This is just a one shot for a friend, nothing more. It also crosses over various series', so sorry if you don't get them all.

Now, Rules for Jill: Read the story and follow the directions. Once you see a direction, you must stop reading and open the designated gift. DO NOT READ AHEAD! and the black box says #2, so don't open it first thing.

anywho...

ONWARDS!

Machi gripped the edges of the book. He pushed up his glasses and turned the page. His book was so good! He thought he was about to cry.

'He brushed her hair back as he whispered, "I'll always love you. You make every day I live a day in paradise."

'She was crying now. "Don't do this! I love you too much!" She was weeping, like a child. She couldn't just let him do this! All of those moments together in the forests, the nights under the moon, looking at the stars, all of it. It would all be over.

'He put his hand under her chin to make her look into the eyes she so loved. "That's why I must do this. Not even death... an separate my love for you." Then he leaned in and-'

The door slammed open behind him, making him jump out of his chair. "MAAAACHIIII!"

Machi dropped the book and landed in an extremely uncomfortable position. The only benefit of his new pose was that he could see the door. It was Deidara.

"For goodness sake! Don't do that!" Machi stood up and brushed himself up. He picked up his glasses as he heard Deidara's laughter.

"Sorry Machi-poo, but I'm almost finished with your robe. I need you to try it on." Machi nodded. "Don't keep me waaaitingg!" he said in his sing-songy voice as he walked away.

Machi sighed. These guys were weird. He looked at his book and found out in the tumble that he'd dropped his bookmark and now wouldn't be able to read what happens! And he was just about to kiss her too! He groaned and set the book on the table, vowing to read it later.

He walked out of his room and found the rest of the akatsuki doing usual things. Pain and Konan were playing go fish (Konan was cheating, of course), Zetsu was watching a nature documentary on the TV with Kisame, Tobi was bothering Itachi, who was trying to get a bottle of Ramune from the fridge, Sasori was taking note of all the food left in the pantry, Hidan was probably in his room, admiring himself, and Kakuzu was probably in his room, counting his money. Again.

Machi sighed. He'd heard these guys were the toughest ninja's around, but the things they did in their spare time were so... normal!

At least they didn't bother him while reading.

...most of the time.

He walked into Deidara's room. Deidara, Machi found, was one of the nicer and normal members. Though his mouth hands always creeped him out sometimes. He was always afraid Deidara was gonna lick him while he was asleep or something. he wouldn't put it past him either.

Deidara had just pulled out Machi's new Akatsuki robe and was holding it up. "Tadah...!"

Machi chuckled. "Nice." It did look nice. He couldn't wait to wear it all the time like the others

Deidara threw it at him. "Try it on! It might be a bit long and I wanna make corrections before the party."

Machi pulled the robe on. "...Party?"

Deidara started checking the lengths and proportions, making sure everything looked good. "Yees! Don't you pay attention Machi?" He ruffled Machi's hair, making Machi rather annoyed. "An old member of ours is having a birthday party in a few days. Everyone's been making or getting presents."

Machi was confused. "Old member...?"

Deidara got down and started messing with the hem. "Jiru Uchiha. Good buddy of ours. She left, but will often ask us for small favors with some of her adventures. She's a big adventurous type. She's how Kisame got that pipe fox thing."

Machi nodded. He'd been surprised when the pipe fox had appeared one day, sleeping around his neck. It's had looked like a fuzzy snake with head that looked more like a fox. He'd thought it was a scarf at first, but when it started moving, and kissing him, he'd fallen out of the bed yelling. The pipe fox had then shown its second form: A large nine tailed firefox that was about the size of a large wolf. He'd almost peed his pants.

"She gave him that?"

"Weeeell," Deidara said, now messing with the sleeves, "her friend, Zoe, is a witch who did a favor for an Ame-Warashi."

"A rain sprite?"

"Not just any rain sprite."

Not just any...? Oh. THAT rain sprite. "The one that Pain..."

"Yeah, that one." They both quietly laughed, but knew if Pain knew what they were talking about, they'd be dead. Deidara cleared his throat. "Well, Kisame became the dog sitter while we did our adventuring and he didn't wanna give it back, so Zoe gave it to him, and SHE appears once a month to make sure things are going okay."

Machi nodded. "...so this Jiru... do we all bring presents?"

"We all try to bring one. But we can't usually buy anything because Kakuzu's so stingy. So we make stuff."

Machi nodded again. "What are you making?"

"Well, Not sure. I'm thinking of making a big fireworks display for her. It's gonna spell her name out in rockets with the shrieking shells in the background. I'm working on a small scale model."

Machi nodded. He'd never met this Jill, and he probably wouldn't get her a present, but she sounded interesting... "Friends with a witch you said?"

He nodded, now working on the collar. "Yeah... real good one too." He stepped back to admire his work. "Alright, now take it off." Machi tried not to see the sexual undertone Deidara had given that command. "I'm gonna touch it up, and then give it back."

Machi pulled off the robe and gave it back to him. "So when is this party?"

"Uh, next week friday. And it's a secret, so don't tell."

Who would I tell? I don't know the girl! But Machi nodded again. "Alright, I'm gonna go finish my book."

Deidara nodded. "You might wanna talk to Pain. I think he's gonna send you out to do some messenger business."

Machi could handle messenger stuff. That was something he was good at.

"Got it." With that, he walked into the hall, back to the main room. He went up to Pain who was still losing at poker. Konan saw him first and poked pain gently. She gestured with her eyes to him, making Pain turn.

Pain, realizing Machi was standing there, set down his cards. "Oh, good." He picked up a small bundle and handed it to Machi. "Take these to their corresponding people. Don't come back 'till they're all gone."

Machi looked at him like he was crazy. "What? I don't know all these people!" He looked at the names on the scroll. None of them he recognised, except for one.

Pain sighed, obviously annoyed. He was often like this. "Go to the first one, he'll give you directions to the next. it's like a big puzzle and you get to figure it out. Now go leave me alone!"

Machi wasn't finished. "But-"

"NOW!"

Now Machi was finished. He turned and started walking to the door, throwing dirty glances at pain, who never looked up to catch them.

Machi ran into the fort which he used to know very well. He'd had to know the lay out by heart before his first mission with the Akatsuki. "Hello!" he called.

"Who's there? Machi? Is that you?"

Machi smiled at the familiar face. He ran up the stairs to greet his friend face to face.

"It's been awhile, Kabuto." The two smiled at each other, then both pushed up their glasses.

"Yes it has." Kabuto crossed his arms and leaned against the railing. "What can I help you with?"

"Actually," Machi said, "I have an invitation for you." He handed Kabuto the invitation, who snatched it up and read it in about 20 seconds.

"Oh! Jiru's birthday! Of course I'll come! I've got just the present too!" He walked into the laboratory, Machi following closely behind.

"I've been working on this for a while now. I'm sure she'll love it."

Machi wasn't so sure. The creature before him was nothing natural at all. "What... is that?"

"That... is a griffin," Kabuto said, smiling proudly.

Machi chuckled. "No it's not."

Kabuto looked at him, obviously a little hurt at Machi's disbelief. "Yes it is..."

"Griffin's have the back half of a lion and head and wings of an eagle." Kabuto nodded, not getting Machi's point. Machi grunted and picked up the creature. "This is the head and wings of a chicken with the back half of an alley cat!"

"Well... it's a small griffin!" The creature clucked in Machi's hands and the back legs started clawing at him. Machi dropped it, happily. Kabuto picked up the creature immediately and started stroking it, whispering into its ears like it was a child.

Machi had seen enough. He knew Kabuto was crazy enough to do something like give this to a girl, and he wasn't going to argue. He had a lot more letters to give.

"Hey, Kabuto, can you give me directions to... an... L?"

Machi scoffed at the scene before him. There was a man with spiky dark hair, sitting very oddly in a chair, stirring tea. He had huge black bags under his eyes like he'd never slept before. This is what all those guards were outside for? Seemed a bit anticlimactic.

"Excuse me," Machi said, "Are you L?"

The man looked at him. His eyes were almost completely pupil! "I might be. Who are you?"

"Machi. I have an invitation for you. To Jiru's birthday party." He held out the letter to the man and he took it happily, now excited.

"I love parties.." He said. "There's always free cake... I love cake." The man, Machi assumed it was L, held the letter from the top and started playing with his lower lip with his other hand. Machi waited until L had finished the letter.

"I'll come. Sounds fun." L started putting sugar cubes into his tea. Machi started counting as he talked.

"Good, I'm sure she'll be happy to see you." The count was up to six.

"I hope so... I haven't seen her in a long time..." Twelve. Good grief! How much sugar was this guy going to eat? No wonder he looked terrible.

"I'm sure. Anyways... Could you give me some directions to... Ouran High School?"

"Welcome to the host club!" six voices said in perfect unison. Machi was a bit taken back. There was a room full of guys in weird costumes, all staring at him.

"Uh.. are you guys the Ouran Host Club?"

The blonde guy in the middle stood up and walked to him. "Why yes! We are! Are you here to speak to us?" he put his hands on Machi's arm, immediately making him uncomfortable.

"Uh, sorta." He pushed the guys arm away and pulled out the invitation for Jiru's party. "Here."

The guy read it and immediately gasped with... happiness? "Jiru's birthday!"

Suddenly, the two twins were on each of his shoulders, reading and speaking at the same time. "Jiru's birthday? Alright!"

The little kid was trying to jump up and read it. "lemme see! Lemme see!" The very tall man with black hair picked up the child and held him so he could read the letter.

The blonde boy handed the letter to the others and hugged Machi. "Of course we'll come! Thank you! You've filled my heart with such happiness and sunshine!"

Happiness and sunshine...? Da crap? "uh... You're welcome..." Machi waited for the guy to let go. He wasn't letting go. Finally machi pushed him off. "Anyways... Can you direct me to... the probending arena?

"Bolin! You've got a guest!" Machi followed the guy all the way to the Gym room. This place was more his style. He moved past the man and into the room, where there was a guy with black hair, holding a red ferret.

"You Bolin?" The guy nodded. "I have a letter for you." He held out the invitation. Bolin took it and read it. The ferret looked like he was reading it too. Machi waited.

"OOOOH! Jiru's birthday! Yeah! I'll totally come! Me and pabu will bring her a cool present!" He put his hand on his chin and stroked it. "Hmm..." He looked at the ferret. "What do you think Pabu? What would Jiru like?"

The ferret sniffed Bolin's face, obviously, to anyone with sense, not comprehending a word this guy was saying. However, bolin took it as a response, suddenly gasping and getting excited. "That's BRILLIANT Pabu! I gotta go! Thanks for the invite!" And with that he ran off.

Machi sighed. He went back to the man. "Excuse me, do you know a... Ghirahim?"

This man... was so creepy.

"Well, I don't know. I haven't seen Jill in a while. But I'm sure I'll be able to come." He fliped his shiny white hair. Again. Machi was pretty sure the guy was checking out his ass as he walked around him. His big ass diamond hanging from his ear was swinging. Machi found that MUCH easier to look at than the man who was wearing it. His purple eye shadow kept drawing Matchi back to this man's face though.

"Well, I'll be sure to come though. I'm sure she'll love to see me!"

"Great," Machi said, wanting to get out as soon as possible. "I'll be heading out now."

He turned and started heading towards the door. Ghirahim reappeared in his weird diamonds in front of him. "Already?"

"Yeah, I've got more letters... so, I'm gonna gooo..."

He stepped around Ghirahim to the door and ran out and away as fast as he could.

He had one more stop that were all on his way home, but he knew he was not going to enjoy it. He knocked on the door that people told him was the right house and waited.

The door opened. "Hello sir! Is there anything I can help you with, eh?"

Dear gods... kill me now. Machi had heard about Rock Lee, but never thought he'd have to talk to him one day. Machi threw the invitation at him and ran away, vowing never to return.

Machi stumbled into the base, tired from running. "Back," he said to Pain, who had switched from poker to egyptian ratscrew, but was still losing. He dropped the list with all the names crossed off on the table and started walking to his book.

The next week, new robe on his body, the group set out into the woods. Deidara carried a picnic basket about the size of Hidan's ego. and Kisame and Hidan carried other large items. Machi was forced to carry most of the food.

They came to a small clearing in the woods with a little bit of beach in front of them, a smattering of trees behind them, and plenty of ground for their party.

The guest started coming as they finished setting everything up. First came Bolin, followed by Kabuto who was followed by Orochimaru, then Envy and Girahim, then the host club, then L, than many others that Machi had never met. Eventually the whole clearing was covered in people. Some Machi recognised, but had never spoken to, and others completely unfamiliar. Not being a social creature, Machi ate some food and made idol chatter with some guests, nothing of substance, and waited.

Suddenly, everyone started running behind trees and benches. Clueless, Machi followed, being extremely curious. When everything was empty, the middle of the clearing was the focus of everyone. Machi looked, still confused. Then, in the blink of an eye, the empty space was replaced with two girls. One had long blue hair and looked a bit nauseated, the other with short black hair a red eyes. Both were quite pretty.

Of course, Machi sucked all these details in within a second. He'd always been able to register everything about a person quickly..

By the time the girl had figured out where she was, everyone (Except Machi) jumped up and yelled "SURPRISE!" Machi nearly fell over from the shock of it.

The black haired girl (Machi assumed that was Jiru) jumped a little, but laughed and smiled."You guys..!"

The blue haired girl, now having overcome her sickness grinned. "Happy Birthday Jill!" and with that, hugged Jiru.

The rest of the party continued in the same fashion. It wasn't until it was time for presents that Machi started to get interested. You could always tell a lot about people by what presents they gave. Jill was seated at the head of a round table so everyone could see her. Someone handed her a present, and she began to open it (Jill, open the box)

The first gift was from Kabuto. (Open present one)

Jill took her time in reading the letter. When she finished she smiled at Kabuto. "Thank you! That was so sweet!" He smiled at her and blushed a little, adjusting his glasses.

In her hands, Machi could see the back of a ninja info card, but couldn't see what was on it. Did she collect those things too? Great.. two collectors.

Next, Jill was handed a different present. This one from L. (Open present 2)

It was a small box. Odd, Machi thought he said he was bringing a cake.

As if he read his mind, L said, "I was going to bring you a cake, but I got carried away and ate it. Sorry." Everyone laughed. Machi didn't. He knew L wasn't joking.

Jiru read his letter and smiled. "Thank you!" She held up a small package wrapped in shiny plastic. Inside was a little keychain with L on it, sitting in his weird way.

That's kind of a selfish gift. But Jiru seemed to love it. Machi just didn't understand women!

The next gift was slightly larger. It was from the host club (Open present 3).

Machi was busy watching L and the little blonde haired kid comment to each other about the cake and how much they enjoyed it. Machi hopped this small child wouldn't become as sugar dependant as the man he was sitting next to.

He looked back at Jiru as she opened her gift. Inside was a tall stack of magazines with pictures of the Ouran kids in various places and poses. How corny! But Jiru took one look at it and gasped in delight. "Thank you so much!" she squealed.

It was obvious. Machi knew nothing about women.

The next gift was nonexistent, or so it seemed. Someone handed Jill a letter. (Open present 4)

"Oh! Bolin," Jiru said, glancing at the boy and his ferret. Machi had to admit, that ferret was pretty cute.

Jill finished reading his letter then looked at him. She looked shocked and excited. "You did what?"

Bolin stretched, playin it cool. "Oooh, nothin. Just made a statue of you." He looked at his fingernails. The ferret ran off his shoulders and across the ground, jumping onto the shoulders of an almost life size Jiru.

Jill just stared. "THAT'S SO AWESOME!" She got up and hugged him tight. Clearly, she was happy. Machi could understand this happiness. Who doesn't love a good statue?

The next gift was from Ghirahim. (Open present 5)

The fabulous man smiled and tossed his hair again. Jill read his letter and smiled. In her hand was a large gem.. She smiled at him. "Thank you! I know how you love your jewels."

He smiled. "You're worth it." He tossed his hair again. He made eye contact with machi and then stuck his tongue out. It was so long and gross! Machi must've looked a bit horrified, because Ghirahim laughed. However no one else seemed to notice.

Jiru certainly didn't notice, She was opening her next present. (Open present 6)

Rock Lee, who Machi had been trying to avoid the entire time was smiling up a storm, so it must be his present.

Jill read the letter and grinned. "Sounds good! Name a time and place and I'll be there!"

She opened her present to find two HUGE bottles of maple syrup. Jill gawked, mouth open. Machi chuckled. He didn't know maple syrup was the key to flooring a girl.

Eventually, people started to leave, until it was just the Akatsuki and some other odd guests.

Jiru went through the guests left and talked to each one. When she got to Ghirahim, she gasped as who he was talking to. Some fellow in a pinstriped suit with pink hair and glasses. He had a sword on his side that matched his suit. No wonder he was talking to Ghirahim. Machi mentally shrugged. He'd seen weirder.

The man hugged Jiru. "Happy Birthday dear," He said. " I'm afraid I didn't get you anything, but on my way here, I passed by Kaname, and he told me to give you this." (Open present 7) He handed Jiru a small package wrapped in tissue paper. She opened it and held a square of what looked like black fabric.

Jiru squealed with delight and slid it up her arm. There was a red rose sort of pattern on the arm band. She hugged the man again. "Thank you Sazel! And tell Kaname I say thank you as well."

He nodded. "With pleasure."

Latter, there was no one left but Jiru, her blue haired friend (who Machi had learned, her name was Zoe and wasn't a ninja!) and the Akatsuki. Machi was finally introduced to the two. THen it was time for the Akatsuki's gift.

Pain handed Jiru the letter. "Here." (Open present 8)

Jiru opened the letter that all of the Akatsuki had signed. She smiled. SHe pulled out Kisame's picture and grinned.

Zoe took it from her and laughed. "You still have Phillip?" And on que, the pipefox zipped out of Kisame's sleeve and wrapped itself around zoe's wrist. She laughed as it kissed her cheek.

The sun was setting and the was nothing left but to eat food and wait for the sun to go down, for Deidara had a special present linned up.

When the great ball of fire had disappeared, and Deidara was now on a small island away from them, the show started.

Fireworks of all colors burst in the air. They weren't normal fireworks either. Some would explode in Emoticon faces, or words, or faces of the people standing right next to him. It was incedible. Machi watched the explotion of color up in the sky and smiled. Blues and reds showered them in dappled and sudden light, yellows and greens cascaded like a celestial rain, purples and golds exploded in such ferosity, Machi caught himself jumping once or twice. Machi glanced at Jiru who was crying slightly. It must've been a beautiful and touching sight for her.

When it was over, Jiru's face appeared in a silver and red explotion. It hung there while a sparkling blue rocket flew and wrote "Happy Birthday Jiru" in the sky. Then the words and face were suddenly replaced with an explosion of all the colors, raining rainbow colored sparks on them. It was amazing. Everyone was stunned into silence.

When Deidara came back, Jiru hugged him through her tears. "You guys are the best!"

Machi smiled. He'd have to remember this girl. Maybe he'd get her a present next year. ...then again, she had so many friends, Machi wasn't sure how she was going to get all her presents home.

"We have to go," Pain said, killing everyone's joy.

After many hugs and thank yous, the Akatsuki left, waving as they walked through the woods.

"So, what do you think of Jill?" Sasori asked.

Machi thought about his response. "She seems nice... but next time, I'm not delievering those letters! She's nice, but her friends are all crazy!"

Kisame grinned. "Ain't that the truth!"

All done! Yay! Happy Birthday Jiru! I love you! Hope it's a good one! Enjoy your presents and family time. Eat some cake for me too! byeeee!