing," she said instead. "I'm just a little frustrated with Scott."
"What did the Boy Scout do this time?"
Jean sighed, pushing the microscope away for the final time, knowing she wasn't going to get anything accomplished tonight, not with Logan so close by.
"It's not what he did, it's more like what he didn't do. . .You wouldn't really understand."
"Try me."
"Logan, no offense, but you've never been married."
"No, I've never been married, but that doesn't mean I don't understand relationships."
Jean sat down on the stool across from Logan, kicking off her high heels as she leaned back. He took one of her feet and put it in his lap, his fingers slowly kneading the tension out of her arch.
"God, that feels wonderful," Jean gasped, throwing her head back in surrender. Reaching up she pulled the pins out of her hair, letting her glorious mane of red curls tumble halfway down her back.
She was gorgeous, unbelievably gorgeous-he couldn't take his eyes off her; off her creamy skin and lush curves; the way her eyes closed in surrender as he massaged her foot. She was too good for him, and too smart to stay with Scott. But no matter the differences between them, he needed her; needed her soothe away the nightmares that haunted him; needed her to hold him at night when he was tired or scared or losing his grip on reality; needed her to remind him that even someone as wild as him had a heart underneath the pain. And he knew she needed him too; needed him to understand her, not to judge her, to let her be who she wanted to be, not who others thought she was. And right now she needed him to give her advice on how to fix her relationship with the love of her life. "So," he started. "What's Scott done that has you in such a bother?"
"He doesn't listen, Logan. Not like you do. He just nods and smiles and grunts every now and then. I mean, I know he hears what I'm saying, but I don't think he's listening to what I'm saying. When I'm with him. . .I feel like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not. To him I'm still the loyal, noble, good Jean Grey I was at sixteen. He doesn't see that I'm not that naïve girl anymore; I'm a woman now, and I've changed."
"Have you talked to him about this?"
"Of course I have; or at least I've tried to. But he's not hearing what I'm trying to tell him. I'm not fragile; I don't need him to save me. I'm a big girl now and I can take care of myself, on my own; and when I need help I'm more than happy to ask for it. But he doesn't see that; all he sees is this little girl who needs to be rescued all the time. But I can control my powers, control the voices in my head; I don't need him to fight my battles for me anymore."
"So why do you stay with him, if he isn't there for you?" he asked, pausing for a moment to ask his question.
"He-Logan don't stop. That feels too good," she said and he picked her foot back up and continued the massage. "And the answer to your question is: I stay with him because I love him."
"Do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Love Scott."
"Of course I do! I wouldn't have married him if I didn't!"
Logan shook his head, "Okay, let me rephrase: are you in love with Scott?"
Jean paused for a minute, contemplating his question, "I don't know," she finally responded. "It's all so confusing; sometimes I wonder if I'm in love with him, or in love with the idea of loving him. He's been a part of my life for so long, I can't imagine life without him. But you're right; I don't know if I love him out of passion and longing, or because it's a habit."
"I know a way to find out."
"What?"
"Kiss me. Kiss me and see if it's love you feel for him, or loyalty. See if it's him you really want-or someone else."
~ * ~
What would happen if we kissed
Would your tongue slip past my lips
Would you run away, would you stay
Or would I melt into you
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust
Spontaneously combust
"I dare you to kiss me." Logan repeated, scooting a bit closer to her.
"What?!" Jean gasped.
"You heard me. I dare you to kiss me."
"Logan, you know Scott and I are married-."
"This isn't about Scott. It's about you and me."
"That would be adultery, and I'm not about to be unfaithful to my husband."
"You're already unfaithful in your mind. Why not go through with what you've been wanting so bad. It's just one kiss, nothing more. To see if all those fantasies of yours have some basis in reality."
"How. . . how. . .why would you think I'm fantasizing about you?" she finally asked.
"You think I can't see your eyes follow my every move? The jealousy every time I have a date or meet someone new? I see it 'cause it's the same way I see you. Every time you smile at Scott or look at him with those big eyes of yours, it's like a stab to the heart. And I know you know what I'm talking about 'cause I see the same reaction in you."
Jean stared at him for a moment, her eyes taking in the man in front of her. He was so unique, so different than Scott; he was honest with her, told her exactly how he felt-she knew where she stood with him. Scott, well Scott preferred to work things out on his own; he never troubled her with his problems, never told her how he really felt about anything. Yeah, she knew he loved her, but she'd never really known why.
"Okay," she relented. "One kiss. Just to see where we stand. And then I'm going to bed."
"You've got a deal," he smiled, her resolve weakening as that smile made her ache in places she forgot she still possessed.
He moved even closer to her, so close her breasts rubbed against his chest and she could feel his warm breath against her cheek. "You ready?" he whispered.
"Whenever you are," she responded, her voice shaky with emotion. Slowly, so slowly it was almost torturous, his lips met hers and she felt like sparks like she'd never felt before. His tongue slid into her mouth, dancing with her own, his arms wrapping around her slender figure and caressing the flesh of her back. He tasted her sweetness and reveled in the feeling of holding her, kissing her, being with her-because it was a feeling he wasn't sure he'd ever know again.
~ * ~
The room is spinning out of control
Act like you didn't notice
Brushed my hand
She was first to break the kiss, pushing out of his arms and stepping back, rubbing her hand furiously across her mouth. She was still disheveled and out of sort, but together enough to know what she'd done was wrong. "There," she spat out. "We kissed, and surprise, surprise, nothing's changed. I'm still married to Scott and you're still lusting after something you can't have."
"Something I can't have?" he questioned, his eyes sparkling. "I wouldn't go that far," he added, lightly running his fingers across the back of her hand.
She snatched her hand away as if she'd been burned, rubbing it against the cloth of her shirt.. "Yes, Logan," she hissed. "I'm something you can't have. I took your dare, I kissed you. . .but my decision is final. I'm staying with Scott."
"You know that wasn't what this was about."
"So what was about it about? Did you really think I would kiss you and realize I love you, not Scott? That I would forsake the vows I made in front of God and all the people I love and-."
"Jean!" Logan interrupted. "Calm down." He took a step closer, gently wrapping his arms around and pulling her against his chest. Capturing her chin in his hand, he tenderly raised face so their eyes met, two tear-filled pools of blue-green meeting his own.
"Why are you doing this to me, Logan?"
"Doin' what?"
"Making me feel things I can't feel; making me want things I can't have. . ."
"So you do want me."
"You know I do. I can't look at you without wanting to rip your clothes off. But it's not just that. You. . .understand me. I feel safe with you. Safe. . . but alive. But none of that matters; I'm married to someone else, and I'm staying true to my vows."
"But you don't want to."
"It's what I should do."
"You don't always have to do what you're supposed to do. Sometimes you need to do what feels right."
"This feels right. . .but it's so wrong."
"So be a bad girl for once, Jeannie. Give in and let go."
And she did, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him long and hard and passionately. He smiled against the seam of her lips, pulling her closer and enjoying the depths of her mouth, the softness of her hair, the silkiness of her skin. He knew he was losing himself in her, but he just didn't care.
~ * ~
Forbidden fruit
Ring on my finger
You're such a moral, moral man
You throw it away, no question
Will I pretend I'm innocent
It was wrong and they both knew it, but that didn't stop them from going farther. Soon he found himself in his bed in his bedroom with Jean straddling him, her tongue tracing a slow pattern over his bare chest. They were both nearly naked, their clothes lying in scattered piles throughout the room. He looked up at her, always freshly amazed by her beauty: her flushed, translucent skin; her passion clouded sea-green eyes; her lush curves and toned limbs. With her flame red hair falling across her bare breasts, she looked like some kind of mythological goddess using her powers of seduction to get him right where she wanted him. As she reached up to brush a lock of hair off her face, her diamond ring caught in the light, twinkling and sparkling and shooting prisms through the dimness. The ring was like a bucket of cold water; the enormity of what he was doing suddenly dawned: he was committing adultery. Well, he wasn't, but Jean: good, honest, loyal Jean was cheating on a man she'd been with for the majority of her life.
"Jeannie," he whispered brokenly. "Jeannie, we need to. . ." he started, moaning when her fingers delved into the thin layer of cotton covering his anatomy. "Jeannie" he started again, capturing her exploring hands in his own. "We need to stop."
"Why?" she asked seductively, her tongue tracing the ridged planes of his abdomen. "We're just getting started."
"'Cause this is wrong; I was wrong. You're married-and you're going to regret this in the morning," he gasped as her fingers once again disappeared into the little clothing that separated them.
"No," Jean whispered. "You were right, so right. I'm not doing this to hurt Scott; it's not a wake up call that I'm unhappy. I'm doing this because it's what I want to do. I want to be with you Logan; I want to feel how you make me feel. I want to feel wanted. . .needed. . .alive. Please, make me feel alive?"
How could he refuse her? He'd been in love with since the minute he'd laid eyes on her all those years ago. He'd watched her grow and mature and love someone else; stood by while she married Scott and tore his heart in two. But he'd also watched the steady break down of their marriage; seen Scott withdraw into himself, push Jean away, ignore the fact that she was changing into someone else. Scott didn't appreciate Jean's intelligence or sense of humor or loving heart; all he saw was the beauty he'd had on his arm since he was sixteen, the trophy he wasn't ready to let go of. But Logan-he loved Jean, wanted to spend the rest of his life loving her and treasuring her and cherishing her; and he sure as hell wasn't about to pass up the chance to truly be with her.
"Jeannie, are you sure?" he asked a final time.
"Positive. Just kiss me Logan, kiss me and set me free."
He did more than kiss her that night; he touched and caressed and made her feel like she'd never felt before. Foreplay was non-existent to Scott, but Logan-the way he seemed to worship her body made her feel like some kind of sacred temple. She writhed in his arms, whimpering softly as his tongue delved into her navel before traveling lower. She was moaning loudly now, her fingers clutching his hair and her head tossing from side to side. He kissed her once more before entering her, his tongue wrapping itself around hers as she adjusted to him. Then he began to move, slowly at first, but faster and faster until she forgot who she was and that she had a husband sleeping alone tonight in her bed. She came apart in his arms, her cries and moans equaling his groans; and just as she reached passion's peak she could have sworn she heard him whisper, "I love you, Jean" before collapsed in her arms.
~ * ~
I struggle with myself again
Quickly the walls are crumbling
Don't know if I can turn away
They lay there together, neither of them able to move; she lay on top of him, one of his arms wrapped around her and her head pillowed on his chest.
"I heard you say you love me," she accused, raising her eyes to meet his own. "Is that true?"
"You know it is," he said after a moment, studying her face for any sign of her feelings for him.
"It can't be this way."
"What way?"
"The two of us. . .a couple. . . an affair. This was a one time thing. You know, no strings, no emotions involved."
"Can you honestly say you don't have feelings for me?"
"Not the kind you want."
"Look who's lying now."
"Logan-."
"Shh," he whispered, pressing a finger to her lips. "I'm not asking you to leave Scott or stop loving him. I just want you to admit you love me too-in the way I want you to."
Jean struggled to rise, but Logan caught her in his arms, pulling her back down. "Oh, no you don't," he growled. "You can't run, Jeannie. Not when I'm gonna be waitin' around every turn to catch you."
Jean sighed in surrender, "I love you, Logan. I admit it, I do. But that doesn't change anything. I still love Scott, and I'm still staying with him."
"I knew you would. But I wanna have you too."
"An affair?"
"Whatever I can get. I'm not a guy to grovel, but I'd take anything if it means being close to you."
"I can't. . ."
"Can't what?"
"I can't stay away. I want to; I want to push you out of my mind and pretend us-this doesn't exist, but I can't. Not when deep down in my heart I know I want to be with you."
"Then stay, let us be whatever it is we are. Don't fight what we have, 'cause you're not going to win in the end."
She looked at him, her tear-filled eyes pools of shimmering sea green, "This is it," she said tearfully. "One last kiss before I go back to Scott." Turning slightly she kissed him feather light, barely brushing his lips with her own. Tightening his grip on her he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss, holding onto her for dear life. She pulled away and rose in all her glory to find her clothes and dress, awkwardly knotting her shirt at the waist because he'd ripped the buttons off in his haste to get her naked.
"Good bye, Logan," she whispered, brushing away the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Thank you for tonight; I'll never forget it." she added softly, shooting him a sad smile before walking out the door.
He rolled over, hugging a pillow to his chest in place of his lost love. Yeah, she said this was it, but he knew she'd be back for more. They weren't over, not by a long shot; not if he bet his very life on it.
~ * ~
Author's Note:
Couple things: One, this story fits into the Movieverse, but the story arcs that are going to follow fit better into the Comic so I'm keeping it there. But, I am deleting Wolverine's entire Japanese past; think of him as he was characterized in the film. Second, this is my first song fic, and I'm still not sure I'm doing it right. Please, please, please review! Let me know if this is okay! Also, this song is one of my favorites, "What Would Happen" by Meredith Brooks; she wrote it, I'm just borrowing it. Third, I'm not sure if Jean and Logan are going to stay together, or if she'll end up with Scott. Let me know what you think. Anyway, enjoy!
Electricity, eye to eye
Hey, don't I know you?
I can't speak
"What ya doin' Jeannie?" Logan whispered in her ear, his lips brushing softly against her skin. "Ain't it a little late to be workin' so hard?"
"Logan!" Jean exclaimed, drawing a hand to her chest to calm her shaky nerves. "What are you doing? You scared me half to death!"
"Thought you could use some company while you're burnin' the midnight oil."
"I'm fine, but thank you. You don't need to stay with me."
"I wanna stay with you."
"Then make yourself useful. Hand me that vial."
"Which one?" Logan asked, examining the rack of test tubes resting in glossy rows on the counter next to Jean's microscope.
"The clear one with the saline."
"They're all clear."
"It's the-never mind, I'll get it myself," Jean said as she reached over and grabbed the vial, her fingers lightly brushing over his in the process. She nearly jumped at the contact, her entire body tingling from the affect of his skin touching hers. "Really, Logan; you can go to bed," she assured him. "I'm sure you have a long day tomorrow and need your rest."
"So I can dream about you? I'd rather have the real thing."
"Logan. . .you shouldn't talk like that."
"Why not?"
"You know why. I'm with Scott and. . ." she trailed off.
"What? He doesn't want me moving in on 'his girl'? I just wanna keep you company, Jean."
"Then be quiet. I need to concentrate on this."
"What is it?"
"A tissue sample. It's yours actually; we're still trying to figure out how your body can survive with a metal skeleton."
"Just good genes I guess."
"There's a scientific explanation; I just need to find it," Jean argued, her brow furrowing as she studied the slide. "Just stay silent and I'll get this done faster."
"As long as I can look at that pretty face of yours, I'll be as quiet as a mouse."
Jean shot him a smile and turned back to her microscope, intent on finding the secret of Logan's powers.
~ * ~
Stripped my senses
On the spot
I've never been defenseless
I can't even make sense of this
You speak and I don't hear a word
Two hours later Jean realized she was getting nowhere and was just wasting precious time she'd rather spend sleeping. Okay, she was lying; yeah, sleep would be nice, but watching Logan wasn't so bad either. He'd kept his promise and been "as quiet as a mouse," but he'd been a constant distraction since he'd walked in her laboratory door. She hadn't been able to take her eyes off him from the minute he'd walked into the room: the way his muscles rippled under his skin every time he moved; the way his jeans clung oh-so-right to his hips, the way his hair kept falling forward over his forehead and she had force herself not to brush it back. She'd never been like this before over a guy; so distracted and obsessed-but turned on at the same time. All she wanted to do was rip his clothes off; longed to imitate a scene from one of those cheesy soap operas Rogue loved so much, fling all the supplies off her lab table and make love to him right then and there. What was wrong with her? She already had a boyfriend, no a husband; someone who made her feel loved and supported and stable. It was okay to look right? As long as she didn't touch. But she wanted to do more than look; she wanted to bite and kiss and caress and. . . "Stop," she told herself. "Focus. You have a job to do and it needs to get done," she continued, rubbing her tired eyes with one hand and reaching for her microscope with the other.
"Red?" Logan asked. "Red, you there?"
"Huh?" Jean responded, having no idea what he was talking about.
"Somethin' botherin' you Red?" Logan questioned. "I've been tryin' to get your attention for the last five minutes, but you've been off in another world. Is somethin' wrong?"
"Why do you say that?" Jean responded, slipping another slide onto the microscope.
"Don't know. I can just. . .sense it on you. Wanna talk about it?"
"Not particularly. There's nothing wrong."
"I know that's not true."
"Are you accusing me of lying?"
"I'm accusing you of evading the question. Now fess up; what's got you all worried?"
"That I want to jump your bones, but I can't because my husband would kill me," she thought to herself. "It's nothing," she said instead. "I'm just a little frustrated with Scott."
"What did the Boy Scout do this time?"
Jean sighed, pushing the microscope away for the final time, knowing she wasn't going to get anything accomplished tonight, not with Logan so close by.
"It's not what he did, it's more like what he didn't do. . .You wouldn't really understand."
"Try me."
"Logan, no offense, but you've never been married."
"No, I've never been married, but that doesn't mean I don't understand relationships."
Jean sat down on the stool across from Logan, kicking off her high heels as she leaned back. He took one of her feet and put it in his lap, his fingers slowly kneading the tension out of her arch.
"God, that feels wonderful," Jean gasped, throwing her head back in surrender. Reaching up she pulled the pins out of her hair, letting her glorious mane of red curls tumble halfway down her back.
She was gorgeous, unbelievably gorgeous-he couldn't take his eyes off her; off her creamy skin and lush curves; the way her eyes closed in surrender as he massaged her foot. She was too good for him, and too smart to stay with Scott. But no matter the differences between them, he needed her; needed her soothe away the nightmares that haunted him; needed her to hold him at night when he was tired or scared or losing his grip on reality; needed her to remind him that even someone as wild as him had a heart underneath the pain. And he knew she needed him too; needed him to understand her, not to judge her, to let her be who she wanted to be, not who others thought she was. And right now she needed him to give her advice on how to fix her relationship with the love of her life. "So," he started. "What's Scott done that has you in such a bother?"
"He doesn't listen, Logan. Not like you do. He just nods and smiles and grunts every now and then. I mean, I know he hears what I'm saying, but I don't think he's listening to what I'm saying. When I'm with him. . .I feel like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not. To him I'm still the loyal, noble, good Jean Grey I was at sixteen. He doesn't see that I'm not that naïve girl anymore; I'm a woman now, and I've changed."
"Have you talked to him about this?"
"Of course I have; or at least I've tried to. But he's not hearing what I'm trying to tell him. I'm not fragile; I don't need him to save me. I'm a big girl now and I can take care of myself, on my own; and when I need help I'm more than happy to ask for it. But he doesn't see that; all he sees is this little girl who needs to be rescued all the time. But I can control my powers, control the voices in my head; I don't need him to fight my battles for me anymore."
"So why do you stay with him, if he isn't there for you?" he asked, pausing for a moment to ask his question.
"He-Logan don't stop. That feels too good," she said and he picked her foot back up and continued the massage. "And the answer to your question is: I stay with him because I love him."
"Do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Love Scott."
"Of course I do! I wouldn't have married him if I didn't!"
Logan shook his head, "Okay, let me rephrase: are you in love with Scott?"
Jean paused for a minute, contemplating his question, "I don't know," she finally responded. "It's all so confusing; sometimes I wonder if I'm in love with him, or in love with the idea of loving him. He's been a part of my life for so long, I can't imagine life without him. But you're right; I don't know if I love him out of passion and longing, or because it's a habit."
"I know a way to find out."
"What?"
"Kiss me. Kiss me and see if it's love you feel for him, or loyalty. See if it's him you really want-or someone else."
~ * ~
What would happen if we kissed
Would your tongue slip past my lips
Would you run away, would you stay
Or would I melt into you
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust
Spontaneously combust
"I dare you to kiss me." Logan repeated, scooting a bit closer to her.
"What?!" Jean gasped.
"You heard me. I dare you to kiss me."
"Logan, you know Scott and I are married-."
"This isn't about Scott. It's about you and me."
"That would be adultery, and I'm not about to be unfaithful to my husband."
"You're already unfaithful in your mind. Why not go through with what you've been wanting so bad. It's just one kiss, nothing more. To see if all those fantasies of yours have some basis in reality."
"How. . . how. . .why would you think I'm fantasizing about you?" she finally asked.
"You think I can't see your eyes follow my every move? The jealousy every time I have a date or meet someone new? I see it 'cause it's the same way I see you. Every time you smile at Scott or look at him with those big eyes of yours, it's like a stab to the heart. And I know you know what I'm talking about 'cause I see the same reaction in you."
Jean stared at him for a moment, her eyes taking in the man in front of her. He was so unique, so different than Scott; he was honest with her, told her exactly how he felt-she knew where she stood with him. Scott, well Scott preferred to work things out on his own; he never troubled her with his problems, never told her how he really felt about anything. Yeah, she knew he loved her, but she'd never really known why.
"Okay," she relented. "One kiss. Just to see where we stand. And then I'm going to bed."
"You've got a deal," he smiled, her resolve weakening as that smile made her ache in places she forgot she still possessed.
He moved even closer to her, so close her breasts rubbed against his chest and she could feel his warm breath against her cheek. "You ready?" he whispered.
"Whenever you are," she responded, her voice shaky with emotion. Slowly, so slowly it was almost torturous, his lips met hers and she felt like sparks like she'd never felt before. His tongue slid into her mouth, dancing with her own, his arms wrapping around her slender figure and caressing the flesh of her back. He tasted her sweetness and reveled in the feeling of holding her, kissing her, being with her-because it was a feeling he wasn't sure he'd ever know again.
~ * ~
The room is spinning out of control
Act like you didn't notice
Brushed my hand
She was first to break the kiss, pushing out of his arms and stepping back, rubbing her hand furiously across her mouth. She was still disheveled and out of sort, but together enough to know what she'd done was wrong. "There," she spat out. "We kissed, and surprise, surprise, nothing's changed. I'm still married to Scott and you're still lusting after something you can't have."
"Something I can't have?" he questioned, his eyes sparkling. "I wouldn't go that far," he added, lightly running his fingers across the back of her hand.
She snatched her hand away as if she'd been burned, rubbing it against the cloth of her shirt.. "Yes, Logan," she hissed. "I'm something you can't have. I took your dare, I kissed you. . .but my decision is final. I'm staying with Scott."
"You know that wasn't what this was about."
"So what was about it about? Did you really think I would kiss you and realize I love you, not Scott? That I would forsake the vows I made in front of God and all the people I love and-."
"Jean!" Logan interrupted. "Calm down." He took a step closer, gently wrapping his arms around and pulling her against his chest. Capturing her chin in his hand, he tenderly raised face so their eyes met, two tear-filled pools of blue-green meeting his own.
"Why are you doing this to me, Logan?"
"Doin' what?"
"Making me feel things I can't feel; making me want things I can't have. . ."
"So you do want me."
"You know I do. I can't look at you without wanting to rip your clothes off. But it's not just that. You. . .understand me. I feel safe with you. Safe. . . but alive. But none of that matters; I'm married to someone else, and I'm staying true to my vows."
"But you don't want to."
"It's what I should do."
"You don't always have to do what you're supposed to do. Sometimes you need to do what feels right."
"This feels right. . .but it's so wrong."
"So be a bad girl for once, Jeannie. Give in and let go."
And she did, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him long and hard and passionately. He smiled against the seam of her lips, pulling her closer and enjoying the depths of her mouth, the softness of her hair, the silkiness of her skin. He knew he was losing himself in her, but he just didn't care.
~ * ~
Forbidden fruit
Ring on my finger
You're such a moral, moral man
You throw it away, no question
Will I pretend I'm innocent
It was wrong and they both knew it, but that didn't stop them from going farther. Soon he found himself in his bed in his bedroom with Jean straddling him, her tongue tracing a slow pattern over his bare chest. They were both nearly naked, their clothes lying in scattered piles throughout the room. He looked up at her, always freshly amazed by her beauty: her flushed, translucent skin; her passion clouded sea-green eyes; her lush curves and toned limbs. With her flame red hair falling across her bare breasts, she looked like some kind of mythological goddess using her powers of seduction to get him right where she wanted him. As she reached up to brush a lock of hair off her face, her diamond ring caught in the light, twinkling and sparkling and shooting prisms through the dimness. The ring was like a bucket of cold water; the enormity of what he was doing suddenly dawned: he was committing adultery. Well, he wasn't, but Jean: good, honest, loyal Jean was cheating on a man she'd been with for the majority of her life.
"Jeannie," he whispered brokenly. "Jeannie, we need to. . ." he started, moaning when her fingers delved into the thin layer of cotton covering his anatomy. "Jeannie" he started again, capturing her exploring hands in his own. "We need to stop."
"Why?" she asked seductively, her tongue tracing the ridged planes of his abdomen. "We're just getting started."
"'Cause this is wrong; I was wrong. You're married-and you're going to regret this in the morning," he gasped as her fingers once again disappeared into the little clothing that separated them.
"No," Jean whispered. "You were right, so right. I'm not doing this to hurt Scott; it's not a wake up call that I'm unhappy. I'm doing this because it's what I want to do. I want to be with you Logan; I want to feel how you make me feel. I want to feel wanted. . .needed. . .alive. Please, make me feel alive?"
How could he refuse her? He'd been in love with since the minute he'd laid eyes on her all those years ago. He'd watched her grow and mature and love someone else; stood by while she married Scott and tore his heart in two. But he'd also watched the steady break down of their marriage; seen Scott withdraw into himself, push Jean away, ignore the fact that she was changing into someone else. Scott didn't appreciate Jean's intelligence or sense of humor or loving heart; all he saw was the beauty he'd had on his arm since he was sixteen, the trophy he wasn't ready to let go of. But Logan-he loved Jean, wanted to spend the rest of his life loving her and treasuring her and cherishing her; and he sure as hell wasn't about to pass up the chance to truly be with her.
"Jeannie, are you sure?" he asked a final time.
"Positive. Just kiss me Logan, kiss me and set me free."
He did more than kiss her that night; he touched and caressed and made her feel like she'd never felt before. Foreplay was non-existent to Scott, but Logan-the way he seemed to worship her body made her feel like some kind of sacred temple. She writhed in his arms, whimpering softly as his tongue delved into her navel before traveling lower. She was moaning loudly now, her fingers clutching his hair and her head tossing from side to side. He kissed her once more before entering her, his tongue wrapping itself around hers as she adjusted to him. Then he began to move, slowly at first, but faster and faster until she forgot who she was and that she had a husband sleeping alone tonight in her bed. She came apart in his arms, her cries and moans equaling his groans; and just as she reached passion's peak she could have sworn she heard him whisper, "I love you, Jean" before collapsed in her arms.
~ * ~
I struggle with myself again
Quickly the walls are crumbling
Don't know if I can turn away
They lay there together, neither of them able to move; she lay on top of him, one of his arms wrapped around her and her head pillowed on his chest.
"I heard you say you love me," she accused, raising her eyes to meet his own. "Is that true?"
"You know it is," he said after a moment, studying her face for any sign of her feelings for him.
"It can't be this way."
"What way?"
"The two of us. . .a couple. . . an affair. This was a one time thing. You know, no strings, no emotions involved."
"Can you honestly say you don't have feelings for me?"
"Not the kind you want."
"Look who's lying now."
"Logan-."
"Shh," he whispered, pressing a finger to her lips. "I'm not asking you to leave Scott or stop loving him. I just want you to admit you love me too-in the way I want you to."
Jean struggled to rise, but Logan caught her in his arms, pulling her back down. "Oh, no you don't," he growled. "You can't run, Jeannie. Not when I'm gonna be waitin' around every turn to catch you."
Jean sighed in surrender, "I love you, Logan. I admit it, I do. But that doesn't change anything. I still love Scott, and I'm still staying with him."
"I knew you would. But I wanna have you too."
"An affair?"
"Whatever I can get. I'm not a guy to grovel, but I'd take anything if it means being close to you."
"I can't. . ."
"Can't what?"
"I can't stay away. I want to; I want to push you out of my mind and pretend us-this doesn't exist, but I can't. Not when deep down in my heart I know I want to be with you."
"Then stay, let us be whatever it is we are. Don't fight what we have, 'cause you're not going to win in the end."
She looked at him, her tear-filled eyes pools of shimmering sea green, "This is it," she said tearfully. "One last kiss before I go back to Scott." Turning slightly she kissed him feather light, barely brushing his lips with her own. Tightening his grip on her he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss, holding onto her for dear life. She pulled away and rose in all her glory to find her clothes and dress, awkwardly knotting her shirt at the waist because he'd ripped the buttons off in his haste to get her naked.
"Good bye, Logan," she whispered, brushing away the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Thank you for tonight; I'll never forget it." she added softly, shooting him a sad smile before walking out the door.
He rolled over, hugging a pillow to his chest in place of his lost love. Yeah, she said this was it, but he knew she'd be back for more. They weren't over, not by a long shot; not if he bet his very life on it.
~ * ~
Author's Note:
Couple things: One, this story fits into the Movieverse, but the story arcs that are going to follow fit better into the Comic so I'm keeping it there. But, I am deleting Wolverine's entire Japanese past; think of him as he was characterized in the film. Second, this is my first song fic, and I'm still not sure I'm doing it right. Please, please, please review! Let me know if this is okay! Also, this song is one of my favorites, "What Would Happen" by Meredith Brooks; she wrote it, I'm just borrowing it. Third, I'm not sure if Jean and Logan are going to stay together, or if she'll end up with Scott. Let me know what you think. Anyway, enjoy!