It should be pretty self evident that we don't own any of the Bioware created characters that appear in this story. That's why it's published as a fanfic - DUH! With that out of the way...R&R - enjoy and let us know what you think of it.

The elf sighs heavily, staring at the ceiling of the cave and listening to Deekin and Valen, who are both snoring heavily. It was a wheezy "melody" from Deekin and a deep sonorous "harmony" from Valen.

She rolls over and shoves her head under her pillow hoping that sleep will come. She sighs again, pulling the pillow more tightly over her head and envying Nathrrya, who's outside keeping watch.

Finally, with her fingers stuck in her ears, she gets enough silence to doze off. She sleeps fitfully, not really trusting Nathrrya or Valen, no matter what the Seer says about them.

&&&&&&

Outside, Nathrrya shakes her head and wonders how any of them could possibly sleep through that racket. Leaning against the door of the cave, she causally pulls out one of her daggers and begins cleaning her nails while contemplating killing Valen and Deekin for nothing more than some silence.

She considers what the Seer will think when she has to tell her that her foremost guardian and new favorite pet are both dead. Since the Seer isn't likely to look kindly on such an announcement, she sheaths her dagger with a wistful look and decides that Valen and Deekin can live…for now.

Still, if she ever gets the chance to get even with them for both being so annoying, she'll teach them a thing or two about the drow and revenge. "You annoy a drow," she chuckles to herself, "at your own peril." Nathrrya leans against the opening of the cave and tries to find a comfortable spot.

Unable to do so, she moves off to sit against a nearby rock. After she gets comfortable for her watch, she looks off into the distance and spots some mushrooms she recognizes.

Grinning to herself, she whips her dagger back out and moves to collect some of them. They aren't poisonous…exactly. Valen's demonic blood also makes it hard to guess at the correct dosage, so she decides to err in favor excess.

She leaves a few trimmings out and quickly catches some of the large Underdark rats. Knowing that Seer's chosen little moon elf is squeamish about such things, she sets about cleaning them.

As she skins each one, she frowns to herself, "What has that prissy little blue-haired freak have that I don't? How can the Seer possibly think that a bard can defeat the Valsharess? What's she going to do – sing her to sleep?"

With the ingredients for a feast gathered, Nathrrya moves quickly back to camp. Nathrrya muses to herself while she makes breakfast about how unhappy the Seer would be with her if the Seer were to find out she spiked the "Chosen One's" breakfast.

As an afterthought, she scoops out a second bowl before she starts adding the mushrooms. She stirs the pot for a while and when it smells like it's a full potency…uhhh…done to her, she goes to wake the others.

She wakes the Seer's "Chosen One" and shoves a bowl into her hands, "Here…have some breakfast."

Nessa digs in gratefully, happy for the hot meal and, after her recent experiences with drow food, not too willing to ask about the ingredients.

Valen wakes and inhales deeply. He looks around, a bit groggily, "What's cooking?"

Nathrrya points at the pot on the fire, "Fix your own."

Deekin wakes as well and sniffs the air experimentally, "Hmmm….smells like Old Boss' feet. Deekin thinks drow be grumpy because they gassy from bad food. Old Boss always be in bad mood when he gassy."

Valen shoots the kobold a dark look as he crouches next to the pot on the fire, serving himself.

As Deekin watches the contents of the pot rapidly diminishing, he shouts, "Hey! You leaves some for Deekin. Deekin be hungry too."

Valen glares at the kobold and momentarily contemplates adding Deekin to the cook pot. "I hear they taste like chicken," he muses to himself.

At seeing Valen's contemplative stare wandering between him and the cook pot, Deekin shrieks, "Boss! Deekin not likes how goat-man looking at faithful kobold companion!"

Nessa rolls her eyes while she finishes her breakfast, "Cut it out guys. You're both being jerks."

"Goat-man starts it!" shrieks Deekin as he reaches to scoop the remnants of the food into his bowl.

As he raises his spoon to his mouth, he notices an odor that strikes a memory, and he decides he isn't that hungry after all.

As he moves to put his bowl down, Valen speaks up around a mouth full of food. "You gonna eat that?"

Deekin smiles sweetly at the tiefling, "No, I decide I nots that hungry. Here, you haves it."

As Valen grabs the proffered bowl, Deekin smirks to himself, "Deekin not stupid like goat-man."

The kobold gets up and steps outside the cave.

Nathrrya looks at him curiously and Deekin frowns at her. "That not nice, creepy drow lady."

The drow looks at the kobold in apparent confusion. "Whatever do you mean?"

Deekin chuckles. "Nots to worry, long as you nots do it again to Deekin. I gives mine to nasty goat-man."

Nathrrya raises her eyebrows, impressed. "I would not have thought you so smart, lizard."

"That be your mistake," he replies.

&&&&&&

Inside the cave, Valen finishes wolfing down the remnants of the food and starts methodically packing his gear. He suddenly let out a shriek and jumps a meter backward from his pack.

Nessa immediately springs to attention and grabs her rapier, concerned an assassin has somehow managed to materialize in the middle of their camp.

Seeing nothing, she looks at Valen in confusion.

The massive weapon master is huddled in a ball next to the fire, pointing at his pack in horror. "BUNNICULA! M-m-m-my pack! Bunnicula is in my bag!"

The tiefling covers his face with his hands and sobs like a heartbroken girl, "Oh Gods! Don't let the vampire rabbit get me!"

Nathrrya and Deekin hear the commotion and race inside to see what is going on. They enter the cave and stop, their mouths falling open. Then the two of them start laughing uproariously at what they see.

Nessa, seeing there is no immediate danger, looks over at Valen's pack, and sees nothing. She uses her rapier to move the bag around, thinking maybe this "Bunnicula" is under the bag, but she finds nothing.

The bard stares at the tiefling. "Valen, what the hells…?"

She picks up his pack and looks into it and Valen squeals in protest. "No! Don't open it! Bunnicula will get out and kill us all!"

With that, the tiefling jumps up from his fetal position on the ground and races out of the cave. Nessa gets a good look at him as he shoves his way past her.

He's even paler than usual, his pupils are dilated, and he's covered in a sheen of sweat. He stops briefly to lean against a boulder while he vomits.

Nessa runs after him, quickly preparing a healing spell to try to help him while Deekin and Nathrrya exchange knowing looks. As Nessa approaches him, he looks up at her, screams again, and takes off at full speed.

Nessa stands there, perplexed, with her spell only half cast as she watches the retreating tiefling's back in amazement.

She turns to Nathrrya, "Did you catch what he was babbling about?"

Nathrrya, barely managing to keep a straight face says, "I think he said something like, "Dire Hamster…every man for himself," but I'm not entirely sure."

Deekin, hiding a toothy grin, turns and begins ostensibly checking the cave for any items that might have been left behind while his sides shake with quiet but nearly uncontrolled giggling.

From the opening of the cave, Nathrrya looks down at the kobold, "For someone his size, that tiefer is fast."

Deekin nods in agreement as he turns to begin packing his things so that they can break camp, knowing that Nessa will insist on pursuing the obnoxious "goat man." Deekin reflects on this and decides that it's a character flaw in Nessa that isn't entirely without its good points since she's never left him behind either.

Nessa flings her things and some of Valen's gear into her pack as quickly as she is able. She stands outside the cave, stomping her foot impatiently as Deekin takes his time about stowing some of Valen's heavier items in his magic bags.

Nathrrya lollygags about packing as well; giving Valen all the chances he needs to run headlong into danger. The Seer will be sad, but it won't be her fault and then all she'll have to do is get rid of that pesky little kobold.

Nathrrya sizes him up and decides that she can probably arrange some sort of an accident during a fight. She shrugs on her pack and goes to stand beside Nessa, who is busy frowning at the kobold.

Finally Nessa growls at him, "Deekin…move it, will you? We have to go after him. I don't know what's going on, but we can't just leave him like this."

Deekin, finally shouldering his pack, mutters under his breath, "Yes, we cans."

Nessa sets off with her two tardy, sluggish companions. She sighs to herself, "They must be really tired, if this is the best pace they can manage. I hate to push them, but we have to catch up to him."

They set off following Valen's trail by watching for scuffs in the thick layer of dust that coats the most unused corners of the Underdark. Nessa's ears prick as she catches snatches of the sound of Valen sobbing.

Homing in on the sound, they approach wherever it is that the tiefling has holed up in his misery. Nathrrya starts mentally counting the coin it's going to cost the tiefling to keep her from telling everyone that he fled in terror from a Bunnicula and a dire hamster.