Welcome to: The Crazy, Random, Yu-Gi-Oh Talk Show!
Good evening, morning, afternoon, or whatever time of day it happens to be! I am Shiro and will be your host. You can recognize me by my SUPER COOL font style (which is what I'm typing in), and my over exaggerated, happy sounding voice! That said, let's begin!
Today on our show, we have two of Yu-Gi-Oh's most popular bishonen: Rex Raptor and Weevil Underwood!
Weevil: Did you hear that, Rex? She called us BISHONEN!
No…Not me, the producers. They wrote the script. So, how does it feel to be on a talk show?
Rex: I feel sexy!
Weevil: I feel like my life-long dream of becoming a hunk has finally come true!
(Who the heck are those producers?) OK…How has life on a TV show affected you?
Weevil: Well, I think Rex would agree with me when I say, it has totally changed our outlook on life.
Rex: Oh yeah, definitely. Before, we thought that the most important thing was obtaining rare, strong, Duel Monster cards.
Weevil: But now, we've realized that the most important thing is…MONEY! ($.$) Do you know how often we get paychecks?
How much are your salaries?
Weevil: We get two whole dollars a day! That's more than my paper boy route!
I guess there's no minimum wage in show biz…So, Rex, what was your favorite TV show growing up as a kid?
Rex: I'll always remember this one show that I was completely obsessed with. It had everything! Dinosaurs, kids, singing. There was a big purple dinosaur with spots, and a little green dinosaur with a bow, and a yellow one with a hat. I still remember that beautiful song they sang…
starts singing
Rex: I love you, you love me…
Weevil: Hey Rex, don't you still watch that show?
Rex: No! I mean…IT HAS FRICKIN' DINOSAURS IN IT! WHAT'D YOU EXPECT?
All right, all right! Next question. Weevil, do you have an eating disorder?
Weevil: I know it's hard to believe, with my gorgeous, thin physique and all, but I do not have an eating disorder.
Rex: What he has is an eating abnormality…
Weevil: What does that mean?
Rex: All he eats is insect food! I swear, it's like every time I turn around, he's out there eating dirt and grass and-
Weevil: You take that back!
leaps onto Rex and bites him
Please remain seated at all times, and don't touch each other! And no biting, either! Now, how did you get a part on Yu-Gi-Oh?
Rex: Well, I ate a Snickers and got plaque on my teeth. So, I went to the dentist to get them cleaned. They put me through so much pain that I naturally wanted revenge. You know how they give you a free toothbrush? Well, not only did I take a toothbrush, but I stole a tube of toothpaste, too! Those idiots stuck up a wanted poster in the lobby, and a guy from Warner Brothers saw it. Recognizing my good looks and star potential, he cast me in the show.
Wow. Eat a Snickers, get a part on Yu-Gi-Oh. Simply amazing. (I SO doubt that's what really happened.) What about you, Weevil?
Weevil: My casting required a lot more work. The WB guys wanted someone that looked like a bug. So, I had to change my whole look from a leaf to a beetle.
Rex: Why did you wanna look like a leaf?
Weevil: eyes glaze over, talks in girlie voice It was so all the little buggies would be drawn to my leaf-like appearance, and I could nurture them and mother them and dress them in cute buggy clothes!
Rex: And I'm weird because I watch a kid's show…
Weevil: Loving bugs is not weird!
Rex: WANTING A SEX CHANGE IS!
Weevil: WHO TOLD YOU I WANTED A SEX CHANGE?
Weevil and Rex attempt to murder one another
OK! THAT'S OUR SHOW, THANKS FOR WATCHING!
Tune in next time for: The Crazy, Random, Yu-Gi-Oh Talk Show!