Kitty stared at herself in her mirror. So far, she had just gotten finished moving her bedset, toiletries, and her other things out of hero old room and into her new one that she would be sharing with 3 other girls.

It would be different, she had to admit.

This year was her possibly last year there at Xavier's School for the gifted. The only way she would stay there was if she decided to take online college courses, or take private lessons from some of the authorized teachers there.

If she didn't…if she went to a university out in the middle of who-knows-where, became valedictorian, and got an average job at Starbucks, she would be going among people who wouldn't want her there, even if they didn't know it yet.; people who would have no clue she was a mutant, but openly hate mutants, making it all the harder for her.

And something deep down in the pits of her stomach churned as she thought about the years of peace, warmth, and, above all, safety, she had spent here at the institute. Was she even ready for it? Was she ready to face the real world with a tough skin? Would she be prepared to keep walking by on the street while angry and criticizing pedestrians held picket signs with mutant slurs stamped across them? Could she hold her tongue when the subject of mutant freedom and the constant neglection of mutant registration came up in the Political Science course she was planning on taking? Could she dare watch a kid, or teenager, or maybe even the average-joe get circled and mobbed by a group that held pure hatred for him, simply because he had fur on his body, or lime green skin, or orange eyes that held no irises?

Would she, now known as a hero to many of the students of the school, be able to walk away from the scenarios of disaster that were all too real for the everyday mutant?

And what would she do if she were the one accused, beaten, and bruised, if she should be the one hunted down and persecuted like the unsuspecting victims many of them were?

Would she use her hidden powers in an act of self-defense, risking the years of hard-earned work to something less rewarding, and, in a way, even punishing? Or would she let herself become horrendously scarred, paralyzed; would she allow that bullet to pass through her flesh because of the life it saved…even when hers was clearly lost?

Kitty flattened the creases in the green and white striped tank top and looked down at her faded jeans that sported cut and shredded material where it should have covered her knees.

She could take losing to a powerful mutant: Magneto, the Pheonix force that had destroyed nearly everything in her recent appearance, even maybe Logan…yeah, she could handle not being as good as him.

But letting a close-minded human stab a knife through her in the dead of night, just because he thought it would be one less problem for him…could she really let that happen? Where were the lines between doing the right thing, doing the beneficial thing, being a pacifist…and being a push-over? Being…afraid?

And this wasn't the first time Kitty doubted herself, either. She had thought about it deeply. And so many memories came flooding back like the waters that overtook Ms. Grey's body nearly 8 months ago. For one, there was Rogue…or "Marie" as she liked to be called now. Kitty had been the best of friends with Bobby years before Marie had shown up. But then, once Marie came, it was all over between her and Bobby's relationship. She wasn't really sure if it were necessarily her fault…but it felt like it. Of course, some blame had to be put on Marie. Marie thought that Bobby would go after a girl whom he could touch, which made the girl stream doubt and insecurity and distrustfulness into their relationship. Those things alone could crush any type of acquaintance really. And Marie could be fussy and…overbearing.

When Bobby first started dating Marie, he had come to Kitty with all of their problems. He had hoped that she, a good friend who happened to be a female, could help him understand why Marie would get angered by the simple suggestion to wear something different.

But that stopped happening. Marie thought that all of those "sessions" to help Bobby understand women better were something more. And once she had mentioned it to Bobby, he had slowly talked to her about Marie less and less. And then, eventually, he stopped talking to her in general. Kitty knew Marie hadn't directly pointed out her and Bobby's relationship, but she had probably made hints to it or implied it. And Bobby, being the kind-hearted person that he was, began making fewer attempts to contact her.

It was one of the deepest emotional wounds she had ever encountered. Having her friend of 4 years neglect her and go into a complicated relationship with a whining and complaining…bitch…it shook Kitty to think it could even happen, even more that it did.

What does she have that I don't? Kitty thought.

It wasn't always about Marie. And she enjoyed that. Marie had left a few months ago. After the fight they had with the Brotherhood and Phoenix in mid-March, Marie had changed. She had taken the cure, but with her change, she attempted to be someone else. And that someone else was the same person who had left Bobby somewhere near the end of April. Her absence didn't linger like the rest of the others who were gone. Jubilee had been the first to notice that she wasn't at any of her first classes. After Sex Ed class Jubilee had gone in search of the girl and came to an empty room. She had run straight to Storm to tell her of their loss. And then later that evening, Ororo had called the X-Men into her office to inform them of it as well. The responses were different.

Elizabeth Braddock, the new teacher for the rest of the year on account of all the deaths, had taken two of Ororo's would-be classes, so that the weather-controller could take care of her other 3 classes, the Professor's Ethics class, the X-Men, and all the other territory that came along with running a school. Elizabeth didn't know her the way the others thought they did, and she didn't do much to cheer anyone up either. Logan was the worst…probably. As soon as realization dawned on him, he had savagely left the room. Kitty decided she wouldn't let him off the hook that easily. She ran after him, phasing through all the doors he tried to slam in her face. Finally, when they had reached his room, he had screamed in her face about all the things he had concealed for so long; Jean's death, "Chuck's" death, "One-Eye's" death, all the things being put on his plate, Bobby cheating on Marie with her….

That one set the fuse off. She had nothing to do with Dr. Grey's death and especially not the Professor's.

Hell, who was he to complain?! Charles was the only father she had, the only teacher aside from Ororo, who she could take to…the only hero she had ever believed in. And he was gone. Logan had barely spent 2 years with them! How was he to know the comforting hug Charles gave her when she was 12 and got her first "C" on her test? How could he comprehend the crush her young 10-year-old self harbored for Scott Summers, her first official crush? How would he know a damn thing about Dr. Grey either? Kitty didn't know much of Jean, but she was positive she knew twice as much as Logan. She was angry and hurt, yes. So what was wrong with having an old friend cheer her up by taking her ice-skating? She had known Bobby longer, she had been there to comfort him before. So when he had an unspoken desire to have someone give him something as small as a hug, she was supposed to ignore him? To tell him "Hell, no, Bobby…things won't be alright" and leave him abandoned. Heaven knows that's all he felt when he learned of the deaths. Abandonment. Whereas she, on the other hand, felt miserable and disappointed; disappointed to know those heroes who had faced their would-be fates time and time again with the strength of everything twice their size put together…had died. They were human too. Mutants would die, they were human. And even though she had learned that at any early age of this, she had never thought much of death until she had seen it with her own eyes, until she could feel the ripples of destruction it had made, the ruins of determination it had caused.

So, when Logan began preaching to her about she and Bobby without even knowing where she had come from, the pain she felt, she did the one thing anyone else in her situation (even Marie maybe) would do. She slapped him. And she slapped him hard. She admit, the injury it caused hurt, but only faintly as she burned with rage. Her face had turned red in her anger, her lips curling into the darkest scowl she could muster. And then she gave a long tangent of her problems while sobbing the whole way through.

She paused halfway through to wheeze and choke down air in her frantic mission to get him to see reality, to see that he wasn't the only one hurting. She had hollered so loud Ororo had burst through the locked door, knocking it down in the process, thinking someone was dying. Kitty had stopped yelling long enough to see Ororo's gorgeous eyes turn into some not-so-gorgeous slits. She had tried to strangle her sobs, in act to seem strong to Storm, to appear more like the warrior she proved herself to be that day in mid-March. But she couldn't. She just sobbed even more, tears trickling down her face so hard it scared her. Ororo had asked her to leave then, but, childishly, she stayed. It was then when the wrath of the goddess was unleashed. It was then that she realized that Storm had a temper that could easily compete with Logan's…or anyone's for that matter.

Storm did her business without any regard, doing what had needed to be done for a good long amount of time now. Storm put Logan in his place.

There was an entanglement of "I'm leaving"'s and "where?"'s and "I hate you"'s. Kitty had never seen their teacher get completely furious over anything before, and, if she had, she had a talent of not showing it. But Kitty had always known that. And at one point, she even thought she saw the glossy sheen of tears in Storm's eyes. But just as soon as they had appeared, they left. Logan didn't even seem to care. He just continued packing through their argument as if this was everyday stuff. What scared her was that it looked like it was everyday stuff.

Even though she couldn't recall exactly what was said through the middle, she knew exactly what had ended it. Storm had looked him dead in the eye as he grabbed his duffel bag and flung it over his shoulders and said, "So that its, huh? Jean and Marie were the only thing keeping you here? Well fine. I'm sorry we're not good enough for you to stay…I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you to stay. But know one thing, Logan. Those kids, whether they admit it or not, think of you as they're hero. Everyone needs a hero, someone to believe in. For awhile…I thought that…well, that's fine. Its normal of you to leave without caring of all of the others who rip out strand after strand of their hair, wondering if you've gotten injured or ambushed; the ones who ate lunch outside everyday to be the first to see if you'd come back…all because you couldn't pick up a damn phone and say where you went. Maybe that's why Marie left, Logan. Maybe because she couldn't keep waiting and waiting for someone who couldn't take a little time out of their day to do something nice. So, you know what, Logan? If you want to go…go. But don't ever, ever step foot on those front doorsteps again or I will kick you off of them personally."

Then, she challenged him with her eyes, daring and wanting him to answer her right then. He brushed past her without a sound though, holding her gaze till he reached the door. Then he left. Just like that. Her memory had absorbed every word…and the look of terror and anger and hatred and heartbrokenness that had overtaken her teacher. Then Storm left. Kitty had phased through the door to see the rest, half-expecting her to go after him, to say sorry and beg for him to be there, just for a few more days. But Storm was a proud woman. And when she said something, she meant it; and when she ordered something of someone, she meant business. Kitty had always wondered why she had put up with it for so long. She had begun to wonder if Ms. Munroe realized the doormat she was becoming for Logan. But that day made her realize Storm was all too aware. And she was too proud to beg. So she went in the complete opposite direction of Logan and went up to her loft. And for the rest of the day, the loft was silent. So was the garage. She found out the day after that. The next day she found Logan sitting on Scott's bike, duffle bag strapped securely, looking ready to go, his eyes squinted into a look of pure anger and resentment, but she knew the cogs and wheels in his head were turning full force. He was trying to pick apart every word Storm had said to him. He gave her a look that could kill, but she shrugged it off. She wasn't afraid of him. He was a coward. She got into a blue corvette, parked snugly between the other cars Charles had purchased before his death, and was off to get the eggs and 3 packs of butter Storm had required of her.

Logan had looked after her while she left, she could feel his powerful gaze. But she didn't mind.

When she returned an hour later (after getting stuck in traffic), he was in the same spot. She came up to him, standing right in front of him.

"Are you okay?" she had asked, nearly mumbled. It didn't matter really. He had heard her and would've heard her.

He sighed. "Yeah" was his gruff response.

"It tears her up, you know. I think she thinks you left. That's why she sent me out here to get groceries…she couldn't stand to see the bike gone, to look herself, you know?"

"I know"

"She's got a lot on her plate"

"I know"

Kitty just nodded and left after that. She didn't know what else to say about the situation. She didn't feel she needed to say sorry, and obviously, he felt the same.

Looking back on it all, Kitty began to think she had needed to say sorry. But she still hadn't. And neither had he. And, in a way, they became closer. He tended to give her more warnings in the danger room and stuff…he had even smiled at her once. So maybe Marie leaving was a good thing in a way. She had gained a friend in Logan, and Bobby and she were rebuilding their friendship. And Marie wasn't there to ruin that…