Song: Vanilla Twilight by Owl City
Paring: Tiva
Rating: K+ (Because Tony is being needy)
Time: After "Aliyah". After Ziva had left, before her rescue.
The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
It had been nearly three weeks since she had left, and still he had not gotten a good amount of sleep. Nearly every night he'd stay up, watching movies to distract himself, cleaning to distract himself (his apartment had never looked more spotless), or just lying in bed, missing her. It had become almost a routine for him.
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'l lmiss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you dear
'Cause I wish you were here
Eventually his eyes close, too exhausted to stay open anymore. He'd still feel empty thoug, because he knew she wouldn't be there in the morning when he arrived at work, smiling with a mysterious gleam in her eyes. Occasionally, he'd hold his hand to his chest to make sure his heart was still there, beating away, making sure life flowed through his body, even when he wished it didn't. He imagined Ziva doing the same, wondering about him and maybe smiling at some memories they had shared. And he wondered why she never called, wrote, or even sent a postcard. He wished she was here, with him, happy and safe.
I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
Sometimes he'd call in sick, and just watch the sun rise slowly, and when it had risen, he studied the clouds, making out shapes. Every once in a while, he'd see her face. He remembered the day they had gotten the day off, and they had decided to run around town together. She had taken him to a park he had never been to before, and they had climbed a tree and sat on a branch together, watching the day go by. Sometimes she'd turn and lean into him, and whisper a secret into his ear, like "I used to sleep with a teddy bear under a pillow when I was younger," or "I'm rather afraid of spiders." Each one made him smile, and she'd smile back, her eyes lighting up in that special way.
The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly
When NCIS was running slow, and there was nothing to distract him from the dull ache that throbbed in his chest, he would just stare at his hands. He missed her, and each day he wished he had tried harder to get her to understand, for her to trust him again. They were the perfect team, and he had screwed it up.
I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because
When I think of you
I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone
Occasionally, he'd climb the stairs to the top of his apartment building, onto the roof, just so he could look at the stars, and know that wherever she was in the world, she could see the same thing he did, and they weren't that far apart anymore. He'd sit there all night, sifting through the memories of her. They made him smile, and the dull ache would fade for a while.
"Still thinking about that girl of yours?" he felt a gentle hand grab his arm, and he jumped back, reaching for his gun, only to realize that he was in his pajama pants, and that it was just his elderly neighbor.
He turned around again, "Every night,"
"She'll come back. And when that happens, you might want to think about telling her how you feel," the old woman sighed, turning around, and hobbling back towards the stairs, and Tony listened, until her footsteps faded, and he knew he was alone with his thoughts again,. How did he feel about Ziva?
He put his hands on the railings and watched the night again, until morning came, and he was forced to accept again, that she was somewhere else, happier, and that his neighbor was wrong. She wouldn't come back, and that caused the pain to return.
As many times as I blink
I'll think of you, tonight
I'll think of you tonight
Once, he had tried to count how manhy times she had entered his thoughts, only to find out it was impossible. She was always there smiling, crying, laughing, yelling, scolding, or anything else he could possibly think of and he yearned for her to stand next to him, to have his back.
When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here
Across the world, Ziva David lay in bed, trying to forget. Nothing had worked, and she'd lay awake at night remembering everything, Tony, the one she loved, Abby, her best friend, McGee, her brother, and Gibbs, her father. And when her eyes began to droop, she swore she could hear Tony's voice whispering in her ear, in a breathy voice, "Oh darling, I wish you were here,"
She fell asleep with a smile on her face.