Disclaimer: Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not the owner of Naruto. Also, I do not endorse any of the events of this story, and void myself of responsibility for any and all nightmares caused by reading this story.

A/N: Due to the success of "Fuzzy Handcuffs: A Tale of Woe" (and by success, I mean "Fallen to Earth" printed off a copy back in September 2007 that is probably still circulating the anime fans at our high school, as it got passed around till we lost track of it…..) I decided to continue. I apologize in advance for any and all emotional scarring.

Sasuke was splayed across his bed, a satisfied grin alighting his face. His skilled fingers were going to work, doing everything just right. They skimmed the neck, up and down, stroking the face, he was caressing the pale body, moving in harmony, and the high and low pitches meeting his ears were his reward. He was getting farther and farther into it, going faster and faster, hearing the response pick up in intensity.

"You're getting really good at that guitar." Orochimaru commented as he strolled into the room. Sasuke shrugged without looking up and kept playing; Orochimaru stood where he was for a time and just listened. Eventually he spoke up again.

"Sasuke-kun, you've done nothing but play that guitar for weeks now. I think I know something more fun that we can do. " Orochimaru interrupted again. Sasuke put his guitar down begrudgingly, but as details of Orochimaru's idea began to unfold, he found himself genuinely excited.

"I know you're probably not ready right now." Orochimaru concluded as Sasuke shook his head eagerly "We both need a little bit of time to prepare. So why don't we start by making a trip to the drug store? We may as well get everything we'll need."

Off the pair went, nervously tip-toeing through the personal products, occasionally tugging something off of its shelf with shy fingers. Before long, they had gathered a wide array of items, earning them a few strange looks from the cashier. Body glitters, lotions, and latex of all kinds went over the till, into bags and then out the door with Sasuke and Orochimaru. The pair stole glimpses of each other all along the way home. They were terrified, but somehow, still excited in their own ways.

Of course, just jumping right in was out of the question. There would be a rigorous practice regimen. Weeks would be required to grind out the very best each of them was capable of putting out.

"Ready?" Orochimaru called out during one of their many dry runs. Sasuke nodded, and Orochimaru flicked the stereo's "play" button with his tongue. Bassy music poured forth from the speakers, immediately captivating the bodies of both ninjas. The beat poured through them as they twisted and shook their hips to the music. It was exhausting work, but if they were going to be able to make this the best it could be, they had to get used to how their bodies worked. Sasuke felt as though he was getting a handle on how Orochimaru could move his body; Orochimaru felt the same about Sasuke. Finally the pair stopped, panting heavily. Orochimaru's tongue flipped the stereo switch and the booming music was silenced.

The pair quietly slipped out of their spandex outfits. Sasuke went to toss his into the nearby laundry hamper and hesitated.

"Better get a good sleep, Sasuke; we won't have much time for sleeping tomorrow night." Orochimaru chided.

"Yeah. 'Night." Sasuke sighed before trudging off to bed. In truth, he was more nervous and scared than he had ever been before.

The day dawned, and both Orochimaru and Sasuke went through the paces of the day in a shy, distracted manner. The pair chewed and swallowed their meals mechanically, threw on random articles of clothing, and stared blankly into the distance. After what seemed an eternity, twilight began to approach and the slightest hints of red began to streak the sky.

"I guess it's time, Sasuke." Orochimaru prodded. Sasuke nodded quickly and tiptoed down the hallway after Orochimaru.

So it began. Street clothes were exchanged for leather, lace and nylon while an assortment of glittering lotions and powders glided over their fair skin. It wasn't long before they were ready to go. From the early stages in the bedroom, they progressed to the hallway, through the house and into the car. They headed out to the open road, with Orochimaru trying desperately to keep his eyes and mind on the road. After a quick trip, they pulled up at their final destination.

"Is this the door for us?" Sasuke asked, eyeing the small, shabby metal door disdainfully. Orochimaru laughed and nudged his young companion closer.

A security guard glanced at their dubious costumes disinterestedly. Orochimaru handed him their performer's ID cards and ushered them through the back door. The pair scurried quickly away for last minute make-up retouches.

"There you are!!" a high pitched voice exclaimed. The two whirled about to face the leader of their dance troupe.

"We're on in 15 minutes; you two are cutting pretty close." she scolded. The other backup dancers gathered around, stretching and warming up. Sasuke grinned sheepishly. His fears were beginning to subside; they could pull this off. Roadies were dashing in every direction, and a faint warble could be heard from the dressing rooms.

With just moments to go, a blonde woman dashed past the dancers. Seconds later came the pounding of a very familiar beat. Lighting up their faces with both false and genuine smiles, the dancers poured onto the stage.

Everything went brilliantly. Orochimaru, Sasuke and the other dancers assumed all the right positions with ease; they shook, popped and shimmied in perfect unison. The crowds at the feet hollered their approval. Finally, the highlight of the concert arrived. When the singer took a deep breath and started into the chorus, Orochimaru and Sasuke sang right along with her:

"Be my bad boy,

Be my lover,

But don't be my friend.

You can be my bad boy

But understand

That I don't need you in my life again."

The final note of the song resounded throughout the stadium and the stage was thrust into darkness. Screams and whoops erupted from the audience. The sound ninja and the rest of the dancers stole through the darkness and headed backstage. From there, they could hear more roars of approval as the main act took her bows and said her 'good night's.

A shy figure approached the two male dancers in the dim light. In one hand he carried a bouquet while the other hand shoved his glasses back up his nose.

"Thank you, Kabuto! They're beautiful!" Orochimaru exclaimed, accepting the flowers. Some thing caught Sasuke's eyes and he reached into the bouquet; he couldn't but laugh the object he fished out. Orochimaru stifled a giggle. Sasuke was holding an all-too-familiar pair of pink, fuzzy handcuffs.

"Does this mean you haven't forgotten our little prank, Kabuto-kun?" Orochimaru teased. Kabuto fought back the primal reaction aroused by his master's taunting tones.

"You handcuffed me to the roof, Orochimaru-sama. I'm not quite ready to forget that…" Kabuto chided.

The rest of the evening passed in a blur of laughter, congratulations, dancing, parties and music. It wasn't till the wee hours of the morning that the pair returned home, still jittery from the adrenaline of the hours past.

The roses from Kabuto were put in a vase by the bed; they really did make the room a tad nicer. However, it was the handcuffs that Sasuke and Orochimaru put to better use; after all, they had to burn off all that energy somehow, didn't they?

It was then they learned that dance training had more than one practical application.

A/N: Nothing I could possibly say here would make any of that story less wrong.

Feel free to drop me a review about it. As filthy as I feel right now, I enjoyed writing that.

Congratulations for being able to make it to the end of the story! Hope you enjoyed it! Hooray for innuendo!