Disclaimer: I Don't own Degrassi. If I did I would be Writing Scripts for you to watch not Fan Fics for you ro read!

Summary:A Short AU Fic (It was originally going to be a one-shot but It ended up a little too long...) Set after Back in Black, Jay, Ellie and Emma arrive back in degrassi without Sean, What happens when Jay starts to feel something for Ellie? Will she accept him and his help or not? For the purposes of this fic Jay and Alex Broke up before Back in Black

Heartstrings

Chapter 1

For the first time ever my car was actually in silence. No loud heavy music or conversations, instead the air was filled with a silence that neither me nor the two girls with me wanted to break. It was like someone had died or something. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel as I waited for the traffic lights to change. Minutes later I pulled up outside the Nelson-Simpson residence and looked across at the blonde in the back seat.

"Your stop Green Peace" I said finally breaking the tense silence that had been building since we left Wasaga.

"How do you know where I live?" She asked suspiciously

"A Man never tells his secrets, are you getting out or what?" I replied rolling my eyes

Green peace gave me one of her trademark glares before leaving the car slamming the door behind her. I shook my head and started driving again.

The silence that now filled the car was, if possible, more awkward than earlier. I glanced over at the red head next to me as I drove, she was looking out the window, I could tell she was putting a brave face on, I could see her hand was shaking a little. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her, she looked completely exhausted and upset.

We arrived at the Apartment she had until today shared with her boyfriend, my best friend Sean. God he'd been gone all of two hours and I already wished he was still here, I was now facing a night in front of the television as he wouldn't be around to hang out with. I felt like I should make sure the petit red head in my car was ok, after all it was my best friend who had just managed to, by the looks of things, break her heart or whatever. I stepped out the car as Ellie did and she shot me a look half questioning, half annoyed look. Which I let go over my head, I felt like I should just check she would be okay in a flat all alone and perhaps offer to keep her company for a bit, and after all I had nothing better to do. I followed her up the steps to the apartment and stopped on the doorstep as Ellie fiddled with the keys unlocking the door.

"You going to be ok Red?" I asked hoping she'd let me hang round for awhile.

She nodded and pushed the door shut. Feeling a little rejected for some reason I sighed. I felt sorry for the girl, her and Sean seemed practically attached at the hip, sure he was my best friend but for some reason I think he meant a whole lot more to her. It seemed that way, even to the ignorant people of the world such as me. I wads a little annoyed she didn't invite me in, I could have used the company but whatever. I guess the television and a couple of beers awaited me. I was just about ready to practically want to beg my best friends now ex-girlfriend for company, something I'd never have thought I'd be ready to do, but for some reason I feel drawn to her.

I put my hands in my pockets and sighed as I began to walk away, suddenly I heard a crash from the apartment behind me, I looked over my shoulder and then decided to change direction and go back to check Ellie was ok. I opened the door startling Ellie who looked up from the kitchen table which she had obviously just tipped over, the plates and cups that had been laying on the table were now scattered across the floor most of which smashed into several pieces.

I looked into her white face which was streaked with tears. Our eyes met and I looked into her usually bright eyes and noticed how dull they were, I began to think perhaps Sean's departure was hitting her harder than I had ever thought.

"Why don't you go change or something, while I sort this out?" I suggested gesturing towards the mess.

Ellie shrugged half heartedly and headed towards the bathroom. I started cleaning up the mess, me cleaning, boy Sean would have had a field day. I laughed to myself as I binned the broken plates and cups. Once I had cleaned up the mess and she still hadn't returned from the bathroom. I wasn't sure what to do next so I helped myself to a Drink from the fridge as I've done many a time when hanging round with Sean at the apartment and took a seat on the sofa. Once my drink was finished I looked over at the bathroom door wondering what on earth the red head could be doing in there to take that long.

I put the empty can down on the coffee table and went over to the familiar bathroom and tapped on the door which Ellie mustn't have shut properly as it opened a little as I tapped.

"Ellie?" I asked as I pushed the door open, not sure what I would find behind it.

Of all the sights I could have possibly thought I might see, Ellie holding a Razor to her already bleeding arm was not one of them. She jumped as I came in and the shiny blade dropped to the floor clinking gently.

After I had shaken off the initial shock of the whole situation I grabbed the nearest towel and grabbed her arm, she resisted at first but eventually let me hold the towel on. I suddenly felt even more drawn to her seeing her in this completely vulnerable state. I had heard the rumours Ellie cut herself but to see it with my own eyes was frankly scary. Even for the oh so hard Jay Hogart.

"What on earth were you trying to do?" I said I couldn't help the accusing tone slipping into in my voice, I swear I didn't mean to sound like I was telling her off but I couldn't help it she could have killed herself, she tried to pull away but I held on tightly to her arm.

"Get off me" she muttered tugging at her arm she began to fight me again for a minute before giving up.

"No" I replied "Ellie these are deep you'll end up bleeding to death if you don't let me stop the bleeding"

"What if I want to bleed to death" she hissed slightly some of her usual fiery temperament shining through "anyway why do you even care?"

"I just do" I shrugged and we fell into a fairly awkward silence.

"Why would you do this anyway?" I asked breaking the silence a few minutes later

"I didn't know what else to do" she admitted not looking me in the eyes. "Old habits die hard"

I took in for the first time that night that her arm was actually covered in old scars as well as these fresh cuts. So the rumours last year must have been true. My Heart skipped a little for her as I tried to look her in the eye but she avoided my glance.

"I stopped, I hadn't even thought about doing this in ages and Sean…" she started but she choked up when she said his name, she started to sob.

I watched as she broke down in front of me. Not knowing what else to do I let her cry into my shoulder, I'm Jay bloody Hogart Girls do not usually come to me for comfort even as a last resort. I felt my shirt becoming wet from the tears coming from her eyes and I stroked her bright red hair comfortingly, at least I hoped it would be comforting… I've never been much good at this type of thing… I was always thankful Alex had been a tough girl, not the type to cry on my shoulder. This had to be one of the most awkward positions I had ever been in.

We must have sat there in the bathroom, her sobbing into my shoulder for an hour until she was all cried out. She sobbed silently once she had run out of tears and eventually she wiped her eyes and pulled away a little blushing.

"You ok?" I asked her

"I guess" she sighed

I placed a hand on her should and she looked up into my eyes suddenly she shook my hand off and stood up.

"Oh god sorry Jay, you should go…" She started

"No, I'll stay, keep you company." I protested "You go sit down and I'll make you a drink"

She opened her mouth to protest but I gave her one of my glares and she raising an eyebrow and nodded a little. She stood up and led the way to the living area where she took a seat on the sofa tucking her legs up. I proceeded to boil the kettle and make two cups of tea.

"Sugar?" I asked

"What?" she asked

"Do you take sugar?" I asked again

"Oh, yeah one" she replied.

I stirred in the sugar and took the two cups over to the sofa and handed her one. She gave me a small smile which I took as a thank you and sat down next to her. We sat in silence sipping at our drinks. I didn't really know what to say, we'd never been close the only thing we had in common was Sean, the awkward silence was made even more awkward after what I'd just seen in the bathroom, I really had no idea what to say.

"I'm going to go to bed" she announced standing up after awhile.

"Mind if I take the couch?" I asked

"You don't have to stay you know, I'll be fine on my own" Ellie responded putting her mug on the coffee table

"After that little scene in the bathroom? I think I should keep you company." I replied and she avoided my glance "Just for tonight anyway"

"I don't need baby sitting" she shook her head

"Well I don't want to leave and come back to school tomorrow to hear you bleed to death over night." I told her "Blankets still in the airing cupboard?"

"Yeah" she shrugged tiredly giving up "Night"

"Night" I replied.