A Revelation
A warm hand glided over her soft stomach to gently cup her breast, a practised thumb grazing back and forth over the bra-covered nipple.
"Draco-"
Lips that had been caressing her neck quickly shifted to smother her own as the other hand that had been cradling her head moved down to slowly unhook the top button of her white oxford shirt.
"No-Draco-" Jerking her mouth away from his Hermione raised her hands to push futilely at the solid body currently lying atop her own.
"Shh Mione, it's alright." Roughened skin ghosted across her cheek as the boy once again sought out her lips, the words "I'll take care of you." whispered just before he caught them.
Once more she felt her body start to slacken as a talented tongue massaged her own, effectively bringing her attention away from everything else.
It was only when she felt cold air against her breasts and stomach that her senses rallied again.
"No-Draco-NO!" Her body began thrashing in earnest, the unexpected motion dislodging the one that was pinning her to the richly adorned bed.
An angry grunt and a curse was heard from behind Hermione as she scrambled up, desperately redoing the buttons that had been undone. Wrenching open the door she entered the shared common room of the Head Dorm, her breathing erratic and her mind in disarray.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" The door she had just come through slammed all the way open as Draco followed her out of his room, his grey eyes flashing with anger.
"I told you - I'm not ready for that!" Her voice sounded hoarse with emotion and she was desperately trying to keep the tears from her eyes.
"Why the hell not?! Haven't I waited long enough!? We've been together nearly eight months-"
"Draco, eight months is not a long time for a relationship. Five, ten years is a long time for a relationship-"
"You expect me to wait that long to fuck you?!"
"Aaargh!" Picking up the nearest thing - a book - Hermione hurled it towards the blonde head that was currently glaring daggers at her. He didn't even flinch as the book slammed into the wall about a foot away from him - she always had been a rubbish shot.
"How dare you! I am not just some-some fuck toy for you!" Her screams echoed shrilly round the large room.
"Well I bloody know that don't I, since we're not doing anything close to fucking!"
"You-you bastard! That's all you care about!"
"That is not all I care about you stupid bint. If it was I wouldn't have waited so long for you. Do you know how many girls would willingly spread their legs for me at just a word-"
"So I'm supposed to be grateful to you that you don't sleep with other girls while you're with me?!?"
"That's not what I meant and you know it!"
"Fine! You know what, just go to one of your whores. I don't care-" Her voice broke into a sob at the last word since they both knew it was a complete lie. Desperately she covered her face with both hands as the tears started to flow.
"Mione-" The anger had left his voice as she heard him coming closer.
"Don't-" The word was choked and barely distinguishable but it didn't matter since he took no notice anyway. Wrapping his arms round her he rested his head on top of hers and sighed.
She didn't want him there right now. She hated him seeing her weak, knowing that it revealed just how much she cared for him and how she would never see him in the same situation. He hardly ever let his feelings show which was one of the things that aggravated and pained her the most. Of course their relationship was never going to be a smooth one. They were both too stubborn and too passionate for it to be an easy ride. Yet Hermione was always the one who made the concessions. It was she who always made her way back to him after they'd had a fight. She, who always apologized after an argument. She, who couldn't sleep without knowing that he was still going to be with her when morning came around. In short, she truly believed that she cared for him, that she loved him, an awful lot more than he did her.
Her tears gradually dried up though she continued sniffling. Draco simply held her. He never said anything when she cried, which she seemed to do more and more the longer the relationship went on. Hermione didn't know if this was simply because he didn't know what to say or that he didn't care. It was just another part of him that she'd never be able to touch or understand.
She pulled out of his embrace, her gaze fixed on the carpet. Turning away from him she made her way over to the adjoined kitchen to get a tissue.
She felt his presence at her back as she blotted her eyes and wiped her nose. Cool fingers reached out and stroked though the untamable mass of hair at the back of her head.
Neither of them spoke.
Finally she decided that she should make her way to her bedroom for another sleepless night, her pillow to be once again soaked with tears. Just as she was about to voice her intentions he spoke,
"Is it because it's your first time? You know I'll be gentle with you. I'll make it good for you." The words sounded stilted and heavy, like he had to physically force them out of his mouth. She could also detect the vague underlying confusion; he really didn't have a clue as to her reasons for rejecting him.
"It's not that. I-I know you'd make it … enjoyable." her voice was weak and hoarse, her throat still hurting from her crying.
"Then what is it?" The confusion was more pronounced now.
"Draco please, I-I can't-" She felt the tears welling up again and her chest constricting. She lowered her head to try and distract herself with the tile pattern on the kitchen worktop but Draco wasn't having it,
"What is it Hermione?" Forcefully he turned her so that she faced him and grasped her by the shoulders, yet she refused to raise her eyes. She couldn't look at him, at his beautiful face that she loved so much, she just couldn't…
"I want you to tell me."
"Please-"
"No." Grabbing her chin he raised her face so that she had no choice but to look into his eyes. Leaning his head down toward her so that her whole line of vision encompassed nothing but him, he said slowly and deliberately, "I'm going to keep you here until you tell me what's wrong."
The burning intensity of his eyes left her in no doubt that he was serious. She started to shake her head only to have his hand still the movement. His eyes narrowed,
"I mean it Mia. I'm not letting you go until you tell me." Her eyes closed of their own accord, her only escape from the endless grey depths of his.
"I can't Draco, I can't. I can't tell you." Her words were a broken whisper, her breathing labored.
"Why?" His voice held the steel edge she knew well. He would keep her there all night if he had too.
"Please-"
"No. I want to know your reason for not letting me be with you and I want to know it now."
Even as she desperately wanted to be anywhere but here, doing anything but having this conversation, a part of her was so tired of having to keep fighting him, to keep making up excuses. A part of her just wanted to tell him even if it did break her heart. Even if she did have to endure his ridicule and subsequent abandonment of her. She just wanted it to be over,
"I-I can't do that with you…"
"Why?"
Taking one deep breath against her trembling heart she allowed herself to say the words she had tried so desperately to hide these past months, the most painful and most wonderful months of her life,
"Because it's all I have left. You already own everything else. You own my heart and my mind, my thoughts and my desires, everything about me is yours except this and if I give it to you-" Unbidden the tears returned, cascading down her cheeks while her body and voice racked with sobs,
"If-if I give it to you then … there'll be nothing left of me. You'll have it all. And when you leave me, I won't… I won't be able to bear it."
Silence reigned.
More sobs shook her body and she screwed her eyes tighter together while her mind berated her for her foolishness in telling him. She envisioned images of his most triumphant smirk plastered across his face, his laughter following quickly on it's heels. In the silence she heard his words, "Aww, the Little Mudblood's truly in love with me. How very, very sweet."
"Mione, open your eyes." His firm voice cracked like a whip through the quiet stillness of the room, effectively breaking through her thoughts. She couldn't detect any amusement lacing the words but her mind was too shattered for her to rely on.
Her eyes remained closed.
"Mione, I want you to look at me." He had moved even closer so that she could now feel his warm breath on her lips. She didn't want to, but she was a Gryffindor and courage and bravery forced her to open her eyes.
Draco stared down at her. He wasn't laughing, but he looked far from happy,
"I have to say, without a shadow of doubt, that that is the most god-awful reasoning I've ever heard."
She felt her heart rip in two and pushed against him with all her might as she tried to flee. He almost lost balance before he grabbed both her smaller hands within his one of his own,
"Hey, no!" He pushed his body further into hers, trapping her between him and the kitchen counter, rendering her struggles useless.
"You think I endured the fury of my parents, the threats of disownership, the ridicule from my housemates and the constant "If you hurt her Malfoy, I'll kill you" speeches form Pothead and Weasel simply for the fun of it? Do you still think that this is some insanely elaborate Slytherin plot to hurt you? That somehow I managed to what? Lie my way into The Order and force you to extend to me your kindness, your compassion, your loyalty, even though you had no proof that I deserved it? Did I then bribe he-who-cannot-be-manipulated-by-any-means Dumbledore into making me Head Boy at the beginning of the year, forcing me to share a room with you, forcing me to interact with you even more, to become part of your life? To witness your insane little habits like sitting down every morning with your one-and-a-half sugared tea to read a few pages of some ridiculously big muggle novel for a half an hour before tidying up the common room and then heading off to the Great Hall. Like always leaving me a fresh pot of coffee for when I stumble out of bed. Like making sure my Quidditch robes are always back in time for my next practice. Like making an extra set of class notes for me when I'm ill. Like yelling at me when I keep leaving my socks on the floor or when I leave the bathroom in a mess-" Draco forcefully stopped his rant before taking a long, deep sigh, closing his eyes and rubbing a hand against his forehead.
When he spoke again his words were quieter, tinged with something she hardly ever heard from him; sadness,
"You still think that I don't care for you, you still think that I don't-" Abruptly he clenched his teeth together and shook his head as if in disgust, something akin to pain written clearly across his features.
"Draco…" Seeing the distress so evident on his face, Hermione couldn't help but reach up to smooth her palm across his cheek. Taking a deep breath he raised his stormy eyes to look at her once again,
"You…you have to understand. My family…they never showed any emotion. Not to me, not to each other, not to anyone. Emotions, feelings … they were weaknesses. And Malfoy's were never weak. Never."
"I-I know. I understand." And she did. She had witnessed with her own eyes how the Malfoy family conducted themselves and Draco was right, there was no warmth there. Still, even though she understood why he acted the way he did, she still found his lack of emotion hard to handle sometimes, well most times, if she were being honest.
"But Mia…" Draco mimicked her own actions and reached up his hand to glide down over her smooth cheek before gently brushing his thumb along her lips,
"I am… I am trying… For you. I'm trying to change for you."
And that was it. Something that meant so much more to her than endless declarations of love and devotion. She saw the sincerity in his eyes and all the weight, all the fear that she had been carrying around in her heart seemed to lift. It didn't matter that he didn't actually say the words. Just to know that he did truly care for her was enough. That she wasn't burdened with an unrequited love so strong that it felt like she was drowning in it.
A watery smile stretched across her face before she reached up, grabbed him and kissed him passionately,
"I love you Draco." She spoke against his own lips after the kiss had subsided. Without warning she felt herself being crushed into a hug,
"Y-you too." The words were spoken directly against the skin of her neck and she barely heard them, but the tears of relief and joy that made their way down her cheeks gave evidence that she had.
Draco's head gradually made it's way back up to her face, placing slow, almost reverent, kisses up her neck and along her jaw before kissing away any left-over tears on her blotchy skin. Hermione simply leaned against him, feeling exhausted but happier than she had been in what seemed like an eternity.
They continued standing there, simply holding each other, for a long time. It was only when Hermione caught sight of the clock on the wall that she realized how late it was. She was supposed to meet with Ginny in the library early tomorrow morning to help her with her Transfiguration assignment. Still she was loathe to leave Draco's embrace, loathe to leave the solid warmth of his body,
"Draco?"
"Hmm?"
"Could-could I stay with you tonight?" At his raised eyebrow she hastened on,
"I-I don't mean to do … that, but could we just sleep in the same bed? With clothes on obviously."
" 'Fraid not love." Her heart stuttered - he didn't want her? After everything that had just happened? Before her mind could truly break down, the drawling voice continued,
"I always sleep nude."
She giggled before noting that he was in fact serious,
"You do?!"
"Yep. But hey, I'm more than happy for you to join me…as long as you're nude too so I don't feel like the odd one out." Her initial shock quickly subsided when she saw the recognizable smirk,
"Well don't you think it would be more appropriate that you sleep clothed so as not to make me feel left out?"
"Nah, you're going to be the guest, so you should abide by the rules of the house, or more accurately, bed."
"In that case we can sleep in my bed, where the clothed people sleep."
Making a tsking sound he pulled her along behind him towards his bedroom,
"Well see, that would be fine, except I know for a fact that that hideous furball of yours resides in your room and I've no doubt sleeps on your bed. And I really don't think that there's enough room for the three of us." He closed the door once they were both safely back inside the lush extravagance of his room and turned to face her,
"So Miss Granger…" He gave a very obvious, leering perusal of her body "…whenever you're ready."
Spying one of Draco's shirts hanging over a chair in the far corner Hermione replied,
"I think I may have a solution that would suit both our requirements." Grabbing her wand from his bedside table where she had previously left it she walked over to where his t-shirt lay. Turning towards him she gave a quick flick of her wand and his t-shirt appeared over her with her previous clothes folded neatly on the desk behind her.
Draco's eyes widened slightly before a slow smile spread across his face. When he next spoke his voice was deeper, huskier,
"Yes … I think I could cope with that." He started to move toward her when she held up a hand to stop him,
"Uh-uh. Your turn too." And before he even had chance to reply she waved her wand towards him and he was covered with the most hideous grey overall-type garment that anyone could possibly imagine,
"Hey!"
She laughed as he lunged towards her, grabbing her round the waist and lifting her up into the air. She squealed as he threw her onto the bed before trapping her underneath him,
"Just for that…" He deftly removed the wand from her hand and waved it over himself,
"Oh no!" She clapped her hand over her eyes. She had felt that part of him before, hard not to in some situations, but she didn't feel like she could cope with sleeping next to him when it wasn't … covered up.
She heard her wand being placed back on the bedside table before two large hands tried to pry hers away from her face,
"No no no!"
Draco let out a loud huff of exasperation,
"For crying out loud woman, I'll have you know that my body is a thing of beauty and it should be a crime to cover it up."
Cautiously she peaked out from between her fingers and gingerly looked down his uncovered chest to see a pair of black sleeping trousers riding low on his hips.
She gave him a grateful smile and let out a small "Thank you."
"Hm." Draco gave an arrogant sniff before rolling off her. They both got under the thick duvet and Hermione snuggled into his chest, one arm wrapped around his waist.
"This feels nice." She whispered with her eyes closed.
"Be even nicer if we were both naked."
She smiled at the petulant tone.
They were both quiet for while, Hermione listening to the heart beating steadily inside Draco's chest.
She wasn't sure if he was asleep when she tentatively spoke,
"Draco?"
"Hmm?" Not asleep apparently but he didn't sound far off from it,
"Just so you know…I don't expect you to wait ten years."
In the dark she could just make out the quirk of his lips,
"Bloody glad to hear it." He shifted his head slightly so as to place a soft kiss on her forehead, "Now go to sleep."
And she did.
A/N: Thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed! I have to apologize to the first three reviewers since this is a one-shot but i forgot to click the 'complete' option when i first posted it - i was tired and i wanted to go to bed lol :) Anyway, hope you're not too disappointed. Obviously if inspiration strikes i will continue this story but for now, i think it works well as a one-shot. But i do sincerely apologize for being misleading.
Thanks again & take care all x