Title: Translation
Rating: PG-13
Universe: Air Gear
Theme/Topic: Pet Names
Character/Pairing/s: Ikki, insinuations of SanoxKazu
Warnings/Spoilers: None I can think of? Probably just OOC and stupidity and CRACK.
Word Count: 514
Time: 19 mins, minor edits.
Summary: Learning to read Sano and Kazu speak as easy as one, two, porn.
Dedication: seca- prize drabble for her for getting one of my quiz questions right! Hope this works!
A/N: Okay, this is supremely stupid. But it was fun, and I AM FREE FOR THE WEEKEND NOW SO I AM CELBRATING BY BEING DUMB, OKAY? Yeah.
Disclaimer: Not mine, though I wish constantly.
Distribution: Just lemme know.

Akito had sweetly pointed out that maybe Kazu-kun and Sano-kun were being a little "bold" (read: obvious) with their flirtation lately.

Well no fucking shit.

Really, Ikki thought the two dumbasses were getting beyond transparent now. They were practically getting to be thin air for god's sake.

"Pig!" Kazu shouted suddenly, and whirled around to kick Sano pointedly in the shin.

Yeah, Ikki knew this old song and dance pretty damned well already.

"Stop groping me in public," he translated to himself mentally.

"Stupid asshole," Kazu continued with a low scowl, cheeks bright pink and looking flustered but only in a not-bad-way.

"Grope me where no one can see," Ikki continued in his head, and could practically see the subtitles running under the two lovebirds as they duked it out in the middle of the goddamned street and made eyes at each other they thought no one else could see.

"Hmm," Sano responded absently, and rubbed his bruising shin, adjusted his glasses cool as ice.

Translation: "I like the way your butt looks in those shiny pants. Heh. Hehehehe."

Well, Sano was weird like that, Ikki supposed.

"God you're fucking incorrigible," Kazu grumbled after a moment, sounding resigned before turning—somehow-- redder when Sano only looked even more intently at him on that particular accusation.

"You make me horny when you stare at me like that."

"Sorry," Sano responded calmly, and didn't sound sorry in the least.

"I'm not sorry you're horny. I'm sorry I'M horny and you're not letting me grope you in public."

Kazu sighed. "You're an idiot. A stupid bastard idiot."

"You're an idiot. But you have sexy glasses."

Well, Kazu was weird sometimes too, Ikki supposed.

"Oi, Ikki!"

"What?" the team leader asked when the blond shouted at him, blinking out of his reverie and shoving his hands into his pockets with a roll of his eyes. He slouched over towards the transparent duo nonchalantly and waited for the refrain.

"Stop whatever perverted mental theater's going through your head. I'm gonna go find a bathroom and wash the dirty pedophile feeling off of me."

"Yeah, yeah," Ikki muttered, and waved the blond off. "Bring me back a soda."

"Get your own goddamned soda," Kazu snorted, before skating casually off in search of a clean restroom.

"I'll get you a soda, my liege," Sano offered, helpfully. Maybe too helpfully, even for him.

Ikki scoffed. Kazu was right about one thing in all of this—the sleazy bastard really was fucking incorrigible.

Without waiting for a response from the dark-haired teen, Sano promptly skated off—unsurprisingly—in the same direction Kazu had taken.

"Argh, why are you following me, dickweed?"

"Quickie in the men's bathroom at the Famima around the corner?"

"Yes," Sano said.

"Oh baby."

Ikki sighed when the mental image he got from that last line permanently scarred his brain—full of wrong, wrong, wrong-- and wished the two of them would stop being so fucking cute with one another.

And maybe not forget his goddamned soda when they got out of the bathroom this time.

That'd be nice too.

END