Ever since the day in the garden with my brother and Nikita I have been in a daze. My life finally seemed worth living. My bastard father was dead, my brother was happy and mated and so was I, and I had Caleb. And now, now I was driven by a new force. I had never dared imagine. I was going to be a father. I had thought it impossible since InuYasha had stabbed Niki, but yet it was true. I had felt my child move inside of her. I had sensed him long before she even began to show her pregnancy and now she was half way. I was three months away from becoming a father.
I stared at her in wonder as she played with Caleb's hair. She liked doing that. They were in the garden and I was on the balcony of Nikita and my bedroom. The air that was blown to my senses softly on the breeze was an intoxicating mix of Nikita and Caleb. The two people in this world whom I loved most. I breathed in the warm air of late summer. I wrinkled my nose.
"InuYasha." I groaned. My brother had taken to teasing me now. Not that I actually complained about it.
"Sesshomaru." He said from his post at the door. I turned to him.
"What do you want?" I asked.
"Nothing in particular." He said hesitantly. I glared at him. I knew him better than that.
"Nii-san. I'm worried." He finally admitted. I knew about what. He never stopped feeling guilty about stabbing Nikita. But honestly, no one could have blamed him and he knew it.
"I know brother, but she would not hide if something was wrong." I assured him.
He looked at from under his white bangs. I couldn't help but sneak a smile at him. I had discarded my stoic mask ages ago. I had no need for it anymore.
I found my little brother's human emotions somewhat sadistically amusing. He was so easily fazed. So easily worried, but I had to admit, I found myself plagued with concern for my mate and our unborn child at time. But she would soon burn a hole in me with her cold eyes if she sensed my concern. She called it 'daddy syndrome'. So like her.
I took my brother around his neck and led him to where my mate was playing with my lover's hair. I smirked at how odd that sounded. She looked up and me and immediately knew why I had dragged InuYasha out here. She scowled and gave him the stare. I quivered. Those eyes… I felt him squirm and whine.
"Onegaii. Gomen-nasai! Niki! Don't look at me like that! I'll suffocate." He pouted like a little child. He knew it melted her heart. Caleb giggled lazily as Nikita hugged my brother.
"Stupid hanyou. I'll suffocate you whenever I see fit." She declared as he got up to go to his mate. Jasmine, her name was. She was a soft and loving Inu youkai. The same white hair as his. I smiled as I watched them walk away. I was suddenly tugged to the ground and enveloped in the arms of my lover. He kissed me on the head.
"Baka. When you gonna stop that?" He asked. His voice was intoxicating. It was deep and smooth. I knew what he was talking about. I had started biting my bottom lip. Something I had done ever since the first time my father had raped me. I quivered at the memory and relaxed into his embrace.
"Gomen-nasai. I'm an idiot." I confessed as my mate curled up at his other side. We lay there with our heads on his shoulders and our hands held together on his chest.
I was home and I was happy. How could life get any more perfect than this?
Later that night after we went to our rooms and Nikita was lying in my arms I couldn't help but wonder how it would be once the baby was born. I smiled at the thought. It was comforting to know that we were safe. Caleb had tried once to persuade me that there was a good reason why my father had forbidden me to mate Nikita when he was alive. I had stubbornly refused to believe him and dismissed it as my father being the way he was, spiteful and heartless. But now I knew the damn ookami had been right.
I would have been consumed by fear if Nikita had gotten pregnant while the bastard was still alive.
She hit me lightly. "Ona." She hissed. I laughed. Would she ever fail to notice what I was thinking? I smiled down at her. I had long since gotten used to her cold skin. It was a blessing in the hot summer nights. She pouted and stared at me. I reached down and put my hand on her swollen stomach. He was moving again. He, yes a boy. I felt it. She knew just how to make my heart melt. I made no attempt to react; instead, I pretended not to notice as my child fluttered as he sensed me.
"Spartan." She whispered in my ear and turned around, teasing me.
I laughed softly. "Baby! Don't be mean." I protested. She always melted when I called her baby. I never did know why.
She turned back towards me and rested her head in the crook of my arm. "I love you." She whispered.
"I love you too." I said kissing her lightly on her temple. She closed her eyes and we both drifted slowly to sleep. This is what life was supposed to feel like.
I was torn between excitement and dread like I had never been before. Nikita was in labor, in pain, again. Because of me. Kami why did this joy have to come with such pain? I was helpless, I hate being helpless. Caleb was calm, relaxed. It irritated me to point of insanity! How could he be so calm?
Oh of course. He had been here before. He had a daughter. He knew exactly what was going thought my mind, but do you think he would reassure me, or even say anything? No! He sat there smirking at me! I cursed the ookami for his demonic sadism. He knew I was freaking out, and he liked it! He liked seeing me squirm. I growled softly at him. He laughed and pulled me down.
"Relax baka. She'll be fine. They both will." He said. It didn't work. I was still worried sick. I wanted to get up again. To pace. But he held me down.
"Bloody ookami. Remind me again why exactly I haven't killed you by now." I demanded.
He laughed again. Why was he laughing?! This was not a laughing matter! My mate was giving birth and there nothing I could do about it!
"Because you love me. And need me. And I'm the only one who can persuade you that if you don't stop pacing you will soon lose your feet."
I sighed and gave up my struggle to get up. This was going to be a long night.
Nikita was sitting on the bed. She smirked at the thought of me in the state I was in at the moment. Stupid wench. Even she was enjoying this. She knew I was not allowed, by custom, to witness the birth, and she was relieved. She knew I would not handle her pain all too well.
She tensed at the contraction that hit her, but made no sound. The pain was building up steadily, but she was still fine. Pain was nothing new to her. She rolled her eyes as the midwife fussed about in a state. Why exactly did this one have to be so damn jumpy?
After about seven or eight hours of labor the birth was close. The pain was manageable, but it was tricky to breathe through the contractions.
Finally she was instructed to push. Her mind wondered for a moment to her father. She had run away from him years ago. Mufasa had never really done anything wrong to her, but she feared him. Her mother had said something before she died that made her fear him. 'If he ever made you do something you don't want. Run my child'. Nikita had not stuck around to find out what that something was.
She bore down as the searing pain slammed into her. This was not going to be easy. But then again she already knew that. Again and again she bore down, until finally she was told to relax. She knew it was over. Like a snow leopard the baby did not cry at birth. They never did. It was the one thing that all other youkai, all other women feared. But not the snow leopards. For them it was the norm.
She was aching and exhausted and she knew she would not get to see the child any time soon. It had to be inspected and cleaned first. In a way she was thankful. She had to fathom what this meant first. She was cleaned and taken to another room. There she climbed into a large, soft, welcoming bed. The woman who helped her shivered at her touch. Most people who weren't used to her cold skin did. She found it amusing.
She did not miss her youki. Any normal youkai would have been empty without it, but she was not. Her father had been a hanyou. No one knew this. Only a hand full of people. Her father himself did not know that Nikita knew. But she did. That is how I had known she would be fine without her youki. Her human side would save her from being empty.
The midwife came out and told me I could see her. I wasted no time in scurrying off down the corridor to the room she was in. I ignored Caleb's snickers. He would pay for this later and he probably knew it too.
She was laying under the soft silk sheets, her black hair was sprayed out on the pillow behind her. Kami she was beautiful. She smiled at me and, to my greatest horror, at up. I was about to protest when a cold finger was pressed against my lips.
"Don't you dare." She whispered.
I nodded fearing what might happen if I dared. "Are you okay?" I asked hesitantly.
She smiled at me. "Uh huh. Just a little sore and tired." She answered.
I sighed in relief. Stupid mutt that I was. I knew she was okay. I would never hear the end of this. I knew it.
A while later they bought a squirming bundle of silk through a side door. Nikita was sitting back on a bunch of pillows that were stacked up behind her. I took the bundle from the woman and sat down again next to her. I looked down at the golden eyes of my son. He had black hair but a silver fringe. His mother brushed his silver fringe away from his forehead and smiled at the black crescent moon on his it.
She laid her head on my shoulder. I felt tears stinging my eyes. I had cried once in the past thirteen years in which my father had been dead and that was two days after she woke up after my brother stabbed her. She smelled the salt in my tears and looked up at me innocently. Oh no I found myself thinking. I'd never hear the end of this.
"Spartan." She whispered. I cursed her for being so absolutely adorable when she did that. She called me Spartan when I was acting silly. I had an idea it had to do with her story about the famous Spartan resolve. But I wasn't sure.
I let a tear streak its way down my cheek and put my forehead of her head. I hugged my son lightly.
"This Sesshomaru does not cry wench." I said.
She hugged me. "Of course he doesn't." She whispered. I handed the baby to her and she looked into his curious golden eyes. I blinked back more tears at seeing him in her arms. What was I crying for? I was happy damnit!
"Rosier." I whispered in her ear. She smiled at me. It was settled. He'd be named Rosier. After the arch angel of vengeance.
When I woke up the next morning my mate and my son where not in the room with me. I almost panicked, but decided against it. I rose and dressed and went in search of them. I found them in the garden, with Caleb. I snorted at seeing him cooed over the baby. He looked so odd with a child in his arms.
He didn't notice as I came to stand before him. Nikita noticed me though and smiled up at me slyly.
"Don't get any ideas ookami. You have one already remember." I remind him.
"Yes but mine is grown up and mated and now calls me outa-san instead of daddy, and relays her mother's treats to castrate me with a brick if I ever came near her again. And besides she's mean now, she's getting too damn witty." He complained thoughtfully.
"You mean she's turning into you?" I corrected.
He eyed me. Caylee was his prize possession and I can understand why. I sat down next to Nikita and put my arm around her. She didn't seem so cold anymore. No. It was just me. I dismissed it.
Caleb continued his inspection of Ross when I noticed my brother approaching. He seemed as though he had already seen the baby because he shoved me.
"Daddy." He teased.
I growled. "InuYasha."
"Sorry. Ima blow this joint kay. I got places to be and people to torment." He announced as he left again.
The next two years where the most interesting of my life. I was fascinated by the relationship that Ross formed with his mother and Caleb. He had poor Caleb wound around his finger and me too, although I would have never admitted it back then.
To my utter despair one of the first words he uttered was Spartan. He had taken to calling Caleb ookami, not that anyone minded that. He called InuYasha baka, which was entire my fault, again something I would never admit, not that my brother minded.
He called Nikita matem which was the word for mother in her native tongue. Me he either referred to as dad or papa depending on his current mood. As expected he had stolen the hearts of many far and wide. He kept us busy.
I was mildly surprised when my brother announced, proudly, that Jasmine was pregnant. I decided that this would be fun. Round about the same time we learned of Jasmine's pregnancy Caylee and Kiba, her mate, announced to a very off guard Caleb that he was going to be a grandfather. Now this I could not resist. They would stay with us until after the baby was born, and with Caylee came Jathara, her demanding and threatening mother.
But after all of Caleb's cowering Jathara lost control of her… lust, and well… yeah, ended up pregnant herself, again.
"So much for wolves mating for life." I mused at my poor lover who would become a grandfather and a father again all within a few months of each other. He whined and I hugged him tighter. Shame he was stressed and I was being cruel, but this was payback.
With all the fuss and new arrivals in the castle I failed to notice that I had completely let my guard down around everybody and found myself face to face with a very amused Toto-sai. Damn sword maker. Now the whole world would know I'm not a stoic beast anymore, not that I ever was. After he had came and went Jasmine had a son. A white haired, golden eyes boy with InuYasha's ears. Much to Jasmine's delight.
A week later Caylee had a daughter, which left Caleb beaming. Then two months later Jathara went into a very noisy labor. She vocalized everything. Though Caleb could hear it better than I could, since he was in there with her. Although he was quiet. Nikita felt sorry for him and went in to save him incase Jathara just did castrate him. After Nikta went in Jathara quieted down and soon it was all over and Caleb had a son.
After all the fuss had died down and Jathara and the baby, which miraculously was also a ridgeback, were asleep Caleb came stumbling tiredly to me. I had never seen him so beat. He was tired and his eyes were hazed over. He fell down next to me on the bed on his stomach with his arms crossed over his chest. Caylee and her new family had left earlier that day so it was deathly quiet now. Nikita had gone to put Ross to bed so I was alone in the room with him.
I put my hand in his silky silver mane and he sighed heavily. He was exhausted. I didn't blame him.
"Cale are you okay?" I asked scooting down to lie next to him on my back.
"I guess so." He answered resting his head on my shoulder and turning over on his side.
I looked at him. I didn't fall for that one.
"Caleb."
He closed his eyes. "My father is gonna want me to go back with her to raise the baby." He confessed sadly scooting closer to me. I knew this already. Sasha was old school, like Mufasa, who was still oblivious to the fact that he had an heir. Assuming he was still alive.
"It'll be okay love." I said hugging him. He was such a sucker. Why did he have to suffer fools such as me? Kami I loved him, almost too much. How could he and Nikita be so understanding of this damn love triangle? Weren't they supposed to hate each other?
"Did I ever tell you how irresistible the two of you were like that?" Nikita asked from where she stood in the doorway. Caleb raised his head and smiled at her.
She strode over to the bed and lay down on my other side. We slept that way that night. It felt… right.
After Caleb left for the Northern Lands I felt half empty. I missed him and I knew he missed me, but that plagued me the most was that I had Nikita and he had no one. He never loved Jathara and he never would. They cared about each other, but it was not love.
I was distracted by Nikita and Ross a lot, thankfully.
One day when I was in the courtyard training Ross, who was now sixteen, he got an odd expression on his face. I looked at him and was about to say something when he shocked me out of space and time for a moment. He knew everything about my past, and my… tendencies. He never seemed to mind.
He looked over my shoulder. "Ookami." He smiled. I froze and dropped the sword in my hand. I spun round to see Caleb standing against the doorframe with an infuriating smirk on his face.
I ran to him and we hugged tight for what seemed to a moment that would last forever. Ross pulled a face that left us both laughing. He was panting from the sparring. He turned to his mother. "Now that I remember." He said pointing at us. "Bleh." He panted out.
Then I heard another similar protest coming from behind Cale. He turned around and there stood a younger version of him, in white. It gave a nervous laugh and smiled sheepishly.
"Hope you don't mind. I brought it with me." Caleb said ruffling my hair.
"Does it have a name?" I asked the fourteen year old boy. They had left in such a hurry I hadn't caught a name from Caleb.
"Haru." The white wolf answered.
"People! I get that's it been a while since you've seen each other but what gives with the hugging already!?" Ross protested. Then we realized that we hadn't let go of each other yet. So we did so.
"Thank you. Finally." He said shoving us apart and peeking at Caleb's son.
"Welcome to purgatory brother." He announced happily. Haru laughed. They have been best friends ever since. And no, my son did not inherit my tendencies and neither did Haru.
A week after Caleb came back I fell for the exact same trap again in the garden on the grass. Though InuYasha was not there. He had moved to his own villa ages ago. I was sitting next to Niki when my hand was abruptly deposited on her stomach and I was ordered to close my eyes. Like a fool I obeyed, and was soon greeted by a soft sensation in soul. I heard a giggle far off in my mind, then I felt it. The tiny, newly forming youki of the child inside of my mate. Caleb had snuck off, knowing full well what Nikita was doing.
Haru and Ross were staring at me as if I was crazy. I opened one eye and stared at Nikita, who was awaiting my reaction. With considerable difficulty I suppressed the urge to react like I had with Ross. I removed my hand from her stomach and placed it on her forehead as if feeling for a fever.
I was roughly whacked. "Spartan!" She sat up and attempted to get away, but I pulled her back down and bundled her in my arms.
The boys were still staring at us blankly. I was whispering sweet nothings in her ear when my son suddenly appeared above us.
"Shall I fetch a gypsy to readjust your broken minds?" He inquired.
I glared at him, but his mother laughed.
"I'm pregnant baka." She stated.
He staggered back right into Haru who was in an equal state of shock.
I doubt I had ever laughed that much in my life before. Five months later I was in a state again, which Caleb and Ross found quite amusing. Haru was preoccupied with his father's odd torment of me, to my greatest surprise I was later dragged into the room I was strictly not allowed entrance to. There I was met by a site quite the contrary of what my minds eye had created. Nikita was sitting on the bed joking around with one of the footgirls.
I stumbled over to her and sat down behind her. I stayed with her the whole time. It became harder for her as time dragged on into the night. As the birth came closer she lay back on my chest and softly moaned in pain at each contraction, but it was relaxed and I was preoccupied with keeping her comfortable, so my worry seeped away. I was amazed at how her pain came and went so completely. She stiffened then relaxed completely to continue giggling and chatting.
The real taxing part came when she had to push. It was torture reading her pain and not being able to do anything to ease it. She clutched at my arms and wrists as it got worse and I started to worry again. It seemed like it was taking too long, but the midwife seemed relaxed, bored if that.
Nikita was in serious pain and I knew it and although I knew it was almost over I couldn't help but wonder weather it would ever end. She tensed again and I laced my fingers into hers as she bore down. She let a small cry escape her lips, but no more. A few moments later she bore down again, harder this time and gasped this time, I was caught off guard as they took the baby away. The faint smell of blood floated to my nose but nothing notable.
After a while Nikita was completely relaxed again and twirling my hair in her fingers. I was still caught up in the moment. "Spartan. Why so quiet?" She inquired.
I shook my head realizing I was staring into space. "That was…" I couldn't find a word. I couldn't decide if it was good or bad. Could it be both?
"Painful." She said smiling. I looked down at her.
"Yeah." I agreed.
When it was all over and they bought the baby to us I was almost too afraid to look at it. I didn't know what it was or even if it was okay to look. Why was it so different this time? Was it because I had been there and seen it happen? All the pain and effort that this little creature had put my beloved Nikita through. Or was it because she had not hidden the truth from me? She took the bundle into her arms and all memory of her pain was forgotten instantly. What was I thinking? This was perfect.
It was a girl with soft blue eyes and silver hair. She was the most beautiful think I had ever lay eyes on. Kami how could my life had gone so… right? My tormented youth of loss, loneliness, betrayal and rape was now nothing but a bad dream. I was happy.
We named our daughter Mesha. Which in Inu tongue meant perfection. And that she was. Everything was perfect and everything would be prefect for the rest of our lives.
A/N moosh moosh and more moosh. I'm evil
So what ya think? Do you think I made Sesshomaru a bit far fetched? Too soft maybe? Oh well see the worry in my eye.