This is a new idea that came to my mind and wouldn't let go so I had to write it. This story won't be entirely happy, but it will have a positive ending. This should only be 4 chapters long and I already have 2.5 written. Also, A LOT of thanks to "Phnxgirl" for coming up with this title ;)

*For anyone that reads Ghost: Sorry I posted this instead of updating that one, but I started posting when I had 12 chapters written and now I only have 5. I'm a bit stuck there, and inspired here, so in an attempt not to catch up and enter panic mode (which won't be good for anyone that cares about it), I'm slowing down for now and giving you this instead. I hope you also give it a chance.*

Chapter 1: Life

"Sam, sniper, get down." Callen's words came as a desperate yell as soon as he saw the spark of the sunlight hitting the weapon in the roof of one of the buildings that overlooked the open courtyard the NCIS team had just breached.

Sam tried to dodge to the side as he heard his partner's warning, but even with all of his effort, a part of his brain was telling him it was too late. Just as he was resigning himself to his possible fate, he sensed his body being pushed to the ground and never felt the pain that he had been already expecting.

As soon as Deeks had heard Callen's panicked voice, two images flashed through his mind: Kamran and Aiden, and Sam crying and holding his wife's body, and without even thinking of himself or his own dreams and family, moved as fast as he ever remembered doing, pushing his senior teammate down. He slumped next to him and instantly felt the pain on his side and the dampness starting to expand in his shirt, just in the area left open and unprotected between the Kevlar vest's front and back. As the pain started to spread through his body and he began to shiver, he closed his eyes and thought back to that morning.

-x-x-x-

"Good morning princess." As every morning for the past almost four years, Deeks opened his eyes to the most beautiful sight of all. His partner, best friend, girlfriend and fiancé… his Kensi, next to him and cuddled against his own warm body. He had learned never to take things for granted and he was still surprised that this perfect woman had really chosen him.

"Good morning baby. Time to get up or do we get five more minutes?" Kensi yawned as she snuggled further into Deeks' chest, relishing the feeling of his strong arms embracing her. She would never stop appreciating how protected and loved Deeks made her feel and she smiled as it became clear how happy she really was in her current life.

Deeks turned to the nightstand and looking at the clock, decided it was time to get ready for work. He hated denying his ladybird anything, even the simplest of requests, but the job called and they had to keep saving the world. "No time Fern, but if we get up now and skip breakfast at home and just pick something on the road, we can have some extra time in the shower." He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, even though he knew Kensi couldn't see his face from her position on the bed.

As expected, Kensi could perfectly imagine what Deeks was doing and picture the smile that lighted his face at the request. She couldn't deny this perfect man anything, so sighing contently she stepped out of bed and pulled Deeks' hand behind her. "I love you." She said as they made their way together into the bathroom.

"And I love you, princess. Today and forever."

-x-x-x-

For Callen, everything happened in slow motion, first he heard the echo of his own scream, then saw Deeks rushing to the side, and both he, and Sam, hitting the ground hard. But, while Sam rolled over and turned to look at him, Deeks was unmoving next to him. "Kensi, there's a sniper in the roof, take him out." He shook his head and forced the words out as his mind could only concentrate on his younger teammate's body.

The female agent had heard Callen's distressed notice but after not hearing anything else, thought they had all managed to duck in time. She focused on the rooftops that surrounded hers and patiently searched through the scope of her riffle until she found the sniper and swiftly took him out. "Sniper down, I repeat, sniper down." Not receiving a response, she repeated her remark and then focused on continuing her overwatch duties.

At first, Sam couldn't comprehend what has just happened… not until he rolled around and saw Deeks next to him. He held his breath as he stared at his friend's body up and down, and his blood turned to ice and soon as he came across the growing crimson spot on Deeks' side and the puddle of the liquid that was already accumulating under him. He turned panicked eyes to his partner and saw his same expression mirrored in Callen's eyes… he had seen the blood too.

Both senior partners instantly moved towards their injured teammate as soon as they realized he had been hit and turned him around, so he wasn't face down anymore but staring up at the sky. Sam focused on stopping the bleeding as best as he could but there was so much blood that in seconds his hands were completely red.

Callen grabbed his phone and quickly called the Wonder Twins, never waiting for a greeting, just starting to rush through his instructions as soon as the called was picked. "We need an ambulance, Deeks has been shot. We need an ambulance NOW." He shouted the last part and just after receiving confirmation that the ambulance was on the way, hanged up and fell to his knees next to Sam and Deeks.

As soon as Kensi heard, through her com, what Callen had just said presumably to the Wonder Twins, her own blood chilled and her hands dropped from her weapon as she fought an inner battle to regain her own voice. "Callen, what happened?" It took her more seconds than she had to spare to finally regain her composure but now, as she understood the senior partners' previous silence, she felt tears pickling her eyes as she waited for her team leader's response.

"Kens…" Callen couldn't say anything else, after all, how do you tell your teammate and little sister than her partner, best friend and boyfriend, just got shot protecting his partner. "I'm sorry…"

Kensi closed her eyes as a lone teardrop rolled down her face and she felt her heart rate spiraling out of control. "Is… is he dead?" She swallowed hard and fell back against the building's wall as she sensed her world collapsing around her.

"No… but it's bad, Kens. It's really bad." Callen had his own eyes closed as he said some of the hardest words he ever had been forced to push past his throat. "Make sure there's no other sniper and come down… we need you here… he needs you." Then he turned to look back at his two teammates, Sam had tears running down his own face, and Callen's own started coming too as he realized this was only the third time he ever remembered his partner crying on the field. Their fallen teammate had his eyes closed, but the shaky and irregular fall and rise of his chest signaled that he was still alive.

Deeks heard the words around him, but his whole body felt numb. He couldn't open his eyes or move his own lips. He tried lifting his hand to signal his teammates that he was alive, but regardless of how hard he had tried, he couldn't lift any of his limbs. He felt a cold sweat beginning at the nape of his neck and felt his mind being pulled from the conscious world and into something else.

-x-x-x-

Young Marty Deeks was nine years old and a third grade student. He was currently hiding in the closet in the locker room of his school's gym. He was wearing blue shorts and a white t-shirt. He had long blonde hair, and blue eyes. He also had a split lip, and bruises on his arms. Under his shirt also more contusions and sore ribs.

The boy tried steading his breathing, in a desperate attempt not to be discovered. A cold sweat began at the nape of his neck, and he felt a chill starting to spread down his back. He closed his eyes and prayed for no one to find him. He was shaking now, as the passage of time was only making him more desperate and scared.

After five more minutes, the door to the closet opened and a wide-eyed and terrified nine-year old stared at the faces of four of his classmates. The ones he had been running and hiding from.

"Found him." The first one excitedly shouted.

"The little wimp." The second one pointed out.

"And he's all beaten again, he's clearly someone's toy." The third said to his companions as he laughed at the scrawny boy cowering in the closet.

"Get him out." The last one said as he motioned to his friends.

Little Marty saw a hand reach towards him and felt it grab the collar of his t-shirt, silent tears streaming down his face as the bigger boys pulled him from the closet and back into the locker room. They surrounded him from all sides and started closing in on him, with wide smirks and malice in their eyes. Seeing no other out and not wanting another beating, he pushed one of the boys and started running, taking advantage of his agility and smaller frame to get away from them. He was an expert in running thanks to his father and his drunken rages, so now, he ran… skipped the rest of the school day, and didn't stop running until he reached the beach and collapsed on the sand… The cold sweat still palpable at the nape of his neck and the chilling sensation still spreading through his body.

-x-x-x-

Kensi took two minutes to check all the surrounding rooftops and finding no other snipers, proceeded to quickly break down her own weapon and fit it in its case, before running down the stairs and towards her teammates.

By this point, both Sam and Callen had taken off their own vests and t-shirts, using them to stop the bleeding in Deeks' side, but both knowing their efforts weren't taking them anywhere. "Deeks." Sam's voice wasn't usually this shaky, but he couldn't force it to sound stronger, not when another teammate could die protecting him, not when he could lose another part of his family, and not when he would have to look Kensi in the eye and tell her Deeks had died for him. "Please, brother say something."

"Come on, man." Callen decided to join his partner, hoping their combine efforts would reach into wherever dark place Deeks' mind had gone too. "You can't do this to us, please, say something… anything." The desperation in the team leader's voice only increased as they kept begging for the younger man to respond, and got nothing in return. They had both turned off their coms by now, and looked at each other in anguish as they thought of Kensi and what this would do to her.

Deeks for his part, was still trapped inside his own body, and with the same chilling sensation all around his body. Somewhat conscious but not able to move, speak or even open his eyes. He wanted to scream, and say that he was still there… that he wouldn't go anywhere… that he wouldn't give up… but he couldn't, so instead he just focused on the good memories with the two men currently begging him to fight.

-x-x-x-

"Come on, man. Join us for some beers and then you can go home and wallow in your own sorrow, but give us a chance to make this day better." Callen wasn't one to insist, if he was told no, he just accepted it and moved on. At least he was that way in his relationships, but never in a case or when his personal life was affected. But today, he was determined to keep pushing, even if a friend was the one that had said no. "Just a beer, in the beach, please."

The blonde detective sadly shook his head as he looked down at the ground and put on his shoulder bag as he prepared to leave the Mission.

"Callen's right, just one beer, do it for us." Sam joined his partner in trying to convince the younger man, and he thought that the man surely couldn't deny the two of them when they had joined forces. "Just for today, brother. We're also your friends."

It was January 8th, 2014. Deeks' birthday. And his partner and best friend was in a classified and secret operation in the other side of the globe.

"Please, Deeks" The team leader said.

"Just one night, brother." His partner followed.

"Okay." The liaison eventually relented.

Eric and Nell had joined the three field "agents" and the five of them had spent a fun, relaxing and perfect evening. Drinking beers, eating fish tacos and enjoying the sunset in the beach. Deeks had spent a better birthday than expected and felt infinitely grateful that his team hadn't forgotten the date this time, and the effort they had gone through to make it better when they all knew how down he had been feeling and how much he was missing his partner and best friend.

They all left the parking lot in the beach three hours after first arriving and with content smiles on their faces, slightly inebriated chuckles and a healthy level of worry for what Hetty would do to them if they arrived to the office hungover the next day. But ultimately, they got in their cars, happy… they drove home feeling lighter than before… and they went to bed, hopeful. That night, Marty Deeks closed his eyes knowing that he wasn't alone anymore, he had a team, friends, a family, and hopefully soon, he would have a girlfriend too.

-x-x-x-

Kensi came running into the open courtyard as soon as she spotted her three teammates on the ground. She sank onto the hard concrete and started sobbing as she took notice of how much blood was visible… in her partner's shirt, her teammates' hands, the floor… everywhere.

"Deeks." She whispered scarily. "Deeks." She repeated in a stronger voice. "Deeks, please." She said in between sniffles. "Marty." She desperately begged. But, no matter what she said, how much she pleaded, who she implored to, her boyfriend didn't respond, opened his eyes, or acknowledged that he was still there, with them, in any way.

With Sam and Callen's voices Deeks had wanted to scream, but with Kensi's frantic one, he wanted to cry. Feeling tears below his closed eyelids, he felt himself break, and again his brain drew him to the past.

-x-x-x-

Eight year old Marty Deeks woke up to the sound of strange noises and screams coming from their parents' bedroom. The blonde boy was curious by nature, so he stood out of bed, silently opened his door and walked the hall towards the door at the other end. He put his ear to the wood and focused on the noises.

He remembered having been caught snooping some months ago, and his mother telling him that what grown-ups did in their room was only for them, and little boys like him should stay in their beds and sleep. He had asked about the noises, and Bertie had responded that the "noises" were the way adults showed their love for each other. He didn't understood, so he just nodded and silently padded back to his room.

Some months later, he still didn't get what his mama had meant, but he wondered if maybe his parents were showing their love for each other now, and he felt really happy for them. But then he heard a sob, and his brow furrowed.

Joy and love, didn't fit with sobbing and tears, and the blue-eyed boy was confused. Then came a pained scream and his body tensed.

Joy and love, didn't fit with this type of screaming, and the blonde boy was even more confused.

Little Marty considered going to his bed and sleeping as his mother had said, but then came another sob, and another scream, so trying to feel older and braver than he was, the young boy stretched his small body to reach the handle, and pushed the door open.

The sight that welcomed him was his father on top of his sobbing mother, picture frames and other objects littering the ground, grumbled sheets, crimson spots everywhere and beer bottles around the bed. And a terrible smell. He scrunched his nose, and tried to remember where he knew the smell from. Then he remembered mama telling him about the beverage his father drank, and how in his childlike innocence he had asked to try it, then how his mother had laughed telling him that booze was not something for good, little boys like him.

As soon as the door opened, Roberta and Gordon turned around to see the wide-eyed face of their eight year old son, causing the mother to start shaking and her world crumbling because she had failed to shield her Martin from the monster of his father. And the father to smirk, then step out of the bed, grab the small child by the collar of his pajama and throw him out of the room. But not without following him, and closing the door behind father and son, leaving a terrified, sobbing and helpless Roberta to listen to the night the nightmare began for her boy.

That night, little Marty Deeks felt more alone than ever before as he received the first beating from his father, and his world was never the same. He still laughed and joked and loved life, but he was also forced to learn that life wasn't fair, or just, or even good for everyone. That night, the first part of the boy's innocence and hope were destroyed, and he never again associated tears with happiness or love.

-x-x-x-

The sound of the ambulance's siren brought all four NCIS teammates back to the present. And minutes later, three paramedics came into the open space with a stretcher and their bags. They lowered themselves to the ground next to the bleeding detective and started working to save his life. The dire looks on their faces telling Callen, Sam, and Kensi everything they needed to know and prompting them to start preparing for the worst.

As Deeks was lifted onto the stretcher with an IV on his arm, fresh bandages of his wound, and a heart monitor attached to his chest, Kensi grabbed his hand, Sam put a hand on his shoulder and Callen on his leg. All three team members had tears rolling down their faces and they all prayed to anyone willing to listen to please save Deeks' life and return him to them.

Deeks felt his body moved, but quickly realized it wasn't by his own choice. He felt strange hands touching and prodding him, then a needle prickling his arm, someone removing his shirt, the cool air on his bare, drenched skin, and the sweat that kept trickling from the nape of his neck and chilling his body. Then he felt comforting touches, one on his hand, the other on his shoulder and one on his leg. Trying to focus and regain his wit, he realized those three were his teammates, his family, and that made him remember he wasn't alone anymore.

As the blonde detective felt his body moving, or more like, rolling outside, he focused more on his surroundings and heard again the pleads and messages from his team. Please fight, don't leave us, don't do this to us, I need you, I love you, we need you, please, please, please, come back to us. The words were jumbled in his own cluttered thoughts but they gave him comfort and peace. So with all the strength he had left, he lifted his hand, halting the progress of the stretcher and making all three of his teammates stop and turn around to look at him.

Marty Deeks' blue eyes opened, and he stared at the endless sky. Kensi instantly moved to push his damp, messy curls away from his forehead, as she cried happy tears and felt more hopeful that before. Callen and Sam also had tears on their eyes, and they greeted their friend as they kept begging him to hold on and fight for his life.

"I'm sorry." Deeks rasped as his throat felt dry and raw and he felt more discomfort just from the effort of talking. "Didn't mean to get shot, again…" He drily laughed. "I love you, and it was my biggest honor knowing and working with all seven of you. And princess, please remember I would never leave you willingly." The blonde man focused on the sky again, the blue that reflected in his pained eyes, the fluffy clouds, and the free birds… getting caught in the infinity of it all. He felt as if he was floating… drifting away and he couldn't do anything to stop it. With no more strength in his body, he eventually closed his eyes, with a lone tear rolling down his face. Then Marty Deeks fell into unconsciousness once more. The last image on his mind, that of his three crying teammates, and from that day, he learned that tears could be as much a sign of pain and misery, but also one of joy… love… and hope.

Kensi, Callen and Sam began shaking Deeks' body as they continued to beg him to fight and wake up. He had managed to open his eyes, but only to say what they all felt was his final goodbye, and none of them wanted to think of what that meant. They had resumed their walk now, and all three could only stand and watch as the stretcher was lifted onto the ambulance, the door closed behind them, and the vehicle started driving away.

In their numbness and despair, the last sounds the agents remember hearing was the steady beep of the heart monitor turning constant and continuous, with no breaks in between the beeps. Then, one of the paramedics asking for a shot of vasopressin and the other ordering to start cardiopulmonary resuscitation… The combination of the endless flat noise that pierced their ears and broke their hearts, and the medics' requests, successfully signaling that the heart monitor had flat lined and their friend was effectively losing his life.

I'm really scared to post this. I started writing it with the intention of it never leaving my laptop, but today I was convinced to share it. So, infinite thanks for reading, and I hope to hear what everyone thinks. Know your support, in whatever form it comes, is always appreciated and it's the reason why I keep writing and sharing.