by star of david
Harry/Draco
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in this story; they were created by the genius, JKRowling. I do own the plot.
SUMMARY: "It's only now that I'm finding out I was wrong. I've fallen down. I can't do this alone." Draco Malfoy has realized that he has been evil to Harry, his love, for too long. The damage is irreparable. A song fic to Paramore's My Heart.
"Look at your arm, Draco."
I looked at the Mark etched on my left forearm. It was hideous. It made me undesirable.
Not like my actions told you otherwise.
"What do you see?"
"I see a Mark that's made me evil," I replied.
"That Mark has not made you evil, Draco. You aren't evil. You're a good boy who will obey his father and the Dark Lord."
"You're right, I'm not evil. I am a good boy who will disobey his father and the Dark Lord, precisely because they are evil."
Crucio!
I could hear my mother screaming somewhere. Her voice sounded miles away. "Stop, have pity on him," she was shouting.
I could hear the Dark Lord laughing his ugly ass off.
I could hear my father begging the Dark Lord to punish him instead of me.
Oddly enough, I couldn't hear myself, except for the voice in my head. I knew I was supposed to be screaming. I knew it was supposed to be extremely painful, the Cruciatus curse. But I wasn't feeling anything, only anger towards my family and myself.
Voldemort stopped with the Cruciatus. "Just say the word, Draco," he sneered, "and I'll never hurt you again."
My mother was whimpering somewhere. It was pathetic, really.
"You're like a son to me, Draco, you know that," Voldemort hissed. "Join me now, just like your father and mother and Aunt Bella, and our family will be complete."
"Just say yes, Draco!" Lucius begged me. Once again, pathetic.
I didn't realize I was kneeling on the floor of the living room. I slowly got up and opened my mouth to speak.
"Never."
Voldemort's laugh filled the room once again, and he hit me with another Cruciatus. I felt nothing but remorse. I knew I deserved to die, after everything I did to you. All the insults, the treachery, the cruelty I showed you and your friends. Being Transfigured into a ferret or even catching the Sectumsempra spell wasn't nearly enough to pay for everything that I'd done.
I love you. I always have. But I've always been a stupid git, and thought family was more important. That's why I bullied you every chance I could. My father had always expressed his hatred towards you, and I thought bullying you was the right thing to do.
Even though a voice in my head kept telling me to stop.
Even though my heart told me to stop.
I kept going. I've pushed you farther and farther away from me.
It's only now that I'm finding out I was wrong. I've fallen down. I can't do this alone.
But it's not like I can expect your help, or even your sympathy. Not when evil Draco Malfoy has been the bane of your seventeen-year-existence.
I hate myself for not telling you, not showing you, how much I care for you. I love you so much but my actions merely showed you otherwise.
"Join me, Draco!" the Dark Lord shouted.
My heart was still beating. I was still alive.
"Never!" I yelled back.
This heart, it beats only for you.
"Avada Kedavra!"
I saw a flash of green light. Then everything went black.
My heart, which had always been for you, had finally stopped beating.