"It isn't logical. That would be my reasoning, Lieutenant."

"It isn't logical?! Spock, I don't care that you're part-Vulcan; that is the worst reason I have ever heard in my entire life."

"I didn't ask for your opinion on the matter, Lieutenant. I gave you my reasons. I expect you to respect them."

Pause.

"Spock, tell me what's happened."

"Give me a chance to figure it out."

Lieutenant Uhura was less than pleased with the outcome of her talk with Spock. He was completely serious about ending their relationship for what appeared to be no reason at all. 'Logic' wasn't a reason, in her mind, and it wasn't fair to have it end like this. Not when she spent so much time thinking about him. No, this was not going to happen. There was something else going on with Spock, and Uhura was determined to figure out what it was.

She stormed through the halls of the U.S.S. Enterprise, oblivious to the look of sheer rage she had on her face that made all those in her path instantly glue themselves to the wall. She was headed to Spock's room, where she hoped he would be, and if he wasn't there... Her emotions might overcome her.

She was so caught up in the events of the morning that she couldn't even remember what the rescue mission had consisted of; she only knew that there was a small exploration ship that had broken and was without a mechanic. For some reason, the Enterprise, undoubtedly the best ship with the best crew, was chosen to rescue the vessel. A simple mission that was easily accomplished. The Enterprise was now waiting to go into warp, she presumed.

Uhura continued through the hall, determined to get to her destination. She rounded the corner and noticed an open door and an abnormally messy room. Slightly shocked, she backed up to examine it more thoroughly. She saw numerous books, mostly on the subject of physics, laying across the floor, and probably hundreds of papers surrounding them. Some were crumpled up into balls, some were slightly torn, and some were in fine condition. Every piece was full of writing – mostly complicated equations, although some had notes in English and Russian. Her eyes made it to the bed in the room, which was perfectly made, and then to the boy sitting at the end of it. Pavel Chekov was no older than seventeen, making the bottle of liquor he was holding a violation.

Uhura decided to take out some of her anger on the curly-haired boy.

"Ensign, what the hell are you doing?" Uhura said viciously, storming through the door of Chekov's room. She expected the usual straightening of the boy's spine, the fidgeting with his hands, and the stutter as he tried to throw an explanation together. However, Chekov did not flinch. He remained hunched, one of his pale hands grasping a clear bottle, the other holding a small plastic glass, his eyes staring emptily at the floor. He made no move to acknowledge her. She moved to stand in front of him, her arms folded across her chest, her eyebrows tensed, her stare terrifying – a move that instilled terror in everyone she had ever had to frighten. Chekov did nothing. "Ensign?" She growled. "Explain yourself. Now."

The ensign stared at the floor. "I heard Kirk say once, 'I drink when I am upset. It helps me.' Something like zat... Perhaps he mentioned also drinking for fun..." He swirled the bottle around, creating a whirlpool of clear liquid. "I decided to try zis. I have never had a drink before, and wodka was invented by Russians, zerefore it must be best." Chekov took the bottle and poured a very small amount into the cup, then pressed the cup to his lips and gulped the contents. "I have seen others drink, however. I am hopeful I am doing it correctly." He kept staring at the floor. "Does zat satisfy you, Lieutenant?"

Uhura couldn't tell if he was being polite, albeit intoxicated, or sarcastic. She was, however, too interested in what he was saying to care about how he was saying it. She sat down next to him on his bed. "Pain, Ensign? What pain?" she asked him in a slightly softer tone. "Generally, we go to McCoy for pain. Not alcohol."

"Lieutenant Uhura -" Chekov began, but she stopped him.

"Right now, call me Nyota."

"Nyota... How much pain does missing a person cause you?"

Uhura looked at Chekov, who was still staring blankly at the floor. She was slightly confused, perhaps because of the language barrier. "You mean inside, Pavel? How much do I miss them?"

"I mean zat... And, how much does it hurt you? Do you actually feel pain when you miss someone? Does it make your head hurt, Nyota?"

Uhura continued to look at Chekov. What he was saying had to have a story and a reason, and she was going to listen. "Pavel... What's wrong?"

"With all do respect, Nyota... You did not answer my question." For the first time, Chekov looked at her. Uhura examined his face. His expression was blank, although a little sad. This was highly unusual for him. His blue eyes had no sparkle, no life, and looked glassy. His mouth made a slight frown. Uhura stared at him.

"I... I have never physically hurt when I missed a person."

"I was afraid you were going to tell me zat," Chekov sighed, pouring himself another shot of vodka. As he raised it to his lips, Uhura grabbed the cup.

"Pavel, what's wrong?" She asked again, this time more urgently.

"A lot of people say I look like my mama, you know," he said, now staring back at the floor. "And zis is true. However, I have my papa's eyes. Zey are exactly the same as his. Imagine having the same eyes as ze one person you hate ze most. So zen, when you look at yourself in the mirror, and you look at your eyes, you see zem. Every time, you are reminded of the pain zey caused you. Every time, you zink about how lucky you are to finally be free of zem. And yet, every time, you zink about how zey were right about all of the zings zey said to you. And zis pains you more. Every time you look at yourself. Every single time."

Uhura, confused, remained silent. Chekov continued.

"Of course, he is not who I miss. I could not miss him if I tried. He was unbearable. I could not stand him because he could not stand me. He liked to tell me zat, among other zings. Anyway. I do not miss my papa. I miss ze most beautiful girl in the world. God... She was beautiful. Her hair was light brown, her skin was pale, her eyes were hazel... But on some days, zey looked green..." Chekov seemed to drift off into some sort of a dream, still staring at the floor, but with a much softer expression; one of yearning and passion. Uhura tried to think of something to say, tried to make him explain, but Chekov began to speak again.

"But what really made her beautiful, Nyota, was her... What is the word... Compassion, I zink is the word. Yes. All she wanted to do was help other people. It was so incredible, to be honest with you... I had never met another person zat only wanted to help other people. And she had an... Interesting sense of humor. Like ze keptan's, I suppose, when the keptan is making jokes that are actually humorous...

"She makes me feel like I'm not a failure. Even zough I am."

Uhura stared at him, shocked. Not only was she stunned by the lack of Chekov's usual energy, but the fact he was calling himself a failure was absurd. She opened her mouth to speak, but them closed it. It was obvious to her now that Chekov was not the young, energetic, naïve Russian ensign that every knew him as. It now seemed like that was a facade, and that the real Chekov was a deeply tortured soul. This seemed impossible. A million thoughts flooded her mind – What had happened to him? Why was he so distraught? She stuttered for a moment, trying to ask all of the questions at once, until something coherent finally came out of her mouth.

"Why?"

"Why? Well zat," Chekov said with a small sigh, "is a rather long story."

"I've got time." Uhura got up and went over to Chekov's door, pressing a large blue button. The door slid shut. She then hit a small red button, locking it. She waded back through a mess off papers and books and retook her seat next to the boy.

"I'll begin from ten years ago."

NB - Hello :] I apologize... The beginning of this was bad. Forgive me for that. Anyway, I'm going to give you a bit of a warning now... This contains some parental abuse. For that, I apologize. I will keep it to a minimum as much as possible. Reviews are great; critique is awesome, lemme know. TTFN.