I found myself sweating to death whilst staring at a wall in a darkened cave on Isla Del Sol, Bolivia. Why am I staring at a wall? Well, that was sort of what I was trying to figure out right now. According to Gringotts and some very vocal Peruvian natives, this was meant to be the wall of the same cave that Ayar Cachi and his wife had been trapped in.

Who the feck is that? Well, he's slightly famous for being one of the three brothers to start the Incan Empire.

According to Peruvian legends, Ayar Cachi had been the strongest out of the three brothers. So strong, in fact, that the rocks he threw with his sling shot made mountains crumble. But...as with all legends, the bitter ending is that his brothers became jealous of his power and decided to trap him as well as his wife in a cave.

Maybe it was this cave? Maybe it was one of the hundred other ruins on the island?

Honestly I had to ask how exactly they'd trapped a guy who could break mountains but apparently they'd tricked him and his wife to search for food. Which I guess was in the same cave in which Cachi and his wife were locked inside for all of their lives with a giant stone.

Legend also says that says that the betrayal made Cachi so mad that he screamed strong enough for the whole cave came apart and the skies shivered. Well, my point is that it's not really a normal feat for a Muggle, you know?

Of course, I wasn't sent here on a retrieval mission for bits of a crumbly old cave. Nor was I here to deal with the angry spirit of a man betrayed. I was here because Gringotts thought he'd been buried either in or near his prison with a multitude of gold and magical artefacts, such as the sling shot he used to break whole mountains. Gringotts swore to high hell that the tool had been crafted by Goblins and how else could they tell except to send someone with experience in South America here, right?

I wiped the sweat off my brow, frowning at the fact that their 'someone' was me. Despite the fact that I hadn't ever actually lived in South America, I was somehow the best gal for the job thanks to my lineage.

My mother had been a Peruvian Muggle-born but she was already far more accomplished than me at 22 with her extensive studying of Hippogriff Etiquette. To be honest, I always imagined that she was way more brilliant as a 17 year old graduate from Castelobruxo than the current adult me.

She immigrated to England in an effort to continue her studies on untamed Hippogriffs in the late 1960s. I've been told that was when she'd met my dad and embraced the utter Englishness that was the Fenwick family after I'd been born about four years later.

I crouched down, tracing fissures in the walls with my fingers in hopes that I'd be able to pick up on traces of magic and I did...in a way. It was ever so faint that I wondered if maybe I was picking up on my own source of magic. I was hoping I'd be better at this but my grandma had always said my mother would have been proud of me even if I'd decided to take up professional yodelling.

"Sin giro." I paused my tracing at the sensation of something hard jab itself in my back and immediately thought of a gun. My breathing stopped when I realised I was listening to a man tell me to not turn around in broken Spanish. I think professional yodelling would have been a better choice than being a curse-breaker.

"¿Qué quiere decir con eso?" I mumbled back to the man, asking what he'd meant in my best Spanish.

I was hoping this wasn't a local that decided to try his luck with robbing me, because my pronunciation hasn't always been terrific. It'd been better when I was younger, but all of zero people spoke Spanish at Hogwarts leaving me with only being able to practice on holiday.

"What?" He responded after a second, sounding confused as if I'd just uttered a riddle in ancient Greek.

So, he isn't local? He's English, wait. My brow furrowed out of confusion while I attempted to understand the gravity of my situation. Why is he here? Is he a tourist?

I turned my head to the side to see the man, startling him "hey! I said Sin giro." My head stilled as the pointed object he was holding me hostage with pointed into my back a little harder. Alrighty then, I guess this is how it is now?

It appeared that here, in this idiotic cave, I somehow found myself trapped between a literal rock and a hard stabby thing in my back. Briefly, I considered how angry Dora was going to be if I died after bragging about my innate ability to come out smelling like daises in sticky situations. My grandma would probably cry and that'd be sad, I figured, but Dora might actually try to bring me back from the dead just to yell at me.

Nymphadora Tonks had quite the temper for a new officially trained Auror, but she'd always had a short fuse. I think her lack of self-control when she was angry was exactly why we'd become friends in the first place considering she didn't deal well with bully's and I'd had a few in my younger years.

She'd been so proud to tell me that she'd finished her training. It was something that I wondered if I'd ever be able to congratulate her on as I gripped my wand tighter. I decided that I had two options now but I had to pick one soon because my legs were seriously starting to hurt with all this prolonged crouching.

I could whirl around and fire off my best hexes which might work. Might also cause the cave to come crashing down on me and I sort of still had to find Cachi's grave. Or I could just...go along with it? Play the part of confused local and see how long it takes him to figure it out?

"What want?" This was my best attempt at hiding my farmeresque Devon accent and pretending that I didn't speak a word of English while I slipped my wand up my sleeve.

"You speak English?" The man responded, sounding almost happy with it.

Yes, playing the fool was a good plan for now. It wasn't as though he was going to kill me, if he were then why hadn't he done it already? If he were trying to rob me, I didn't have anything very valuable outside of my mum's necklace which I guess might get you a bit of change. It was only nickel that'd been gold-plated at one time with a shiny blue pebble my dad had found by the beach when my parents first met, it's worth was only sentimental.

"Sí." I nodded at the wall after a moment, wondering what he'd do next with that information.

I tensed at the sound of a long sigh, his breath smelled as though he'd been rolling around in a landfill. "Oh thank Godric, I haven't tried Spanish since I was 15." He laughed a little at that, the sound was deep and low when it'd echoed in the cave. Godric? Cripes, am I being accosted by a bloody Wizard?

Dora was going to be absolutely furious for my stupidity and recklessness, if this English Wizard killed me. Especially considering that my last letter to her was a very short 'don't worry, the most dangerous thing here are a few pesky creatures and the Peruvian Vipertooth.' I mean, I really thought that Dragons were the most dangerous thing here!

"Alright, get up and uh..." He prompted but sounded like he was still considering what he wanted me to do after I got up.

Mutely, I obeyed by slowly placing my hands in the sandy dirt as I shifted my numb and tingly legs around to stand up. I nearly fell over but gripped the wall for help while my ankles and feet enjoyed their new found supply of bloody rushing into them.

"Now, take me to your uh-tu casa."

I was still staring at the wall, taking in shallow breaths as he declared his next order. I assumed the stabby thing between my shoulder blades was just his wand poking me in the back, as opposed to a gun.

Instead of smacking him and running, I found myself wondering why he'd want come home with me. Not that I had a home here, really. I was actually just checked into an inn of sorts on the Island, but it did have a bathroom where I might be able to convince him to brush his teeth.

"Can..." I was about to just ask 'can I go now or are you going to hex me for moving' but wondered if that was a bit too articulate for the part I was trying to play.

"Can go? now?" I pursed my lips, hoping that was good enough. I think my mum would be rollin' over in her grave if she knew I was actually playing the part of an ignorant latina right now.

"Sí, sí. Go off to your house now." He seemed to believe it and I figured that was good enough for me to just turn and start walking.

I'd made it out of the cave with my anonymous English aggressor and gasped at the sight of a Hippogriff who looked to be waiting on someone to come back. Holy balls, he has a Hippogriff...good thing I didn't try to hex him, that thing might eat me if I killed his master.

"What? Why are you stoppin-" The Wizard almost shouted me when I stopped to stare and try to contain my surprise, "oh, right. Shit. You weren't supposed to see him, sorry." He apologised, and the point in my back disappeared momentarily up until the Hippogriff seemingly vanished with him uttering a word.

I think this might be the weirdest kidnapping/mugging I've ever heard of in my life.

I found myself facing yet another wall, but at least this one was in my room. We'd gotten quite the number of confused and weird looks by the time I found my way back to the Inn. The woman downstairs and her husband asked me who he was and where he'd come from as soon as we'd gotten through their front door.

I'd claimed he was my drunk uncle, hoping that him and I looked similar enough for them to believe me. I was worried that if I tried to ask for help or informed them that I'd been kidnapped, he'd snap or hurt them considering that I knew next to nothing about his temperament. I mean they were nice enough to let me stay here and the woman, Maria, made an awesome omelette for breakfast. It worked well-ish, the owners gave him disapproving looks while we stomped up the stairs and he made sure I couldn't run off while he used the bathroom.

His whole 'have to make sure you can't tattle' plan was to use magic and tie my hands to the bed frame. Honestly, if I weren't trying to be a local that was ignorant to magic, I'd have told him that I'd love it if he wanted to freshen up-like I'd even turn on the shower for him and hand him my tooth brush.

I hadn't actually seen him yet, so he may be bald or have a grotesque second head growing out of his shoulder, but I could smell him very well. As soon as we got out of the cave and I decided I'd go along with this plan, every time the wind blew I did everything I could to not gag. Let me tell you, being in a room with him ought to be used as an interrogation tactic-that man's stench could make a rubbish bin surrender all of it's secrets.

I heard the shower stop and sat up a little more, trying to twist my head around to see who I'd loaned my bathroom to for the last 30 minutes out of morbid curiosity. I stared for maybe a minute and looked forwards again once I figured out he wasn't coming out immediately.

I do realise that he'd sort of commandeered it but I still had my wand and he had no clue about me being a witch; that'd been a unknowingly genius move right there. I wasn't about to hesitate in using my wand if he did become a genuine threat but so far he'd just been a smelly homeless man.

Honestly, even as a child, I went along with plans that weren't terrific while knowing they were terrible; I gave my grandma quite the run for her money in raising me. When Dora and I tried to break into Hogwarts's greenhouse, I knew it was a bad plan while we did it but it was fun to sneak around. The detention with McGonagall after we got caught wasn't as much fun, nor was the howler I received the next morning, but hey. You live and you sometimes learn.

I heard the door creakily open behind me and twisted around again to see a pale black haired man with numerous tattoos all over his chest. Curiously, my eyes traced down from what I could see on his shoulders and chest while he rubbed his face into a towel. They looked to be runes of some kind but I couldn't tell which ones exactly without my glasses from across the room.

He'd apparently also gave his face a trimming while in the shower, the towel he'd pulled away from his face was covered in matted curly black hairs. Lovely. I mean at least he didn't smell like a dump any more, right? Oh shit, he's looking at you-my eyes widened slightly before I swallowed as he continued to watch me stare at him. LOOK AWAY, WINNIE. LOOK. AWAY.

I faced the wall again, feeling a bit like I hadn't been kidnapped but treated to a private showing of thieves-gone-wild. A second passed before I heard his feet hitting the floorboards I was sitting on, suddenly he was crouching in between the bed and the wall, peering at me.

"Thanks, got any clothes?" I glanced at him for a short second before nodding. It'd been only long enough to realise that he was clad in a bloody towel and I had my hands tied up. A vaguely morose part of my brain told me that if the towel had been any shorter I felt like I'd finally discover the connection between this man and the size of his feet. Eugh, his nails need to be clipped; the sight of his toenails right now ought to be illegal.

"Where are they then?" Forget the private showing, this had just turned into a backwards BDSM scenario consider that all we lacked were the sadism and masochism bits. I swallowed before letting out a slow breath to calm my idiotically perverted brain, "closet."

From the corner of my eye I saw him stand and disappear out of my view again, imaging he'd gone off to find the closet now. I heard a creak signalling he'd opened the doors and was now going through my clothes.

Hah! Dora always said that it was stupid for me to buy men's boxers and joggers instead of just biting my tongue and going into a lingerie shop. I'd shown her, hadn't I? Okay not really, my second-hand embarrassment for going into lingerie stores was still as idiotic as ever, but at least he'd fail to find anything particularly frilly in there.

Oh bloody hell, what if he was a pervert? You hadn't even considered that before letting him into your room, Winnie! In my defence, his smell had probably killed off too many brain cells at once for me think about things rationally. You try figuring out a random homeless blokes' intentions when he reeks like a bloody portable toilet with a mangy do-

"Winnie?" I froze at the sound of my nickname being uttered incredulously and pursed my lips, not responding. Maybe he was a Legilimens? Quick, start shouting God Save the Queen in your head before he comes over here and figures out all sorts of embarrassing secrets.

Suddenly he appeared next to me again, though at least he was wearing pants now. "Are you a witch?" My eyes followed him down as he crouched, pondering the ramifications of this predicament and my life expectancy. You know, I think I've seen him somewher-

"Come on!" I jumped when he instantaneously began shouting at me, cutting him a dirty look for trying to make my eardrum's burst.

"How else could you have an edition of the Daily Prophet?" My eyes drifted towards the newest edition of the Daily Prophet, the stupidest newspaper that Dora kept sending to 'keep me updated on important events'. It took my eyes a moment to focus in on the purple envelope that'd been ripped open amongst the pages of the newspaper.

"Did you open my mail?" I gawked, before annoyance set in and I began to glower while attempting to shimmy my wand out of my sleeve. "I'm pretty sure it's illegal to open other people's mail, y'know."

"Ah, she speaks." He glared at me, twisting the paper up in his hands while I glared back at him. "What? Were you starting to enjoy the two word sentences?" I scoffed, trying to focus on glaring at him while also getting my wand out. It was just past my sleeve, one more shake and it'd be in my hand.

"So, are you going to turn me in?" I shifted away from him at an awkward angle when he raised his hand and shouted, "have you already called them!?" He flung the mangled Newspaper at the floor near me, "watch it!" I glared at him as he stood up, seemingly deaf to my exclamation, to run off towards one of the two windows in my room.

"Is that it?"

"What are you talking about?" I raised a brow, feeling my wand slide into my palm and attempting to wave it in a way that would break my bonds but also avoid blasting my hand off. If he meant the police, I seriously doubted both the Peruvian and the Bolivian police's ability to come all the way out here for one paranoid homeless bloke-even if he were a wizard.

He ducked underneath the one window, crawling at an alarming speed to peek out the other. "They're coming for me, aren't they?" I could barely hear him over the creaking of the floorboards as he crawled, mumbling to himself.

Alright, so he's loony which was fair. I'd be loony too if my hair had matted up like his had on the back of his head. It looked as though he had the beginnings of a bird nest flopping against the back of his neck as he moved. Actually I think I'd just shave it all off, it'd be a lost cause. My hair was far too curly and frizzy to ever be untangled if I let it get to that point.

My bounds gave away, releasing me from my odd little kidnapping as I watched this random, crazy, shirtless man crawl around my room. I stared at him for a minute, not moving at all in an effort not to drag his attention back towards me. I supposed that he'd come from somewhere ghastly for his eyes to be that large as he stared at everything in the room as though it'd all jump up and attack him.

I could catch only bits and pieces of his continuous mumbling about his freedom and someone named James. Perhaps he'd realise after a few minutes that no one was coming to get him and then maybe he'd stop crawling around like the villain in a bloody horror flick. Maybe I could even talk to him then?

I was rather curious to know who he was, its not often that you find a man with his wand in your bac-okay, not that wand. Blimey, Winnie. You were all worried about him being a pervert and look at you!

He froze with his eyes still as large as dinner plates and for a moment, I worried that he might have had a heart attack on my floor. Having to call your employer about a bloke that just up and died while you were doing a job for them didn't set a great precedent. I shifted my leg slowly and nearly had a heart attack myself when his entire body shifted to watch me.

Alright! So, the man was obviously having a friggin' episode here and I was apparently the enemy. I went still and simply waited for him to realise where he was again, I didn't know exactly how long it'd take him to remember he wasn't wherever he'd been but I was willing to wait.

When I was a kid I'd been taken in momentarily by Mad-Eye Moody. It'd only been for about a month which was probably for the best considering Mad-Eye's parenting skills. It was after my parents had all but disappeared and my grandma was contacted when...well. She was owled when he couldn't find all the bits and bob's that used to be my dad.

Of course, this was after he'd lost a leg but hadn't lost his eye just yet, so he was known as Moody to me. Now, that was a paranoid man. He'd scan me up and down with his little Sneakoscope thingamajig any time I came back inside his house from playing outside.

'CONSTANT VIGILANCE, MORWENNA!' He'd shout that nearly any time I asked why he'd bother with it. I can still remember waking up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and having him suddenly blasting the feckin' door open to attack whoever was in the room with m-

"Winnie?" I blinked at the man who'd been having a bit of a breakdown to find that he'd finished his rolling and was now staring down at me with narrowed but tired looking eyes. How old was this guy? He looked to be about 50 to nearly half-dead by the sheer number of wrinkles on his face.

"That's Morwenna to you, opener-of-other-peopke's mail." I pursed my lips, waiting for him to move or breath or do literally anything but stare at me. "Yes?" I raised a brow, waiting for the next thing he'd shout.

"Why didn't you call the Ministry?" He frowned after he'd spoken, as though he was expecting some horribly painful reason.

I peered at him for a moment, noticing that he was a little closer than I'd expected him to feel comfortable with after that whole panic-attack. Though the term 'ministry' made my mind whirl, sending down a hint of worry to twist in my gut. We were both from the UK and I knew of only one Ministry in Britain, which made me wonder why he'd think that I would call them.

I shrugged, "why would I?" His frown deepened for a moment but then eased off his face as his head tilted, speculatively watching my features. "I did just...kidnap you."

"Kidnapping is a bit of an exaggeration. " I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest and freezing when I remembered that he didn't know I'd freed myself. Damn it, I just gave away the element of surprise.

"Huh." His eyes dropped down to my arms, crossed snugly against my chest before his eyes trailed up my frame again. "What do you call threatening someone into taking them home with you and tying them up then?" He raised a brow, shifting his lower body around to crouch with his elbows perched on his knees. He's a limber ol' guy, isn't he?

"Do you do yoga?" I pursed my lips as he drew back from me a touch. "No?" He raised a brow, confused for a moment as I nodded. Fair enough, I had to ask though. I couldn't sit like he was for very long, I'd just tumble over or lose the feeling in my ankles.

His confusion quickly turned into what I had to assume was him being amused, "do I look like it?" The right corner of his mouth pulled back to expose yellowed teeth that I could only stare at with disbelief.

I imagined this is was what dogs might look like if they knew how to smile which was vaguely entertaining, making my lips quirk. But the awkward way he'd done so made me think that maybe he'd somehow forgotten how to smile. That thought made me sad, so I looked away from his mouth to focus on only his nose.

I shrugged a tad, not entirely sure if being able to keep your balance on your haunches meant you did yoga. Ah, wait-that wasn't the right question to ask him, was it? Oh well. Now I know, I guess? I cleared my throat, glancing at the wall whose cracks had been filled in with Spackle. Then to the floor which wasn't very interesting so I turned my gaze back to him as none of those things gave me something to fill the silence with.

"So what'd you do?" I raised a brow, not really considering the words I'd just spouted out. I just needed something to focus on outside of the fact that the homeless man was basically studying me whilst wearing my joggers. Though I didn't mind him being shirtless, I decided that he could do with a bit to eat from the looks of him.

"I'm serious black." He dead-panned, apparently waiting on some sort of response from me at his declaration of how little he was joking around. I began nodding slowly, "me too." I furrowed my brows when he didn't continue his odd little sentence and waved my hand at him, "but...what did you do?"

"Winnie-" He sputtered, gawking at me as though I'd grown a second head. "I-I'm serious black." I rolled my eyes, nodding at him before standing up slowly.

Well! If he didn't want to share all of his dark past, that was fine. I was curious but it wasn't as though I could force him to tell me what he'd done to have the Ministry of Magic looking for him.

Eventually he'd stop mumbling about how serious he was-though as I went to take a step around him, I considered that maybe he couldn't actually recall. Or perhaps he'd been jinxed so that whenever he tried to say it 'black' came out of his mouth.

A hand grabbed my ankle, jerking it to a stop and causing me to almost fall on him in the process, "what are you doing?" He demanded hotly, gripping my ankle even when I tried to pull it away from him.

My lips fell into a straight line out of exasperation for his insistence to control where I went but when I turned my head towards him, I didn't shout like I'd wanted too. I couldn't. His expression read out as anxious and apologetic all at once, so instead I just sighed.

"I was going to get some food." I waited for that to process, watching the array of thoughts filter over his face before he seemed to like the idea but was still worried about something.

"I'm coming too." He let go of my ankle, nodding to himself as he rose to his full height. It took me a moment to respond, surprised at just how much he dwarfed me in height. Bloody hell, the man was like a windmill with arms that long.

He didn't appear to notice my gawking, moving to step around me as I reached out to grab his arm but stopped myself. "Wait!" I let my arm hang between us after I shouted at him. I didn't know how he felt about contact and I didn't fancy hanging around here out of guilt for setting him off on another panic attack.

"You can't go around lookin' like that. You'd scare everyone." I surmised, retracting my limb back to my side after he'd stopped to stare at me while I'd spoken.

"I'm not going out like this." He gave me the same awkward tightening of his lips as they retracted to show me his teeth. His response registered somewhere in the back of my mind with confusion but I didn't focus on it. I was more concerned with the fact that he'd done it yet again, he honestly had forgotten how to smile, and I frowned.

"You need to smile more." I declared before his lips dropped a touch and I held up my hand, "not that your smile isn't nice." I sucked in my lips feeling terribly inept at not insulting the poor guy.

He didn't respond, so I decided that I'd done enough damage by now and walked past him to go towards the door. Eventually I'd learn the finer points of social etiquette but as long as I didn't make him sad again for the next four hours, I figured that I'd be doing rather well.