WARNING: THIS STORY IS NOT TRUE! I REPEAT: NOT TRUE! THIS IS NOT FACTUAL, IT IS FICTION! I DO NOT OWN DBSK OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY! THIS IS SOMETHING I THOUGHT SOME FANS WOULD LIKE!
THIS IS A LETTER THAT UKNOW WROTE TO JYJ BUT NEVER SENT:
I used to have a lot of questions as a child.
But was always scared to ask, incase people thought i was foolish,
But as I grew up, I realized that in life, the question I truly feared was...
Why?
Why can't they understand me?
Why won't they let me talk?
Why can't I be myself?
Why?...
Growing up as a trainee I learnt three things
Discipline, discipline and discipline
When I was upset, I was told, "Life will always have its downs, but just ignore them, and don't let anyone find your weak spot…"
But growing up with four amazing brothers, I learnt that life DOES have many downs that you will fear…
But you just have to learn to embrace them.
You taught me to love and to protect…
You taught me how to be an older brother…
You taught me things I never thought I could do…
You told me, you'd always be there for me…
Next to me the whole way, no matter how long the road.
Where are you now?
Why did you lie?
Those days when we were all brothers seem all so far away now
What do you think of me now?
Why can't you just understand me?
At times I think to myself,
"Why won't you leave me alone?"
Whenever I try to forget and start over,
You somehow remind me…
Remind me of how great we were…
There are so many memories I wish I could just erase…
Delete them and forever forget them…
Maybe then, I would feel happier with my achievements
But really, achievements without you, are not achievements at all…
Please…
Please understand me…
We took different paths…
You chose the harder one…where there are slopes and steep hills to overcome
In my mind, neither one of us was right or wrong,
But why do I still feel guilt?
I want to see you…
I want to hear your voices
I want to feel the warmth I had once felt ever so long ago…
You know how I feel…
And you know there's nothing I can do.
So why don't you find me again?
Just like you used to…
When I was lost, you would always find me again…
The truth is I miss you,
More than anything right now.
This face everyone sees right now,
This smiling, proud face…
Isn't me…
It's a mask to hide my insecurities…
The truth is, I'm not happy…
How can I be happy without you…
There's so many things I want to tell you,
But somehow I can never find the strength to face you,
Every time I even think about facing you,
The tears come…
And they don't stop…
But maybe one day, some day….
You'll learn to forgive me,
And we'll meet somewhere in the middle,
Maybe then…
You can tell me why.