Genie in a Chappy Tube, a bleach fanfic

Another Bleach fiction smirks My first one actually wasn't a great hit but I don't really mind at all since I wrote that for like about an hour? I was so excited on uploading a Bleach fic that I forgot to mind my grammar and all. Well for my grammar, I know its crap. Spare this drama, anyone willing to apply as my beta-reader? I'd gladly accept :) If there are corrections in my fic, please don't hesitate to tell me!

Oh and by the way, this fiction is AU. I'm not used in actions, gomen.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in Bleach plot but Kubo Tite does.

Summary: Ichigo was not having the best of his day. First, he had to buy a tampon in the grocery for his sister. Second, he tripped over a candy tube and right before his eyes was a girl in a weird genie outfit, probably floating.. She chanted, "Master!" he cried "Shit,"

Pairings: Ichigo x Rukia x Renji mainly Ishida x Orihime side-lines

Note: Major/minor character OOC-ness, minor profanities I guess, AU.

Ichigo have watched Aladdin several times with his little sisters, Karin and Yuzu. He didn't like cartoons and half-naked women, even if it was on a fictional TV show. Just of the idea as he stared at the now sleeping form of a girl, no- creature in his couch. Her delicate white skin covered in bright purple silk outfit, bras with matching pattern of the underpants she was wearing with the matching color of her eyes made him shiver. The jewelries she was wearing tore his eyes off, for they were shimmering so brightly that he would need a really dark shades.

Her form seemed calm and confident as she breathed in and out lightly. Ichigo was NOT comfortable around with girls, especially the HALF-NAKED ones. He thought of this before, but he was a quiet and sensitive man after all. With all his manly figure and tough look, who knew that he wasn't one with those bad guys on an action film? Yeah, he looked like one yet his father complained why he doesn't show interests when it comes to girls. Ichigo was asked of his sexuality, was he gay? Taken aback, he explained that he wasn't ready and he needed to focus on his study more.

Typical for this orange-headed guy, for the first few looks, he seemed like the ones in those kick-ass blockbusters in the cinema. One angry look makes a whole classroom empty. Unknown for his charismatic looks, he was an attractive man after all. He just doesn't use it, but for what purpose? That's when his nosy dad suddenly pops in the picture.

The girl, no- creature moaned slightly which made Ichigo prepare for another fury attack of hugging sessions. Instead of being tackled, he watched her move at the couch and turned at the other side. Who knew that she was a heavy sleeper in her petite form? He could really get used to this. Watching her very small feature reminded him of his little sisters. It's a good thing his father was busy in their family clinic and Yuzu and Karin were probably at their friends houses leaving Ichigo at the groceries and this.

Once his father comes in at the house and saw this in their couch with a peaceful smile in her face, oh his dad will surely have a field day.

As soon as he bowed his head down and started twirling his fingers, a pair of bright purple orbs was observing him secretly. We all know how keen Ichigo is and how he manages to feel something quickly, without a hesitant he quickly stood up and looked at the woman right in his couch.

"Konbawa Ichigo-sama!" she moved her tiny feet swiftly on the ground and stood up as well and bowed at Ichigo politely.

Ichigo-sama, he felt his eyes close again together with a twitch.

Ever since he met this, she'd been following him wherever he goes. It was exactly 9 hours, 38 minutes, 6 seconds and .08375 milli-seconds since they encountered each other. But wait, did he ever mentioned how they met? How this brooding-sadistically-midget came in to his life? You want to know? Well here's the gist.

Flashbacks Scene No.1

Karakura Grocery Store

Looking.

Where the hell was the small blue-colored pack Karin has asked him to look for? Ichigo was already embarrassed buying at the grocery store with a cart full of foods and toiletries, and now a blue-colored pack with nifty pink and yellow patterns in it? He didn't know what 9 year old girls would do with that pack, but he sure hell he'd bet it was a mushy make-up or pampering stuff.

Cursing.

Yuzu and I are going to Ururu's for a while to do a study group okay Ichi-nii? His little sister told him as she slid her shoes in her foot and ran through the door, Yuzu probably waiting for her. Oh and don't forget to buy the small blue-colored pack that I always keep in my room okay! It goes on with pink and yellow flowers in it! Ja!

"Study group," Ichigo muttered as he scanned at the products in front of him. "I'd be surprised if she comes home with a 'Most Studious certificate' and a medal. Does she ever study anyway? Psh, 9 year old squirts…"

He suddenly stopped at his tracks and saw a blue-colored pack covered in pink and yellow flowers with a weird curvy writing that says 'Teenpons'(I make the weirdest names ever) besides the diaper aisle which meant to only one thing…

"She's making me buy a fucking tampon!" he screamed out aloud not noticing a few heads turning in his way and chuckling. Great, now I made a total fool of myself in front of hundreds of people.

"Kurosaki-kun!!!"

No, Ichigo turned around and prayed it was just his imagination playing with him. But it wasn't, he saw his classmate/childhood friend running towards him and a grin plastered in her devilish face.

Heartbeat.

Ichigo waved at her slowly as a vein popped out in his temple, Oh kami why of all this hour?! "Tatsuki-san, how are you doing?" he faked the nice greeting but surely, Tatsuki would have notice by now. After 6 years spending their time in the same school, she sure gave him a headache. "I'm fine, it's rather the usual! How 'bout you Kurosaki-kun?" she eyed the pack in his hands and smirked. "Up for menstrual cycle I believe?"

"Shut up," Ichigo quickly placed the pack in the cart. "This is for Karin."

Tatsuki nodded as she placed a finger in her chin. "Probably becoming a woman huh, tell her I said hi." She glanced at her watch and jogged off. "I'll be heading off now, I have to meet Orihime-chan today. Sayonara Kurosaki-san and wait 'til I tell this to Orihime-chan!"

Great, and good riddance, he waved back glaring and watched her leave. Ichigo took a small sheet in his pocket and checked the blue pack. "Well now that's finished, I will be heading off as well too."

Ichigo isn't having the best of his day.

Flashback Scene No.2

"What the hell are these?!"

As soon as Ichigo stepped in the Kurosaki household, he was surprised to see his twin sisters arrive home early than the usual. They were watching TV and they even didn't notice Ichigo pass by them. If killers have notice the unlocked door, they would have barged in and take the girls with them and sell them off but not the Kurosaki twins. Karin here, is a tough cookie. She was confident and strong enough to protect herself while Yuzu stands behind her back.

Now back to the real world, the orange-head shounen placed the plastic full of grocery stuffs in the table and went to the sink and washed his hands. After washing, he took out all the products and put them on the proper places. Ichigo took out a bag of chips and walked over to his twin sisters and sat beside them. They were watching a mystery show, not usual for kids at their age. He thought they would be watching those anime and cartoons.

"Ichi-nii you're back!" Yuzu gasped as she heard Ichigo's munching. He turned to offer a chip to his sisters and Yuzu got a handful but Karin remained focus on the TV. She finally asks, "Where's my tissues?"

Ichigo plopped the chip in his mouth as he answered Karin, "We're out of it." The onyx haired twin shot him a quizzical look. "I thought I told you to buy one?"

That was when Ichigo's chips went on the wrong pipe. "Unggggggh!!!"

"Don't tell me you forgot to buy one, do you?" Karin continued asking as she finally stood up.

Ichigo was hitting his chest maniacally as Yuzu and Karin went to the kitchen. Yuzu was quite nice enough to get Ichigo a glass of water however Karin on the other hand-

"ICHIGOOOOOOOO!!! WHAT ARE THESE TAMPONS DOING IN MY TABLE SIDE!!" Karin shouted and as a series of kitchen utensils were being thrown towards Ichigo-

"I thought you wanted a pack with those prints!" -as Ichigo wailed and avoided her attacks.

"What could a possibly a 10 year old would do with these!" she hissed at the last word and finally threw the tampons at Ichigo's face. "Fine fine I'm sorry geesh I go buy another one damnit."

Karin shot him a triumphant smirk, "Not ANOTHER ONE. The TISSUES!"

"Right tissues, right on." He shrugged and slid off the house fast.

Cursing.

Ichigo was definitely NOT having the best of his day.

Flashback Scene No.3

Walking.

Ichigo was getting bored each time he crosses the street. The Karakura grocery store is miles from their home and he hated to admit it but he was getting tired. How could he possibly forget the pack of tissue Karin always bought? That was one of his sins for today. Now he has to suffer the consequences.

Kicking.

"Baka head," he muttered under his breath referring to him.

Kicking.

"Baka Tatsuki," still kicking at the small stones in the ground.

Kicking.

Kicki-

"Ohh a free earphone!" Ichigo grinned widely and took the black earphones and slid it in his pocket.

Kicking.

Kickin-

"AHH!!"

Stumble.

Kissing the ground.

Groaning.

Standing up.

Looking at a tube.

Stares.

Chappy the rabbit candy tubes! A delightful of different flavors just to fit in your appetite! Comes with 6 fruity & chewy flavors of strawberry, mango, lime, orange, chocolate and vanilla! Plus a fortune ball down at the tube! Chappy brings you the colorful meaning of chains as he himself makes a portable key/cellphone chain located at the turning rabbit head of the tube! Enjoy!

Ichigo finds himself glaring. "DIE YOU FIEND!! DIEEEE!!!!!!!!!"

Stomp.

POOOOFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cough.

"Where the hell is this smoke coming from?" Ichigo shouted as he coughed more.

The smoke suddenly disappeared and was replaced by sparkling glitters falling from the sky, a beam of light struck in his body.

"Master!" a chirpy female voice cried.

Blink.

"Master?"

Blinks again.

"Yes, master?" she cried once again.

Narrowing eyes.

"You're flying!!" Ichigo stumbled back and landed on his butt.

The weird looking femme chuckled. "I'm floating, silly!" her cheery voice replied as she giggled.

Ichigo stared at the girl in front- no, above him. She was wearing flashy jewelries, a bell-bottom pants, and pointy shoes without heels, and clothing that barely covered her chest. No, it was a BRA! "MY EYES! THEY BURN!"

Wait, Ichigo stopped and stared at her again. She smiled at him.

Smiles.

Stares.

Smiles.

Silence.

….

"Are you a genie?" Ichigo finally asked looking embarrassed. The girl nodded bluntly. "Hai I am, and I am here to take orders from you and grant you a hundred wishes."

"A hundred?" Ichigo gasped.

Ichigo's Registriation-Probably-Down-At-Wits-End's-Mind

Genies / Gypsies / Sluts

Wears flashy jewelries (sluts. gypsies. genies)

Wears bra in swirling pattern (sluts. gypsies. genies)

Flying (sluts. gypsies. genies.)

Comes out from a Chappy the rabbit candy tube (…..none….)

Grants wishes (sluts. gypsies. genies)

Willing to take orders (sluts. Gypsies. Genies.)

Calls the first person she sees "Master" (sluts who are hyperventilationally horny. Gypsies. genies)

Nosy and annoying (sluts. Gypsies. Genies)

Ichigo's conscience from heaven: Ichigo pumkin, you see that 'genie' is clearly outnumbered. Come on honey, go say hi.

Ichigo's conscience from hell: Listen Ichigo, it's a slut and sent down to seduce you and when I say it is, it IS a slut! Got it punk?

"Why am I your master, uhh?" Ichigo asked after 4 minutes of brain storming. She looks down at him, "Rukia, call me Rukia. Well duhhhh you see you stumbled upon my humble lair of Chappy the rabbit candy tube and I answered you before I am a genie."

Ichigo hung his mouth open. "So everyone who buys a Chappy the rabbit candy will have a genie?"

She shook her head, "Only ones who are destined are to encounter one, Ichigo-sama."

"Shit,"

Ichigo was not having the best of his day.

Note: Okaaaay so that ends the first chapter. It's kinda long and sappy, it totally sucked right? RIGHT?! (on hyper mode) Well anyways, I hope someone manages to like it anyway. Besides, this is my first serious Bleach fiction (laughs) So I gotta sign off, ja! And please read and review!