My first attempt. The title is a reference to a Lana del Rey song (Gods and Monsters) that partially inspired this and that I listened to the entire time I was writing. These characters are not my own. Feedback is greatly appreciated and welcomed. This is my first fanfic, after all! :)
When I was very small, my mother would tell me stories as she combed and braided my hair. Tales of fairies, dust and gold spun from a wheel. I'd sit on the floor and she on my bed and I would listen to her voice spin its own golden tales while her fingers worked with my hair. I had to sit perfectly still, but I didn't mind. These times, her voice was gentle and calm and kind, and I would sit still for a thousand lifetimes to keep her voice that way.
"What happened then, Mama?" I asked breathlessly, hanging onto every word. I could feel a smile in her voice when she continued the story.
"There was a ball, one of the most magnificent affairs I'd ever been to," she said in her quiet, lilting tone. I liked that tone. Her other tone frightened me but this one lulled me to sleep and smoothed my hair from my forehead and wrapped me in warm embraces and lullabies. "There were tables of food as far as the eye could see, with ice sculptures in the shapes of swans and whole roasted pigs with apples in their mouths. And the gowns... oh, you should have seen the gowns we wore, darling. All reds and greens and soft blues and pinks, every color you can think of, and white gloves and sparkling slippers and masks so elaborate you couldn't tell who was who unless they were without theirs." Her words were coming in a rush and I could feel her smile from where I sat. She had finished combing and had taken to stroking my hair and smoothing it between her hands. I closed my eyes. I wanted this feeling to last forever.
"Were there handsome princes?"
She chuckled.
"Princes from every land in the known realm, my darling. All dressed in their finest coats and hats and silk shirts and velvet jackets."
"Is that where you met Daddy?"
She laughed.
"No, I didn't meet your father until later. But he could have been there, I've never asked him."
"Was it really that marvelous, Mama?" I asked. I pulled my legs up to my chest and held them, resting my chin on the tops of my knees. I'd only just turned six, but I wished I were older so I could go to balls and parties and wear pretty dresses and meet handsome princes.
"Don't pull your legs up like that, dear, it's not ladylike." Her voice resumed its usual sternness and I felt my blood run cold. I mumbled an apology and straightened my legs again. I felt her lean forward.
"But yes, it really was that marvelous," she whispered in my ear. I turned to face her and she was smiling so kindly and lovingly that I had to smile in return. A sudden warm glow spread from my heart and out through my veins, radiating in my toes and fingertips. There was no lingering trace of coldness in her eyes– brown like mine– and for a moment I imagined that she was like this all the time. That there were no moments where I had to run and hide under my bed. Hold my doll close to my chest and squeeze my eyes shut and hold my breath to keep the tears at bay. Clap my hands over my ears to drown out the screaming I heard over and over in my head.
"Sweetheart? Are you alright?" Her smile slipped for a moment and was replaced with concern and I snapped out of my thoughts. I smiled and nodded.
"Just thinking."
"Well, time for bed now. Come on, little nightbird, up you get."
I felt the warmth spreading through my body again at the sound of her nickname for me. Even my father didn't call me that. It was just between us. I scrambled into bed with a little help from Mama; I was small for my age and only mere inches from being able to climb up myself into my great big bed and sometimes needed help. I snuggled deep into my blankets and pulled them up to my chin, yawning drowsily. She sat on the edge and brushed a lock of dark hair from my eyes. Her hand lingered on my cheek.
"Goodnight my darling," she whispered, leaning forward to kiss me on the forehead. I closed my eyes briefly and tried to make the moment last. "Get a good night's sleep, we have a big day tomorrow. The guests will arrive at four but the party starts much earlier for us."
"Yes, ma'am."
She smiled and stood, stretching a little before making her way across the stone floor to the door.
"I love you, Mama," I murmured sleepily, burrowing down in my blankets and sighing. Her hand faltered on the door handle and she turned to look at me once more.
"I love you too, Gina," she whispered. Had I not been so tired, I might have caught the sound of tears in her voice.