A/N: Hello all! Welcome back to Moments In Time and the story of what happens during the summer after S8 - What Lies Between. I hope it's worth the wait. And hang on, it's going to be a bumpy ride. ~Aliyah
Sunday May 15
Tony had neglected to shut his phone off again after contacting Mark the previous night but never thought he'd have cause to regret it so soon. The little piece of technology rang loudly, disturbing the early Sunday morning peace of the DiNozzo household. His personalized ringtone jerked Tony out of sleep and he rushed to silence it before the sound woke Ziva, answering with a hushed, "DiNozzo." He hadn't checked the call display but banked on it being work since that was almost always the case.
"Agent DiNozzo," an unamused voice answered. "I don't take kindly to having my calls ignored."
Stifling a sigh, Tony carefully slid out from under the covers and headed towards the office. "I gave you my answer already Sir. Repeated requests are not going to change how I feel."
"Then let me put it this way," Clay Jarvis said bluntly. "It's not a request. It's an order. If you choose not to comply, which I have a feeling might happen, I'll post you as a permanent Agent Afloat. Keep resisting and you won't see dry land again until you retire."
The agent's stomach rolled. They were going to use another order to send him away from his wife? Not happening. He went along with it the first time, he sure as heck wasn't going as easily this time. The weight of the decision he'd promised to make hung heavily on his heart. He loved his job, but he loved Ziva more. Tony took a deep breath. "Then I-"
"And before you get some naive idea in your head about threatening to resign from NCIS, let me assure you that upon receipt of such papers this office will be forced to blacklist you from every police force from here to the West Coast. When I'm done with you Agent DiNozzo, you won't even be able to work at Starbucks."
"So much for my fall-back plan," he shot back wryly, the sarcasm so ingrained he barely noticed while he grappled with the all too obvious reality that he was about to be forced into something he did not want to do. Tony hated not having a choice but if the SecNav was serious, and clearly he was, he couldn't risk not having a way to support his wife, not being able to provide stability for their lives, especially if they were trying for a baby. This messes everything up, the agent thought grimly. The whole situation felt so hopeless and he couldn't see a way out.
"Then I take it you're willing to listen to reason?"
"Do I have a choice?" he spit out.
"We all have a choice Agent DiNozzo. I trust you will make the intelligent one. Be at NCIS and waiting outside the director's office at 0900. I'll brief Leon before you're called in."
The receiver clicked and Tony was left with a barely repressible urge to throw his phone at the wall. But he didn't. Instead he bowed his head and fought for control of the rage that wanted to spill forth and all he wanted was his wife. Leaving the cell on his desk, he crept back into bed and curled himself carefully around Ziva's sleeping form. She stirred slightly when he returned and tilted her head back. "Who was that?"
He sighed heavily and pressed his lips to her neck. "I've got to go into work for a little while. I won't be gone long."
"Mmm." Ziva still wasn't capable of too much deep thought with the lingering migraine from yesterday, that was now just a bad headache, and still feeling sick. For that Tony was grateful. He wasn't up to answering a lot of questions at the moment.
"Go back to sleep."
She nodded and closed her eyes again. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in his favourite scent in the world, well aware that he was about to be torn again from everything that made his life good.
NCIS
After sitting down at the table and trading a little banter back and forth, Vance smiled at his friend. "So what can I do for you? What's our first order of business?"
"First, promise to watch my back as long as it's your sworn duty as NCIS director," Jarvis began.
Leon chuckled. "Easy enough, what else?"
"Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. I've already been in touch with him. Mind if I bring him in?"
Vance's brow furrowed. "You've spoken to Agent DiNozzo?"
"Twice," Clay confirmed. "May I?"
The director nodded and Tony walked in. Leon didn't miss how incredibly unpleased his agent looked and began to have his first misgivings.
Jarvis glanced at Tony. "Agent DiNozzo, sit down."
"Sir," Tony ground out. "Director."
"Director Vance I'm authorizing Agent DiNozzo access to sensitive compartmented information commensurate with the Black Program. None of your other team members need to know. Is that clear?"
Vance observed Tony and the impassive expression he was struggling to maintain. "Actually Clay, I'm a little concerned." Secret agendas had gotten his people in a lot of trouble over the years.
"Secretary Jarvis, when we're talking shop," the other man corrected, moving right over his friend's objection. "An agent somewhere in your organization is selling top-secret information and they need to be dealt with appropriately."
Leon tried again. "Mr. Secretary, I'd like to discuss this first."
Clay gave him a peeved look. "There's nothing else to talk about. If you're uncomfortable with this Agent DiNozzo and I can do it without you."
Figuring it would be better to be in the loop than out of it, Vance reluctantly gave the go ahead.
Jarvis slid a folder towards Tony. "Take a look. That's who you're handling. Do whatever it takes."
The senior field agent's face remained indecipherable as he studied the photo inside and closed the folder again.
"Any questions?" SecNav asked.
None that won't get me fired, he thought, shaking his head slightly.
"Good." Clay took a thick envelope from his jacket pocket and handed it to the agent. "This should cover your initial travel costs and accommodations. I want you to get started immediately. You'll need a place to work that isn't connected with your apartment. Everything is to be done under the radar. We don't want anyone tracking you to get to the target. Understood?" Tony nodded in lieu of speaking. "Good. Then you're dismissed. Thank you for your time Agent DiNozzo."
Tony left without a backwards glance and Vance folded his hands. "Care to fill me in now Mr. Secretary?"
NCIS
After falling asleep sitting up on the couch for a couple hours, Celeste woke somewhere past midnight and managed to shift Gibbs' head off her lap and onto a pillow so she could make her way to her own bed - the air mattress she'd been sleeping on in the empty room across the hall from Kelly's. She paused at the doorway and peered inside the little girl's room. Not one thing had changed since she'd been married to Gibbs eighteen years ago and she was willing to bet, not since the occupant of the room had last slept there almost twenty years past. Celeste remembered the only time she'd ever dared venture inside during their brief marriage - Gibbs threw a fit and declared the space off limits. It made her sad to see his daughter's room still the same, to know he was still dwelling in pieces of the past because nothing yet about the present had been compelling enough to break those ties.
Celeste spent a few fitful hours on the blow up bed and was up again before Gibbs made it to consciousness. She was in the kitchen when he woke and he didn't even move right away, just lay on the couch and enjoyed how she looked in his house, like she belonged there. Finding in his ex-wife a reason to smile when he would otherwise have none, Gibbs made his way over and leaned against the counter rather than slide his arms around her as he would've preferred. "Mornin'."
She smiled. "Good morning Jethro. Coffee's ready if you want some."
He kissed her cheek and reached for a mug. "Thanks."
"French toast will be done in a couple minutes. Can you do the bacon?"
A couple sips of strong black coffee loosened his tongue. "Yup. Crispy?"
She gazed at him fondly. "Always."
They sat down at the table with their plates soon after and Celeste leaned back in her chair. "What are your plans for the day?"
He finished half of the first piece of toast before answering with a question. "What time's your flight?"
"Later this afternoon."
"Think I'll just hang around here." With you, he added silently.
She held her mug in both hands. "Leyla and Amira?"
Gibbs shrugged. "Guess I'll let 'em settle for one day without me hovering. They need to get their own routine set."
"They're going to be good for you," Celeste observed.
"Kinda want to check on Ziva, but if Tony's smothering her with his concern she doesn't need any more."
"I guess Rule 12 doesn't apply when his partner's hurt?" she pointed out softly.
Gibbs sighed. "Anybody would think they're paying you to be their advocate."
Her eyes sparkled. "Now there's a thought. You think I could change by the hour?"
"Les," he growled.
She smiled back unrepentantly. "Jethro."
Losing the staring contest when he turned attention back to his breakfast, Gibbs didn't miss her triumphant grin. "Don't gloat. I'm hungry."
"Mmhmm." Celeste bit into a slice of bacon and tore the rest of her French toast into small pieces before spearing them one at a time with her fork.
Once the food was gone she stood to start dishes and Gibbs joined her to dry. Cleaning up didn't take long and as she rehung the towel, Celeste turned to him seriously. "Jethro, do you think maybe it's time to do something different with Kelly's room?"
He stopped short and stared at her. "What?"
She tucked her hands in her pockets. "It's been a sacred space for so long. You keep your memories alive that way, but it also keeps people out. Me, the team...you don't have a habitable spare room and you sleep on the couch - where would any of them stay if they needed a safe place?"
Gibbs frowned. He hadn't thought of it that way and wondered how long Celeste had been analyzing the situation. "Huh," he said when he couldn't come up with anything else.
"I'm not trying to change the things that are important to you, it won't alter the way I feel, I was just hoping to show you a different perspective."
"You did." Normally he balked strongly at anything resembling change, but twenty years had passed since his little girl occupied that room. Maybe it was time to do something different. He cleared his throat. "Want to go for a walk?"
"Do you suppose we'll end up somewhere near a frozen yogurt place?"
Gibbs chuckled and slung his arm around her shoulders. "I'll see what I can do."
An hour later they were still comfortably wandering hand in hand, in no hurry whatsoever for time to pass and Gibbs decided he needed some honesty from her. "Been wondering about something Les." She turned her attention from the scenery to him. "You came to DC after the team was reunited, but you barely stayed for the month. Remember you saying one time you didn't trust yourself to stay, how come?" He'd been hoping for something between them then, felt like they could've finally had a chance, and then she was just gone.
"Oh." Celeste spied a bench up ahead and headed that direction. "Let's sit down." She hadn't actually been expecting him to bring up a serious topic. They got to the bench and she angled herself towards him, taking a deep breath. "I guess I was...running scared, trying to keep my heart from being broken again."
His brow furrowed. "Nothing happened, what made you afraid of that?"
She stared across the park. "At that point we'd spent a decade and a half being friends and nothing more. I didn't think we were ever going to be where I hoped, ready to give us another chance, and it hurt too much to be close to you without having the relationship I longed for. So I decided I could never stay home in DC because it was too good at keeping my dreams alive. I'd have to find a place to live far enough away that they would slowly fade into the background and hope eventually I wouldn't feel them quite as much."
"If I'd given you any indication that I was ready to try...?"
Celeste met his eyes. "I probably would've jumped right in and never looked back. But now...now I think it's good we've had this extra time, to get to know each other better, more intentionally." She glanced down. "I believe the work will be worth our effort in the end."
Gibbs pulled her close, pressing his lips to her temple. "Me too."
They stayed like that for a long time, then he found someplace to treat her to frozen yogurt and all too soon they were back at the airport. When he'd escorted her as far as he could go without a ticket, Gibbs stopped but kept hold of her hands. "I hate this part."
"Me too." Celeste swallowed, eyes looking shiny already. Without warning she threw her arms around his neck for a long goodbye hug. In a fit of bravery she whispered, "I love you," then let go and hurried away so he wouldn't see her cry.
Gibbs stared after her in something akin to shock, then a small smile spread over his lips. He didn't care that she said it first, he'd already determined he was not going to let this woman go again. And yeah, after eighteen years it was really nice to hear those words again.
When he finally left the airport the cemetery was his next stop. The girls had their moment yesterday, today was his turn. He lowered himself to the bench in front of his friend's newly filled grave and prepared to bare his soul. "Well Mike, it's been one of those weeks..."
NCIS
Despite taking some time for a walk to try and cool down following his brief time with the director and new SecNav, Tony came home in a foul mood. He slammed the door, dropped his backpack with a thud on the floor and tried to resist the urge to throw one of his shoes across the room. Ziva came out of the bedroom a bit wobbly and foggy, squinting because of the brightness of the sun through the windows after spending so much time in their dark and quiet room. "Tony, what's wrong?"
Her husband was leaning over the counter, looking more than a little unimpressed, but his head came up at her quiet voice and his expression morphed to one of contrition. "Sorry Zi. I forgot about the noise." She took slow steps over to join him and he slid his arms around her waist, resting their foreheads together. "Forgive me?"
Ziva nodded. Her hands framed his face and he closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. She studied the emotions passing over his face and found the main one even though he tried to hide it. "You are angry. Why?" Tony sighed heavily and stepped back, trying to force himself to stay calm. There was more to his resistence than just wanting to protect her from something and she finally guessed what it might be. "Can you tell me?" she ventured. Only a few things she could think of would provoke this reaction and they were all bad.
Tony forced out a breath. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone, not even Gibbs, but I haven't kept one secret from you in almost five years Ziva and I refuse to start now." He ran his hands through his hair, making it stick up in several places that she wanted to smooth down, but right now he needed her to listen. Finally he met her eyes. "I have an assignment, straight from the new SecNav himself. I'm going to be...away for awhile. There's a mole on Barrett's team and it's my job to find him."
Without giving specifics he'd already told her who, since there were only two choices now. Ziva swallowed and whispered the words. "How long?"
Tony drew her close again, his expression pained. "I don't know. Maybe...maybe a few months."
She pulled back to see into his eyes, her own burdened with the sorrow of his announcement. "Just once it would be nice for this to last."
He kissed her softly. "I know Zi, I'm sorry. I didn't want the assignment, even Vance didn't like the secrecy, but Jarvis overruled us both." Tony touched his forehead to hers. "Please don't hate me."
Her fingers curled into his shirt. "I cannot. But promise me you will be careful."
Tony cradled her face in his hands. "I will honey. What we have is too precious to lose."
She leaned into the firm pressure of his lips. "When do you leave?"
Tony swallowed. "We've got the rest of today. But I won't be at the office on Monday."
Ziva closed her eyes. "I know...what we spent our final hours doing last time we knew we would be apart. I am sorry that is not an option now."
He held her tighter. "I'll be gentle sweetheart, I'll be so gentle. Please?" He desperately did not want to leave without having been surrounded in her love like that one last time to get him through the days and weeks they were likely to be separated.
She shook her head carefully. "Tony..."
Tony, feeling human and selfish instead of understanding for once when he so badly wanted and needed that connection with his wife, didn't let her say no again. "Please Zi, please."
A tear leaked from Ziva's eye. "I am so sorry ahava, I cannot." He opened his mouth again and she placed two fingers over it to forestall his argument. "You do not like me to pretend anything and I would have to if you insisted on doing this now. Is that what you want?"
He let go and paced away from her, angry at the situation and frustrated that the timing coincided with his wife being in a state where she was unable to reciprocate his desire and need. He clenched his jaw and stared at the opposite wall, catching sight of their dog in his peripheral vision. Grabbing her leash off the hook he gave a sharp whistle. "I'm taking Meira for a walk."
A moment later the door clicked shut and Ziva returned to their room, curling up on top of the covers and letting the rest of the tears fall. It was unfair to them both that she was sick and hurt when her husband needed her, she hated letting him down. If today was all they had left and she wouldn't see him again for who knows how long, Ziva knew she would regret not sharing intimacy with him when she had the chance. But it would only torment both of them to try something now the she did not think she was capable of carrying through with.
Tony and Meira were gone for a long time, so much so that Ziva had drifted off again by the time they returned. He slipped their pet a few treats and entered the bedroom, his heart squeezing at the tear stains on his wife's face. Laying down beside her, he rubbed his thumb gently across her forehead. "Ziva." Several moments later she opened her eyes and he ghosted his mouth over hers. "I know you would if you could babe. It's not you I'm mad at."
She kissed him back, long and slow, and they indulged in the melding of lips and sharing of breaths until both felt a little more centered. He made a sound of protest when she finally broke away before they pushed it too far. "I could do that forever."
A smile curved the corners of her mouth. "You would eventually need a break from it I think."
He waggled his eyebrows. "Don't want to try for the Guinness record breaking kiss?"
"Even the most fun activities can get boring if you do not have a little variety."
"Fair enough." Tony shifted onto his back and stared at the ceiling while Ziva snuggled up next to him with her head on his chest.
"I will miss this."
He rubbed her back, dropped a kiss on her hair. "Yeah, me too." After awhile she could feel him thinking and he finally shared. "You didn't ask."
Her brow furrowed. "What?"
"Why I'm taking the assignment instead of quitting. I know you didn't forget what I promised last time."
Ziva smoothed her hand over his shirt. "That you would rather quit than be apart from me again. But I also know if you did not there must be a good reason."
"SecNav made it clear that if I tried to quit I'd find myself running extremely low on alternate employment options." She half-sat up with a question in her eyes. "He threatened to blacklist me off every police force in the country so I'd have nowhere else to go." The fire he loved about her began burning in those brown irises and he shook his head to cut it off. "No you can't go take that up with him. At least one of us needs to keep our job." He let out a breath. "And if we're still trying for a baby later this year, we both do."
"That is why you agreed," Ziva reasoned softly.
"What other choice do we have? He's at the top of the pyramid, there's no one to go to over his head." Tony paused for a brief moment of contemplation. "Except the President, and I'm pretty sure he's got more important things to deal with."
"That is how I felt when my-when Eli was in control of my life. I had no one else to appeal to who could overturn his decisions." She nuzzled his neck. "I understand yakiri. I am not blaming you."
Between the meeting and their talks and the walk he'd taken to calm down it was now after lunch. "You hungry?"
"Not very much." Considering his news, she wondered if she'd ever have an appetite again.
"Maybe some soup at least, yeah? And a movie?" Tony brushed his lips over her ear. "And I'll hold you really, really close and pretend I never have to let go."
Ziva nodded. "Okay."
They squeezed as much together time as they could out of the day before Tony finally had to start packing after supper. Ziva tried to help initially but her headache was getting worse so he gently pushed her back against the pillows on their bed. "Take it easy Zi." She spent the rest of the packing lounging there and watching. It made him feel even worse that she didn't say anything, didn't yell at him or beg or anything, but her dark eyes filled with quiet acceptance tracked every move and he hated even more that there was nothing either of them could do to stop it.
Eventually she sat forward and caught his hand, tracing her finger across his ring. "I wish you could take this."
Tony sank down beside her. "Me too sweetheart." That had been the one saving grace of being Agent Afloat, wearing his wedding ring every day for four months. "But you'll keep it safe for me, right?"
"Of course." Ziva placed her hands on his face and brought their mouths together. "I love you Anthony DiNozzo."
"I love you," he whispered, standing and holding out his hand. He began singing in a low voice. "Let me teach you how to dance/let me lead you to the floor/simply place your hand in mine/and then think of nothing more." He pulled her close and began waltzing her carefully around the room. He knew they needed the intimate time to savour being close together when they couldn't make love. "Let the music cast it's spell/give the atmosphere a chance/simply follow where I lead/let me teach you how to dance."
She smiled, loving that he was paying attention to a movie she loved despite the sad parts. Tony sang the simple tune over and over and they moved slower and slower until they were standing still. Then Ziva slid her arms around his neck. "I wish you didn't have to go."
He held her as tightly as he dared. "Oh babe, I know. I wish it with everything I am." When he felt like his heart would burst from the agony of missing her already, he kissed his wife's head. "I love you so much. I'm gonna go for a shower, okay?"
She nodded and reluctantly released him. He backed out of the room, keeping eye contact as long as possible. When she heard the water turn on Ziva went to the office and dug around in her stationery drawer for a smaller sheet of paper. Despite how her head hurt, she managed to pen a short love note to her husband. Then she scanned her collection of stuffed animals and chose a bear. She took both toy and note and snuck them into his already closed duffle bag. Hopefully both would make him smile when he found them.
When Tony came to bed after his shower, he tucked his wife tight against his body and wished with everything in him that he didn't have to let go in a few short hours. Nothing ever caused him as much pain as being forced to leave her behind.
NCIS
Monday May 16
Tony didn't sleep after those first couple hours. Instead he was up half the night watching his wife sleep and dream and breathe, touching her ever so gently, trying to lock everything in his brain for the long months when those memories would be all he had to keep himself company. It tore out his heart to leave their bed at four am and not know the next time he'd be back, but Tony put the early rising time to good use, pouring out his love and regret and hopes and fears in letters and notes he hid in different places around the house for Ziva to find later, hopefully when she needed to hear his voice the most.
The last one was a card he left on his pillow that simply said 'I love you' along with his promise to be back. There was no waking her because after the previous evening he simply couldn't face one more moment of goodbye. He called a cab and on his way out the door stopped to pet Meira. "You be good pretty girl. Take care of Ziva. I'm sorry you don't understand, but I promise I'll be back honey. I could never leave either of you for good. Bye."
"Where to?" The driver asked when his bags were loaded. Tony directed him to a little, rundown motel where he booked a room under one of the fake names he decided to use and walked several blocks until he found a twenty-four hour internet café. There he sat down with stale, lukewarm coffee and sent Mark a short email from the secret, untraceable account McGee had set up back before he left for Agent Afloat. He also left one for Ziva, in case she remembered and thought to check at some point.
From there he headed for a used car lot that was sleazy enough not to check IDs when a customer was willing to pay in cash. In record time Tony picked out and paid for a nondescript car that wouldn't draw any attention. His next stop, having left his cell at home with the GPS disabled so it couldn't be traced to the house, was a convenience store without working security cameras so he could purchase a burn phone. Almost set, his last order of business before accommodations was a new ID, or more specifically, a few new IDs. He spent a couple hours trolling the less desirable neighbourhoods and finally tracked down Slippery Sal, a lowlife he'd arrested years ago who advertised that he could get anything his customers needed. He resisted the request at first, but all it took was a reminder of everything Tony could turn him into the local PD for and he was suddenly very willing to be of service. He promised that scrutiny proof, ironclad aliases and documents to back them up would be ready the next day.
Satisfied that he'd been as resourceful as possible, something the new SecNav clearly expected given that he'd handed over an envelope of money with precious little guidance, Tony took a momentary break from cloak and dagger stuff to call his dad from a payphone. It was okay though, he felt safer and better making his own arrangements for his time spent out of contact with his life. Though not much, he was relieved to have something under his control and protected from the poison Jarvis would likely spread to anything he touched. Considering that it was the time of day most people were at work, he half-expected it when Senior's voicemail picked up. He rubbed his forehead. "Hey Dad. I just wanted to let you know I'm gonna be away for awhile. Got a new assignment at work. Can't give any details, but I'll be traveling. So don't worry and maybe we'll catch up when I get back. Okay, bye."
That taken care of, he bought a newspaper from one of the machines, got some better coffee elsewhere, and began checking the classifieds. He circled anything that seemed promising and started making appointments. The rest of his day was spent looking for an apartment to be his home base, but no matter how hard he tried his heart wasn't in the search. It was on the other side of town in the careful grasp of the woman he loved more than life itself.
NCIS
When Mark checked his phone upon waking, he discovered a cryptic email from an unknown address and his brow furrowed as he read it over. I have to be away for awhile. Please take care of my wife. The sign off, simply 'D', gave away the sender's identity and drove his worry level through the roof. It was time stamped for 0530 that morning, less than an hour ago. He ran a hand through his hair, suddenly glad his first client of the day had cancelled because now he had a new mission. Rolling over, Mark kissed Cassie's neck.
"I need you to wake up sweetheart."
"Mmm." She breathed deeply and shifted onto her back, her brow furrowing before she even looked at the clock. "You're supposed to be gone already."
He couldn't resist. "Trying to get rid of me Mrs. Reece? You could've at least waited until Tuesday."
Cassie swatted at him half-heartedly and covered a yawn. "Have you fallen off the favourite's list?"
"Just for today. Got the email shortly after 6 am. Not more than 24 hours' notice so I still get paid half."
Forcing herself into alertness, she tugged her husband down for a kiss. "So was that wake up call an invitation?" It wouldn't be the first time they'd made use of early morning private time. She didn't have to get the kids up until 7:30.
Mark indulged in her mouth for a moment longer, stifling a groan. "I wish," he breathed against her lips, suddenly remembering the seriousness of the situation. He handed her his phone to read the message and Cassie's startled gaze jumped to his. "I know, right? That doesn't sound good."
She slipped out of bed and wrapped her arms around her middle. "Maybe Dad can come and get the kids off to school. I know you can't take the morning off, but-"
He stepped in the path of her pacing and cupped her elbow. "Okay, I appreciate that you're in Mom mode right now but let's start with a phone call, huh?"
Cassie nodded slightly, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth while he punched in the familiar numbers and put the phone on speaker. It rang five times, the max before their answering machine would pick up, and then the receiver clicked. "Hello?"
Ziva's voice didn't seem right and Cassie couldn't help herself. "Mark got an email from Tony this morning Ziva, we're worried. What's going on?"
Something that sounded suspiciously like a sob came across the line and the couple drew closer together. "I do not...want to talk about it. Goodbye."
She hung up and the abruptness startled them both. "You're right," Mark nodded, "this is serious." He turned towards the window, scrolling through his contacts. "I'm going to see if I can reschedule my eight o'clock client for during lunch instead."
Cassie rushed to the nighttable for the house phone. "I'll call Dad."
Fifteen minutes later when the clock didn't yet read 7 am Cassie's dad had arrived and the couple hurried out to their car in the clothes they'd thrown on while waiting for him to get there. Mark, usually such a cautious driver, pushed the limits on this particular morning and Cassie didn't say a word, only stared out the window and prayed silently for the duration of the trip. Not too many minutes later he pulled up outside Tony and Ziva's and they got out.
Stopping at the door he fingered the spare key he'd demanded from his friend two years ago after Ziva returned, glancing towards his wife. "Does this count as an emergency?"
She nodded, though both knew it was treading a fine line of breaking and entering. Meira poked her head out the bedroom door at their entrance but didn't seem concerned enough to venture over and disappeared back into the room. Leaving Cassie to Ziva duty, Mark took a look around the rest of the house, hoping for some clue as to what the heck was going on. Then, as an afterthought, he filled the kettle and boiled water. Cassie and Ziva both treated tea like a cure-all. They really should've been born in England.
Cassie entered the darkened room and offered Meira a pat before approaching the bed and blanket covered figure huddled in the middle of it. "Ziva?"
She opened her eyes and peered with confusion at the uninvited guest. "Cassie, what are you doing here?" There were tears in her voice and clear evidence on her cheeks that many had already been shed.
The older woman sank down beside her friend. "You set off Mark's Papa Smurf radar, and my mom one. We're concerned about you Ziva. What's going on?"
More tears leaked from Ziva's eyes and she lacked the energy to wipe them away. "Tony is gone."
Cassie ran her hand down Ziva's hair. "We gathered that. How come?"
"Work," she sniffed. "He found out yesterday and left before I woke this morning. My heart is broken without him."
Cassie's heart was breaking just listening to her words. "I'm so sorry. Is it for a long time?"
Ziva stared up at the ceiling, doing nothing about the tears that continued to flow. "It could be months," she whispered. "And I know it is my turn to miss him Cassie, last time I was the one who left. But the timing of it, after everything that happened last week..." She sighed. "I no longer have the ability to be without him. I am not strong enough on my own anymore. I both love the change and hate it, so different from before we married."
Cassie clasped Ziva's hand in both of hers. "I'm glad we didn't know you were missing until it was already over. I would've been so worried." She tipped her head to the side. "I remember that dream you shared with me awhile back, about something bad happening. Is that what you were thinking about while it was going on?"
Ziva nodded. "Yes, partly. I was afraid Tony would have to spill our secret during the search. He did not, so the dream was not a direct prediction of the future. But it was similar enough."
Cassie glanced at the clock. Unfortunately their time as comforters was limited, Mark still had to be at work for nine. "Have you eaten anything yet?"
Ziva closed her eyes. "I am not hungry."
"Humour me? It's a mom thing. At least let me make you oatmeal or toast or eggs."
"No eggs." Ziva crinkled her nose. She'd seen enough eggs when she first arrived home after Somalia to last for a long time.
"Okay then. Cinnamon and sugar toast. It's what my mom would've made for a bad day."
Ziva sat up slowly and pushed the covers back. While she got dressed in pyjamas fit for an audience, Cassie went out and quietly suggested to her husband that it might be a good time to take Meira for a walk. "How's she doing?" he asked, eyeing the closed bedroom door.
"Really sad," Cassie shared. "I've never seen them apart before Mark."
"They're some of the people who take two becoming one literally. It's not right for her to be without Tony." He kissed his wife quickly. "Good luck,"
Ziva came out moments after he'd left in fuzzy blue polar bear pyjamas, which her guests didn't know were an inside joke, and found Cassie searching the cupboards for cinnamon and sugar respectively. She located them without help from the homeowner and buttered the toast when it popped. Bringing over the treat, she set the plate in front of her friend. "How's the concussion?"
One shoulder shrugged as she took a small bite. "Today is four days. I still have a headache but I am not feeling as bad. A week is usually how long the symptoms last for me."
"Done this before, huh?" Cassie asked sympathetically.
"More times than I care to count." She clutched the 'Z' necklace she'd just switched to and wondered what Tony was doing at this moment.
"How long are you off work?"
Ziva ate some more toast. It was actually pretty good. Comfort food, something her husband would appreciate. "I will go back tomorrow. I do not like to be alone here where everything reminds me of what I am missing."
The kettle boiled again and Cassie got up to make tea for them both. They were still nursing those mugs and chatting occasionally when Mark returned with Meira. The dog made a beeline for Ziva and dropped her head in the woman's lap. He chuckled. "Someone is glad to see you up."
"Hello Mark."
"Ziva." Mark locked eyes with his wife. "Cass."
She checked the time and sighed. "I'm sorry Ziva. Life and responsibilities beckon, otherwise I'd happily keep you company all day."
Ziva stood. "I understand. It was good of you to come." She hugged them both. "Thank you."
Mark put a hand on her shoulder. "Tony asked us to take care of you while he's away. We'll be here for anything you need."
She blinked back more tears. "Thank you."
"Promise you'll call?" Cassie asked. "Don't try to handle this all on your own. We're family, remember?"
Ziva merely smiled because that's exactly what she was planning to do. As soon as they left she locked the door and in doing so fortified her heart as well. She was on her own again with a mission she did not choose but had to accept - survive the loneliness of being one half of two until her husband came back to her. It might be the hardest thing she'd ever done.
NCIS
Leon was waiting on the catwalk when Gibbs walked in shortly after eight even though the team had been given until 09 to make an appearance. "Gibbs, my office."
Changing course from his desk to the stairs, the team leader arrived in his boss's office moments later.
"Close the door."
Gibbs did with raised eyebrows. "Something on your mind Leon?"
Vance sat down and folded his hands. "DiNozzo's been pulled to assist SecNav with a sensitive situation. He'll be unavailable to your team for some time I'm afraid."
Gibbs glowered. "I don't like it when people mess with my agents."
"Well, to be honest I don't like it either. But this goes way above both our pay grades, so I suggest you just make the best of it."
"This assignment, it dangerous?"
"The job has its hazards, we all know that," Vance answered vaguely.
"He got backup?"
"Unfortunately Agent DiNozzo's running solo on this one. However, if the opportunity arises, I do expect you and your team to give him your full support and assistance."
"Would it be too much to ask for a few details?" Gibbs demanded.
"Classified. And until Agent David returns I have to remove your team from active status. Carter's team can pick up the slack for now." Gibbs stood and stared and Leon's patience ran out. "You're dismissed."
The older agent scowled but turned on his heel and left, slamming the door behind him. Vance sighed. Whatever happened next, it looked to be a very long summer stretching ahead of them and all they could do was wait to see how things played out.
NCIS
Down in the alcove Gibbs pulled out his cell and started on the calls he needed to make. Ziva's phone went to voicemail, a fact that troubled him, but he knew she didn't like people hovering when she wasn't feeling well and decided to give her another day before he busted down her apartment door to check on her. The second call was to Leyla and caught her and Amira in the middle of their after breakfast storytime.
"You will have to thank your friend Celeste for us again. Amira adores all the books she picked out. She has been endlessly carrying them around the apartment in that bag. We so appreciate her generosity."
"Celeste has a big heart and she likes to use it on others. It made her just as happy, believe me."
"You have known her for a long time?"
"Almost twenty years."
"That is a very special friendship," the young woman observed.
He nodded, thinking again of the three words Celeste whispered before she left. They made him feel warm all over, just knowing that somehow he'd been found worthy of her heart after all this time. Gibbs cleared his throat. "What's your day look like? I could cut free for lunch and escort you ladies to the park."
"That would be lovely," Leyla agreed. "And after that I wonder if I might borrow you for awhile? I have a very involved document to fill out so I can file a benefits claim with Mike's life insurance carrier. But I glanced over it last night and realized I am in over my head."
"Done," Gibbs decided. She'd get any help he could give. "Want to go look at cars today too?"
"Let's leave that for tomorrow. It is already shaping up to be a long day." Small hands tugged the phone from her ear and she chuckled. "Someone else wants to say hello."
"Papa Gibbs, can we go on the swings? Swings are Mish's favourite."
He smiled. "Absolutely Miss Amira. We can go on the swings as much as you want."
"Shukran," she said quietly, giving the phone back to her mother. Thank you - Arabic.
Their conversation ended and Gibbs finally got to his desk. It looked like a full day after all and he realized how nice it was to have family around to fill his time again. That was definitely something he missed.
NCIS
After a fruitless, frustrating day of looking without finding anything usable for his purposes, Tony dragged himself back in the door of his second floor motel room. In need of something to sleep in, he unzipped his duffle bag and was immediately confronted with the small soft brown teddy bear he'd given Ziva on their first Valentine's. It held a stuffed heart between its paws that said 'All my love for you' and tucked behind that was a folded paper. Freeing the note, he read what his wife had written.
Dearest - you will be on my heart and in my mind constantly. I will be thinking of you with every breath. I love you with everything I am and I want you to hold onto that truth when the nights are cold and lonely and the days lack spark because we are apart. Promise you will come running home into my arms the moment you are finished. Ani ohevet otcha l'olahm. Yours always. I love you forever.
Tony sank down on the bed, one finger following each loop and curl in her writing. He noticed she didn't use names, so she was already thinking ahead to his assignment, having anything that could trace to an attachment would be a liability. Her words made his throat tight and he wanted to cry but no longer seemed to possess the ability. Instead all he felt was hopeless because he couldn't be with the person who mattered most to him in the world and he had no idea when he might be able to get back to her.
NCIS
Tuesday May 17
When Ziva walked into work the next morning, Gibbs was instantly on his feet. "David, you are on medical leave. Get your butt back to that apartment."
"The typical healing time for a concussion is between seven and ten days," she spoke as if quoting from a medical journal. "Since it has already been five and I'm showing few adverse effects I believe my time would be better spent at work than sitting at home in utter boredom."
He glared at her but she simply smiled sweetly and waited him out. "Fine," he growled. "But you're restricted to light duty and right now that means paperwork. Knock yourself out." Her brow furrowed and he rolled his eyes. "Not literally. Get to work."
"Thank you."
McGee was already at his desk and he shot her a relieved grin. "It's really good to see you looking so good Ziva. You about gave us all a heart attack last time."
Her expression was apologetic. "I did not do it on purpose."
"I would hope not."
Abby, upon hearing that their friend was back, also came up to the squadroom to say hello and make sure she was in one piece. The only person conspicuously absent was the ninja's partner and her eyes filled with sadness momentarily before she gestured to his empty desk. "Where is Tony?"
Gibbs sighed. "SecNav's going to borrow him for awhile." At her look he shook his head. "That's all I know. Vance was pretty tight lipped about the whole thing."
Ziva's forlorn gaze tripped over to her partner's space again. "I hope it does not take too long."
"You and me both. I hate running off a half-strength team." He couldn't appear to care too much, he had a reputation to protect.
Later that day the team leader took off early and headed for Leyla's apartment. While Amira was down for her nap they continued filling out the paperwork that had been started yesterday and finally finished it in time to get a late supper going. Gibbs spent the evening playing with and reading to Amira while Leyla painted. After the little girl was in bed they sat on the couch together and made a plan to go look at cars before the end of the week. "I'll stop off at a couple of the used lots tomorrow, see if I can narrow down the choices. Then when you and Amira come it won't be so overwhelming."
"Thank you Gibbs." Her smile was genuine. "Mike would be so grateful for all the help you are giving us."
"You know what his favourite rule was."
"Do what you have to for family," she recited. "Yes, he used that a lot. Mostly every time he got a phone call from DC that put him on a plane to see you."
He kissed her temple. "We felt the same way about that."
T pick up alias IDs today or Wed?
NCIS
The conclusion of her first shortened day back to work brought letter #6 from Eli in the mail and this time it wasn't immediately discarded. Instead she sat down on the couch and thought about it, rubbing her finger over her father's bold handwriting on the envelope, but even after half an hour passed she still couldn't bring herself to open it. Surging to her feet, she went into the office and dropped the letter in the garbage, absolutely determined to forget about it. She was not going to let him wreak havoc on her life again, she'd promised herself and Tony. Whatever he was writing, no matter how persistent he was, the man simply had no leverage left to worm his way back into her heart.
Having too much in her head that needed to get out, Ziva searched the desk drawers until she found a blank page notebook at the bottom of one. Armed with a pen she sat in the corner chair and began the first of what she planned to become a journal of letters to her husband, so he could catch up on everything he'd missed while away. Dear ahava - today was awful, going into work without you there. I am missing part of myself and half of one is so lonely. I stared at your desk for hours, every time I thought Gibbs wasn't looking, but I am sure he still noticed. Our friends asked how I was doing and I had to lie to their faces, I cannot tell them that my heart is hollow with your absence, that I miss you every minute and would give anything to feel your arms around me. I do not like this one bit. Meira and I both want you home.
NCIS
Wednesday May 18
When Ziva woke up to a debilitating pain in her midsection, she knew the stress of last week and her husband's assignment had conspired to make her even more miserable. She could tell already that this would be one of her bad months and though she usually preferred to try toughing it out at work with drugs, this time she hadn't the energy to pretend and decided right away not to bother. As soon as the clock reached an acceptable hour for making contact with others she called Gibbs to request a couple days off. At first he was concerned it might be her concussion getting worse but once she assured him otherwise he gave her the time and ordered her to call if she needed anything, though he was fully aware that would never happen.
With no one at the house to tattle on her to the gang or Aunt Nettie, Ziva stayed home and felt sorry for herself. She let herself cry and grieve for her lack of husband as she hugged Moses and tried to ignore the empty space behind her where he usually was, doing anything he could think of to make her feel better even when nothing did. She suffered through a few hours without any drugs, but finally dragged herself to the bathroom for one of the heavy duty painkillers Ducky had given him after the beating a couple months ago. They were completely out of the old drugs and she could tell by what was left that these too would run out long before her discomfort had run its course. This time there would be nothing else she could do but wait it out and hope, for once, that her cycle didn't last as long as usual.
NCIS
By mid-afternoon on Wednesday Tony managed to rent a small one bedroom apartment to sleep and do his research in. He'd already decided not to tell Ziva, figuring it was better to eliminate any temptation on her part if she knew where he was. This way he saved himself the worry that she might try to sneak over sometime in a moment of weakness, and his fear that if she did he just might let her. It came furnished, though that was a generous word for the pressboard coffee table, battered old couch, and wobbly kitchen table with one chair that didn't quite match.
A microwave, coffee maker, and handful of other kitchen items that might be useful were scavenged from a couple second hand shops. He made a quick grocery run for the essentials, including Kraft Dinner and a few microwave meals should he ever feel hungry again. There was no TV, but that didn't matter. He wasn't in the mood to watch anything anyways. The bedding and pillows he bought new and folded them neatly on the couch like Gibbs always did. He was about to become his boss for the length of time this assignment lasted. No way, no how would he sleep in a bed where he'd spend the whole time reaching for his wife who wasn't there.
Once he had all the pertinent supplies Tony took a deep breath and dialed a familiar long distance number, waiting for it to connect. He cleared his throat when it did. "Hi Doda."
A smile spread across Nettie's face. "Anthony, how wonderful to hear from you!"
"I wish I could say this was a social call, but I can't talk long." A temporary burn phone was difficult to trace, especially when purchased from a store that wouldn't ask for identification and kept their security cameras for show only, but he didn't want to take any chances.
Her brow furrowed. "Is something the matter?" This conversation was beginning to sound like the one last year when he confessed to missing Ziva's citizenship ceremony and the implication concerned her.
Tony sighed. "You haven't talked to Ziva?"
Nettie shook her head. "Not since Friday when the two of you called me on Skype together to share about your friend who died and what happened to her." As if they had not suffered enough traumatic events during their marriage, now there was another to add to the list.
"Oh." He sounded defeated. "I thought you would've been her first call."
"Achyan, you are making me worry."
Tony cleared his throat. "Sorry. Uh, there's no easy way to say this, but the powers that be who seem determined to mess with our lives have given me a secret assignment." He swallowed. "It's kind of...sensitive and could be dangerous, so I...can't go home until it's finished."
She wished she could see him, instead of merely listening to the heartbreaking resignation in his tone. "Where are you motek?"
He smiled faintly at the endearment, thinking that he and Ziva couldn't've asked for a better fill-in mom than this wonderful lady who'd adopted them both fully into her heart and life. "I rented an apartment on the other side of the city, as far away from Ziva as I could get. I won't risk her getting mixed up in this."
Nettie clucked her tongue. "So many separations dear one, I do not like it."
"No more than I do." Tony rubbed the back of his neck. "I just wanted to let you know. I'm hoping you can check in on Ziva at least once a week. I'm afraid she's going to withdraw from our friends and keep this all to herself, go back to that shadow she becomes when things get really hard. I want more for her than that."
"I wish I could bring her here," Nettie fretted. "Sometimes my little bird needs someone to look after her."
Hope lit his voice. "Maybe you can."
"How?"
"We were both planning to take some vacation time this summer, but since we no longer have the option of going away together maybe you could convince her to spend it with you." He'd feel so much better if he knew Ziva wasn't alone.
"She may not want to come back to Israel achyan," the old woman explained gently. "But I grew up all around Europe, I am sure there is somewhere we could go that would appeal to both of us. Let me think on it. You are a good husband Anthony."
Tony flexed his fingers, desperately missing the gold circle he'd been forced to leave in his nightstand. That reminder meant more than he could ever say. "You know I was serious when I offered that you could come and live with us, permanently."
"Oh Anthony."
He rushed ahead, hoping to appease her objections. "I've already looked into the zoning laws. We could build an addition, a separate apartment over the garage so you'd have your own space. But you'd be welcome any time you wanted to be in the house. I'd like to add a stairway to the plans that'll let you come in through the garage so you don't have to go outside in the winter."
Nettie sighed. "It is a sweet gesture achyan, really, but-"
Tony still held the trump card. "Ziva and I are going to try for IVF in the fall. If it goes well, you might have those babies to spoil after all."
"Babies?" she asked, wonder encompassed in the word. "There may be a way for my Zivaleh to get pregnant?"
He nodded. "Yeah. And I've been hoping so hard for it. The procedure is expensive, but we've been saving for just over a year and we're using part of her pension money now too. We can only go through it three times, if it doesn't work by then the odds aren't so good."
"I am glad there are other options," Nettie said at last. "Even if she did not say it out loud, I know the thought of never carrying a child bothered her deeply."
"I didn't know how much until the subject started coming up a lot a couple months after she got home, and I saw what she was drawing in her sketchbook." Tony picked at a loose thread in his jeans. "I could've made peace with it just being me and Ziva always, but when it's something we both wanted..."
"Then I will hope for you as well, that the two of you may know the joy of becoming parents."
He licked his lips. "Was that a yes?"
Nettie was quiet for several moments, thinking. "I will come when the baby is born," she answered softly and he loved her confidence that it would happen. "And perhaps by then I will also be ready to stay. I could never give up my little house here, but I will leave it to you when I am gone. I want you and Ziva to have a place to stay, if she ever decides to come back."
"We want to keep you around for awhile yet," Tony argued. "But thanks for the thought. And for even considering my proposal. I know how much it would mean to Ziva, and to you. It's hard to miss someone you love so much."
"Yes, it is." The clock chimed and Nettie glanced up. "Oh dear, I'm afraid I have kept you on the phone much longer than you planned. I will keep in touch with your wife Anthony, and do my best to be her company when you cannot. The rest we can talk about again, when there is more time. Take care of yourself, please."
"Do my best," Tony replied. "Thanks Nettie."
"Anytime Anthony. Shalom."
"Shalom."
A/N2: So gang, unfortunately I'm not able to get back to posting on a weekly basis yet. I've been doing a lot of work on organizing for the next part of the story but I'm not quite there yet. This chapter will serve as the only update for July. I'll post Ch 2 the first week of August and try my very best to be ready to update on a regular basis come September. I apologize for the wait, right now this is the best I can do. I look forward to hearing what you thought of the chapter! ~Aliyah
Replies:
Debbie (Part 5, Ch 57) - I really like Jimmy so I enjoyed the opportunity to work him into the story a bit more. I did, at one point, read a fanfiction about how Jimmy deal with what Cobb did and it really made me think so I wanted to touch on it here too. I like Breena too. I always thought she was a sweetheart but I appreciated the way she handled Jimmy in such a fragile state. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah
Guest (Part 5, Ch 1) - Thank you, that's very nice of you to say :) I've got a touch of OCD so I can't really help the detail stuff but I'm glad you appreciate it. Always so nice to hear that people are enjoying the series. I'm looking forward to the spinoff story after S9 too, it's gonna be a whopper ;) Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah
Sue Dooley (Part 5, Ch 58) - Thank you :) So glad you liked this part. That's a lovely compliment, I appreciate it. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah
Guest (Aftermath, Ch 9) - I am definitely planning to go into Tony's story with the fire and the little boy he rescued in greater detail than the show, though as of yet Part 6 is only sketched out so I'm not exactly sure how that event will unfold. Thanks for your interest! :) ~Aliyah