In which Katherine and Elijah are Catwoman and Batman (Includes Robin!Kol and Harley!Caroline) Major Klatholine brotp and background Klaroline.
Out of all the villains in Gotham, Katherine Pierce certainly wasn't the worst
but she was definitely the best.
There were some real nut jobs in this city, psychologically damaged maniacs with personal vendettas and a penchant for causing chaos.
Katherine wasn't interested in all of that.
Any evil she was responsible was always a necessary evil, from her perspective, born out of a strong sense of survival instinct. So she stole a couple of things here and there; precious stones; priceless artefacts; the odd identity occasionally but she never threatened to blow up four storey buildings or dangled a school bus full of children off a bridge.
No that kind of erratic behaviour got you caught.
And Katherine Pierce did not do messy situations with the whole city as an audience with the cops surrounding you, guns poised ready to riddle you with bullets at the slightest twitch.
That's why she was currently gliding stealthily over rooftops in the dead of the night - in heels, one might add. Clad in her trademark black latex catsuit and mask. The cool air of the evening whipping past her as she streaked through the night unbeknownst to the sleeping residents of Gotham city.
Breaking into the Gallery was a piece of cake. She almost wished the idiots in charge of keeping people like her out, had bothered to get a better security system. Just to give her some kind of challenge.
She bent over, trying to disable the security door between her and the vault, that held a big, fat, ruby, Katherine hoped to get her hands on.
Suddenly, there was a shuffling sound from behind her, she whirled round in the direction of the noise narrowing her green feline-like eyes and listened.
Only to get the shock of her life a second later.
"Hey there Kitty Kat!" Came a familiar and annoyingly perky voice from behind her.
Katherine turned to glare incredulously at the offending person.
"Dammit Caroline! What the hell did I tell you about sneaking up on me like that!? You were literally this close to sudden death,"
Caroline shook her head and giggled.
"Nuh ah, Kitty Kat, not with my trusty hammer around," She lifted up the weapon that had been resting on her shoulders and placed an affectionate kiss on it.
Katherine stopped and took a moment to look Caroline over. She had a red,leather jacket resting on her shoulders and a t-shirt on that said "Daddy's Little Monster" printed in cursive; an extremely poor excuse for pair shorts clung to her hips and backside; on her toned seemingly infinitely long legs, you could see a couple of tattoos printed under the mesh of her fishnets; completing the look, were a pair of black and white, heeled, lace up sneakers combined that with various accessories; skull rings, bracelets with spikes on them and of course there were her blonde curled pigtails, the ends of each dipped in a fluorescent shade of blue and pink respectively.
There was no mistaking, Caroline was strikingly gorgeous, even under the heavy clown-like makeup. In plain clothes, she was every man fantasy. In her current attire, she looked like the fantasy of a teenage boy who read way too many comic books.
"Where's your partner in crime Carebear?" Katherine asked looking around for any signs of the person in question.
Caroline tilted her head with a bemused pout, twirling the end of one of her pigtails around her finger, reminding Katherine of a confused golden retriever puppy.
"You know," She coaxed sensing Caroline's confusion "Red hair, tree hugger, shrieky voice, bat-shit crazy,"
Caroline pondered for a bit, twisting her body left and right as she contemplated. Then her face lit up in giddy realisation.
"Ohh, you mean Rory! She won't come out and play with me tonight, she's having an important meeting with Tristan, apparently," She said rolling her eyes dramatically.
Katherine made a face of disgust at the mention of the Riddler. She was certain there was something going on between himself and his sister, something that went beyond the boundaries usually drawn between siblings.
"And Klaus? Has he decided to let you off the leash tonight?" She quipped.
Caroline made the same confused face.
"Klaus never ties me up silly, not unless I've been a naughty girl," She giggled earning her an eye roll from Katherine.
Katherine was never one to get involved in other people's affairs, that lead to taking an interest in the person and eventually. Caring.
Unfortunately, for her, at this point, Caroline was much like a bad rash that no amount of ointment could clear up. For some reason, she'd decided they should be best friends (a notion she had firmly objected to, not that Caroline had taken any notice) and since then she couldn't help being a little concerned for Caroline's welfare.
Afterall Klaus Mikaelson, the green haired, psychopathic, self-proclaimed King of the city, was no one to trifle with. Many trembled at even the merest whisper of his name. It was unclear to Katherine how Caroline went from a respected psychiatrist at Arkham to playing sidekick/lover to the feared crime lord of the city.
She never went looking for problems, hence why herself and Klaus had never directly crossed paths, but based on the small - regrettable - attachment she'd made to Caroline, she'd be happy to pay 'The King' a little visit if he was hurting Caroline.
But Caroline spoke about Klaus like the sun literally shone out of his ass.
Caroline might be a little off her meds at times but she was pretty adroit when it came to using that hammer, she'd seen her in action once or twice, so surface wise anyway, Caroline didn't strike Katherine as a victim of abuse and what with the considerable amount of skin she always had on show, she probably would've spotted any bruises by now.
That didn't mean she wasn't keeping an eye out, though.
"Spare me the details cupcake," Katherine drawled, picking up the tool she'd dropped on the floor after Caroline had surprised her. "Sorry sweetie but I can't play with you tonight either, I'm busy,"
"Whatcha doin'?" Caroline sing-sang, swinging her hammer by her side and rocking on the balls of her feet.
"What's it look like?"
"You're breaking in the vault," Caroline stated the obvious before exclaiming. "Lemme help!"
"It okay Caroline, I got it,"
"Here, use this," She said before pulling an entire stick of dynamite out from her chest area.
"Holy shit!? What the hell Caroline, do you just carry that thing around with you in your fucking bra?"
"You never know when you might need it," She shrugged tossing the stick in Katherine's direction.
"Wh- no! Caroline, no explosives, no blowing things up,"
Caroline pouted crossing her arms like a bad-tempered child.
"Why not?"
Katherine paused, pinching the bridge of her nose, realising that she wasn't going to get anywhere attempting to reason with her. Suddenly receiving an epiphany, she turned slowly and gave Caroline a devious smile.
"You know what Carebear? I'm super glad that you came here tonight, I need you to be my look out for tonight, can you do that for me?"
"Sounds boring," Caroline replied, scrunching up her nose.
"I've got a surprise for you if you do it for me,"
Caroline's eyes lit up at that.
"What kinda surprise?"
"You'll have to wait and see won't you? You'll get it as soon as I'm done,"
"Okay Kitty Kat, you got it!"
Katherine breathed a sigh of relief when Caroline skipped out into the hallway quietly singing Britney Spears' Oops I Did it Again under her breath.
She had to be quick since Caroline's presence was threatening to blow her cover. She knew it wasn't exactly fair to manipulate her like that, but she'd figure out a way to make it up to her some other time.
Now, for that ruby.
Upon cracking open the safe, Katherine reached into it with her gloved hand and picked up the stone. Even in the dim moonlight shining through the crack in the door, the stone sparkled in her hands. After admiring it for a moment she slipped it into a pouch attached to her belt.
She closed the vault re-entering the code to seal it shut. After closing the security door she was about to go out back out the way she came almost forgetting all about Caroline. She was just planning what to do with the rest of her night when...
"Aaaaargh! Bloody Hell!"
"Kaaaaatheeeriine, don't worry about giving me that surprise tonight, I already found one of my own," Came Caroline's ecstatic voice from the foyer.
Katherine contemplated just leaving like she'd planned but something inside her told her to go out, and investigate what the hell what was going on.
Katherine rounded the corner to see Caroline with her hammer poised over her head and one of her heels pressed tightly against the neck of one Kol Mikaelson.
"Look, Katherine, it's the Boy Blunder!"
The man in question sprawled rather helplessly on the floor turned his head - with some difficulty - and grinned at Katherine.
"Hello Katty,"
"Well, well, what do we have here?"
"I caught him before he even knew what hit him," Caroline beamed proudly.
"Literally," Kol grumbled.
"What do you want Kol?"
"That Ruby you've got one you for one, second I'd really love if you'd call off your guard dog here,"
There was a sharp cracking noise, as Caroline lifted her shoe from Kol's neck and slammed her hammer down onto Kol's ribcage instead.
"GARAAGHHH, give me a break you crazy bitch,"
"Careful," Caroline giggled manically " I know a certain someone who wouldn't appreciate you calling me that,"
Kol's face paled at the mention of his wayward brother but he managed to stumble to his feet clutching his ribcage and hobbling slightly. Katherine almost felt sorry for him, maybe she should bring Caroline along with her more often.
Then a realisation dawned on her.
"Where is he?"
"Who?" Kol asked now propped up against the nearby wall struggling to catch his breath.
"You know who," Katherine snapped. "The city's saviour," She sneered mockingly. "If you're here then he's not far behind somewhere,"
Kol opened his mouth to answer her, but he closed it again almost immediately, smirking at something over her shoulder.
Katherine didn't need to turn around to figure out what it was.
"Good evening Katerina,"
Katherine slowly turned taking in the sight of the tall broad shouldered figure dressed only in black.
"Thank you for having the good sense to look afraid,"
Katherine tilted her head and furrowed her brows.
"I'm not afraid, I just don't like you,"
"Well this ought to be good," Kol mumbled.
"Hello Elijah," said Katherine.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to relieve you of that item on your personage,"
"Is that right?"
"Oh I'm afraid so, you see what you have in your possession doesn't appear to belong to you,"
"Well you know me, Elijah, I'm not a big fan of playing by the rules,"
"The ruby Katherine, I won't ask you again,"
Katherine made a face pretending to be contemplating, then gave him her best smile.
"If you want this from me, you can come over her and take it from me,"
Elijah gave a deep long-suffering sigh, as if Katherine's defiance posed a horrible inconvenience for him.
"In that case, I'm afraid you leave me no choice,"
The only warning Katherine or anyone received, before experiencing what happened next, was the small flickering sound of a lighter behind her. That's when she remembered the plucky blonde in the room.
All at once there was a loud explosion; the smell of sulphur and a large purple/grey mist surrounding the area. Not missing a beat Katherine raced as quickly as her impressive legs would carry her out of the room leaving Kol and Elijah literally in her dust.
"Asta la vista boys!" Caroline yelled through the din on Katherine's heels trying to catch up.
By the time the smoke cleared both women were long gone. As Katherine escaped into the night she could hear the police sirens in the distance.
Suckers.
She'd have to remember to get Caroline a thank you gift for that little stunt.
As Elijah resigned himself into his favourite chair, in the Batcave, by the fireplace he took a sip of bourbon and let his head fall back against the chair.
"I think I'm getting too old for this,"
"Cheer up Elijah," Kol said clutching an ice pack to his side and his head with each hand. "We weren't to know Kitty-nine-lives was planning on teaming up with Klaus' nutcase bed buddy, personally, I think we should be glad it wasn't the other one with the red hair, ooh she was a right nutter,"
"Foiled again by the incomparable Katherine Pierce," Elijah muttered shaking his head bitterly.
Kol scoffed loudly.
"Are you really going to sit there and pretend you two aren't going to be cosied up in each other's arms this time next week, pretending none of this ever happened?"
When Elijah kept his face perfectly neutral Kol continued.
"Honestly, Elijah you must take me for a right idiot,"
"Well if your performance this evening is anything to go by-"
"You weren't there, she had a bloody hammer!"
"Yes I'm quite glad I wasn't, I imagine it was rather embarrassing to watch.
I'm retiring to my room, Good night brother,"
"Sleep well, try not to think too hard about Kitty Claws in that lovely catsuit of hers,"
Elijah shot Kol one last dirty look then left the room.
"Booking for Katerina Petrova please,"
The blonde, slightly overweight woman behind the desk looked up from her crime novel to see a slim brunette woman on the other side of the desk. She wore tall stilettos, a black trench coat, a red bag and a matching red big brim hat, her green eyes hidden behind a large pair of shades. She looked like the type of suburban housewife that went out of town to have an extramarital affair with their next door neighbour. They got a lot of those around there.
She looked up and checked his screen.
"Certainly Ms Petrova, you have yourself have a lovely stay,"
She watched the woman stroll idly toward the elevator wondering what kind of man awaited her in her room. Working the front desk wasn't the most interesting job, but observing some of the guests that came here was the highlight of the receptionist's day.
The elevator stopped at floor 5.
Slowly Katherine walked toward the suite door and swiped the room card.
Her lover stood in the room waiting for her, clad in one of his trademark suits holding a bottle of champagne.
It was all so cliche and yet she couldn't wait to tear him out of that suit.
"Katerina," He said glancing up momentarily from pouring the drinks.
"'Lijah," She purred, then strode forward with a sudden sense of urgency, nearly knocking the bottle of out of his hand as her arms wrapped around his neck, stealing a passionate kiss from him that he enthusiastically reciprocated.
"I missed you," She said breathlessly, momentarily breaking the kiss.
Elijah leisurely began placing kisses down the creamy column of Katherine's neck.
"I'm surprised you had time to miss me, What with how busy you've been,"
Katherine rolled her eyes.
"'Lijah," She whined. " You know the rules, no talking about work,"
He chuckled. "Work? You're a glorified cat-burglar, my dear," He teased.
"And you're a billionaire, vigilante who likes to play dress up in the middle of the night with his younger brother," She shot back.
"Touche,"
"But not in here, were not those people in here,"
"Let's not fool ourselves, darling, of course we are, our secret identities are a part of us whether we like it or not,"
"Elijah you're ruining the moment,"
"Do you ever wish things could be different?" He asked, looking into her eyes longingly.
"Maybe in a difference place, in a different lifetime, but for now it's like you said; I am who I am and so are you. I haven't figured out a way to stop loving you yet, so until one of us does, it looks like we're pretty much stuck in this weird purgatory for the rest of our lives,"
"Would it be awfully sappy to say that there's no place I'd rather be?"
"Yes," She whispered closing the gap between them again and pushing their bodies backwards onto the bed. "It would,"
When Katherine Pierce got up the next morning, she was alone.
She felt the ghost of someone's hand on her naked shoulders that morning, kisses on her neck and shoulder blades. She'd kept her eyes shut and pretended to be asleep. She didn't want to watch him leave.
It was always better that way.