Dear Journal,

Oh, no wait. Not supposed to write that. Um...

Yo! Wassup biz-oy? This is Wocky Kitaki reporting to you live from my little notebook that Dr.Julian gave me.

Yeah. Wocky Kitaki, straight up O.G. The Mom-ster thought I was getting um, what was the word she used?

Boil-steroids?

Burl-sturrups?

Whatever. Point is she sent me to some wack G named Dr.Julian for therapy. Alita was down with it, so I figure I'd give it a shot.

That G is UG-LEE with zero alibi, you feel me? I could throw a dart at his mole and it'd probably cover the office in goo.

Sicknastyawesome.

He told me that I had to learn to "channel my violent bee-have-your" into positive energy, and he said I was supposed to "air-ate my life".

My life's pretty fly, why do I gotta air it out?

So instead of writing in in a pansy-ass "Dear Journal" kind of book, I'm just supposed to write aboutwhat goes on in the O.G life as if I'm "talking to some one".

Yuck. I can still hear his British accent talking, makes me wanna chuck up some sickness.

But...not much happened today after I left the office. Alita had some errands to run and Mom was just, y'know, doing her thing I guess. Mom didn't give me any chores to do. Any day when she doesn't have to break out that creepy-ass broom-sword of her's is a good day.

So...

I saw this dude the other day with a noodle stand. They make noodle stands now? That's messed up. Anyway, I was steaming hungry when I saw the dude so I flagged the guy down and did my thang.

"Yo Pops, can you cut me a bowl of noodles dude? I'm mad hungry!"

But the geezer flipped out on me man! Started mumbling curses and playing this really crappy harmonica tune. Then he poured up some soup in a bowl that looked like some peppermint candy.

"Insolent disgrace is what yew are!" he yelled. I was so like, so, not gonna take that, so I was all, "Hayle no Geezer! You ain't gonna talk to Wocky Kitaki like that and get away clean! I'm a straight gangsta boy! I'll cut you up!" I got out my trust pocket knife made of bubble gum. He raised an eyebrow (I think he did, the freak was wearing a freakin' bowl of noodles on his head) and then he was all,

"You think you can take my broth boy?"

And being me, a survivor of a shot to the heart, I was all "Bring it Pops!"

Next thing I know, he shoves a ladle down real far my throat and I run over to the fountain down at my old man's park and start gulping down the water. When I finally washed all the salt out of my mouth, I could hear that lame harmonica playing and he rolled down the street.

I got grounded for coming home halft-soaked.

I know now not to mess with anyone pulling a noodle stand.

Alita wasn't even allowed to come over.

Then I got mad. So my old man whupped my ass.

He's been acting strange lately. He's been locking himself in his office and even in a section of the kitchen. I tried to peek inside once and it was the weirdest shit.

I smelled cookies. Really good ones too.

Then I got really, really bored, and Mom wouldn't give me chores to do because she knew I'd be bored.

So I officially decided to give myself a theme song.

I was thinking about current songs like that song about elevators by um...Timberland? Timberlake? Lumberjack? I'd know it if I heard it. But I couldn't use my laptop to look for it, so I tried my hand at beatboxing.

I thought it was going good until I heard one of the goons laughing from behind my door. It turned out to be Mario, so I chased the sucka down.

Then I figured I'd try some lyrics. Writing isn't my strong point, but a gangster like me is worth it. So far I came up with:

"Yo yo yo Kitak-i 'da O.G

Ain't no body gonna mess with me

Cuz I got rims dat spin and goons to do my work

But cuz Im a gangsta you might think that I'm a jerk

But don't call me square, dumb, or orange

Cuz I'll knock you up G, just like a"

But it was really hard to think of a word that rhymes with orange. I mean seriously, have you ever tried it?! But I figured my Ma's pretty smart so I went over to where she was sweeping and showed her my rap.

"What rhymes with orange Ma?"

Then she made me go to the dishes. I smelled cookies.

I believe what she did was not good for my personal "Self-Steam" so I might talk to the Doc about that.

I read my rap to Alita, she liked it. My Alita-Baby is such a genius.

Door hinge. Why didn't I think of that before?

"Cuz I'll knock you up G, just like a door hinge!

Bizz-oy!"

Then I showed it to Mom and told her what a good poet Alita was.

She gave me the paper back and said something about Dr.Julian and pills. I'm not worried though, I got a rap! And finally Mom let me back on the computer and I found this song that sounded like a nursery rhyme but it was about chains and ice!

So that's my theme song, but not my rap, you feel me? There's a difference.

...

Mom hit me with her broom when I played my theme song for her. She just can't get with the times.

A gangsta has to be a gangsta during times like these, ya dig?

I'm gonna get those songs to play at me and my baby's wedding next month. Can't wait.

So...peace I guess? Its not supposed to be a journal or whatever. Oh well, a gangsta has to get his gangsta sleep.

Peace.

Again.

-W.K

Wocktionary (in order):

-Boisterous (loud; rowdy)

-Behavior

-"Elevator" Flo Rida ft. Timbaland

-Self-Esteem

-"Chain Hang Low" Jibbs

R&R

-AGHD