Doubts

It was one week until Julia was to marry William. They had known each other for over eight years now, but in that time Julia had wed another man. William had waited. While he waited, she had seen how unhappy he was. How had their lives gotten so messed up, so complicated? The one thing that they had not really talked about was how William felt about her previous marriage, at least not directly. She wasn't sure she should bring this up now, but what if William were harboring some resentment that might exhibit itself later down the line. Her marriage to Darcy, though it seemed like a good idea at the time, was no doubt, in retrospect, a mistake. It was something she continued to regret. Not only did she not love Darcy, in the way she should have, but throughout the marriage she wanted William, and William was miserable the whole time as well. And the worst thing of all was that Darcy died because of her, of her and William.

She asked William to have dinner with her, that she had something important to discuss with him. He had replied, "Of course. But you seem so serious, Julia. Is there something wrong?"
"I hope not. I think not. I guess we'll see, won't we?"

Dinner was not to be in a restaurant, for Julia sought privacy. She hired a cook to come to her home to prepare the meal, and then leave. William was exactly on time, as usual. He brought her a small bouquet of roses, which almost made her cry. He looked so sweet and she felt she was about to ambush him.
They made small talk throughout dinner, but Julia could tell that William was nervous. And William, for his part feared that Julia was going to break their engagement. He knew he could not bear that. That would be the one thing that would crush him, squeeze the very life out of him.

"Shall we adjourn to the parlor, William, and have our tea?"

"Alright," he agreed hesitantly.

For the first moments they sat there awkwardly, sipping their tea.

Then, " Julia..."
"William..."They both spoke at once.

"You, first, Julia. This is your party."

"Alright, William. I just want us to start our married life with a clean slate."

William sighed. She wasn't calling off the marriage. As they sat side by side on the sofa Julia took William's hand, squeezing it nervously.

"William..." she paused, then started again. "William, how do you feel about my having been married before?"

He was a little taken aback, actually quite a bit taken aback. His brows drew into a frown as he thought for a moment. He knew he had better say the right thing or all could be lost.

"I've come to terms with it. It's in the past now."

"But I know it was very hard for you. I could tell. And I'm so sorry, sorry to have hurt you."

"I don't know what else you want me to say. I love you, Julia. I always have. I always will."

"And I love you. I should never have tried to decide what is best for you or me by myself...without you."

"Let's not dwell on this. No good can come of it. What is really bothering you?"

"I just don't want you to look at me one day and think, how could I love a woman who left me for another man."

"It doesn't matter any more. We are together now, for the rest of our lives. And I can't wait to start our lives together."

Julia stroked his cheek. "You are such a dear, sweet man."

William laughed. "I'm just a man in love."

"And I'm a woman in love, truly in love, for the first...and last time."

They both grinned, embraced, and kissed.
Yes. Julia was sure she never had to worry about William. He was hers and she his and that was that. A week seemed so far away now, but what a glorious time they had to look forward to.