"Noticing"
Since the absolute disaster that was the "Warblers' Gap Attack," Blaine was almost positive that nothing about Kurt had actually changed. As far as Blaine could tell, he had always made the Dalton uniform actually look good. He had always had an incredible fashion sense outside of Dalton. He had always had perfect skin and hair. He had always been witty, sarcastic, funny, and warm, and he had always given Blaine a flutter in his chest. Blaine had seen these things before, he was sure.
So, why was he only noticing it now?
Why was he noticing these things now, when he had been so sure of being in love with Jeremiah a week before? It made no sense, but Blaine felt himself noticing all of it.
As they sat on Kurt's bed in his dorm room, Blaine admired how Kurt eyes shimmered in the late afternoon sunlight that was streaming through the window. The light caused his eyelashes to cast shadows on his high cheekbones. Kurt furrowed his brow and nibbled slightly on his full, pink bottom lip, as he scribbled and scratched out things on his calculus assignment.
The flutters were back. They were the sort of thing that would make him worry that he was going into cardiac arrest, were he not in Kurt's presence, but he was almost positive those feelings had been there since he took Kurt's hand on the stairs. He had ignored them, as he kept thinking about Kurt's adjustment to Dalton and his own infatuation with Jeremiah, but now he couldn't help but love what this was doing to him. The warmth spreading through his chest, it made him feel like he was filling with helium.
"God, I hate calculus!" Kurt furiously and violently scratched out his latest answer. "Blaine, can you-" He stopped, as he realized Blaine was staring at him. "Is something wron-"
Blaine cupped Kurt's cheek and leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss against Kurt's lips. For several moments Blaine was on top of the world, reveling in the smooth, plush mouth against his.
Then, he felt a sharp shove against his shoulders. He fell backwards, a look of surprise gracing his face. The shock quickly turned into something sharp and gnawing in his stomach, guilt, as he realized Kurt was staring at him, fear and anger written across his face. Blaine swallowed hard. Kurt's eyes were filling with tears, and after a moment he turned away from Blaine, wrapping his arms around himself and sobbing.
After the several long moments, Blaine rasped out, "Kurt…" but then his words faded all over again.
However, Blaine's word, seemed to loosen Kurt's mouth, "How could you? How could you?" The words were painfully soft and broken, as his breath hitched several times.
"I-"
"You know what my first kiss was like. You knew that. Why would you ever…How? Blaine, I never thought you would…" Blaine wanted Kurt to look at him. He tried to gently guide his face back to him, but Kurt flinched away from him, shuddered, and pulled into a smaller ball, pulling his knees close to him.
"Kurt, I'm sorry. I didn't think-I thought…I thought you liked me…" Blaine felt himself blinking back his own tears, as he realized how wrong he must have been. "I thought I would be different. I-"
"Just because I like you, doesn't mean I will ever be your rebound, Blaine."
"Wait, rebound?" Blaine was lost.
"Yes, Blaine, rebound!" Kurt finally turned back to him, tears streaked down his cheeks, flushed bright pink against his white, porcelain face. "That's what it's called when you claim to be in love with some guy you barely know, so in love that you sing to him at his work, and then when he turns you down, you kiss the next available guy, who you know loves you." He gestured wildly, and concluded, wiping more tears from his face.
"No, Kurt. No. It's not like that. I didn't-I don't-"
Kurt shook his head and tried to get up, but Blaine pulled him back onto the bed.
"Let me go."
"No." Blaine kept a firm hold on Kurt's wrist. "Kurt, listen. I love you."
"You don't."
"Yes, I do. I've always-Since, I met you. I've always felt these things. I didn't know what it was, but you made me happier than I could imagine. I felt this tingling in my chest. It's always been there. I just-I didn't understand what it was, and since the…thing at GAP, I've just noticed all these things about you. Things I've always seen, like your smile and how beautiful your eyes are."
Kurt was staring at him. He looked hesitant. Tears were still slowly rolling down his face, but he didn't look quite as angry. Blaine decided to press his luck and wiped a tear from Kurt's cheek. He felt the boy stiffen slightly, but he didn't pull away. He dropped his hand and laced it with Kurt's.
"I wouldn't use you like that. Ever. I'm sorry. I have always loved you. I knew I loved you. I just don't think I realized I was in love with you until our talk in the coffee shop. I'm so, so sorry."
"Why the hell didn't you tell me when we talked, then?"
Blaine gave a humorless chuckle. "I told you; I'm not very good at romance."
"Well, that's the understatement of the year."
"Would it be better if I told you that was my first real kiss?"
Kurt looked up at him. Eyebrows slightly raised. "What?"
"Kissing Rachel for spin the bottle doesn't count, and I hadn't ever kissed anyone else."
"Never?"
"No. Why do you keep asking?" Blaine was desperate for Kurt to believe him. He needed Kurt to see he was telling the truth.
"I just, I just can't believe no one ever kissed you before. Someone like you? I knew you haven't had a boyfriend, but you've dated. You've never kissed anyone before?" There was slight incredulity in his voice.
"No. I guess, I thought I'd want to kiss Jeremiah eventually, but none of the dates I've ever had ever ended with a kiss. I never felt the urge to kiss anyone, not anyone I felt like I should kiss. I mean, I've had crushes, but the timing and the person never worked out until you, and I guess even that was wrong…" He slowed as he realized Kurt's thumb stroking against the back of his hand. Typical, Kurt would be comforting him, when Kurt was the injured person. What was wrong with him? "I do love you, Kurt."
"What do you love about me?"
"Huh?"
"Tell me what you love about me." Blaine cocked an eyebrow, and he continued with a chuckle, "If you have something to say, I guess it proves that you actually do love me, right? Or maybe, I'm just fishing for compliments." He was smiling now. It was small, but it still filled Blaine with that warm, lightness.
"Your eyes. They're amazing. I can't quite explain what color they are…sometimes they're blue, but then they're grey and green, too-"
"It's called glasz." Kurt interrupted. "I looked it up." He smiled sheepishly, and Blaine grinned in return.
"Your mouth. Your lips are pink, and very soft, as I just discovered. And when you smile, you just shine. I love it."
"That is the point of this prompt." Kurt was smirking, as Blaine laughed out loud. He reached out and softly stroked Kurt's cheek.
"Your laugh is like music, you know. And when you get really passionate about something, it makes me want to join you, and that happens a lot. I love your passion."
Suddenly, Kurt reached out and ran his fingertips lightly across Blaine's forehead, brushing along his hairline, and immediately, he stopped speaking.
"So that was your first kiss." Kurt spoke quietly.
Blaine nodded.
"How was it?" He looked like he was in awe as he let his eyes roam across Blaine's face, flickering from his eyes to his lips to his cheekbones and all over.
"The few seconds of the kiss was nice, but then you pushed me away, and I realized you were crying, so that felt awful."
Kurt smiled again. "Then, let's try it again."
Blaine was hardly able to register what had just been said, as Kurt slid closer to him and lightly placed two fingers under Blaine's chin.
Kurt leaned forward and gently pressed their lips together for a second time. Blaine let his eyes flutter closed, and few moments later, Kurt began moving his lips against Blaine's He gently slipped his tongue into Blaine's mouth. He sighed, as he felt Kurt's tongue deep in his mouth. It made him shudder. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt, one arm clutching his shoulder, the other wrapped tightly around his waist, and Kurt moved his hand from Blaine's chin to the back of his head, tangling in Blaine's curls, which he had fortunately left ungelled. He made a mental note to leave the gel out more often, if Kurt would do that. The kissing slowed, but Blaine took it as an opportunity to take control of the kiss, pushing his own tongue into Kurt's mouth. He ran it across Kurt's teeth and the roof of his mouth. He stroked Kurt's tongue with his own, and Kurt sighed into Blaine's mouth, pushing his body, if possible, even closer to Blaine's.
They finally pulled away, gasping slightly for air.
Kurt grinned and looked up his arms still around Blaine, "Thank you, Brittany ."
"Britney Spears?" Blaine furrowed his brows in confusion.
Kurt chuckled, "I'll explain another day. Was that better?"
"Much." He pulled Kurt back to him, softly rubbing their noses together and leaning his forehead against Kurt's.
"Good."