Okay, here's the new version of Fight For Freedom Episode One. Like all my other work I post as I write. For those of you who haven't read it, please read Fight For Freedom. It's a parody of Mossflower. This is a parody of Martin the Warrior. There are a lot of references to other material in here. Some of you won't get all the jokes, but you should still get most of them. You might even get one that I didn't even mean to put in!

Oh yes and this story is (mostly) told from Martin's perspective.

I was stuck under rubble. A lot of it. I couldn't move my left arm. I couldn't even feel my right. I was on top of something metallic. I couldn't tell what it was. I couldn't see and even if I could I couldn't move my neck.

Suddenly there was a loud bashing then a scraping noise. A giant piece of rubble was lifted of to my right. Then I saw what lifted it and shreaked with terror. It was a hideous mechanical thing and it was HUGE! It looked like it had been bashed together from junk. It's one big eye stared and the three flaps surrounding it well... flapped. Then it lifted off another piece of junk and I was free.

"Thanks," I uttered and tried to get up. The pain was unbelievable. I thought my head would explode. No surprise there; it happened before. If this was Wikipedia that would be a link. But it isn't.

Then the thing whined and lifted the thing under me and shook it a little. As I went flying I caught a glimpse of two giant creatures and the junk-machine. I also heard something like Gordon or guardum or Foredom. Then I hit something solid. Maybe stone, maybe steel, maybe unobtainium. I blacked out almost instantly.

The first thing I heard when I woke up was "Welcome to Atlantis- I mean Marshank." Then I saw the face of a big ugly rat. Oh wait, it was a ferret. Whatever. They're both evil rodents. I know I'm being a bit racist here but almost all the characters are racist. Except possibly that ferret. But maybe it's just me being a jerk. I'm like that sometimes; usually when I go without fighting for more than a week. It's like a drug to me, you know. Sometimes I just get this urge to fight someone. It's disastrous sometimes. Like right now. I had an urge to punch him in the face. I did. It hurt a lot. Probably because there was a six-inch-thick piece of bulletproof polycarbonate between him and me. Oh wait, did I say that? That's Carter's job- I mean- whose Carter... I don't know any Carter. See? This is what happens when I go without fighting.

Suddenly I was moving. I couldn't figure out why. I struggled a little then looked down. I was bound to a conveyor belt. I mean seriously, what did he think this was? A manufacturing facility?

Then a pleasant female voice announced over some hidden speaker system, "Welcome to the Marshank fortress construction site and slave correctional facility." I was dropped off the conveyor belt and onto some sort of cart. I began passing through a chamber where ragged creatures were mining something. I would have called the union. "Please be aware that this is a non-union workplace. All complaints should be placed to the administrator." The cart suddenly started to travel uphill and into a tunnel.

"Current topside temperature is thirty degrees Celsius. For the comfort and safety of our employees the Marshank facility is maintained at a pleasant twenty degrees." The cart stopped with a bit of a jolt. I tried to get off but then I saw the huge drop below. I stayed on the cart. There was a very large door in front of me. It looked like it could hold water out of a submarine. "Bi-monthly radiation and chemical screenings are a requirement of continued employment at the Marshank facility. Skipping these screenings will result in immediate incineration."

The door opened and on the other side was a room with a spill of radioactive-looking green liquid. There were some mice wearing radiation suits mopping it up. "If you believe you have been exposed to radiation or other hazards please see a doctor immediately. Because hazardous materials are regularily handled at the Marshank facility; eating, drinking, or smoking shall be done in designated areas only after completing a full decontamination." The cart passed through the room and took a sharp right at a T-intersection. "This train-er-cart runs to Sector C green level security areas. If your destination is yellow or red level please leave the train-er-cart at the Sector B Transit Hub and board a high security train-er-cart." I saw a cart stop on the other side of the tunnel. There was a security guard pounding on the door. "Next stop- sector B slave compound." I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. Suddenly the amazing journey (with amazing graphics-so much better than Quake!) was over. The cart emerged from the tunnel into a large open room full of ragged creatures, presumably slaves. I was literally dumped from the cart and it moved on.

Trivia: The opening scene is a parody of what:

A) The opening scene of Half-Life 2 Episode One
B) The fifteenth episode of the second season of Stargate Atlantis
C) A news story found in the Fake Times
D) A scene from a disaster movie made in 1999

Next chapter: More of your favourite characters!