AN: This is my first One Piece fanfic, so any concrit or concerns of OOCness will be appreciated.
I was wondering what would happen if Usopp happened to find a Devil Fruit, so here's what resulted from that thought.
Edit 7/27: made a subtle change to the first paragraph, so Usopp wasn't cowering in the crows nest, he was just standing. Funny how one word can change the whole perspective.
Usopp in the Limelight
It was another peaceful day on the Thousand Sunny. The crew was docked in the harbor of a small town, where they had stopped to replenish their food supplies, which Luffy had eaten about half of. Since they had recently battled three shiploads of bounty hunters that had ambushed them, most of the crew was quite exhausted. So Usopp (who had spent most of the battle standing in the crows nest and firing a bunch of his exploding pellets down in the crowd of fighters) was unanimously chosen to go buy supplies and some more cola for the ship and Franky. They had been forced to use a Coup de Burst when their battle had attracted several Marine ships.
Zoro lounged against the mast, hands behind his head. "You don't think he'll get lost in town?" he wondered.
"You're one to talk, shitty swordsman," Sanji scowled, smoking a cigarette. "Always getting lost." He was in a particularly bad mood since he didn't have enough ingredients to prepare snacks for the women.
"Eh, what was that, shit cook?" Zoro growled.
"You heard me, marimo!" Sanji flung his cigarette down and stomped on it. Zoro leapt up and reached for his swords.
"Shut up, both of you!" Nami yelled, smacking the both of them over their heads.
"Haiii Nami-swaaaaan!" Sanji weakly sang, nursing a large lump on his head.
"Ehhh, Sanji," Luffy called from the railing, fishing pole in hand. "Make me a meat sandwich! With extra meat!"
"I can't," Sanji said. "Because you already ATE ALL THE MEAT, BAKA!"
"Oh yeah, huh?" Luffy scratched his head and promptly fell asleep.
"When do you suppose Longnose-kun will be back with the supplies?" Robin asked. She was reading a book on a deck chair. "I believe it has been at least two hours since he left for town."
"That's why I said he might be lost." Zoro said crossly.
"Don't speak to Robin-chan like that, marimo!" Sanji strode up to him and kicked him.
"Oi, oi!" Zoro yelled. The two began yelling at each other. Nami sighed and went down to the womens' quarters.
"Perhaps Usopp was ambushed and attacked in town," Robin calmly suggested. "He is quite a vulnerable target."
"Yohohoho!" Brook laughed cheerfully, sitting on the grassy lawn with his violin. "If that happened, I just might have a heart attack! Ah, but, I don't have a heart. Yohohoho! Skull joke!"
"Robin, don't say things like that!" Chopper cried, clinging onto her leg. Robin smiled and patted his back.
"Usopp had better bring back some cola," Franky said. His sky blue hair was drooping over his face.
"And some milk," Brook added.
"MEAT!" Luffy suddenly perked up.
"Oh, there's Usopp now," Robin pointed out the figure running down the dock towards the ship. "I'll go put the ladder down for him."
"Huh, where's the supplies?" Franky lifted up his sunglasses with one enormous finger. Indeed, no bags or crates could be seen with Usopp. Instead, he seemed to be holding a small object cradled in his arms.
"GUYSSSS!" Usopp yelled. He scurried up the ladder that Robin had cast down for him. The sniper collapsed, panting heavily.
"Oi, did you get the food we told you to get?" Sanji glared down at him.
"No, but I got something better!" Usopp proudly held up the object he was carrying. The whole crew was gathered around him by then, including Nami, who had come back up when she heard the commotion. They all gasped.
"Is that…"
"No way…"
"Impossible…"
"…Hm?"
"SUGEEEEE!" Chopper squealed, gazing at Usopp in admiration. "Where did you find it?!?"
"Ah, glad you asked!" Usopp said, already standing with one hand on his hip. "You see, a pack of mutant ninja-wolves had attacked me, so I bravely fought them off with nothing but my bare hands. But they had managed to drive me back, so I had to think quickly! So, I intimidated them with nothing but my special death glare and the leader of the pack gave me THIS to beg for forgiveness!"
He pointed at the yellow, lumpy fruit in his hand.
"No, seriously, where'd you get it?" Zoro asked blandly.
"I, uh, found it on the beach, washed ashore." Usopp admitted.
"It must have fallen off a ship. Devil Fruit are supposed to be impossible to find around these seas." Sanji stated.
Nami's eyes lit up at an instinctive thought.
"Hey! We can sell it for millions of beri! We'll never go hungry again!"
"Oi, who said I wanted to sell it?" Usopp said, holding the fruit close to his chest protectively.
"But surely you would not want to eat it?" Robin stared intently at Usopp. She remembered when she had found that odd purple fruit on the shores of Ohara when she was nothing but a small child. If she had never eaten it, then…
Luffy spoke up, his voice oddly solemn.
"Usopp, this is a serious choice. You'll never be able to swim again. You'll be a hammer."
Usopp looked around the faces of his nakama, a bead a sweat trickling down his forehead.
"Think carefully."
He looked down at the fruit, innocently sitting in his hands. One bite, and his life would either turn for the best or for the worst. There was no telling what would happen. It was the gamble of a lifetime.
"Well, what type of fruit do you think it is?" Usopp asked.
"It's most likely a Zoan type," Robin said wisely, examining it. "They have a very subtle difference in texture from the Paramecia and Logia classes, but I may be incorrect."
"You'd better be serious about this, Long Nose. Who knows? If you eat it, you might end up as a puddle of goop." Franky shrugged.
"Or with an extra head." Nami suggested eagerly. "Or maybe even covered in disgusting boils that burst and-"
"Stop it, stop it!" Usopp waved them away. "I'll sleep on it, 'kay?"
"Not before you go buy those food supplies you were supposed to get." Sanji pointed out.
The rest of the crew wandered away. That conversation was over, for now. Usopp stored the Devil Fruit in his chest (deep down, so Nami couldn't find it) and set back out to the town. This time, Chopper decided to accompany him.
"So, what are you going to do with it, Usopp?" Chopper whispered in his Walk Point. "Are you going to eat it?"
"Of course I am!" Usopp mumbled back. A few people who walked by stared at him curiously, but he ignored them. "If I eat it, my sniper abilities and my Devil Fruit powers combined will make me unstoppable!" He yelled out this last part and posed with a hand raised. Usopp noticed the pedestrians looking at him and continued walking in embarrassment.
"Cooool!" Chopper squealed as quietly as possible. "That'd be so awesome!"
"Ah, but nothing more can be expected from I, the great Captain Usopp!" Usopp happily crowed. They stopped at several merchant stalls to buy the necessary supplies and hurried back to the ship, a bunch of bags, boxes, and jars towed along with them. The sun was just beginning to set.
"Yosh, dinner!" Luffy cried out, his arms stretching all over the table as the crew entered the dining room. Sanji smacked them away.
"Baka, don't do that! I spent all evening preparing this! Ah, Nami-san, Robin-chan, please have a seat!" Sanji said courteously.
Dinner was the usual cacophony of laughing and yelling. Franky sat at the counter with a chilled bottle of cola in one hand and Brook yelled out skull jokes at the top of his lungs ("Ah, but I don't have lungs. Yohohoho!"). Luffy was attempting to steal everyone's food, and Zoro was half-asleep and seemingly unaware of the noise around him. Robin was quiet as usual and Nami was berating Luffy for his bad table manners while Sanji sang out praises of her angelic beauty. Chopper was sobbing in fear that Nami would give Luffy brain damage if she kept hitting him like that. The only thing off about the Mugiwaras' dinner was that Usopp wasn't belting out tall tales as usual. He quietly ate his meal, seemingly in deep thought. The only other crew member who noticed was the archeologist, but she didn't mention it to anyone else.
That night, while in his hammock, Usopp quietly took out the Devil Fruit he had found half-buried in the sand that morning and held it between his hands. He ran his hands over it, feeling the miniscule grooves and light fuzz covering its bumpy, dark yellow skin. Usopp truly wanted to eat it, but Luffy's words rang through his head.
"You'll be a hammer."
Was it really worth it? He had seen Luffy in action with his Gomu Gomu no Mi abilities, Chopper shifting forms too fast for his eyes to follow, Robin's arms mercilessly snapping adversaries in half, Brook joyfully sprinting over the water. But he had also seen them (besides Robin) nearly drown on one too many occasions, struggling in the sea, sinking lower and lower until…
Usopp made his decision.
The next morning, after breakfast, Usopp made his announcement with one foot on the table.
"I'm going to eat it!"
This brought out cries of outrage and disappointment from Nami, an indifferent snort from Zoro, shocked expressions from the four Devil Fruit users, and general gasps from the rest of the crew.
Usopp swiftly pulled out the fruit from his pocket and held it out in front of him, pausing.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Franky banged his hand on the counter impatiently.
"All that beri… down his throat…" Nami cried.
"Let's see what ability you'll get!" Luffy's mood seemed to have changed abruptly from his earlier shock. He grinned widely and jumped up and down.
"Ahhh Nami-swaaaan! Don't cry!" Sanji swooped down to Nami and comfortingly rubbed her shoulders, only to be smacked away.
"Yohohoho! This is so exciting, I fear my heart will race out of my chest! Ah, but I don't have a heart. Yohohoho!" Brook laughed.
"Here we go! Ahaaaaaa!" Usopp took an enormous bite out of the fruit and the crew grew silent as he slowly chewed, his cheeks bulging.
"Well?" Zoro grunted after several strained seconds of silence.
Usopp swallowed, a lump visibly sliding down his thin neck. His eyes bulged and his mouth twisted.
"Bleegggh! It's awful! And it tastes like shit!" Usopp cried, his tongue sticking out of his mouth in disgust. He tossed the rest of the now-useless fruit aside.
"Oh, Usopp, show us your powers! Please!" Chopper's eyes sparkled with anticipation.
"Perhaps it would be wiser to experiment out on the deck." Robin suggested.
"Hai, I don't want a mess in my kitchen. Robin-chwan is so clever!" Sanji swooned.
"Yosh! To the deck, then!" Luffy yelled. He practically dragged the rest of the crew outside in his hurry and impatience.
The balmy sea breeze blew upon the nine of them as they stepped outside (or in Luffy's case, spilled out). They gathered around Usopp in a circle on the grass, waiting for him to activate whatever he had gained from consuming the Devil Fruit.
"I hope you turn into mush." Nami muttered, still sore over the loss of the possibility of making millions.
"CAPTAIN USOPP SPECIAL SECRET ABILITY!!!" Usopp screamed, arms waving above his head. His face screwed up in concentration and began to turn red.
"Oi, Long Nose, you look constipated." Franky smirked.
"Shhhh!" Chopper was staring intently at Usopp wondrously.
"Come on! Hurry up!" Luffy groaned.
"He probably ate some fruit that won't do much." Zoro doubtfully said. "Something like the Hito Hito no Mi or Yomi Yomi no Mi."
"Ah!" Usopp suddenly stood straight up with a look of inspiration. "Perhaps I need a power boost or a catch phrase or-"
"Just hurry up already, baka." Sanji pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Ahem." Usopp nervously cleared his throat and rubbed his hands together. "Alright then. Witness, the great Captain Usopp's new powers of vast coolness!"
Everyone held their breath as Usopp calmed down and stood stock still. Nothing could be heard but the waves and the whispering of the breeze.
Then, Usopp began to shrink.
Nami stifled a shriek of surprise, and Zoro snickered at the strange sight.
His back appeared to bulge and grow a layered shell of leathery, rough armor. His arms and legs shrunk into his body, forming small claws that barely stretched more than a few inches. The crew watched, speechless, as Usopp's face stretched until it was nearly as long as his nose and two ears sprouted out of his hair. His tan skin had lightened until it was a sickly shade of yellow. The crew heard a last pop as a long, rat-like tail that matched the hue of his scaly skin sprouted out from his behind. Usopp was now only a little more than a foot tall. He looked up at them expectantly.
"He's… he's an armored rat?" Luffy broke the stunned silence, tilting his head in confusion.
"I believe the correct term would be an armadillo." Robin chuckled.
"What's that?" Nami asked, laughing at Usopp's small form.
"They're supposedly quite rare, but can be found in islands with tropical or humid climates. I've never seen one up close, though."
"You look ridiculous, Long Nose." Franky grunted.
"Hm, I wonder how armadillo meat would go with a tarragon sauce." Sanji mulled.
Zoro scowled. This strangely humorous situation reminded him all too much of a certain giraffe he'd rather forget about.
"Hey! I don't look that bad, do I?" Usopp yelled. He attempted to make a few steps forward. "Ah, my back's so heavy!"
"U-Usopp?" Chopper clutched his face. "You d-don't look very cool…"
"Eh, well, this is my full animal form!" Usopp said frantically. "I'll change to my hybrid form! Just let me figure it out for a second!"
"Yohohoho! I'm laughing so hard, my lungs might burst! Ah, but I don't have lungs…" Brook trailed off.
"Okay, watch me now!" Usopp gathered their attention and began to shift again. His legs elongated along with his arms, and his claws grew to accommodate the change in size. He shot up in height from the ground, his armored back still absurdly large. Usopp's face flattened a bit, though his nose was slightly larger and more cone-shaped. His pistachio shell ears remained intact. The end product made him appear like he had some sort of scaly rash and was carrying a large shell on his back.
"Now you look like a turtle, Usopp." Luffy pointed out.
"B-but I meant to look like this!" Usopp cried. "This is going to be my secret weapon! The enemies won't expect a thing, and then WHAM! I'll surprise them with my armadillo form!"
"I read somewhere that armadillo are quite slow." Robin said. "Usopp, can you try running?"
Usopp tried, and promptly fell on his back. "Ah, my shell is too heavy!"
Nami was rolling around now, reduced to tears.
"So what good is that form for, then?" Sanji lit up a cigarette.
"Hm, let's find out, then." Zoro whipped out a sword and slashed at Usopp's back.
"AIEEEEE!" Usopp screamed. He rolled onto his stomach and curled up so only his tail and nose were visible from beneath his shell.
"I see." Zoro's eyes lit up and he stabbed at him again a couple more times.
"STOP! STOP!" Usopp's muffled screams could be heard. "AIEEEEEE!"
"Eh? Nothing happens." Luffy peered down at him. "Usopp, you're like a coconut. Really hard to damage."
"R-really?" Usopp peeked out. "A-ah. So I w-was right! I knew th-that!"
"There isn't even a scratch." Franky said in disbelief.
The sparkle in Chopper's eyes lit up again. "Really? That's so cool!"
"Yeah! I knew that all along! I was just testing you guys, you know." Usopp flipped back up and onto his feet.
"Wow! You're like a one-man fortress!" Chopper squealed.
"And, check this out!" Usopp seemed to finally realize he had claws the size of Sanji's kitchen knives and held them up. "I can slash and dig, too!"
"Oi, not on the ship!" Franky said.
"Sugeeee!" Luffy yelled. "Come on, Usopp! Let's go try out your new powers on the beach!"
"Fine, go." Nami called. "But be back in a couple hours. We're going to lift anchor then."
Usopp turned back into his human form, and sprinted away with Luffy and Chopper. Their excited yells could be heard even as they disappeared from sight.
"So, we've got our fifth Devil Fruit user." Sanji mulled, smoke wafting around his head.
"Whatever." Zoro grunted. He settled on the grass and fell asleep.
"Today has certainly been quite exciting, ne?" Robin smiled.
"Yohohoho! Certainly so! Yohohoho!" Brook laughed.
"This crew gets stranger and stranger every day." Franky shook his head.
The six of them went on with their activities as if nothing had happened. But if they listened carefully, they could hear loud whooping and shouting far off in the distance on the shores.
"SUGOI!"
AN: I chose Usopp to become an armadillo because Mr. Oda said he most resembled one, and I thought it would be amusing to see him struggle with that big armored back.
I'd really appreciate any reviews. Constructive criticism is welcome!