Notes: This is my first fic in the DGM fandom. I plan on it being a short, long fic (10-15 chapters?). I was planning to finish this fic entirely before posting. However, when I was forced to rewrite portions of it after chapter 169 (of the manga came out), a friend convinced me otherwise...

Chapter 1: Life after the Black Order

'Innocence Activate.'

Lenalee wondered if she would ever need to utter those words again. Ironically, there had been a point in her life when she had wished that she had never learned of Akuma and of Innocence, as both had served no purpose but to tear her life apart. But it was over, now; the battle was over. The Noahs had fallen with the Millennium Earl following in suit. For most of the Exorcists, the wounds were still healing. Kanda, however, had fully recovered and had already left the Black Order headquarters muttering something about heading home.

Home. It was a word that Lenalee was not exactly familiar with, at least not in the traditional sense. The Black Order had become her home but probably would not feel like home for much longer. With the Millennium Earl defeated, the Exorcists were no longer bound to headquarters. The Support Services had to stay in order to keep the Black Order running and to act as a preventative measure in order to monitor Akuma activity and locate more Innocence, because there was a school of thought that the Millennium Earl could not be destroyed forever and that he would find a new host and rise again. Although the Exorcists would still remain "on call," connected to headquarters through a golem, it was no longer necessary for them to reside at headquarters.

Lenalee was faced with the possibility of freedom, a luxury that had not been afforded to her since she had been forcibly brought to the Black Order headquarters. She contemplated the idea with playful curiosity, like a cat batting around a ball of yarn. However, she knew she could not leave, at least not now, while her brother was still there and not while most of the other Exorcists still bed-ridden with injuries. Her place was at the headquarters visiting her friends as they recovered and providing a smiling face along with a sympathetic ear.

Pausing outside the door to Allen's room in the medical ward, Lenalee's eyes glassed over as she recalled the final battle. All of them had been hurt, but Allen, in her opinion, had taken the brunt of the damage. Even though Miranda's Time Recovery had been activated at that time, it had not stopped the wounds from appearing or stopped him from feeling the initial attacks. She remembered the sound of his anguished screams, when the Millennium Earl had struck him again and again while he was down, as if it was still happening. The event was recent enough that she could still see every chilling detail etched clearly in her head: Allen's body lying in a pool of his own blood, the red smeared garishly in his hair and across his pale skin. At that moment, she swore that she could smell the copper of his blood so thick that she could taste it in her mouth. The vivid memory caused her stomach to twist unpleasantly and her knees to weaken slightly, and she stumbled lightly into the door. Hands gripping at the smooth surface, she tried to use the object to steady her balance.

"Lenalee?" the voice on the other side called, as upbeat as she had ever heard it.

"Yes," she replied, blinking as she was drawn back into the present. "It's me." She smiled, knowing that he had come to expect - and maybe even look forward to - her daily visits. Pushing the door opened, she stepped in and then quietly shut it behind her.

Upon her entrance, Timcanpy fluttered up from his place by Allen's side. However, the golem soon settled down when it recognized who was at the root of the disturbance. Allen was sitting straight up and seemed very eager. "Did you bring me a snack today?"

She shook her head, holding her empty hands out in an apologetic gesture. "Sorry, I came straight from my brother's lab. You won't believe what he's trying to invent now." She felt a giggle escape her mouth as Allen visibly blanched.

"I really don't want to know, do I?" he asked, his voice sounding a bit weary.

"Hmm, probably not," she said, reaffirming what she knew he was already suspecting. Taking a seat by his bed, she turned to face him so that she could better study how his recovery was progressing.

Allen was now able to move without the risk of reopening any of his wounds. It was an improvement, but much of his body was still bandaged. He turned to look at her, and when he smiled, she saw a youthful innocence in his eyes that hadn't been displayed in quite a while. It rendered her speechless for a moment, as she just studied his face. Bandages covered his forehead with messy tufts of white hair sticking out the wrappings; a big band aid was still on his left cheek, but he looked at her as if nothing was wrong. There was something about the way he was gazing at her with that grin that tugged at her heart, but before she could focus on it, he was speaking.

"Are you still worrying about me?" Allen asked, tilting his head. Lenalee couldn't quite find her tongue, and so he continued to speak. "I told you that I was fine. As long as I'm alive and can eat, there's nothing to be worried about." He made a gesture to show that the lower portion of his face was bandage free. "I can even feed myself again!"

Lenalee could do nothing but stare at the young man in front of her, wondering how he could be so carefree when he was still so badly hurt. Swallowing the thickness that she hadn't realized had already gathered in her throat, she blinked and felt a single tear fall.

"Ehh!' Allen exclaimed. "I didn't mean to make you cry, Lenalee." He waved his hands frantically, as if to try to calm her.

With a shaky sigh, she shook her head and asked in a wavering voice, "How can you be so ... happy? Do you know how close you were to death? Do you realize how close we were to losing you?"

She watched as his cheerful expression sobered, the smile dropping off of his face. "I'm aware," he told her softly. "That's why I am happy ... happy to be alive so that I can move forward from this point."

Lenalee just didn't understand Allen sometimes. There were moments when he seemed so young, but then he would turn around and display ageless wisdom. She dried her eyes with an embarrassed smile. "Of course. Why don't we talk about something else," she suggested.

She could see the relief rush into Allen's eyes. "Okay," he agreed. "Tell me how everyone else is doing."

Biting her lip, she recounted what she could remember. "Kanda has already left headquarters."

"Geh," Allen replied, clearly unenthusiastic.

"Lavi will probably be able to walk again pretty soon. Krory is still confined to the bed, but he's doing better..."

"We got pretty beaten up, didn't we." Although it was a question, Allen said it as a statement.

"But we're all still here. We made it through. That's what's important." She gave him the brightest smile she could muster and laid her hands on top of his.

"The battle was tough on you."

Lenalee blinked, confused at the direction their conversation was taking. Today it was tending to be a lot more introspective than it usually was.

Normally, she would talk about happy days at the Black Order prior to his arrival. Or she would listen to him talk about traveling during his childhood. He would recount many hard to believe (but truthful) tales about the abuses that he had suffered as Cross's student. Once in a while, he would talk about Mana; it was a topic that she was fairly certain he chose not to discuss with many people. With Mana's connection to the Noahs and his own doubt as to Mana's true feelings about him, she knew that Allen felt conflicted about his foster parent. She could tell that part of him felt guilty when he recalled fond memories of someone so close to the Noahs. However, she knew another part of him recounted the good memories in order convince himself of a love and bond that he desperately needed to believe in. She felt lucky that he trusted her enough not to judge him and tried her best to affirm that Mana had loved him for reasons other than being a vessel for the Fourteenth. They never discussed the war; there were too many painful memories. But today, he was being different, and she couldn't figure out why.

"The battle was tough on everybody," she said carefully.

"But on you especially." He disengaged one of his hands from hers. "In here." He put a flattened palm against his chest.

"I don't like to see my friends hurt; I don't like seeing and hearing them tortured." She shook her head, sending her hair flying around her face, and then buried her face in her hands. Why was he being so difficult today? She just didn't understand.

Finally, Allen relented. "I'm sorry, Lenalee." He truly sounded contrite.

Lowering her hands, she dared to look into his eyes and found a gentleman's smile plastered on his face. 'It's fake,' she couldn't help herself from thinking. He had wanted to tell her something associated with the battle, but she just couldn't let him, not when she could still see the reminders of its aftermath still clearly evident on his body. It was too soon. "I'm sorry," she said softly, looking down. "It's too soon to talk about it; the memories are still too raw."

"Lenalee, it's just that ..." Allen's eyebrows furrowed, as if he was trying to think of the correct way to say whatever it was he wanted to say.

"What is it, Allen?" she asked, suddenly alarmed. "Is anything wrong?"

"No, no, nothing is wrong. It's just that --"

But Lenalee never got to hear Allen finish his thought, because at that moment, a knock, sharp and proper, interrupted them. Before Allen even had the chance to answer, the door was being pushed open. "General Walker, I need a word with you."

She didn't even have to turn her head to recognize Inspector Link's voice. "Inspector Link," she whispered softly, less than pleased. She looked over and nodded in acknowledgement. "I didn't realize you were still residing at headquarters now that the war is over."

"But of course, Lenalee," the inspector answered, a knowing grin on his face. "Both Inspector Leverrier and I are still here. Actually, he sent me here on official business. You can check with him if you don't believe me."

Lenalee felt herself weaken and knew she would always instinctively fear Leverrier. She felt her palms grow clammy as she cursed her irrational fear.

Allen looked between Link and Lenalee and interjected. "Can't this wait? I'm going to be confined here for quite some time, and I was already busy."

Inspector Link focused his gaze on Lenalee and said clearly, "Inspector Leverrier was quite insistent that I spoke with you now. If you have an issue with it, I can always call him down here to settle things."

With that statement, Lenalee felt a fine tremor spread through her body. Over ten years later, and the mention of Leverrier could still elicit terror from her. She hated herself for being so weak, but she couldn't allow herself a run in. Not with that man. Voice trembling and eyes downcast, she said, "It's alright. I'll come back later."

As Lenalee walked to the door, she could hear Link's steps close in on Allen. The noise stopped and was replaced by the creaking of the chair as the Inspector settled into it. When she finally reached the door, fingertips brushing the cool metal, she couldn't help but look back at Allen to give him some sort of reassurance that she would be back. When her gaze caught his, she took a sharp breath. He had an odd, almost desperate look on his face. She wasn't quite sure how to return that look, and so she averted her eyes, ducked her head, and left the room wondering what Allen was going to say to her and whether she'd get another chance to hear it.

TBC

Final Notes: Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think. Since this fic is different from what I usually write, I'd really appreciate any feedback.