Author's Note: Disclaimer: I own neither Doctor Who or Hellsing, nor do i own Torchwood. I make no profit from this fiction nor do I wish to.

I.

Integra clenched her cigar in her mouth glaring at the TV in front of her, her one eye narrowed in anger. It had been 35 years since the conflict with Millennium and she had yet to have a quiet day. There was always some freak to kill or some bureaucratic bullshit to deal with. But none of that mattered to Integra right now; the news on the Television was her primary concern.

"What are we looking at here, Niles?" began the anchorman, a twinge of fear apparent in his voice. The reply was given by a much younger reporter:,

"No one really knows, Charles, but the prevailing theory is that it was a weapons test gone horribly wrong., Keep in mind however, although this video was recently delivered to us by an anonymous source," replied the reporter, "a note attached to the tape clamed this is a video of the incident at Canary Wharf 34 years ago.".

There was more to the report but Integra blocked it out, she was focusing on the images on the screen. Currently some sort of floating silos were flying across the screen. They had what appeared to be some sort of telescope attached to the front of the top of the silo- like structure, along with two other tubes: one of which appeared to have a suction cup and the other looked to be a weapon which fired an energy beam at some other type of machine which reminded Integra of cyborgs from a science fiction movie

The commander of Hellsing's eye widened as the video zoomed out. There were corpses and destroyed buildings littered the entire picture, the shock of which almost made Integra to drop the cigar from her mouth… *almost*

Integra stood and headed into her office. Everything had been particularly quiet as far as threats to England ever since Alucard had reappeared in her room five years ago. It was time to see if he still had his touch.

"ALUCARD! SERAS!" Integra screamed at the top of her lungs, as was her custom, and within seconds the former Police woman's footsteps could be heard outside the office door. Within a minute the blond walked through the doors of the large room, giving her superior a proper salute.

"You need something, Sir?" Seras chirped, her red eyes gleaming with kindness as they usually did. Integra couldn't help but let a small smile show through her normal scowl. Even though she had been a true undead for 35 years now, she still was one of the most human vampires Integra had ever laid eyes on. She would have continued musing for a moment but her thoughts were interrupted by the distinct lack of Alucard's presence. Her scowl returned.

"Seras," she began, "where in the name of God is Alucard?"

Seras rubbed the back of her head slightly embarrassed, "Er…well, Sir, he's having trouble with a…a Familiar."

"Familiar?" Integra thought to herself, when Alucard had returned he had killed all of his familiars in order to recognize himself…all except—

"Shit!" Integra hissed under her breath. This could be very bad.

Alucard sat in his imposing throne-like chair. He was not alone in the room; he stared at another chair which had appeared in front of him almost without warning. A pair of red orbs peered at him from the darkness, accompanied by a white gleam of teeth exposed by a childish smirk just underneath them. This had been the state of affairs for the last half hour, and Alucard was far from amused by now.

"How did you escape?" Alucard questioned the other figure harshly.

"I haven't," came the sly reply from a childlike voice.

"Then how—" Alucard began before being cut off by an over dramatic sigh and a malicious giggle.

"How many times must I tell you English pigs? Hmm?" The other figure leaned in so that Hellsing's ancient vampire could identify him. A childish smile was plastered on the face of an Aryan- looking youth with smooth features and a pair of black furred cat ears which poked out of a mop of messy blond hear. His still wore a Hitler Youth uniform and had rose- colored eyes that seemed to shine with a reddish glow in the darkness of the room."I will state zhis slowly, so zhat you vill understand, mein Herr," the youth continued, "I…am….everyvhere…und…novhere! So I'm still inside of you und out here in zhis chair, ja?"

Alucard did not respond, he simply stood, produced his Casul from his coat and blew the catboy's head clean off of his shoulders, sending a shower of blood, bone and brains across the area.

"Stay in my head unless called, cat!" Alucard thought.

"Aww du bist kein spass, mein Herr." (1) was the reply from the boy's voice, echoing inside his head. Alucard ignored this and accessed the boy's powers to teleport to his Master's office.

When Alucard suddenly appeared from out of nowhere, Integra flinched. It was an almost undetectable flinch but a flinch nonetheless. Otherwise the leader of the Hellsing organization was almost boiling over with rage.

"Where in the bloody hell have you been, Vampire?," Integra barked, leaning on her desk, with both hands firmly planted to steady herself.

"I apologize, Master," the Vampire began in his normal emotionless manner. "I was performing pest control." Inside his head Alucard could hear the boy snicker. This was going to get old and fast. However, the former Warrant Officer was the least of his concern right now; Integra was giving him a look that could freeze the fires of hell.

"So I've heard," Integra began., "And I assume you have everything under control?" Her voice was cool and collected, and her stare remained icy.

"Yes, Sir Integra."

Integra smiled at her servant's response before leading both Alucard and Seras into the sitting room and un-muting the TV. The strange flying silos were being discussed once again, and Integra resumed her silent scowling at the images on the screen. Meanwhile, Alucard was smiling like a madman, his face becoming more and more distorted with a dark joy with every death he saw until his face looked only vaguely human. Seras, however, recoiled in disgust. "Those…those things," she stammered, "they…they killed everyone in sight…what the hell are they?"

"I have no idea, Seras. I don't think anyone knows." Integra responded while lighting a fresh cigar and walking back toward her office, her two vampire servants flanking her. "I have decided that I will request that the monarchy call a round table conference to discuss the matter," she continued., "As for you both, I want you two to gather your strength in case we are under a threat. Even though that tape is three decades old I have a strange feeling about it."

Integra took her seat behind her desk, studying her servants for a moment. "Therefore, I need both of you to prepare yourselves. Seras, gather as many guns as you'll need from the armory, . Alucard, I need you to gather more familiars for yourself, you have my blessing."

"Zhat vouldn't be a gut idea, Frau Hellsing,." came a young voice from the midst of nothingness. Before Integra could fully react, the blond catboy appeared on her desk, swinging his legs innocently. Within seconds both Alucard and Seras had their guns drawn and leveled in the child's direction. Integra assessed the situation for a moment before starting to give her order.

"Alucard, Seras, k—"

"Woah! Woah! Fraulein!" Integra was cut off by the catboy, "I am trying to help you, ja?" Integra's eye widened and she slowly stood from her chair. Seras and Alucard gripped their guns tightly, preparing to fire until their leader put her hand up to tell her vampires to hold.

"Warrant Officer Schrödinger, correct?" Integra began once again. The boy nodded in reply, smirking like the little demon he was. "Why would you help us? You served in Millennium and were responsible for Alucard's imprisonment. A better question is why should I *let* you help us?" Integra continued.

"Vhat else can I do, mein Fraulein?" Schrödinger responded after a second's pause, his smirk gone and replaced with a look of grim resignation. "You defeated mein Komerades, und I failed to defeat Alucard…so I have novhere else to go." The catboy's smirk reappeared on his face, "und besides, Herr Alucard mind is ssssssssooooooooo boring, und I vant out."

"And if I say no?" Integra questioned, narrowing her stern gaze on the boy.

Schrödinger simply hopped off of the desk and bent over it, playfully grinning at the older woman before speaking in a snotty and teasing manner, "vvvvvvveeeeeeeeeellllll thhhhhhheeeeeennnnn I suppose that you vant Herr Alucard to disappear again," the boy chuckled, "The second he gains a new soul in addition to mines…poof ve are gone again!"

Integra considered this is silence for a moment before snuffing out her cigar. She walked around her desk before suddenly grabbing Schrodinger by the collar of his uniform, holding him up eye-level to her before unleashing her pent up rage upon him.

"DO NOT JUDGE ME, CAT! I AM YOU SUPERIOR AND YOU ARE JUST A PRISONER OF A WAR LONG OVER, AND THE LAST OF MILENIUM! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

Schrödinger cringed; he almost wished she had just shot him. He was about to think of a smart assed comment to retort with when the gravity of Hellsing's leader's words hit him. "Th-the letzt one…everyone else is dead?"

"Yes," was the short reply from the older woman, causing the catboy's cocky smirk to fade almost instantly. He hung his head in utter despair.

"Yes…Frau Hellsing…Ich Versthen Sie (2)…please put me down." Integra granted the boy's request before taking her place behind her desk once more.

"You are no longer a Warrant Officer, boy. From now on you shall just be referred to simply as Schrödinger. You will serve as my butler from now on, and will no longer wear that offensive uniform. In exchange for this you will gain your freedom. Understood?"

"Yes, Fraulein." Schrödinger replied.

With that Alucard placed his hands upon the boy's shoulders, revealing a black thread which connected them but was unseen before then, and snapped it with his fingers.

"You are free…enjoy it while you can, cat!" Alucard cackled before Integra spoke to the assembled group. "Alucard, go collect your souls as necessary for our predicament. Seras, you will take our new butler to Walter's old room where he will change out of that disgusting uniform, and it will be disposed of. And then you will take him to buy a uniform befitting a butler. You are all dismissed."

With that, the ensemble broke up, Alucard walking through the wall and out of Integra's office. Seras saluted her employer, grumbling slightly as she led the sullen Schrödinger out of her office. As the boy left Integra could swear she heard him whimper "Mein Kapitan..Mein poor sweet Kapitan." At that Integra arched a brow, but said nothing.

Unbeknownst to Integra, there was an organization which knew exactly what the creatures in the video were. A group called Torchwood, and they were currently in an uproar.

"How the hell did they get a video of Canary Wharf?" Jack Harness stated in complete disbelief. He hadn't eaten ever since the video had been released. He simply had passed back and forth in the common area of the hidden Torchwood instaillation as an aging African woman furiously typed and clicked on a laptop nearby.

"I have no idea, Jack. I've checked the remaining files from Torchwood One, the Pentagon, the British Army and even several Middle Eastern extremist websites. No traces of the source of the video anywhere."

"Keep looking." Jack said quickly before stepping over to an intercom and activating it. "Johnson, have you seen Gwen recently?"

"Yes, sir, she said something about trying to find something for you to eat."

Jack sighed and turned off the intercom before pulling a cell phone from his pocket and dialing Gwen's number. Just then the woman on laptop spoke up once more.

"Jack?"

"Yes, Lois?" he replied, fatigue apparent on his voce.

"The King and Queen are calling a roundtable conference for all members."

Jack sighed. The day was not getting off to a good start.

Translations:

(1) Aww du bist kein spass, mein Herr = Aww you are no fun my lord

(2) Ich Versthen Sie = I understand you