Story Notes:

This is my very first story. It popped into my head one night and I had asked JMCullen to co-write with me. She absolutely loved the idea and is excited to help out. You all definitely should read her story "Bella's Twin". She is such a talented writer who I am thankful for co-writing with me. We hope you enjoy and will review.

Also a special thanks to Stephenie Meyer for introducing me into the Cullen life. Without her books, and most importantly Edward, I wouldn't be so into this!!

Twilighted Supervisory Beta: shabbyapple

Author's Chapter Notes:

All characters are involved, some smutty goodness involved

Chapter 1

BPOV

I am irrevocably in-love with Edward. It would not take a rocket scientist to come to that conclusion. I loved waking up in his powerful arms and looking into those amber eyes of his. Having the feel of his cool body next to mine, is probably the number one in my personal top ten best moments of my life.

"Good morning beautiful," Edward said, in his heavenly voice, as he kissed me.

I deepened the kiss. That was one of my countless ways of letting him see how much I loved him. He then pulled me on top of him, rubbing circles along my back. I swear we would be the death of each other. I momentarily sat up and looked over to him.

"Hello," I responded back, as I leaned down and planted kisses on his marble chest.

I flicked his nipples lightly with my tongue, while slowly grinding into him. A growl rippled from his chest as he flipped me over, gently putting himself on top of me. The chill of his body mixed with the sweltering heat of my own.

He looked deep in my eyes. An impish grin formed on his handsome face as he began to slowly unbutton my shirt, allowing my breasts to fall out. His lips moved to mine. I felt his tongue part my lips to create an entrance inside my mouth, as he gently kneaded my breasts in his hands. My heart began dancing it's normal conga beat upon his touch. That was so Edward. I wanted him to be firmer, but he wouldn't because he was too afraid of hurting me. I trusted him enough to recognize that he certainly would never do so. I sighed, which in turn caused him to stop his intimate touches of my body. They were already far and few between.

As if reading my mind, he said to me, "Bella, you know why I can't go any harder or further with you. God knows I want to, but I don't think I would be physically able to control myself. I refuse to hurt you."

He shifted his body from mine to sit up, so he could make his approach to the rocking chair he frequented when he was in deep thought. I laid in bed briefly, knowing exactly where this conversation was headed. I sat up and re-buttoned my shirt, so I could go peer out my window.

"Edward, I trust you. You need to trust in yourself. I know you would never hurt me. I love you so much; I wish you only knew how much," I said staring out the window.

He grabbed my arm, pulling me into his lap, as he brushed his hand flat against my cheek to wipe away a fallen tear.

"Bella, I love you as well, but I feel it is my responsibility to protect you from harm, even if that means I can not touch you the way we both want me to. I wish I could trust myself with you intimately, but I just can not. I'm deeply sorry," he said, as he gently kissed me. It was in an effort to reinforce one of his many apologies surrounding this subject. I sighed in frustration and returned the kiss.

Knowing the physical attention we'd shared minutes ago was surely over, I stood up from Edward's lap to head toward the bathroom for one of my human moments that would be immediately followed by a shower, so we could get a jump on the day. My tummy began to make gurgling sounds; causing Edward to laugh in his angelic tone.

"You must be hungry. What would you like to eat, my love?" I looked at him incredulously; gosh, I sure do love a man who cooks.

"Hmmm… how about stuffed French toast with strawberries? That sounds utterly delicious," I said licking my lips and giving him my best puppy dog face. He laughed heartily, as he scooped me in his loving arms, and planted a soft kiss upon my forehead.

"Anything for you, my love," he said, as he released me to stand on my own two feet.

He headed downstairs, leaving me to my shower. I finished my human moment and was about to step into the shower, when he yelled up to me, "Hey the carnival is in town tonight, want to go?"

The carnival? Since when had Edward been interested in carnivals? He must be considering it another right of passage to my human life. I figured I'd humor him then, since I'd actually never been to one. "Sure! I have never been to one before!!!"

I found myself a bit excited about going. Maybe, it was mainly due to my curiosity. I could possibly end up having a great evening with Edward at this carnival, as long as I did not come in direct contact with any clowns. They had a tendency to creep me out. I hopped in the shower, all the while, envisioning what we would be doing tonight. I hurriedly finished, wrapped myself in a thick towel, and headed to my room to search for the perfect outfit for the carnival. After throwing my clothing in a tattered mess all over my bedroom floor, I secretly wished Alice was around to help me. On most occasions, I rebelled against her dressing me up. After becoming frustrated, I ultimately settled on a dark blue V-neck shirt with a light blue skirt and black ballerina flats.

As I was about to fix my hair, a delicious smell empowered my senses. I followed the scent downstairs, missing the final step. I started to fall, when suddenly, I felt Edwards strong arms catch me and hoist me up. I should have known he would be there to prevent my fall. Those damn vampire instincts. I thought shaking my head in amazement.

"You have to be more careful, love," he laughed, placing me in my chair where my breakfast was ready in front of me.

I looked at it with hungry eyes, taking one bite, and melted right in the chair.

"Oh. My. God. Edward!!! This is absolutely fantastic!!" I managed to say, as I shoved another bite in my mouth, moaning over how good it was.

"I love when you make that sound, Bella," he told me, as he got up from across the table. He pulled up the chair closest to me, bringing his lips to my neck to kiss me. My body flushed red at the feel of his touch. Heat rising wave after wave, as my heart sped up. He simply is not playing fair with me today, I thought. I moaned again at the coolness of his kisses. He knew precisely what his touch did to me, even if he pretended otherwise.

I turned to him, grazing my lips against his, "I love you. Thank you for this delicious breakfast!"

EPOV

I wished with all my existence that I did not have to reject Bella physically. There were numerous times that I wanted her so intensely that I almost lost control, but I just could not do it. I managed to cage the beast back to its strict confines in Bella's presence, and collect my wits about me to stop myself from going further. There was simply too much at stake. Her life being the primary risk. I could not and would not hurt her. I did my level best to make her understand my reasoning. I was doing what I felt right for her, even if that meant I had to tell her no. Her safety was the utmost importance. If she only knew how difficult it was to tell her no. It was near impossible. I wanted to give her everything, but I would not risk her life. I hated seeing her upset when we could not be intimate, but I was not controlled enough for love-making. Not yet.

As she started heading to shower, her stomach began to growl; making me laugh. It was definitely time to feed the human. "You must be hungry. What would you like to eat, my love?"

When she told me she had a taste for stuffed French toast with strawberries, I could not help but think how revolting that sounded.

As I made my way downstairs, I remembered there was a carnival tonight and thought Bella might enjoy going. I found in all my years on earth, most humans did. It was one of their many rights of passage. Something they simply had to do; even if just once.

"Hey the carnival is in town tonight, want to go?" I heard her breath suddenly stop.

I momentarily wondered if I should check on her. She sighed before replying that she would love to go, and that she had never been to the carnival before. What?? How can someone never go to the carnival!?!?!? I remembered one from a couple years back; my family and I went. The ferris wheel was quite enjoyable. Emmett loved showing off when it came to the strength contest. Even though Rose would not admit it, she loved the teddy bears he won her. Alice and Jasper had a lot of fun going through the 'tunnel of love'. I had enough mental visual to know, they planned on making a tradition of that particular ride at any carnival they visited. Maybe I will take Bella through there, I thought. I definitely wanted to take her on the Ferris wheel. The city lights looked amazing that high up. I figured she would enjoy watching the stars as well. My parents had fun just walking around hand in hand, watching the rest of us scurry from one attraction to the next. Occasionally, I would catch them stealing kisses, so I turned away.

I started humming her lullaby as I made her breakfast. I thought back to the conversation we had in her room. She knew my unconditional love for her. I could deny her nothing; except making love. Why could she not live with my decision? At least for now, I was as frustrated as she was. I quickly changed subjects within my mind, and began thinking about the carnival. This could actually be fun for Bella and I.

Bella's footsteps knocked me out of my mental reverie. I turned the corner to approach her, when she stumbled from the final step. I glided over to her, catching her before she fell.

"You have to be more careful, love," I said, lifting her in my arms.

I carried her to the chair directly in front of where her breakfast awaited, and gently placed her in the seat. I took a seat across from her, watching her eat that revolting food. I felt my nose wrinkle every so often from the smell. My human memories were quite faded, but near Bella, I was able to recollect some of the memories I thought lost. I remembered how much I used to love strawberries as a human. Now, I could not stand them. They were appalling. Yuck!

I sat there, a smile caressing my face, as she enjoyed the meal. I started thinking again about the carnival when I suddenly heard her moan, snapping me out of my thoughts. My god, what was she trying to do to me? If she only knew the affect she truly had on me. I loved to hear her moan. Without thought, I went to her. I instantly began peppering her neck with kisses, causing her to moan again. Oh, how I wanted her. I hated doing this to her, but she drove me crazy with her moans. I felt the beast within begging to come forth. The continuous battle of protecting her innocence began waging within. Sometimes, I was unable to stop myself. I knew it was because of how much I wanted and needed her. The constant tug of war on giving in and being abstinent was not fair to her or myself. She turned to me, placed a kiss upon my lips, and sent all my thoughts but the feel of her lips adrift.

"I love you. Thank you for this delicious breakfast," she said, her cheeks crimson and her eyes full of love.

"I love you too, my Bella. You're more than welcome," If she only knew how much I truly loved her.

She finished up her breakfast, both of us talking about what we would do tonight. The more time that passed, the more eager she seemed about going. My only concern, was hoping Bella had fun tonight. I would do my best to see that happen. I could not wait to see her face, or for what awaited us.