It was one of those times, were it feels as if the ground you stand on had been roughly taken from right under you. Where your body trembles unable to hold in your agony and you feel as if collapsing is the only way to bear it. What did I do to deserve this? Why of all the people in the world did this have to happen to me? Why couldn't I have been good enough? All these questions rang through the girl's mind.

She stood there, mere feet away from him. Standing in the living room her dark violet orbs widen in shock and pain. Her body trembled as she fought the urge to cry. Her dark raven hair still wet from getting out of the shower rested in slight waves falling on her collarbone. Across from her stood a man at least a foot and a half taller than her, dark black hair with dark green eyes that held regret, not regret for hurting her, but regret for telling her in person. He couldn't stand that look on her face.

Her lips trembled as she tried to search for the right words to say. For the right questions to asked. None of which would have changed anything, the answers would not take this feeling away nor will it make the pain easier, if anything the answers would only break her heart even more if that were possible.

They were answers that she was never going to get.

Kaien Shiba, the man she met at the tender age of 15 and loved. She never believed in such things until she saw his face, he was her everything. Her feelings for him were probably the main reason that they were together for 9 years straight one of those years they were engaged.

Her fiancée stood before her explaining how he was in love with another, how for the past 3 years he had been seeing someone else that made him feel alive for the first time.

"How do you know that this is love? That it's her that you're supposed to be with?" Rukia pleaded as she cast her eyes to the side, her eyebrows knot it pain. She stood in front of him yet she couldn't yet bring herself to look into those eyes. His eyes held no regret or guilt toward what he was doing to her. She couldn't face those heartless eyes, scratch that he wasn't heartless; he just had no room in his heart for someone like her.

"I feel things with her that I just never felt when I was with you. I know this is love" he coldly remarked with a hint of a smile gracing his lips at the thought of the woman.

"What we had only looked like love, but really we were just using each other." He added as he let the smile disappear from his face looking down at his toes, he may not love her but he felt awkward at the situation he was in.

She didn't want to say anything; she fell in a pit of despair. Her body had no energy left in it to fight about this any longer. Rukia, although may have a rough exterior, was a kind gentle person who did not wish any pain or suffering on the man that has caused her so much of it. Nothing she could say would hurt him because the simple fact remained, he didn't care anymore. She could yell at him, she could slap him, she could say how much he hurt her and how her life and heart had shattered before his eyes and none of it would matter to him.

Rukia Kuchiki, the woman of courage and strength was completely helpless against such heartbreak.

"We can't make this work? I can move on from this as long as I know I will have you in the end. Please?" it was at this moment that she turned to look into his emotionless face with her eyes full of hope. She could not let the man she loved go that easily without even trying. She looked pathetic.

"I can't be with someone I don't love." They stood in silence neither had anything left to say anymore. If they were meant for each other, if they were to be together one of them would fight for it. Kaien didn't want to fight for it; he didn't want to be with her anymore and can't believe he let it drag on for as long as he did. Rukia, she couldn't fight, she had nothing left to offer him. She offered the world.

She gave him her heart, her life. She gave him a world where he would be loved for the rest of his life and never have to live a day cold, alone, sad or hurt because she would protect him from everything. She had nothing else. She tried her best for the man she loved so dearly.

The sweet smell of heartache filled the room.

It was only then that she realized, love only existed to hurt people. That day, that she spilled her heart, and gave her all for something she desired and got this in return. Was the day she gave up on the idea of love, and believed that such a feeling did not exist; heartbreak and desolation were the closest things to love.

…

Rukia walked through the halls of the expensive condo looking for room 253.

She had her black leather purse thrown over her shoulder as she looked down at the paper in front of her. She was wearing tight black skinny jeans with leather red ballet flats that had a bow on the front along with a plain white skin tight V neck shirt that fell right above her pant line, her studded belt visible. On top of that she had a tight black leather jacket that went down to her ribcage and ended, left open so the shirt was seen along with a long necklace that went down to her sternum, it was in the shape of a sparrow. Her dark raven hair, normally flipped out at the ends was straightened so the jagged edges rest straight over her collarbone.

Rukia took off her big sunglasses as she saw the room she was headed for. A smile spread across her lips, the first real smile she had placed on her face in weeks. As she started heading towards the condo she remembered the reason she was here in the first place.

She was here for Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. He was not her lover, he was not her fall back, but he was the greatest friend she could have ever asked for. A friend that she had only seen a few times these past 5 years because of her darling fiancée who had them move across the ocean away from Grimmjow.

In high school Grimmjow was the only person that she ever got along with well. Both were stubborn, rough, strong, hot headed, brutal, but they both were also kind, loyal, smart, generous, laid back, and friendly but that was only to each other. They were inseparable as they grew up. It was because of him that she was able to start writing for her favorite art and music magazine, Rage. He always believed in her even when she didn't at all and vise versa. Regardless of the distance their friendship never died.

When she called him crying about all that happened he suggested that she came back home. Being with him, her friends, and her family would do her a lot of good. She agreed, it didn't take much convincing due to the fact she wanted nothing more than to get away from Kaien and away from that foreign town where she was isolated from everyone that she held dear to her.

She was nervous about how he was going to react to her in this state.

She had grown a lot in the 5 years she had been away from home. She wasn't 17 anymore she was now 24 and the years treat her very well. She was no longer the puny midget from high school. She had a slender, elegant frame. Her hair grew longer and fell in soft waves to her collar bone. She was now a woman.

She inhaled deeply as she brought her hand up to knock on the door. She waited as the seconds went on like hours, she couldn't believe she was going to see Grimmjow again. Finally the door opened and Rukia practically choked on the air she was breathing, the years didn't do him any bad either.

He was breathtaking. The Grimmjow in high school was tall and mildly muscular, like any average teenage boy. He was a football player and took his game seriously it was his good athleticism that paid for his college education. But the man before her was totally different.

He was tall, towering over her small frame. He was wearing a really thin light brown sweater that could pass off as a shirt, that had a hood and long sleeves that had been rolled up to his elbows exposing his strong forearms, plain dark denim jeans without shoes. But he was gorgeous. His face, he had such strong masculine bone structure it was humanly impossible for someone to look this... this… beautiful. His blue hair messy, but in a way where it almost seems like it's supposed to be that way. He smirked at her reaction.

"Done eye humping me yet?" he grinned as he saw her face change to a deep scowl her sharp eyes narrowed at him. Everything might have changed about him, but he still had that smart mouth.

"Please, nothing special to look at just a lump of testosterone and steroids" she put her free hand in her pocket as she smirked up at him, then again she never lost her sharp tongue either.

They both gazed at each other with smirks. Before they knew it Rukia roughly dropped her bag on the floor and jumped into his open arms. She wrapped her arms around his waist and dug her head into his collarbone her face resting on his sternum. His big muscular arms wrapped around her back as they both just smiled in each other's grasp.

"Welcome home" he mumbled in her hair as he pulled back to take another look at her again. She was beautiful, she had grown up into a real woman. The years apart killed him but he learned to get over it.

"Thanks, trust me it's good to be back" she walked past him into the condo and smiled at it. The walls were pure white with white and black furniture. Various paintings on the wall and no pictures of him anywhere, it had a very nice atmosphere to it and she didn't expect that from him. There was a kitchen to the right when she walked in the door and to the left was a glass table that had two chairs on opposite sides of each other. As she walked in there was a door that lead to the balcony on the left side and in front of her was a big living room, white couches a large flat screen T.V. and various game systems and games on a black shelf. He was still a nerd at heart.

The kitchen was cozy sized with black appliances and grey stone high counters that had bar stools on the opposite side. Beyond the kitchen was a small hall with four doors, one to the master bedroom that had its own bathroom, the other a spare room, a closet, and a guest bathroom. It wasn't as big as she thought it would be considering Grimmjow made a lot of money, but he really only used it to sleep in. he was rarely home. She turned around to look at him as he leaned on the counter staring at her.

He couldn't help but gaze at her. She was so flawless and beautiful he had no idea why someone could leave her and not feel like an asshole over it. Her face, her light skin, those sharp eyes that held a deep violet color that couldn't be compared to anyone's, it was a lot to take in. She was all grown up now.

"Thank you, for letting me come and crash your bachelor pad" she smiled leaning on the wall across from him staring at him, it meant the world to her that he would let her stay there with him until she was able to stand on her own to feet.

"Somebody has to take you in, I'm not all for taking in strays but I'll make an exception for you" He smiled at her, he loved how he felt when she was around, even in this broken down state of the girl he once knew so well.

"Well I'm glad you are" she grinned as her eyes darkened looking at the ground before her.

"So, are you going to talk to me or are we going to ignore the elephant in the room" his faced turned serious as he gazed into her eyes.

"What's there left to say?" she mumbled under her breathe.

"There's everything, you told me what happened but I don't understand it Rukia" he ran a hand through his hair in frustration sighing. She was one to hold in all of her feelings. She would trap herself in all of her misery and pain and make a shell around her self that she didn't want anyone to enter. She was always thinking of others it was a great quality to have, but it always resulted in more pain for her.

"He didn't love me, that's it there's nothing more to it" her voice so hollow it sent a shiver down his spine. She looked up and held a sad smile.

"He's a fucking idiot" Grimmjow grunted he couldn't believe that someone could put a person like Rukia through this. She of all people didn't deserve it. He was angry, nobody could hurt Rukia, nobody had the power to hurt her she was so strong and never let anyone in close enough to be able to break her heart. And here she was, with a broken heart on her sleeve and no protection because it couldn't break anymore than it already had.

"No it's not his fault; somewhere down the line I kind of figured he didn't love me anymore. I was just blinded by my own happiness and needs that I didn't want to believe it, if I said something when I started to notice it this wouldn't have happened" she shrugged her shoulders and walked in the kitchen. Her and Grimmjow where now standing face to face with each other the counter separating them staring intently at each other.

"You're full of shit" he grunted staring at her as he saw her mask break for a second. "You know you didn't do anything, you just feel like blaming yourself because that's what you do, you try and blame yourself for everything." he hated how kind she was.

"I don't, I just know where to place the blame and yes, I blame him for cheating but I am to blame for letting it get to that point. I just wasn't good enough for him to stay if I was he wouldn't have cheated." She was being honest, this is what she was feeling inside.

"That's what you always said, in high school when he would cheat on you or hurt you, it was your fault? You may look different, sound different, and even dress different but you're still the same girl I knew in high school" he leaned on the counter and smiled to himself as he saw her confused expression.

"Is that good or bad?"

"Good, because I loved that girl, bad because you haven't learned anything about love, or how to stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders" he smiled as he saw her smirk.

"I'm not that same girl; the world has turned into a dark place now. When I was high school the world was right in front of us ready for us to take our hold on it and now it seems as if it crumbled down." She has a smirk on her face but inside those words crushed her because it was true, the man she believed to be the one had left her, she left the city she had lived in leaving behind her music career. She started off as nothing everything that she worked so hard for was now gone.

"The world can be anything you make it"

Her smile faded away from her face.

"I choose to feel this way?"

"Not necessarily" he didn't know how to explain it exactly. "Hey, I have a good job for you if you're interested, I knew that you would be here for a while so I had one of my friends get you a gig for now" he wanted her to feel better and didn't feel like having a long talk with her right about now.

"What kind of job?" he peeked her interest.

"A bar, but it has live music which I'm sure you would appreciate" he smiled as he saw her face full of fascination.

"So I'm going to have to cater to drunken buffoons?" she lifted an eye brow at him.

"I'm sure you have experience in the matter, you dealt with me through high school" he had a smirk on his face as he saw her face full of pure amusement.

"True, if I can deal with a drunken Grimmjow I can probably deal with anything"

"Exactly, although I'm not sure why you dealt with my ass in the first place?" he did a lot of crazy things during high school and got into a lot of trouble and she never seemed to lose faith in him and always believed that there was good intentions behind his awful acts. She would always nurse him back to health when he was hung over or got into a fight, she would help him with his homework and projects so that he could keep his football scholarship.

"Because if you got kicked out, I would have to hang out with the baboons known as our graduating class" really it's because he meant the world to her and she wouldn't be able to bare high school on her own without his support.

"I think its cause you love me and would miss me to much" he smiled at her.

"Please get over yourself, Calvin Klein" she grunted as she walked over to the living room looking around the house.

"You know, when you invited me over I expected to see a gigantic naked picture of you in your living room" she leaned back on the wall crossing her arms as she stared at him, admiring his manly features.

"Is that a hint of disappointment I hear? I apologize" he smirked, "Just because I'm a male model doesn't mean that I have a big ego or anything" he was, he started modeling his second year of college and found a nag for it. He found it simple and easy there was no real talent for it, at least for him, and it paid really good money.

"I don't think it's possible for you to have a bigger ego Grimm" she smirked; she seemed to do that a lot when he was around. He amused her and it was fun to talk to him it was like there was no world beyond these walls. They had a special friendship that you really couldn't find anywhere.

"Oh before I forget we should head out soon its almost six, Matsumoto will be leaving soon she said wants to see if your well qualified"

"Alright let's head out" she smiled as he grabbed her hand and started walking toward the door.

…

Rukia and Grimmjow got out of the car it was already getting dark here and it was cold. Rukia rubbed her arm as she clung to her bag.

The words 'Scarlet Ave.' where written in simple white font. The inside looked clean and industrial looking. Distressed wood bar, metal chairs, and red exposed brick.

"Stay close" he grunted as they walked inside. There where people everywhere she couldn't believe it. To the right was a long bar that seemed to go on forever. There where workers running around and spinning bottles. To the left of the giant room there was a stage, small stage that had a drum set and many cords and amps on it with a microphone at the middle of it. The room was lit with Edison bulbs, dim mood lighting.

Grimmjow's hand tighten its grip on her small one as he pushed through the crowd, they walked until they reached the end of the bar and turned right where there was a stair case that went to the second floor where there was a glass door that read Manager Matsumoto. Grimmjow carelessly grabbed the handle and pushed the door open barging in.

"You know the door is there for a reason, you're supposed to knock on it ape" Rukia looked up at the voice and saw a tall woman almost the same height as Grimmjow with long flowing blonde hair and bright eyes, she was wearing black slacks and a skin tight white button up shirt with the top unbutton so a dangerous amount of cleavage was showing. She was sitting at a desk with a computer and calculator in front of her, she pushed the chair back and faced her new intruders. She was probably the most beautiful girl she had seen anywhere. Rukia was slightly awe struck when she saw her, such beauty and she owned a bar? Rukia assumed she was one of Grimm's model friend with looks like that.

"Well your expecting me, it would be rude to keep you waiting with idiotic formalities" he smirked as he let Rukia's hand go. She was looking out to the right, there were no walls in this room they were all glass windows so as better to see out into the bar and watch trouble, this room was located right above the bar area.

"What a charmer" she smiled as she stood up and walked to the pair. "Might I ask what a beautiful creature like you is doing with a man like him?" Matsumoto smiled as she saw Rukia, she couldn't get over how beautiful she was. Rukia politely laughed and put her hand out to shake Matsumoto's.

"Sometimes I wonder myself, I'm Rukia Kuchiki it's a pleasure to meet you" they shook hands.

"Just call me Matsumoto, and you said Kuchiki? As in Byakuya Kuchiki?"

"Ahh, well yes he's my brother-in-law" Rukia smiled.

"Brother-in-law? Then why do you guys share the same last name?" Rukia got this question quite a lot and quite frankly she hated answering it. It was a long story that she didn't want to share.

"Give her room, don't ask her too many questions just show her the bar and give her the job" Grimmjow read Rukia like a book. He knew how she got when Byakuya was brought up and how it affected her greatly. Matsumoto just rolled her eyes and walked up headed for the door motioning for them to follow.

"Very protective that's unlike you, well I'll give you the tour" she swayed her hips as she walked holding a clip board in front of her and a pen in her hair. The air was loud and music, no someone was singing. Rukia moved her head and looked up at the stage. Her and Grimmjow were waiting at the end of the bar.

"I'll be right back, have a drink or two I need to have a word with one of my special guests" she meant some big name was there and she needed to make sure they were being taken care of. She walked off without another word.

"Want a drink?" Grimmjow smiled at her, the dim lights made Rukia's eyes shine a beautiful shade of violet unlike any he has ever seen, and she had a small smile grace her lips as she looked up at him. "The strongest one they have" she answered as he walked to the other side of the bar to try and get the bartenders attention.

She turned back to the stage to see who was singing, they had such a strong voice and so unique. Her eyes were turned to the boy on stage. He was sitting on a stool with an acoustic guitar his eyes half open, his head tilted singing his heart out into the microphone. He had orange hair, which threw her for a loop, she lived in the city and saw a lot of crazy things in her days but orange hair? That one had not been seen before.

She turned her entire body now to face the stage to examine this boy; well boy wasn't the right word. He looked around her age maybe a little younger? He was wearing tight blue jeans with a black band shirt on with converse.

He looked in her direction, his eyes half closed opened wide as he gazed at her. His head was tilted singing now turned in her direction; he kept singing but couldn't take his eyes off of her.

He didn't look like Kaien did he? Was it just her imagination? That face, it was exactly the same.

Her eyes opened a little her hands at her side, that face it was so much like Kaien's it wasn't fair for fate to play with her like this. His eyes didn't leave hers, she had never met this guy in her entire life and here he was looking at her in such a way that she couldn't explain. His bright orange hair, his harsh honey brown eyes seemed to glow a bright orange as the lights from the stage hit them. Why did he have to look at her with that face? The face she ran away from.

She turned as fast as she could and leaned on the bar as her eyes widen in shock. She came here so she wouldn't have to see that face, so she wouldn't ever have to look that man in the eyes, to get away from him. She felt a strong hand press against the small of her back she turned to her left and was face to face with Grimmjow.

"Have you seen a ghost or something? People are here to drink away their problems not find new ones." his face was mere centimeters away from her, it was so loud in there he had to be close to hear her. His right hand still on her lower back he placed a shot in front of her with his left. She smiled, grabbed the shot with her right hand and drank it all. Right now, she wasn't going to feel any pain or remorse. Just then the music stopped and Matsumoto came up with a wide smile.

"Sorry about that, how are you two doing" she grinned she was on the bar side serving drinks around her before leaning in on her elbows.

"Fine, cut to the chase I would like to go home sometime today" Grimmjow grunted, he let the hand on Rukia's back go as he leaned on the bar with his left elbow.

"Grimm behave yourself, that's not how you talk to the girl who has my employment status in the palm of her hands" she grunted then turned to smile at Matsumoto.

"Well I'm glad you haven't rubbed off on your girlfriend yet Grimmjow, she seems a lot more civil than you." She laughed as she saw his annoyed expression, "Well Rukia, have you ever worked in a bar before?"

"Yes, when I worked for 2 years part time." she smiled being polite as she always was.

"Part time?"

"Oh, I was a writer during that time and it wasn't really time consuming so I picked up bartending." She smiled again as she took Grimmjow's drink and took a sip of it as he snatched it back from her.

"Well that's good, you have experience. Now you're not going to make me regret hiring you, right? Our last guy just quit on us out of nowhere and those shoes need to fill fast and I'm not patient".

"You can count on me, I will be here whenever you need me, and I never half ass anything I do"

"Well that's good to hear as well" Matsumoto had a good feeling about this girl. "Can you sing? Or play anything?"

"I do both actually" Rukia smiled it was the question she had been dying to answer. She was very artistic.

"Well why didn't you say that from the start! Rukia Kuchiki," she extended her hand out towards Rukia. "It will be a pleasure working with you my dear" Rukia smiled a big wide smile as she grabbed her hand roughly and shook it.

"Thank you! I promise I will not disappoint you! It was nice to meet you by the way"

"Yeah you too, see you in a couple days" Matsumoto ran off back up to her office.

"Did you hear that? I got the job!" she grabbed what was left of Grimmjow's drink and gulped it down letting a loud sigh escape her lips. She had a smug smile on her face, maybe things here would be better than she thought. She looked to her left and saw Grimmjow's mouth moving but couldn't hear anything. She motioned to her ears and put her hand out and raised her eyebrow. He smirked and leaned into her; he brought his right hand out and tucked her silky raven hair behind her ear as he pressed his lips to it.

"I knew you would get it, now let's go" he mumbled in her ear as she placed her hands on his chest and leaned up to his own ear.

"I owe you for getting me this job, anyway I could repay you?" she placed her hands on his shoulders to help her stay up so she would be able to stay by his ear. She glanced over his shoulder and caught a glimpse of the orange haired boy from the stage. He started at her with a strong stern look, and a scowl. He put his hands in his pockets and walked up to Matsumoto's office, why was he scowling at her for? She was so focused on the orange haired boy she didn't know that she was surprised when Grimmjow placed a hand on her hip and leaned down.

"I'll show you how you could repay me when we get home" he grinned. She looked up behind his shoulders to the room above them, she could see the boy from before looking down at her and she tried to keep her head down while looking up, she didn't want him to think she was stalking him at all. His face hurt her so much but she couldn't stop looking away from him.

"Keep it in your pants Grimm" she smiled as she grabbed his hand and started heading out. Their fingers entwined they headed into the night.

…

"Really? Of all the things I could do to repay you this is what you want?" her eyes were half closed in a blank and annoyed face. Grimmjow was sitting on a bar stool across the counter from her as she was on the other side.

"Don't judge me!" she laughed. Here she was at midnight making French toast for a full-grown man. Of all the things she could do to him and for him he wanted her to make him French toast. She couldn't keep the laugh in.

"I fail to see the humor in this, I'm a model all I know how to make is the healthy shit I've been craving Rukia sugar toast since you left years ago." He took another bite of his French toast and grunted closing his eyes.

"We'll I'm glad to know that after 5 years you've missed my toast?" she raised an eyebrow as smoothed out her white shirt and dusted the powder sugar off her black jeans. She looked at him and smiled a sad smile, she was glad to be back and glad to be with her best friend again, but she couldn't shake off this feeling in her heart.

"I'm going to bed" she turned to walk down the hall.

"I'm glad you came back, I missed you" he said it soft and in a gentle town as she stopped. She closed her eyes and smiled to herself before she headed to her room. It was nice to feel needed by someone. She forgot there was a world outside of Kaien and outside of the life they had together. But at least she was never going to go through that again, her heart was sealed, it was now locked away in a place that no one could ever reach it.

What was the point of love? It didn't do anything besides hurt you in the end. Kaien, he left a huge hole in her heart and she didn't want it to be filled with love, she will fill it with friends and career fulfillment. Love was useless.

If you don't fall in love, you don't get hurt