Hermione, Your Breath STINKS!
by CuteDiva
A/N: My first METMA challenge ficcy ever! Extremely random and insane, but I hope you like it! *tries to break out of straitjacket*.
"Lo, ani lo ohevet ha covah sheloh!" Ron screamed at Hermione, who was parading around with a giant straw hat with a stuffed monkey on it. She glared at him.
"Go suck on a haystack, then!" she yelled at him, then stormed off in no particular direction.
"Ew! My breath stinks!" Hermione said, taking a whiff of her horrible halitosis. "I need a freaking piece of gum here!"
So Hermione went to the Gryffindor common room to find someone to give her some gum.
"Potter boy!" Hermione yelled. "You've got any gum?"
He shook his head. Hermione poked his right eye out with her pinky.
"Kiss my butt, then!"
So she tried the Slytherin common room. Crabbe and Goyle were comparing eachother's armpit warts, and Pansy was shaving a striped cat. Malfoy was by the mirror, adding extra gel to his hair.
"Malfoy, have you got any gum?" Hermione asked.
"No, Mudblood," he said, smirking, then looked in the mirror and started crying.
"What's wrong?" Hermione asked.
"My ears are cold!"
"Cold? It's 100 degrees out!"
"[Bleep!], Hermione, your breath STINKS!" Malfoy said, then fainted on the ground.
"Argh!" Hermione shouted, then ran off to the Weasley twins' room.
"Fred, George, have you got any gum?" she asked them.
"Yeah," George said, taking out a large box from under the mattress that was labeled "Property of Molly Weasley," then pulled out a huge piece of gum with a picture of a dead fish on it.
"Gee, thanks, guys!" Hermione said.
"My butt itches," Fred said.
Hermione ran off, chewing her gum loudly. It really was quite obnoxious. She chewed, blew a bubble, cracked her gum, then started over again. Chew, blow, crack. Chew, blow, crack. And louder, and faster, and it was so freaking annoying!
"Would you stop that, Hermione!" Ron screamed. "You are so obnoxious!"
"You're just jealous cause I have gum and you don't!" Hermione yelled. "Yeah, don't you think I'm so sexy, yeah, I'm just so fresh, so clean!"
"Oh, Hermione, you're right!" Ron said, then proceeded to suck face with Hermione.
"Agh, agh!" he grunted. "I'm ch-choking!"
"Oh, no, my gum!" Hermione screamed.
THE END
A/N: Don't be too hard on me, okay. I've never done this before, I know not what I do. Dead Fish Gum is trademark of wEiRdO inc. and any deaths caused by it are strictly coincidential. *cough.*
by CuteDiva
A/N: My first METMA challenge ficcy ever! Extremely random and insane, but I hope you like it! *tries to break out of straitjacket*.
"Lo, ani lo ohevet ha covah sheloh!" Ron screamed at Hermione, who was parading around with a giant straw hat with a stuffed monkey on it. She glared at him.
"Go suck on a haystack, then!" she yelled at him, then stormed off in no particular direction.
"Ew! My breath stinks!" Hermione said, taking a whiff of her horrible halitosis. "I need a freaking piece of gum here!"
So Hermione went to the Gryffindor common room to find someone to give her some gum.
"Potter boy!" Hermione yelled. "You've got any gum?"
He shook his head. Hermione poked his right eye out with her pinky.
"Kiss my butt, then!"
So she tried the Slytherin common room. Crabbe and Goyle were comparing eachother's armpit warts, and Pansy was shaving a striped cat. Malfoy was by the mirror, adding extra gel to his hair.
"Malfoy, have you got any gum?" Hermione asked.
"No, Mudblood," he said, smirking, then looked in the mirror and started crying.
"What's wrong?" Hermione asked.
"My ears are cold!"
"Cold? It's 100 degrees out!"
"[Bleep!], Hermione, your breath STINKS!" Malfoy said, then fainted on the ground.
"Argh!" Hermione shouted, then ran off to the Weasley twins' room.
"Fred, George, have you got any gum?" she asked them.
"Yeah," George said, taking out a large box from under the mattress that was labeled "Property of Molly Weasley," then pulled out a huge piece of gum with a picture of a dead fish on it.
"Gee, thanks, guys!" Hermione said.
"My butt itches," Fred said.
Hermione ran off, chewing her gum loudly. It really was quite obnoxious. She chewed, blew a bubble, cracked her gum, then started over again. Chew, blow, crack. Chew, blow, crack. And louder, and faster, and it was so freaking annoying!
"Would you stop that, Hermione!" Ron screamed. "You are so obnoxious!"
"You're just jealous cause I have gum and you don't!" Hermione yelled. "Yeah, don't you think I'm so sexy, yeah, I'm just so fresh, so clean!"
"Oh, Hermione, you're right!" Ron said, then proceeded to suck face with Hermione.
"Agh, agh!" he grunted. "I'm ch-choking!"
"Oh, no, my gum!" Hermione screamed.
THE END
A/N: Don't be too hard on me, okay. I've never done this before, I know not what I do. Dead Fish Gum is trademark of wEiRdO inc. and any deaths caused by it are strictly coincidential. *cough.*