Me: Hello! Im a big Hobbit fan. I have another story that's mainly for me, but I'm putting it up her and another X reader version.
Bilbo: So, feel free to check, but you don't have to, of course.
Thorin: Just enjoy.
Here In the shire there was a hobbit. He lived in Bag End, and was a baggins. He was a weird, but respectable hobbit who just so happened to be about to go on an adventure.
Bilbo sat down in his nice arm chair relaxing. He had a book in hand, with a roaring fire. His hobbit hole unchanged. He smiled to himself, before getting up and setting down his book. He picked up his pipe and went to his front lawn to enjoy the day.
He sat there letting out puffs of smoke, until something bumped his nose. It smelt like smoke? He opend his eyes and a smoke butterky dissintegrated. He looked to find a familar man standing there.
"Good morning," he greeted.
The male readjusted himself. "What do you mean? Are you wishing me a good day, or are you saying it is a good day whether I want it or not? Or... perhaps you mean that you feel good on this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that it is a morning to do good?..."
The man ranted, and Bilbo just blinked. 'Is he questioning the phrase good morning?' "Uh... all of them... at once, I suppose."
Bilbo looked to him still confused, but troied to continue convorsation. "Can I help you?"
The grey beared man with a pointy hat, looks to him inquisitively. "That. Remains to be seen. I'm looking for someone to go on an adventure."
Bilbo looked to him like he's a loon. "An adventure? Now, I don't imagine anyone west of Bree would be intrested in adventures, Nasty, disturbing uncomfortable things. Make you late for Dinner!"
The man looks to him in thought. Bilbo who grew uncomfortable, got up and checked his mailbox, before heading back to his home. "Goodbye," He stated, trying to escape the look.
The man rolls his eyes, unhappy. " To think! I should be Good-morninged by Belladona Tooks son! As if, I were selling buttons at the door!"
Bilbo turned around to look at him, curious. "Beg your pardon?"
He grimaces. "You've changed, and not entirely for the better, Bilbo Baggins."
Bilbo narrows his eyes. "Im sorry, do I know you?"
The man huffs. "Well you know my name, though you don't remember I belong to it. I'm Gandalf. And Gandalf means... me."
Bilbo widens his eyes. "Gandalf! Is that you!? The wandering wizard with such amazing fireworks, and my mothers dear friend!"
Gandalf smiles, "Im glad you remember me. Now, I muist go tell the others..." He walks off, with a smile.
Bilbo looks to him confused. "Gandalf! Hey! Who are you referring to!?"
Bilbo sighs, seeing his out of ear shot. He turns around, walking back to his home. He remembers it's grocery day too. He curses before running in to grab his wallet and jacket.
-Im-A-Line-Maybe-I'm-Pretty-?-
Bilbo had just made a lovely cooked salmon for Dinner, when the doorbell rang. He sighed, and got up to open the door. When he opened it there was a tall black haired Dwarf that was balding. He widened his eyes, a little intimidated, and covered himself with his robe.
He stood up straight and said, "Bilbo Baggins, at yours."
The dwarf stepped insoide, and looked around. "Where is it?
Bilbo looks to him confused. "Where is what?...?"
The dwarf looked straight at him. "Supper. He said there'd be food. And lots of it."
Bilbo looked more frazzled now, "Who, said what?"
Bilbo showed him the dining table, and let him begrudgingly eat his own meal. Bilbo looked annoyed, watching him eat. The dawrf looked to him.
"This is good. Is there anymore?" He hoped so.
Bilbo looked confused, and then nodded, understanding. "Oh. Yes. There is. "
He walked over to his plate of rolls and saved two for him before handing some to Dwalin. Dwalin took them and started eating them in seeminly one bite each.
Bilbo looked to him. "Help yourself... It's just.. I wan't expecting company, you see..."
The door bell rings, and Bilbo agitated, goes to the door. He once again found another door behind it.
"Balin. At your service~" The dwarf smiles.
Bilbo smiled some. "Good evening."
The dwarf looked outside. "Yes. Yes, it is. Though I think it may rain later. Am I late?"
Bilbo looked at him confused. "Late for what?" The dwarf pushed past him.
Dwalin smiled at Balin and they walked up to each other. They conversed, Bilbo hopelessely confused. They go through his pantry, while Bilbo tries to confront them about thier visit. Both men caught the the tail end of his sentence, and one forgave him. Bilbo sighed, and walked out. He heard the door bell again and glared.
Bilbo found 2 younger looker dwarves, face emotionless.
They both smiled, trying to be friendly. "Fili" The blond stated.
"And kili" The raven haired announced.
"At you service." Both answered bowing. "You must be Mr. Boggins." One butchered.
Bilbo not caring if they were polite till that point, tried to close the door. "Nope! You can't come in, you've come to the wrong house!"
Kili looked to him confused. "Has it been cancelled."
Fili looked to the blond. "No one told us."
Bilbo stuttred about nothing being cancelled for nothing had been sceduoled.
Both pushed through, relieved.
Bilbo stood there still shocked.
Fili commented on the home before dumpoing his weapons on Bilbo and telling him to be careful. Kili handed Bilbo his weapon too before walking around. He ended up scraping his shoe against the box near the door.
Bilbo Huffed and set the weapons down. "Be careful! That;s my mother's Glory box! Can you please~ Not do that!"
Dwalin pulls them in to re-arrange the houses dining room to fit more people. "Kili, Fili, come on, give us a hand."
They start moving about furniture, and once the door bell rang, Bilbo was set off.
He grumbled before yelling out, "No! no! No body's home! Go away and bother someone else! There's far too many Dwarves in my Dining room as it is! I-i-i-if this is some clotterd's idea of a joke, then it is in poor taste!"
He opened the door and a pile of dwarves fell over revealing Gandalf. Bilbo sighed, and looked to him for support. "Gandalf."
-Hi-Another-Line-
Bilbo sighed, and pulled Gandalf aside. "Gandalf! Please! Tell why there are Dwarves in MY Dining room?"
Gandalf smirked for the slightest second. "Why... They're a merry gathering! They're here to ask something of you."
Bilbo looked to him unamused. "Tell me it's not just food... are they even trustworthy? I mean... Look!" Bilbo pointed to them getting out the plates, and taking more of his newly bought food.
Gandalf chuckled. "They're very trustworthy. I can't promise you'll have any food at the end of the night. Bomber eats more than any dwarf I've ever seen."
Bilbo sighed. "I trust you on this..." Bilbo goes back to telling the dwarves to put up the valuble breakables.
One dwarf notices Bilbo's maps and looks at it.
He walked up and asked, "How'd you get this?"
Bilbo looked to him confused. "Get what? The map? It was at a market. I saw it, and decided to add it to my collection."
The dwarf, looks to him suspicious. "This is a dwarven map. A map of the Iron hills..." He see's more dwarvish text. "What do you do with it?"
Bilbo looked to him. "I collect many maps and texts. I can't read the dwarven ones..."
The dwarf humms, and starts to look over them.
Bilbo goes in to see the dwarves clashing knifes, and forks. "He glared. "Now stop that!You'll blunt them."
The dwarves ooh.
"D'hear that lads, we'll blunt the knives!" Bofur taunts.
They start to sing.
Blunt the knivs,
bend the forks
Smash the bottles and brun the corks
Chip the glassess and crack the plates
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
Cut the cloth and tread on the fat
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat
Pour the milk on the pantry floor
Splash the wine on everydoor
Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl
Pound them up with a thumping pole
When you've finished, if any are whole
Send them down the hall to roll
...
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
Bilbo looks to them unimpressed. The doorbell rang once more, and Bilbo sighed.
Gandalf looked over. "He's here."
Bilbo looked to him for a second, before opening the door again. Bilbo stared. He looked to the raven haied brunette, with blue eyes, and melted. It was worse when he spoke.
The dwark looked to Gandalf with a 'what the hell' kinda look. "Gandalf... You said this place would be easy to find. Yet I got lost, twice. I wouldn't have found it if it weren't for your mark."
Bilbo stood aside watching.
Gandalf shrugged helplessly. "This is Bilbo Baggins, Bilbo this is Thorin Oakenshield. Leader of this company."
Thorin walked up to Bilbo. "Ah.. So this is the hobbit. Tell me... how much fighting have you done?"
Bilbo looked to him like he was insane. Thorin continued, and started circling Bilbo.
"Sword, or axe? Weapon of choice?" He interrigated.
Bilbo looked to him. " Well, I do have some skill in Conkers if you must know... but I don't see why it's important."
Thorin sneered. "Thought as much." He then smiled some. "Seemes more like a groccer, than a burglar."
The others laugh, and Bilbo wants to smack Thorin. As Thorin eats, they catch up.
TBC
Me: So~ This is chapter 1. And let me tell you it is a 3 way... but it's a horrible start! XD
Bilbo: He insulted me!
Me: I know! But he's not so bad... You'll see.
Thorin: This is intresting. What of this other supposed male?
Me: It's me! Mwuahahahaha!
Please review! Thx!